Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air
LONDON 2012 Olympics was a great event for London mayor Boris Johnson. When Johnson, the great loose trouser zipper, was left hanging in mid-air after he got stuck on a zipwire at an Olympic event at Victoria Park, he took it with good grace and a laugh. Eat yer heat out Benito Mussolini, this is how we off our leaders, with a flag in each of their hands and a song on their lips.
Bozza was the high-flyer, every clap and quip showing us what we are missing in Prime Minister David Cameron, the dish-faced Jonah in his Olympic tracksuit, teaching us that it’s not the winning that counts, it’s taking the credit for the winning.
HAIL to the Gaffer. Mitt Romney has introduced his VeePee running mate Paul Ryan asthe “next President of the United States.”
Ryan, a pro-life Catholic working out of Wisconsin, may be tempted to scream “ABORT!”
DAVID Cameron does porridge on a visit to the Quaker Oats plant:
SIX people have been murdered at a Sikh temple slayings in Wisconsin. Barack Obama reacts:
Obama told reporters in the Oval Office that Americans would ‘‘recoil’’ at the violence if the victims’ ethnicity turns out to be have been a factor in the shootings.
That’s a bit of an odd comment, isn’t it?
DAVID Cameron out-twats even himself. The Prime Minister has been meeting Ben Ainslie and watching the Olympics dressed in an official Team GB tracksuit. We are all in this together…
JEREMY Hunt, the culture secretary, has met with Rupert Murdoch. at the London 2012 Olympics.
We have “much better weather than they think,” he said, announcing the Government’s “Great” advertising campaign in 14 cities across the world. “We have lower rainfall than Paris. We have to make sure people understand the reality about the weather.” He added: “It is not always as hot as New York but much more pleasant. Come and get a suntan in St James’s Park — you’ll find that it is much more pleasant than a crowded beach on the Med.”
The St James’s Park tanning booths are now open…
The trial of Pussy Riot has begun. The band laughably charged with “hooliganism motivated by religious hatred” – they sang an anti-Putin song at Moscow’s Christ the Saviour Cathedral (“Mother of God, Blessed Virgin, drive out Putin!”) – face seven years in prison.
THEY came to discuss faith with the former vicar of Westminster, Tony Blair. This was the Westminster Faith Debate, in Westminster, central London. Blair, labelled the “devil” buy one protester in the know, shared the stage with the Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams and Charles Moore. An Anglican and two converts to Roman Catholicism would debate faith before a live studio audience. No Islam, Judaism, Sikhism, less proscribed and right-on brands of Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism and lots of other isms.
WHEN Mitt Romney belted out America the Beautiful for the inmates at a retirement village in Florida in January 2012, Camp Obama got the footage and made it into a campaign advert.
When the elected elite sing, disaster often looms:
PS – Romney says the facts stated in the ad are wrong. The singing, however, is all his own work. And isn’t the something likeable about Romney being a rotten singer?
IT’S a good job Europe is united and looking to a rosy-fingered daw, otherwise you might suppose the sight to German chancellor Angela Merkel sporting a moustache on Holland’s Nos television’s six o’clock news made her look like Hitler.
The programme assures us that the matter was a pure accident caused by graphics causing a black line to overlap part of Merkel’s top lip.
In any case, it suits her. The moustache invests her with power…
‘It was an unfortunate coincidence,’ editor in chief Marcel Gelauff said after the show.
The tune begins as a answer to Go West before slipping into hectoring offcuts from Richard Rodgers Oscar Hammerstein’s Oklahoma. Onwards Towards Final Victory!
And on they go. And on.
Victory seems a hell of a long way off as the brass section compels you to move on and on and on. But as you move the music seems only to get louder. No quarter is given.
TO Jordan, where Mohammed Shawabka MP is debating stuff with Mansour Sayf al-Din Murad, a former MP and cheerleader for Syria’s President Assad. Shawabka says Murad is “an agent of Syria”. Murad says Shawabka is “an agent of the Israeli Mossad”.
Offender, Shawabka tosses one of his shoes at Murad. He then pulls a gun.
“In the Bob Hope Golf Classic, the participation of President Gerald Ford was more than enough to remind you that the nuclear button was at one stage at the disposal of a man who might have either pressed it by mistake or else pressed it deliberately in order to obtain room service.”
“Oh, what a contrast, my friends, between these two men who would be president! President Obama is betting on America and American workers, and Mitt Romney is betting his resources in the Cayman Islands, in Bermuda, in Switzerland and God only knows where else he is putting his resources” – Ohio governor Ted Strickland speaking truth to powerful Barack Obama today.
Meanwhile, most of America is investing its money on the Mega Millions lottery.
MP Craig Emerson, the Australian Minister for Trade and Competitiveness, is dancing to the Greens’ tune. Emerson is expressing his thought on his party’s carbon tax through the medium of dance.
As Emerson dances for ABC News in an illustration of the impact of a carbon tax on the South Australian mining town of Whyalla, we wonder if this might catch on? David Cameron could do a breakdance to illustrate criem figures, or broken dance, as he would term it; for Ed Balls it’s The Hustle; Geroge Osborne can do his (alleged) line dance; and so on….
Her’e Emerson. Someone plug him into the National Grid. Set the arms to ‘Windmill’:
Earlier on Sunday, presidential assistant Nafie Ali Nafie was quoted as blaming the unrest on a conspiracy to provoke an “economic earthquake” in Sudan.
“Zionist institutions inside the United States and elsewhere … are exploiting the latest economic decisions to destabilize the security and political situation,” the state-linked Sudanese Media Center quoted him as saying.”
Nafie said the government had evidence of collusion between rebel groups in Darfur, politicians in arch-foe South Sudan and Zionist institutions in the United States to sabotage Sudan. He did not present the evidence.
HOW will you be celebrating Nelson Mandela’s 94th birthday? Once upon a time, before Burma’s pro-democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi was released from house arrest and became the West’s go-to face for democracy cheerleading, any celebrity worth their salt was shaking Mandeal’s hand, or stood in his downstairs hallway waiting to shake his hand.
This year will be different. This year you can get the Mandela look as a fashion range “inspired” by the South African President.
WORKING for a Government that can’t do maths must be tiresome for Education Secretary Michael Gove. You are trying to prove to the country that hard work and basic numeracy get you to the top whilst being ordered about by Fruit Ninja champion and former pothead David Cameron. The Tories love to tell you that competition matters, whilst bagging all the best jobs by dint of birth and access to cash and favours.
So. Here’s Gove’s wife, Sarah Vine, telling Times readers that she co-opted her au pair into running the mummies race at her children’s school sports day. It is not beyond parody, but it comes close. She reveals,“I met my husband on a skiing trip in Meribel (or Merryhell, as we liked to call it)” and that she admires “his ability to know when he was beaten.”
CHLOE Smith MP presents the 10 worst TV political interviews of all time:
BILL Clinton and George Dubya Bush will now read their autocues: “We Could Float On My Dream Shuffler”…
ZOMBIE CANNIBALS are about to run legal in Barack Obama’s Chicago. The city has voted to decriminalise minor marijuana possession. Possessing cannabis is illegal. Now, however, owner will get a fine. Chicago joins Seattle, Pittsburgh and Philadelphia is approaching sense.
We’re still not there yet, though. The decision to fine and by how much will be left to the Chicago police service. Get caught holding less than 15g of weed and expect a fine ranging from $250 to $500.
The move was brought by Barack Obama’s old Chief of Staff mayor Rahm Emanuel. He was aided by Chicago police superintendent, Gary McCarthy, who said most of the 20,000 yearly arrests of marijuana possession create criminal cases that are dropped. This new way frees up police time to chase actual criminals and count all that money from fines, an estimated $7m.
So. As Chicago finds a legal way to tax illegal marijuana, we look at President Obama. Did he inhale?
TONY Blair is back for another stint as the London Evening Standard’s guest editor. So tweets Evgeny Lebedev, owner of The Independent titles and London Evening Standard.
You and the Iraqis may recall Tony’s last effort editor the paper, of September 24, 2002:
LIFE mirrors Viz: Finbarr Saunders exists, and he’s standing for elected office on Knoxville City Council (Warf!). Says Finbarr, a teacher at Oak Ridge Schools (Burble!):
Knoxville is an exciting place and getting better every day.
The Biscuit Festival, Dogwood Arts, the Farmers’ Market, First Friday, Mardi Growl, Rossini Festival, Hola, Shakespeare on the Square — there’s something happening all the time in Knoxville.
MINTED Cherie Blair and Nancy Dell’Olio spent the day herding goats across London Bridge. This was, it says here, to raise awareness for International Widows day. The goat herding was arranged by Lord Loomba’s Loomba Foundation, which attests that the goat is a life-line for many widows in South Asia and Africa. Lord Loomba is a Freeman of the City of London, giving him the right to herd livestock over the bridge.
This is Cherie who advised women recently:
“One of the things that worries me now is you see young women who say: ‘I look at the sacrifices that women have made and I think, why do I need to bother, why can’t I just marry a rich husband and retire?’ and you think, how can they even imagine that is the way to fulfil yourself, how dangerous it is.”