Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air
Kim Jong il was a superhero
North Korean legend has it that Kim Jong Il was born in a secret place by North Korea’s most sacred mountain, Mt. Paekdu (aka Baekdu mountain). At the moment of his birth, a double rainbow appeared and a new bright star shone in the heavens. Either that or he was born in Siberia in 1941 when his father, Kim Il-sung, leader of a “patriot and revolutionary family” was in exile in the former Soviet Union in 1942.
Kim Jong il can control the weather
According to the book by Chol-hwan Kang and Pierre Rigoulot (2005). The Aquariums of Pyongyang: Ten Years in the North Korean Gulag, Kim control the weather. (see rainbow and star) Basic Books. ISBN 0-465-01104-7
Kim legalised drugs and gave them out for free
Kim was once addicted to painkillers. Sot hat he would not enjoy the experience alone, he allowed (surely ordered? – ed) his staff to inject themselves with painkillers so they too would experience the joy of addiction.
Kim Jong il was shortist
Kim Jong il issued pamphlets advertising growth drugs. Small people would take the bait and be whisked away to live in splendid isolation on previously “uninhabited islands”. Critics say Kim Jong il was trying to kill off the shorties. But others go with the theory that Kim understood their pain and wanted the shorts to live without being looked down on by tallies – literally.
Kim Jong il understood disability
In readiness for the World Festival of Youth and Students in 1989, Kim deported disabled people from Pyongyang. Once more, Kim understood suffering. He knew that watching the able bodied running and jumping would be unbearable for the disabled. so he sent them to live in splendid isolation. And all was normal.
Kim Jong il loved Hennessy
Kim Jong Il was Hennessy customer No.1. Dr. Jerold Post said Kim invested $600,000 to $850,000 annually on the amber nectar. . He is partial to the Paradis cognac, which can sell for over $700 per bottle. In comparison, the average North Korean makes about $1000 per year.
Kim Jong il created the world’s best run city
Kijong-Dong is a wonderful place on the border with South Korea. There is no poverty. No crime. No traffic jams. No blackouts. No residents. But there is a 300lb North Korean flag, visible from much of South Korea.
Kim Jong il ran a waterpark
Images of Kim Jong-Il’s mansions reveals a supreme slide of freedom. Everyone gets a go. It’s Communism, people. just need to wait until Kim has finished.
Kim Jong il loved train travel
Was Ki Jong il afraid of flying – or was he just afraid of flying in North Korean planes? In any case he loved to move about in armoured trains. And the North Koreans were happy as larry to push and pull him along (see pedestrian motorways of North Korea).
Kim Jong il was the world’s best golfer
It was 1994 when Kim Jong Il shot an impressive 38 under par, including 11 holes in one. It was golf. Hey, it was crazy golf. Happily, while envious foreign media ignore Tiger Kim, local media were there to record the action as fact
Kim Jong il loved the movies
So keen was Kim to make a Godzilla movie that he kidnapped South Korean director Shin Sang-ok and his wife Choi Eun Hee and encouraged them to make Pulgasari. Shjooting took Shin on location to Austria, from where they escaped.
Kim Jong il loved The Omen
Did Kim kill his younger brother Kim Shu-ra? Did Kim casue Kim to drown in the family’s swimming pool when he was five?
Kim Jon il invented the sandwich
North Korean newspaper Minju Joson heralded Kim’s invention of the Kimwich – a delicious invention of “double bread with meat”. Any meat would do. Rat. Dog. Mum…
KIM Jong Il, leader of North Korea, is dead. Kim Jong il died from “fatigue” while riding a train. The North Koreans pulling and pushing said train are reported to be suicidal with grief. The question is how best to mark the life of man who isolated his country and let millions starve to death. The answer: photoshop. Kim Jong il, of couse , did his own fakery. But these might be better:
In preparation for the World Festival of Youth and Students in 1989, Kim Jong Il had disabled residents removed from Pyongyang. The government also distributed pamphlets advertising a wonder drug that would increase the height of short people.
How did Kim Jong-il die? North Korea’s state broadcaster says Leader No. 1 died from “physical fatigue” while traveling on a train. The North Koreans pushing the train are inconsolable with grief.
SO, farewell Tory Cannock Chase MP Aidan Burley, sacked from his job as a parliamentary private secretary for being on Stag so in France with lots of white people dressed as Nazi Party SS officers, who while sat in the Frog and Roast Beef pub in Val Thorens chanted “Mein Fuhrer! Mein Fuhrer! Mein Fuhrer!”, “Himmler! Himmler! Himmler!” and “Eichmann! Eichmann! Eichmann!”. There were also Nazi salutes.
Why-oh-why-oh-why did no one forewarn Eton and Oxford educated Burley that such behaviour might upset others? Is it in the MPs contract? No. If you want to blame anyone, blame the lawyers. If you write it down, Burley will obey the orders, no doubt.
A Conservative Party spokesman says:
“Aidan Burley has behaved in a manner which is offensive and foolish.That is why he is being removed from his post as parliamentary private secretary at the Department for Transport. In light of information received the prime minister has asked for a fuller investigation into the matter to be set up and to report to him.”
THE good people at Las Vegas Mannequins are making Obama dummies (?) to sell Great American goods to the Great American public. Obamaquin is made of tough fibreglass, sports militaristic cropped haircut and brown eyes that never blink.
Proud Americans can opt for “full body or just a head”. (No, still not a sex doll.) Jihadis and militant Islamists can use him instead of those raggedy effigies they burn.
The Chinese can also buy the Barack Obama mannequin and dress Obama in their own goods and then use him as a pinata filled with IOUs (but no batteries). The thing may not be made in China, but the Chinese can break him…
IN Australia, Julia Gillard is getting a pay rise. And not only her but also lots of other national MPs. Gillard will earn Aus$481,000 (US$476,000). What you British politicos want to know is how she managed it – and what you need to do to earn enough to buy duck houses and porn. Well, get into twitter and Facebook. That stuff pays big:
Julia Gillard and other federal MPs have secured a massive 32 per cent pay rise – and apparently Facebook and Twitter are to blame …
John Conde, the Remuneration Tribunal head and a long-standing advocate of higher wages for federal MPs, said the pay rise reflected the more onerous responsibilities faced by the nation’s 226 elected representatives in today’s 24/7 landscape.
“Email, Facebook, Twitter and the like have increased community expectations on members as regards their availability to their constituents,” the tribunal said.
L’escroc, which means “crook” or “swindler” in French,s what people have been calling the ex-President of France, Jacques Chirac, for years. Quite rightly too as it turns out:
The 79-year-old statesman, who was excused from court on medical grounds, was found guilty of influence peddling, breach of trust and embezzlement between 1990 and 1995, when he was mayor of the French capital.
In their ruling, judges said Chirac’s behaviour had cost Paris taxpayers the equivalent of 1.4 million euros ($1.8 million).
“Jacques Chirac breached the duty of trust that weighs on public officials charged with caring for public funds or property, in contempt of the general interest of Parisians,” the ruling said.
BARACK Obama is the fourth most effective President in US history – says Barack Obama:. The One is now The Four.
Iowahawk offers: #1, #2, and #3: John Corzine, Bernie Madoff, Ken Lay…
START those engines on Diego Garcia – Iran has reverse engineered the US RQ-170 Sentinel spy drone it captured.
Parviz Sorouri, of the Revolutionary Guard Corps, says Iran will use information gleaned to sue the United States over the “invasion”. What’s more:
“In the near future, we will be able to mass-produce it. . . . Iranian engineers will soon build an aircraft superior to the American [drone] using reverse engineering.”
Reverse engineering is the future for go-ahead Iran.
“We will hold a military manoeuvre on how to close the Strait of Hormuz soon. If the world wants to make the region insecure, we will make the world insecure.”
THE Americans’ habit of sending out Christmas cards featuring their own faces tests British cynicism. We British, for whom Christmas goodwill and warm wishes is manifest in a robin perched on a snowy log, consider such behaviour brash, showy and over-confident. We are minded of the habit by a card sent out by Mayor Jorge Santini, mayor of San Juan, Puerto Rico. For him, Christmas is all about a leopard killing a vegetarian in a promotional still for the San Juan Wildlife Museum and Rug Emporium. It’s what Jesus would have wanted.
PROOF that Rick Perry Is A Work Parody: Video 3 – The Rick Perry Sausage:
IN Moscow, thousands massed to demand the end of Vladimir Putin’s rule. They protested against vote rigging and corruption. Putin’s United Party lost a lot of seats in the recent elections, but it retains a majority.
But if not Putin, then who? Putin is no fool. The police allowed the protest to go ahead. He allowed the State broadcaster to relay images of the demo to the masses.
But if not Putin, then who. And he has his fans; and it likely they too will hold demos, bigger and noisier than the very loose alliance of opposition groups.
People stand on the bridge as they attend a mass rally to protest against alleged vote rigging in Russia's parliamentary elections in Moscow, Russia, Saturday, Dec. 10, 2011. Many thousands of Russians angered by allegedly fraudulent parliamentary elections are protesting Saturday in cities from the freezing Pacific Coast to the southwest of Russia, eight time zones away, a striking show of indignation, challenging Prime Minister Vladimir Putin's hold on power. The banner on the bridge reads: "Crooks give us the election back" (AP Photo/Ivan Sekretarev)
WHY do a higher percentage of white criminals get a Presidential parson than black ones? A ProPublica report says a white villain is four times more likely than black one get a pardon from the Chief.
An African American woman from Little Rock, fined $3,000 for underreporting her income in 1989, was denied a pardon; a white woman from the same city who faked multiple tax returns to collect more than $25,000 in refunds got one. A black, first-time drug offender — a Vietnam veteran who got probation in South Carolina for possessing 1.1 grams of crack — was turned down. A white, fourth-time drug offender who did prison time for selling 1,050 grams of methamphetamine was pardoned.
“You’ve never seen Britain say ‘no’ to a European treaty before. There was a treaty on the table, it didn’t adequately protect Britain’s interests. Instead of going along with it, I said no to it. I thought that’s my job… We were offered a treaty that didn’t have proper safeguards for Britain. I decided it was not right to sign that treaty … I decided not to sign that treaty”.
What treaty? Where is it?
ANTI-gay victim Rick Perry models his Brokeback Mountain chic: straight out of the closet – and back in again. You’ll never be alone with a Man At Perry original.
One size fits all…
MICHELE Bachmann, would-be President of the United States of America – the Great Unifier with the Franco-German name – is meeting with 8-year-old Elijah, who moves in close. Bachman selling her book, Surfing For Jesus.
Bachman can’t hear him. She says her ears are too far away. She leans over the desk.
You think he’s going to give her a kiss. You think he might puke.
But he whispers:
“Miss Bachmann, my mommy’s gay but she doesn’t need fixing.”
THIS is the powerpoint presentation - Changing perceptions of Uzbekistan: A Bell Pottinger presentation - created by Iain Overton’s Bureau of Investigative Journalism and presented to PR Firm Bell Pottinger.
Lord Bell, a former communications adviser to Margaret Thatcher, says the story is “an attempt by unethical, underhand deception to manufacture a story where none exists“.
Is the BoIJ even handed? It says:
In March 2011, Uzbekistan expelled Human Rights Watch. The US think-tank Freedom House included it in the ‘Worst of the Worst‘ list of repressive regimes in 2011. A number of years earlier, the regime had gained a reputation after allegedly boiling a religious prisoner to death, and is frequently accused of torturing people to obtain confessions.
The fake Azimov group would deal in cotton:
Uzbekistan’s cotton is the subject of an international boycott by several clothing manufacturers because the country still allegedly uses forced labour, including child labour, in its harvest.
The group adds:
The Bureau approached 10 London PR firms. Two – Morris International Associates and Ogilvy PR – declined to pitch for the business, several others never replied, while five including Bell Pottinger appeared to be prepared to accept the fictitious account.
Bell has links to the Tories. It got the meeting.
And somewhat buried in the slides is the news that Bell Pottinger said they would represent Uzbekistan if the place reformed:
If, however, the government is committed to real and lasting reform then there are many things that Bell Pottinger could do”
“… change is essential in order to change international attitudes.”
“But we must be able to show our target audiences that change has begun, that long term goals have been defined…”
“Once we have the assurance that genuine, verifiable reform is being introduced, we can put in place a communication and media strategy that tells the story of how Uzbekistan is changing for the better.”
So. Was the story presented fairly?
Iain Overton was hired by the David and Elaine Potter Foundation. The BoIJ is “supported by Sir Harold Evans, former editor of the Sunday Times; Seymour Hersh, who has been at the forefront of investigative journalism for decades; and Nick Davies, award-winning investigative reporter and author of Flat Earth News”.
The David and Elaine Potter Foundation is a charitable family foundation established in 1999 to encourage a stronger, fairer civil society. It has granted more than £10 million to registered charities in the UK and abroad.
The David and Elaine Potter Foundation supports the ideals of a rational and humane world. The Foundation seeks to achieve an impact through grants that promote reason, education, and human rights, in the hope of improving mutual understanding, reinforcing good governance, and encouraging the growth and maintenance of a robust civil society, particularly in less developed countries.
Well, they’ve stirred things up. Th question is: can the PR sockpuppets fix it?
Click her to see the presentation.
Bell Pottinger PR Disaster: Lobbying Firm Caught On Camera Boasting Of Dark Arts And Cameron Access (Transcript)
THE wonderfully named Bureau of Investigative Journalism reports that it once set up meetings with Bell Pottinger, the big PR firm. The Bureau set up as a client from Uzbekistan. The fake Azimov Group was a bunch of British and eastern European investors with ties to the Uzbekistan government.
Two meetings took place in June and July 2011. The reporters met with Tim Collins, managing director of Bell Pottinger Public Affairs, David Wilson, chairman of Bell Pottinger Public Relations, and former diplomat Sir David Richmond, who works for the firm’s “strategic communications and geopolitical” specialist arm, Bell Pottinger Sans Frontières.
The shadow Cabinet Office minister, Jon Trickett, says:
“We have been calling on the government to implement a statutory register of lobbyists. We need reform to ensure that there is no question of the rich and powerful buying access to the prime minister and his advisers.”
A Downing Street spokesman replies:
“Bell Pottinger nor any other lobbying firm has any say or influence over government policy.”
Tim Collins: “I’m Tim Collins. I was in the Conservative research department with David Cameron and George Osborne, I was later press secretary to John Major, director of communications for the Conservative Party. Then I went into Parliament, and I was in the Shadow Cabinet under two or three leaders, again with David Cameron and George Osborne, and I run the public-affairs side of the Bell Pottinger business… I’ve been working with people like Steve Hilton, David Cameron, George Osborne, for 20 years-plus.
“Edward Llewellyn, who’s the Prime Minister’s chief of staff, was my deputy in Central Office for a long time. Steve Hilton was my deputy in a different capacity. I know all these people. There is not a problem in getting the messages through to them.
“… James Arbuthnot, for example, is the chair of the Defence Select Committee. When I was an opposition whip he was a chief whip, so he and I know each other very well. Rory Stewart is a very high-profile Member of Parliament because he’s got a very strong interest in Central Asian issues; he represents the constituency that is next to mine when I was a Member of Parliament, so I know him.
“… Just as a final example just for you… I’m not saying we can always do this but just as an example of what we can sometimes do. Three weeks ago, we were rung up at 2.30 on a Friday afternoon by one of our clients, Dyson… They rang up and they said look, we’ve got a huge issue, and that is that a lot of our products are being completely ripped off in China, to the point where they’re not just completely duplicating the product… (The) Chinese government won’t take it seriously, it’s half past two on a Friday afternoon. On Saturday, the Chinese Prime Minister is coming in for a UK visit – can you please get the UK to raise it?
“… And I’m pleased to say that on the Saturday, David Cameron raised it with the Chinese Prime Minister and showed him the photos of the products. I’m not saying we can do that all the time but that is an illustration of what, if you have the right message – David Cameron, yes he was doing it for Dyson, yes he was doing it because we asked him to do it, he was doing this also because he thought this was also in the UK wider national interest. This was something where there would be a UK proper interest. But in terms of very fast turnaround and getting things done right at the top of government, if you’ve got the right message, yes, we can do it.”
David Wilson: “We had a team working in the President’s office, we wrote the President’s speech to the UN last year, which was very well received. We were writing a speech at the same time as [President Rajapaksa] was asking his foreign office to write a speech as well, and he chose to use our speech despite several attempts by the foreign office to change the tune. And it went a long way to taking the country where it needed to go. Fundamentally, though, they’ve set up something called the Peace and Reconciliation Commission, which has got one fundamental flaw in its remit in investigating what has gone on in the past, to try to bury the past, and unfortunately because that is the case, media like Channel 4 and The Times find the whole Peace and Reconciliation Commission is flawed. And it’s not flawed but it doesn’t go that extra step that it needs to go to fully embrace Western opinion or Western concern about the entire situation.
“… Some of the things we recommended weren’t taken up by the government and so we would have loved to have had a far more successful campaign. As I said to you before, we’re only as good as the collateral that we are given to work with and if a government might say it wants to change but won’t change, then sorry, that will come back and hit them. And I probably don’t need to say any more about the reputation of Sri Lanka.”
Managing reputations online
DW: “Along the wall there on the outside is a big cutting for a company called Dahabshiil, which is the biggest money-transfer business in the Horn of Africa, born and developed in Somalia. They came to us and said, can you solve my Google problem. And their problem was, while they had a very ethical business, doing things the right way and transferring 90 per cent of money going in and out of Somalia and other war-torn countries, different markets in Africa, including money for aid agencies, for the UN etc – when you looked at Google, the vast majority of the searches on the first five pages were about a former employee who was holed up in Guantanamo Bay, who had left Dahabshiil long before he was arrested. No charges had been brought against him but nonetheless he was this former Dahabshiil employee and this was the story. It took us three months, but after three months we searched down the first 10 pages of Google – you couldn’t find it within the first 10 pages.”
TC: “And where we want to get to – and this will take time, this is where David’s team are magical – is you get to the point where even if they type in ‘Uzbek child labour’ or ‘Uzbek human rights violation’, some of the first results that come up are sites talking about what you guys are doing to address and improve that, not just the critical voices saying how terrible this all is.”
REPORTER: “The President is not particularly happy with his Wikipedia entry or the Uzbek government’s Wikipedia entry. You did mention earlier that there might be ways to – would that be something that we could deal with?”
TC: “We’ve got all sorts of dark arts. I told him he couldn’t put them in the written presentation because it’s embarrassing if it gets out because he’s so good at it.”
THE attack on the British embassy in Tehran was worse than reported by the BBC. The Iranian goons who stormed the ambassador’s residential compound were armed. For three hours they held representatives of the British Council and a few other Britons at gunpoint. The Britons feared for their lives.
The state thugs only left when they received orders on their mobile phones.
All diplomats working at the Iranian embassy in London have until this afternoon to leave the UK following their expulsion by the Government.
Meanwhile, the UN’s nuclear reporters claim Iran has carried out tests “relevant to the development of a nuclear device”.
IT’S Jackboot-anory with Nick Griffin. The BNP will BNP Christmas Time – Nick Griffin tells The Nativity Story, with a cat.
It’s hard to think of a way to make the BNP look less relevant and sillier. Your suggestions, please…
ON this day of industrial action, we journey back to when the curent Secretary of State fo Education, one Michael Gove was a budding journalist (in the same class as Paul “privacy is for peados” McMullen), and on the picket line along side his National Union of Journalists brothers and sisters Aberdeen’s Press and Journal.
As Liberal Conspiracy notes, Gove went on strike for four months, his protest triggered by his employers deciding to longer recognise the NUJ.
Following are excerpts from a statement by Egyptian presidential candidate Tawfiq Okasha, the owner of Al-Faraeen, which aired on Al-Faraeen TV on October 31, 2011:
The Jews, who devised the philosophy of the American economic system, placed a pyramid and an eye on the back of the dollar bill – symbols of global Freemasonry – thus turning the dollar into a commodity. This is a commodity that encompasses the world, and monitors the state of the world.
The US has adopted an economic policy which was established and is run by Jewish economy experts, in order to subordinate this policy to the philosophy of global Freemasonry, on the basis of the notion that the economy, of the dollar, or the dinar – or food, to be precise – are what enables them to maintain their grip upon the nations.
Not all the Jews in the world are evil. You may ask: Tawfiq, what is the ratio? The ratio is 60-40. Sixty percent are evil to varying degrees, all the way to a level that words cannot describe, while 40% are not evil. They, however, are divided into three categories: One group consists of the non-evil, another group consists of the non-evil to a lesser degree, and the third group consists of the non-evil to an even lesser degree.
Might there be anyone who stands out among them? It’s very rare. Maybe one in a million. But what does this classification mean? It means that you can coexist normally with approximately 40% of the Jews – they do not betray, conspire, extort, or view others as Gentiles. They believe in the concept of Gentiles, but this belief does not affect their conduct.
What I am saying is no lie. Sarkozy is one of those Jews who adhere to the Zionist ideology, which is one of the worst ideologies… I said one of the worst, but there are worse still. This is one of the worst political ideologies, which stems from a religious belief of the Jews.
KATIA Zatuliveter, 26, is not a Russian spy. She was not told by Kremlin commanders to enter into negotiations with married Portsmouth South MP Mike Hancock, chair of the All Party Parliamentary Group on Russia and a member of the Defence Select Committee. Sure, they had a four-year affair. But she did it for love. She worked for Hancock as his parliamentary assistant.
A Special Immigration Appeals Commission has concluded that Zatuliveter is free to go.
Her diary called Hancock “my darling teddy bear“.
One diary entry of June 2006, two months after the pair met in St Petersburg, noted:
“I am in love… And he’s gone to Iraq today. I worry a lot, don’t know what to do, what to do with myself. What if he calls me? My darling Teddy Bear. There is no one more tender and more sincere than you. You are the first person in the world who is prepared to give me everything (well after my parents).”
POLITICIANS can be so touchy. When schoolgirl Emma Sullivan, 18,placed the hashtag #blowsalot on Twitter by the name of Republican governor of Kansas Samuel Dale “Sam” Brownback, the politician’s team tracked her down. She had tweeted at a Youth Government program at the state Capitol:
“Just made mean comments at gov brownback and told him he sucked, in person #heblowsalot.”
A member of Brownback’s team found the comment on Twitter. They wrote to Sullivan’s school principal. Then:
“Sullivan received a scolding at school and was ordered to send Brownback an apology letter. She said Prinicipal Karl R. Krawitz even suggested talking points for the letter she was supposed to turn in Monday.”