Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air
WELL, Barack Obama won. Canada can reopen her borders. Mitt Romney can walk freely in the knowledge that no crazy is going to assassinate him or compare him to Hitler. For those bored with the whole shebang, Frank J. Fleming
@ tweets: “My dream is to one day vote for president and then never hear about the guy again until the next election.” And on the internet, the mood is mixed:
DAVID Cameron has been on a tour of the Middle East:
JOIN in with the Mitt Romney Mega Prayer. (It’s spoof. But, by jingo, it’s good.)
THE best and funniest photos of the US 2012 Presidential election. Mitt Romney or Barack Obama?
MITT Romney is a Cockney. He dresses like a car dealer, admittedly, working in a more upmarket dealership. Here’s Mitt. Romney you plonka!
IT’S all kicking off in Donald Trump’s spiritual homeland. That’s Kenya, folks. (Read more about our favourite charity – You Can’t Help Laughing Kenya.) Barack Obama also has roots and relatives in Kenya. This is how they and their countrymen are marking the US Presidential election:
WHAT’S that in Barack Obama’s pocket? Is Mitt Romney’s jacket twitching? On November 23, 1975, The National News Extra spotted something nasty in Ronald Reagan’s jacket pocket.
The magazine trilled:
“Everywhere that Ronnie goes, Squeaky is sure to follow. Squeaky should; the disgusting creature ride around in Reagan’s pocket and scares the hell out of little old broads.”
FACT: Mitt Romney’s fourth cousin twice removed is Maria Nash, 32. Her husband, Simon Nash, earns a living as Deepdale Duck, the mascot of Preston North End Football Club.
True enough, Simon Nash is seven degrees separated from Mitt Ronmey, and may be more closely related to Kevin Bacon. But Kevin Bacon never was much of a football mascot.
I HAD a dream. I had a dream that Mitt Romney was elected President of the USA of A. Pentecostal Charisma has published records of such divine visions. (Once upon a time, Barack Obama was the Messiah.)
OBAMA vs Romney. Cassetteboy has reproduced The Final Debate. If you kept popping in and out of the room, this is what you might have seen and heard:
MITT Romney explains his religious beliefs:
“For a thousand years the world will be ruled from two places: Jerusalem and Missouri.”
But first all the Jews of the world have to mass in Israel to be killed:
YOU want them to be tough on crime? You can’t handle it. To Davao, Philippines, where Vice Mayor Rodrigo Duterte wants Ryan Yu arrested. Killed. Decapitated. His head delivered on ice.
“Make your choice. Either you want to earn 2 million, or you want to earn 4 million, or if you want to be morbid about it – bring the head of Ryan Yu to me and I will add 1 million,” he said.
MITT Romney’s biggest problem is his supporters. Kenya believe it?!
TONY Blair has been using interns at his mega-millions empire of peace-thru-banking. On the website Graduate Frog, we learn of a graduate who scored a three-month internship at Tony Blair’s private office. Good news. Tone opens doors. But the graduate would be required to work unpaid for five days a week. He could do four but not five. Working five days would mean the graduate forgoing his part-time job as a teaching assistant.
Tony Blair’s office told him via email:
“Sorry…the role has now been filled by someone who was available for the full 5 days.”
JULIA Ockenden is Head of Public Affairs at the BBC. She wrote a letter to Tory chairman Grant Shapps. The BBC wanted the Newsnight story squashed. She says the “notion that internal pressure was applied [to canning Newsnight’s investigation into Savile’s sex abuse] is a malicious rumour…” Schapps should not discuss such untruth on the BBC’s Question Time. And nor should Michael Green:
A CERTAIN Mr. Barroso tells us today that the Robin Hood Tax is a really wonderful idea:
Mr Barroso said the legal requirements and conditions had been met and he did not believe the tax would undermine the single market if it were imposed across limited parts of the European Union. “I am delighted to see that 10 member states have indicated their willingness to participate in a common financial transaction tax,” he said. “This tax can raise billions of euros of much-needed revenue for member states in these difficult times.”
WANT to swan about like Margaret Thatcher? Well, if you’ve £10m to spare, you can. Runs the blurb:
Armoured coach ex Margret thatcher northern ireland 38 ton monster…10 MILLION is on the steep side were really open to offers,whats it worth,depends whose shooting at you i guess. would trade against something interesting.
TV nodding Chris Matthews browse the political thinkers for a view. On lad tells him he will be voting for Romney because “he doesn’t cover up scandals in the Middle East”.
Matthews, who has invited the voter to speak, then harasses him: “What was the scandal? Get to it, nail it, what was the scandal?”
AT yesterday’s TUC march, aside from watching Ed Miliband’s train face, the eyes were on the placards. Could they be funny?
ED Miliband tell the TUC faithful massed in London for an anti-austerity protest that David Cameron is “clueless“. He added:
“They [Tories] leave young people out of work while the bonuses at the banks carry on. They even have a Chancellor of the Exchequer who tries to travel first class on a standard class ticket. It’s one rule for those at the top and another rule for everybody else: everybody like you who plays their part and does the right thing.”
SIR George Young is the Tory Party’s new Chief Whip. He replaces Andrew Mitchell, who resigned for swearing at police guarding Downing Street. What are Young’s credentials for the post? We’ve seen his application form:
Q. Do you own a bicycle?
A. Yes, I am the “bicycling baronet”.
Q. Are you a toff?
A. I went to Eton?
CAN George Osborne blame Jimmy Savile, the late BBC presenter for leading him astray?
GEORGE Osborne’s little PR disaster. Grab a Gregg’s pastry and listen up:
Chancellor George Osborne did travel in first class on a standard class ticket today, Virgin Trains told ITV News. But Jim Rowe, a Virgin Trains spokesman, said Mr Osborne had no direct communication with Virgin Trains staff.
An officer from the Metropolitan Police, escorting the Chancellor, alerted the train manager in advance that Mr Osborne did not have the correct ticket, Mr Rowe said. Once on the train, the train manager informed the police officer that the Chancellor would have to pay an upgrade fare, a request which Mr Osborne’s aide initially refused.
But after asking for a second time, the Chancellor’s aide agreed that the extra £160 would indeed be paid.
Paying upfront is for plebs.
The story is, of course, all about class. You can’t blame Osborne for wanting a table and some privacy to help him work. Class. The word hangs like a dark cloud over the Tory Cabinet…
WHO won the Presidential First Lady debate – you know, the one between Michelle Obama and Ann Romney?
STACEY Dash (Clueless, The Cosby Show (2 episodes) and Single Ladies) says we should vote for Mitt Romney.
Eva Longoria (Desperate Housewives, Arthur Christmas and Beverly Hills 90210 (1 episode)) says we should vote for Barack Obama.