IS Ed Miliband real? Is he a spoof, the work of a comedy genius? Has anyone seen Sacha Baron Cohen lately? Here’s ‘Ed Miliband’ being asked to name all three candidates in the contest to become leader of the Scottish party:
YES! Politics! Don’t worry, it’s not too political. This is an article about mental people. Mental religious people specifically. Mental religious people in LA no less! Perfect.
Anyway, at a fundraiser in Los Angeles, Prez Obama was playing it cool to a bunch of supporters when the jovial atmosphere was cut in two when some nutjob started howling “one true Christian God!”, followed by the lovely “antichrist” jibe that’s been thrown Barry’s way on countless occasions.
It seems odd that the openly Christian Obama should get chided with accusations of being the antichrist, but hey ho, that’s fundamentalist American Christians for you.
The Christian man shouts:
“The Christian God is one and only true living God! The creator of heaven and the universe! Jesus Christ is God! Jesus Christ is God! Jesus Christ is still our God! Jesus Christ is still God! You are the Antichrist!”
THE Utah Undie Run aims to show the world that Utah is not all about prudes. Organiser Nate Porter want to change the conservative nature of the state’s politics by getting young people to run and to vote. Salt Lake City is the home of the Mormon church, which is no fan of gay marriage. You want change? Then vote for it. It’s a good idea. The media will follow it because people in their undies is always newsworthy…
HAPPY birthday, Secretary of State for Defence Dr Liam Fox.
We spotted you in your shiny birthday shirt and your wife Jesme flanking former Prime Minister Baroness Thatcher at Admiralty House in Whitehall. One or more of you is about to dance. One or more of you might be made of wax…
LETTER of the week is found in the pages of the Greenwich Time, the weekly paper published by Greenwich Council.
Greenwich’s Conservative leader Spencer Drury says it’s just a PR exercise for the ruling Labour Party. Cllr Drury’s complaint runs:
“In my opinion Greenwich Council continues to publish Greenwich Time in an effort to influence the opinions of people in favour of the Labour Council. It makes no attempt to offer an alternative view on even the most controversial issues. In my opinion Labour justifies GT with a fig leaf of financial jiggery-pokery.”
“Greenwich remains a one party state with its own ‘pravda’. It is a disgrace in a modern democracy that this sort of propaganda is allowed to flourish at the expense of other local papers and subsidised by unsuspecting taxpayers.”
IT’S election time in Bahrain, friend to the UK, haven of human rights, home to the US’s Navy’s Fifth Fleet and venue of a failed Iran-approved Arab spring. The elections do not feature Bahrain’s main opposition party, the Wefaq, which boycotted the elections held to fill 18 parliamentary seats its members vacated after the protests and the Government’s crack down. (The country only has a 40-member Parliament.)
WHAT is the defining image of the protests against Egypt’s President Mubarak? It is the photos of the Christians and Muslims united for their country? Is it the photos of the camel rider breaking heads in Tahrir Square? Is it the broken heads? The marketing? What about the protest signs? And can anyone forget Glenn Beck’s magnets? Or is it one of these photos of the homemade helmets worn by anti-Mubarak campaigners?
IN the dock at Westminster Magistrates’ Court, former Labour MP for Luton South Margaret Moran sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. She is accused of making £80,000 of fraudulent expenses claims in 21 charges.
The 56-year-old entered no plea. She left the court on unconditional bail to appear at London’s Southwark Crown Court on October 28.
Moran is charged with 15 counts of false accounting and six of forgery.
NICHOLAS Robinson was handed a 6 months’ prison sentence for rioting. He admitted to being “ashamed of his actions“. The water retails at £3.50. Anderson Fernandes, 21, stole two scoops of ice-cream in a cone and handling a stolen vacuum cleaner. He was given a 16-months prison sentence.
Around that time, Lord Hanningfield was relieved from prison, where he served 9 week of a 9 months sentence for nicking £14,000 in a a fraudulent parliamentary expenses. Says Hanningfield: “I did nothing wrong.”
This kind of thing is rife (do write in with your own examples or money in low places):
COUNCIL chief executive Steve Robinson received an extra £13,000 for acting as returning officer at last year’s General Election, despite a fiasco which saw voters denied their right to vote… The council’s accounts show Mr Robinson’s benefits in kind, including his car allowance, rose from £1,000 to £2,000 last year and his employer’s pension contribution rose from £37,000 to £40,000 resulting in an overall £17,000 rise in his financial package of £235,000 compared to the previous year. - Ellesmere Port Pioneer
SIR John Mcleod Scarlett is on the board of Times Newspapers Ltd, part of News International. He’s held the post since January. Before that he was Director General of the British Secret Intelligence Service – MI6 – and chair of the Cabinet Office Joint Intelligence Committee.
He drew up the dodgy dossier of September 2002. In 2009, the spy told the Iraq war inquiry that the dodgy dossier that suggested that Saddam Hussein’s Weapons of Mass Destruction could be unleashed within 45 minutes was produced with ”no conscious intention” to mislead Westminster and the people:
“There was absolutely no conscious intention to manipulate the language or to obfuscate or to create a misunderstanding as to what this might refer to.”
REASONS For The Riots: “Riots ‘were price middle class paid for ignoring poor’”
So. The middle classes were the the ones hit worse in the riots? As re well, as Tony Blair, claimed middle-class now? Are the people who had their home burnt to the ground in Tottenham middle-class? R the three men who died in Birmingham middle class? Was Marc Duggan middle-class?Laura Johnson is middle-class. What drove her to pop out on the night of the riots?
Jill Sherman Whitehall Editor tries to explain the Times’ stupid headline:
The middle classes have ignored the plight of those living on grim council estates and paid the price “when the inner city finally came to call” last month, Iain Duncan Smith says today.
GEORGE Osborne is GQ’s Politician of The Year. He writes his own jokes:
“I’m not sure who actually reads the politics pages of GQ magazine. I suspect they are the only pages that a teenage boy hasn’t stuck together in reading the magazine. Some might say that’s because the wankers are on the page rather than reading them.”
ABC has new on phone hacking, George Osborne and a prostitute. Rachael Brown writes:
Of all the mysteries surrounding the British phone hacking scandal, it is the claims from a dominatrix linking Britain’s now chancellor George Osborne to drug use, prostitution and political subterfuge that may be the most intriguing.
Where is the News of The World when you need it, eh?
Mr Osborne, 41, is a close friend of prime minister David Cameron from university and is currently Britain’s chancellor of the exchequer. He lives next door to Mr Cameron at 11 Downing Street.
You’ve got to like the “lives next door” part. It’s the well-appointed company house. Brown is over-egging her pudding. She also mentions the part that Osbourne is a former member of the Bullingdon Club, the pot-smoking, pot-tossing, rabble rousers whose graduates include shagging London Mayor Boris Johnson and reformed illegal cannabis puffer Prime Minister David Cameron.
We meet Natalie Rowe, “former madam of the Black Beauties escort agency“. She is also known as Jennifer Shackleton, “Miss Whiplash” or “Mistress Pain”.
Her boyfriend at the time was William Sinclair – a friend of Mr Osborne, and the descendent of one of the biggest landowners in the UK. The pair were members of Oxford University’s Bullingdon Club…
SIR David Scholey CBE has shot a lion dead while on a “trophy-hunting” holiday in Zambia. Sir David is a former director of the Bank of England, BT, Close Brothers, Anglo American, Vodafone, Chubb, SG Warburg, J Sainsbury, a BBC governor and a Tory Party donor.
Says he to the Sun:
“I have been hunting all over the world for many, many years and I have always hunted within the legal arrangements of the country concerned. I regard that as an entirely personal matter. All the animals I hunt are wild beasts. And I have felt threatened by them at times. The lion killed certainly wasn’t an endangered species where I was hunting it.”
SOMALIA really is the land of opportunity. Mohamed Ibrahim, 64, a support teacher at the Newman Catholic College in Brent, north London, is now the deputy prime minister of Somalia.
He leaves behind a farewell email:
“I was unexpectedly called to my country during the summer holidays at a time when the country is facing a humanitarian crisis such as drought and famine. I will always have Newman Catholic College in my heart and won’t forget the wonderful colleagues.”
SAM Nickel is on a mission to grope 1000 women’s breasts. It is not for his personal gratification – well, not only for that – it is to help Vladimir Putin get elected. The aim of the game is that Nickel will touch the breasts and then touch Putin. The power of 1000 bosoms will be zapped into Putin. Women have been stripping and stripping for Putin. Now a priapic man with a moist touch and an adolescent dream in his knickers and do his bit
LEMBIT Opik will not be the Lib Dems’ candidate for the post of London Mayoral at the next election. He lost to former I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here agonist Brian Paddick. Opik, a former MP and former would-be Mr Cheeky girl, reportedly reacted to his blow by telling one and all:
“I think like every great politician you have to have some wilderness years. Nelson Mandela had them.”
WANT to know why we don’t trust politicians and biased newspapers? Well, on September 11, 2007, The Daily Telegraph’s Toby Helm told readers:
David Cameron plans to force EU referendum – David Cameron is planning a Parliamentary ambush over the new EU treaty in an attempt to force Gordon Brown to grant the British people a referendum.
Four years on and after a general election that sees David Cameron installed as Prime Minsters, we learn:
“I want us to be influential in Europe about the things that matter to our national interest – promoting the single market, pushing forward for growth, making sure we get lower energy prices. “Those are things we will be fighting for but I don’t see the case for an in out referendum on Europe. We are in Europe, we have got to make it work for us.”
COLONEL Moammar Gaddafi is not dead. He says he and his forces will fight a guerilla war. Is he now the rebel? All around Tripoli and other parts of Libya no longer under his control graffiti festoons the walls. The message is simple: Gaddafi is a monkey-skinned, Nazi, rat, bald-headed Jew. Well, so says the fascists who have overthrown the nutcase. We’ve compiled a gallery of the graffiti. What’s your favourite..?
In this Tuesday, July 5, 2011 photo, a caricature of Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi seen on the wall in the rebel-held Benghazi, Libya, Tuesday, July 5, 2011. The graffiti, in Arabic, reads, "the people have spoken," and "dedicated to the February 7 youth." Moammar Gadhafi is loved in Libya's rebel capital _ as a subject for street artists to mock. Caricatures of the embattled Libyan leader dot walls and buildings across Benghazi in renderings that range from crude sketches to elaborate satire such as Gadhafi being knocked around by a rebel-colored boot or depicted with a Nazi swastika. (AP Photo/Sergey Ponomarev)
But either the news of the arrival of foreigners travels fast, or the excitement of the chebabs escorting us, who are also shooting bi-tube rounds in our honor, attracts attention; people start flooding into the square, more and more of them, brandishing their weapons toward the sky and joining in the scene. I improvise a few words: “A great day…the beauty of the liberation of a city by its own…images of the liberation of Paris…Libya in your hands…no exactions, nor vengeance….”
The young people cry “Allah Akbar”—I reply, “Libya Hora.”
They cheer for France, I salute the Libyan spring…
South Africa's Oscar Pistorius, right, and USA''s Greg Nixon compete in the Men's 400m semifinal at the World Athletics Championships in Daegu, South Korea, Monday, Aug. 29, 2011. (AP Photo/David J. Phillip)