Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air
IN 5 years the Greek economy has shrunk 23%. Some Greeks believe the country is in the thrall of Germany. So. When German Chancellor Angela Merkel arrived in Athens today, demonstrators shouted slogans, dressed as German World War II soldiers with Nazi swastika armbands, called her a Nazi, compared her to Hitler, and as Merkel’s private plane landed at Eleftherios Venizelos airport the Greek military band struck up that German national anthem (“Germany, Germany above everything”). The past is never far away…
A protestor holds a banner with the picture of the German Chancellor Angela Merkel that reads "wanted" and "war compensations" during a protest in Athens on Tuesday Oct. 9, 2012. German Chancellor Angela Merkel makes her first visit to Greece since the eurozone crisis began here three years ago. Her five-hour stop is seen by the government as a historic boost for the country's future in Europe's shared currency, but by protesters as a harbinger of more austerity and hardship. More than 7,000 police will be on hand, cordoning off parks and other sections of central Athens, to keep demonstrators away from the German leader who is due to arrive today in the Greek capital for talks with conservative Prime Minister Antonis Samaras. . (AP Photo/Lefteris Pitarakis)
HOW do you get a job on the US House of Representatives science committee, like Todd Akin, he of the rape-activated Portcullis anti-birth womb, and Paul Broun, a medial doctor and expert in Bible science? Broun, who occupies a seat in Georgia, says evolution and big bang theory are “lies straight from the pit hell”. Broun was speaking “as a scientist”.
POLITICIANS are all slimy swine and no question, but over in Australia, they’re showing us all exactly we should hand them a smackdown. PM Julia Gillard (who once said “screw you!” to US Congress, so she’s not a woman to be trifled with) went to town on an MP called Peter Slipper.
Now, Peter Slipper is an ordained priest, has been accused of sexually harassing a gay man and is thought to have been rather ‘creative’ with his expenses. However, he’s now at the centre of a storm where he’s had his arse royally handed to him… AND THERE’S A VIDEO OF IT! Slipper referred to another MP as ‘an ignorant bitch’, amongst other comments.
WHEN the war with Iran comes, it will be won from the air. The US and her allies will have jets, bombers and space; the Iranians will have photoshop and a way to entertain the Heavens that Busby Berkeley would have loved, had he been a racist nutter with an itchy beard:
1. The yellows, whites and greens run into the blues, greys and reds without mixing. Mums faced with piles of dirty laundry get the message. These colours don’t run:
CONTROVERSIAL film director Joel Gilbert – a longstanding critic of Barak Obama – complained recently that his ‘alternative biography’ of the President, ‘Dreams From My Real Father’, had been deliberately ignored by the mainstream media (see video below).
So, with little surprise, the Vatican is acting like primitive, brutal arsehats over the Pope’s butler who has been accused of stealing some of Benny the Pontiff’s letters.
“We demand measures to ameliorate the toll that excessive drinking takes on society, including 1) Long-term outright ban on the sale of alcohol in outlets including supermarkets and garages; 2) Ban on the presentation and sale of alcohol alongside groceries; 3) Ban on home deliveries of alcohol, advertising on discounted alcohol and advertising of alcohol on social networking sites; 4) Introduction of a 9pm watershed for alcohol advertising on TV; 5) Ending of VAT refunds on alcohol sold below cost.”
BARACK Obama went on the David Letterman show. So Did David Cameron. The Prime Minister came away looking like a man imbued with all the gravitas or a welk and the sharpness of a blunt tool:
I APPLAUD the Sun’s attempt to educate the Prime Minister David Cameron on British history after his lamentable, red-faced performance on David Letterman’s chat show. The paper prints 20 facts that may be news to the Old Etonian. Alas, we have only to get to fact 2 to spot a howler. ‘Roman Emperor Julius Caesar didn’t conquer Britain…’ it starts. JC was never emperor, not even king. At best he was dictator for life. The first Roman emperor was the later Octavian aka Augustus.
WHEN quizzed about Britain on the David Letterman show, David Cameron was apparently unable to give the meaning of the words Magna Carta. We say “apparently” because Boris Johnson, who might of course have his own agenda here, suggested that the Prime Minister knew perfectly well what it meant, but feigned ignorance in order to give the impression that he is just a regular, down-to-earth kinda guy.
Really? Why, yes. I read it on The Onion.
WHEN Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu,showed the UN and world what the Iranian nuclear bomb would look like, we realised that armageddon might be funny:
A VOTE for Barack Obama is a vite for swearing:
THANKS to Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel, we all get to meet nuclear war with a wide grin and a titter. First one to blink, get the drinks…
Photos: Netanyahu show an illustration as he describes his concerns over Iran’s nuclear ambitions during his address to the 67th session of the United Nations General Assembly at U.N. headquarters Thursday, Sept. 27, 2012.
IT is a sorry state of affairs when people have to point out when they’re using irony. And Madonna, a notorious sarcastic ol’ thing, has had to do exactly that after everyone got jumpy about her calling Barack Obama a “black Muslim” during a show in Washington
A video shows Madge saying: “Now, it’s so amazing and incredible to think that we have an African-American in the White House … we have a black Muslim in the White House … it means there is hope in this country, and Obama is fighting for gay rights, so support the man!”
Cue a pointless furore, to which Madonna (who we’re legally obliged to refer to as ‘The Material Girl’ at some point in this article) responded:
“I was being ironic on stage. Yes, I know Obama is not a Muslim – though I know that plenty of people in this country think he is. And what if he were? The point I was making is that a good man is a good man, no matter who he prays to. I don’t care what religion Obama is – nor should anyone else in America.”
ANDREW Mitchell, the Government’s Chief Whip, and his bicycle are now a song. It is NSFW. It is also repetitive, which kind of makes it work:
THE Sun has been leading with news of Andrew Mitchell, the Chief Whip accused of calling a policeman a “fucking pleb” after a policeman told him he could nto ride his bicycle through the main gates on Downing Street. The front-page headlines so far:
September 26: “Plebs minister blags a Jaguar – he “demanded a limo” for the “200-yard commute from his Downing Street office to the Commons”
September 25: “Now cop ‘pleb’ row minister claims outburst came after ‘a long and frustrating day.’ Presumably this included his gruelling lunchtime sesh at UK’s poshest curry house. It’s SPINDALOO”…
September 24: “Plebs Row: The Offical Report”
September 23: “On yer bike – Gate rant at woman PC”
September 21: “Cabinet Minister: Police are plebs”
No other story is more important to the Sun than this one.
THIS is what the police officer who says Andrew Mitchell called a pleb wrote in their police log.
NICK Clegg has been on the Andrew Marr show. Says Clegg:
“This is part and parcel of something which I think most people agree with, which is that as we fill in the black hole in the public finances we have also got to make sure that we do not put Humpty Dumpty back together again and make the same mistakes, that we rewire the British economy and make it fairer and give people more opportunities.”
MITT Romney has been texting – in secret quite rooms:
MITT Romney’s campaign for the US Presidency is been damaged by a gaffe. Sure, it was an effort to look honest. But Romney’s criticism of the poor was caught on tape. He said 47% of Americans think of themselves as victims. He said: “[My] job is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.”
Mitt Romney’s father was George Romney. He might have been president. But then he gaffed. George Romney, governor of Michigan said the right things that might have united a nation:
“Michigan’s most urgent human rights problem is racial discrimination — in housing, public accommodation, education, administration of justice and employment….It was only after I got to Detroit that I got to know Negroes and began to be able to evaluate them, and I began to recognise that some Negroes are better and more capable than lots of whites.”
TO Pakistan, where to celebrate the government-declared “special day of love” for the Prophet Muhammad a man has been murdered in the northern city of Peshawar, celebrants have been much ranting and shouting at pigeons, and Baarck Obama has been turned into a traditional pin-striped Guy by those Bonfire Night enthusiasts and turned into a beacon of love.
Remember, remember the 19th of September…
BELGIUM’S Green Party is magic. Truly. In this group photo, you can see that with a bean-rich diet, legs need not be barrier to height. The Green Party stands for transparency and truth in all things…
WHAT news of Rick Perry – he who told us how the US patriots saw off the Tudors & Stuarts – the brave, white Christian male in the Brokeback Mountain jacket holding a big sausage who might have been President of the USA?
“There’s no easy way to say this. We made a pledge. We didn’t stick to it, and for that I am sorry.”