Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air
VLADIMIR Putin was at a mixed martial arts event in Russia to meet his doppelganger. It was a bit like watching Vlad meet his champion, albeit one carrying a bit of timber and wearing – and this pains us – bikini briefs. You can tell a lot about the calibre of a man by his underwear, and Fighting Putin wears wide-rimmed stretchers – but, blessedly, no man bra. Had he worn a vest tucked smartly into his paisley Y-fronts the crowd would have cheered.
Also, why not use other wrestlers who look like political leaders in Summit Smack Downs? Mick McManus is overdue a return to the ring, and he wore the look of a middle-aged Silvio Berlusconi when a lad (see image below).
Wrestling and politics has a long and lively history, although it has not recovered from the loss of Boris ‘Big Daddy’ Yeltsin, who died in 1997.
ITALY is on its knees at the moment after the terrible administration of Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. Sure, he may have stepped down, but that doesn’t mean he’s going away. Of course he isn’t. That man couldn’t stay away from the limelight if he was a black hole.
So, in an attempt to forget about allegations of corruption and having sex with underage prostitutes (allegedly, okay watching lawyers?), he’s focusing on ‘True Love‘, which is the name of his new album.
Silvio released the LP yesterday and it’s his fourth with guitarist and former parking attendant Mariano Apicella. He was going to get it on the shelves (and ready for the 9p bin) in September but was a little delayed by Italy sliding into the sea with the weight of its own debt.
POLITICS is so dull in the UK. Men in drab suits shout while women with bad hair all boo at admin. The most excitement we’ve had is when Bryan Ferry’s posho offspring lobbed some coloured powder around and that wasn’t particularly fun at all.
However, over in South Korea, they’re much better at firing things up. One Korean MP decided that he’d use tear gas powder against the parliament’s deputy speaker in the hope that he’d block ratification of a key trade deal with the US.
SO, Russian newsreader Tatiana Limanova, what do you think of Barack Obama?
REPUBLICAN presidential candidate Herman Cain is talking to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, editorial board on the matter of Barack Obama handling of Colonel Gaddafi in Libya. Of course, Cain would bomb all countries ending in ‘stan.
“OK, Libya. President Obama supported the uprising, correct?
“President Obama called for the removal of Gaddafi. Just want to make sure we’re talking about the same thing before I say, ‘yes I agree,’ or ‘no I didn’t agree.’ I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason – nope, that’s a different one. I gotta go back to, see … Got all this stuff twirling around in my head. Specifically, what are you asking me, did I agree or not disagree with Obama on?…
“Some people say as president you’re supposed to know everything. No you don’t. I believe in having all the information, as much of it as I possibly can, rather than making a decision or statement about whether I totally agree or disagree when I wasn’t privy to the situation.”
CHELSEA Clinton, daughter to Bill and Hillary Clinton, is now working as a special correspondent for American television network NBC News. She also sits on the board of IAC, the web firm that owns Match.com (for dad) and The Daily Beast (mom).
Also working at NBC and MSNBC are Jenna Bush Hager, George W. Bush’s daughter, and Meghan McCain, daughter of former Republican presidential nominee John McCain, respectively.
This is how the elite work – the SADOS (Sons and daughters of stars) – get the easiest, most delicious jobs. They do not watch Dr Who and dream of meeting a star. They are already in the TARDIS.
Jobbing hacks look on with delightful bitterness:
Glenn Thrush: “In ’08, Chelsea Clinton (in NH) told me ‘Sorry, I don’t talk to the media.’ I said, ‘But you are all grown up now.’ Now she IS the media.”
“IF you look at China, they don’t have food stamps. They don’t have the modern welfare state, and China’s growing. And so what I would do is look at the programs that LBJ gave us with the Great Society and they’d be gone,” - Michele Bachmann, would-be President of the US who wears her Christianity on her sleeve…
WHY did Silvio Berlusconi resign? Because the EU is a dictaorship. John Laughland, the Director of studies at the Paris Institute of democracy and cooperation, takes a view:
WHEN Nicolas Sarkozy and Barack Obama discussed Israel’s Prime Minister, Binyamin Netanyahu, the French leader called him a “liar,” Mr Sarkozy and the Us President replied: “You may be sick of him, but me, I have to deal with him every day”, the Times leaders opined:
Israel has existential worries, and understandably feels sometimes that it can rely only on itself. But this “ourselves alone” mentality has become distorted under Mr Netanyahu into what might be called “Millwall diplomacy”, after the famously belligerent soccer fans whose slogan became “no-one likes us, we don’t care”.
Can the world of international diplomacy be reduced to football slogans? Let’s see:
It’s all about modern methods of killing animals being better, say the Dutch. Rather than being bled to death or having their necks wrung, animals these days are sung to death and then when asleep kicked in the head by teenagers on tag.
Some, however, see the ban in the context of European history.
The long-awaited report relies on evidence whose scope and depth is far greater than any the agency has made public before, andrepresents the harshest judgment that the International Atomic Energy Agency has ever issued in its decade-long struggle to pierce the secrecy surrounding the Iranian program . . .
The report offered no estimate of how long it would take for Iran to be able to produce a nuclear weapon. But it laid out the case that Iran had moved far beyond the blackboard to create computer models of nuclear explosions in 2008 and 2009 and conducted experiments on nuclear triggers. The report said that starting in 2000, the Iranians constructed a vessel to conduct those tests, which was not shown to inspectors who visited the site five years later.
Those tests “are strong indicators of possible weapon development,” it said.
Reuters/JPost says hard UN sanctions are still unlikely. It’s all about the skewed voting system…
WHAT would you get Silvio Berlusconi as a retirement gift?
AT the G20 conference in Cannes, French president Sarkozy says, “I cannot stand him [Israeli premier Benjamin Netanyahu] He is a liar.” Barack Obama leaps to the defence of the leader of his country’s one ally in a region not in favour of the United States and replies: “You’re fed up with him? I have to deal with him every day!”
Who needs Wikileaks for bitchy political gossip when you have open mic night?
Herman Cain: Sharon Bialek Republican Is The Dream Kennedy-Bush-Clinton-Obama-Tiger Woods Interracial Sex Pest (Allegedly)
HERMAN Cain might be the Republican Party’s Presidential candidate. Right now he looks like the Right’s dream blend of Obama’s skin tones, Bill Clinton’s love of skin and George Dubya Bush’s view of the world. Sharon Bialek has accused Cain of sexual harassment more than a decade ago. She says Cain behaved inappropriately while he was CEO of the National Restaurant Association. She’s hired Gloria Allred as her rep. That’s the same woman who gunned for Tiger Woods.
Cain can yak all he wants about how he’s not going to talk about this stuff anymore, but that’s all anybody is going to talk about until and unless he firmly and convincingly rebuts this stuff. This drip-drip-drip is going to kill his campaign. I’d say it’s probably dead anyway.
Said New Democratic Party MP Pat Martin. ”
“Polar bears are cool but the beaver played a pivotal role in the history of Canada. It was the relentless pursuit of beaver that opened the great Northwest.”
THE British National Party’s annual conference was in Liverpool. MEP Nick Griffin praised a “hard core” delegates for attending the conference. There were about 70 people at the Wavertree Cricket Club. There wer about 30 protestors outside.
The BBC notes:
The delegates backed a motion supporting quantitative easing.
Of course, Tasmania, like Australia, does not have a president…yet.
Are you Aussies ready for President Gillard?
“I urge the self-appointed protesters to clear the site voluntarily”
Mike Pollitt, self-appointed repsonder, responds:
Only Sarah Ferguson Can Stop Julia Gillard From Replacing The Royal Family As Australia’s Head Of State
AUSTRALIAN Prime Minister Julia Gillard is for making her country a Republic. Maybe President Julia can handle the job of representing her nation to the world?
Prime Minister Julia Gillard yesterday offered one of the weirder, and saucier, greetings in modern diplomacy when she met New Zealand’s Foreign Minister, Murray McCully (right), at the official opening of CHOGM.
‘’You got an apple in your pocket?’’ she said as she met Mr McCully in the greeting line. Mr McCully looked slightly thunderstruck and Ms Gillard giggled.
‘’I’m teasing you,’’ she said.
Human rights groups have criticised Kazakhstan for its control of the media and it has never held an election judged to be free and fair by international observers. October 25, 2011
Tony Blair, the former Prime Minister, is helping the controversial government of Kazakhstan to improve its standing in the West….
Diplomatic cables sent from the Kazakh capital, Astana, and published by WikiLeaks accused the country’s politicians of widespread corruption, saying: “Corruption is endemic among Kazakhstani officialdom.”
The US cables also report: “Severe limits on ability to change their government; detainee and prisoner torture and other abuse; unhealthy prisoner conditions; arbitrary arrest and detention; lack of an independent judiciary; restrictions on freedom of speech; pervasive corruption, especially in law enforcement and the judicial system; discrimination and violence against women; trafficking in persons.” – October 23, 2011
Tony Blair may have lost one dictator friend with the death of Colonel Muammar Gaddafi. But he need not despair. He has found another autocrat to do business with in the guise of Nursultan Nazarbayev, the president of oil-rich Kazakhstan. – October 22, 2011
So when Colonel Gaddafi got his body killed until the brains died, everyone laughed, wrung their hands and spat at the front covers of newspapers featuring his cadaver. Which did look a bit like Gene Simmons in a Shalamar wig in fairness. It’s hard not to make jokes when faced with that.
Either way, no matter how quick you thought you were with your wheezes, someone beat you to it by decades.
The BBC reports on goings on in Philadelphia’s Ben Franklin Hall, where American and British lawyers have been looking at the legality of the documents that cemented America.
On July 4, 1776, Thomas Jefferson and cohorts declared that they were going it alone.
But the debate says The Declaration of Independence is illegitimate and illegal. On one side of the spat is the Temple American Inn of Court. On the other is Gray’s Inn, London. It’s the Lawyer v Lawyer smack down. It’s the American superego versus the British self-depracating sneer of superiority.
Say the Americans:
“The English had used their own Declaration of Rights to depose James II and these acts were deemed completely lawful and justified.
Hancock yesterday quit the Commons Defence Committee. He says he never passed on classified information to his researcher Katia.
The court called a female MI5 officer known as witness ZZ. She sat behind a curtain. No, not an iron one, rather one made of cotton.
She is challenged by Tim Owen QC, for Miss Zatuliveter. The name of Anna Chapman arises:
ZZ: “The security services case is there are similarities but not by any means the same.”
Owen: “The difference is the FBI has got some evidence. Yes?”
KATIA Zatuliveter, 26, ala Ekaterina, says that she did indeed have a affair with allegedly philandering Mike Hancock, the married LibDem MP for Portsmouth South. She also had, reportedly, “flirtations” with a Nato wonk and a Dutch diplomat.
She is accused of being a Russian spy. The British Government want to deport her. She is fighting their right to do so. She says the Government has got it wrong. She sayss he is no spy. Mike Hancock says he passed on no secrets. Katia has been making her case to the panel sitting on the Special Immigration Appeals Commission.
Katia was 21 and a student at St Petersburg University when she met Mr Hancock. She was invited to “chaperone” him round the city. On day one, she tells the group:
“He told me he wanted to sleep with me. He went up to his room and he brought a CD and some money… He made it very clear from the beginning he was interested in me. He tried to kiss me. He was very charming during this time. I was not getting much attention from men during this period.”
MITT Romney gets the bad lip reading treatment: