Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air
PASTRY-face Prime Minster David Cameron told us:
“I love a hot pasty. I think the last one I bought was from the West Cornwall Pasty Company. I seem to remember I was in Leeds station at the time. The choice was to have one of their small ones or their large ones. I’ve got a feeling I opted for the large one and very good it was too.”
It must have been a bit dry – that shop closed in 2007.
RACHEL Reeves, the Member of Parliament for Leeds West and Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury, will now deliver the most brown-nosing, god-awful, suck-up tweet of all time. Mondeo Man, Worcester Woman, Pebbledash People and the Bacardi Breezer kids, prepare to meet the Greggs Genration.
THE Hot Food tax now extends to McDonald’s, Burger King and Greggs. One way to circumvent the 20p-in-the-£1 surcharge is to buy your treats cold or else invite butter-faced David Cameron to eat hot takeaways at his Downing Street soirees, seats at which can cost upwards of £250,000.
Cameron could add another, say, £50,000-a head to the dinner by way of la evy for any influencers who get excited about watching the Prime Minister eating a sausage roll. For another £10,000, pie face and SamCam will start at opposite ends of a one-footer and race to the centre.
THE Conservative Teen is a magazine for Conservative teens. For $19,95, you get four issues a year. The magazine supports marriage, protects the “innocent unborn” while harmonising rules, religion and law all with the defence of “individual liberties” – although not abortion, obviously, nor the right to be liberal. Other liberties. All of them. Mostly.
IS Islam to be a factor in the London mayoral elections? Ken Livingstone wants it to be. He wants to educated non-Muslims about the religion. Ken was at the North London CEntrl Mosque, foemrly yhr Finsbury Park mosque, where Abu Hamza used to knock about. When police raided the place they found chemical warfare suits, false passports, a stun gun, gas masks, handcuffs and hunting knives. It as there that Islamists practised with Kalashnikov AK-47s.
Andrew Gilligan writes in the Telegraph:
Ken Livingstone has promised to turn London into a “beacon” for the words of the Prophet Mohammed in a sermon at one of the capital’s most controversial mosques.
Mr Livingstone, Labour’s candidate for mayor of London, pledged to “educate the mass of Londoners” in Islam, saying: “That will help to cement our city as a beacon that demonstrates the meaning of the words of the Prophet.” Mr Livingstone described Mohammed’s words in his last sermon as “an agenda for all humanity.”
DAVID Cameron has it licked:
We need to tackle regulation with vigour both to free businesses to compete and create jobs, and give people greater freedom and personal responsibility. Of course we need proper standards, for example in areas like fire safety and food safety. So where regulation is well-designed and proportionate, it should stay. But it is hard to believe that we need government regulations on issues such as ice cream van musical jingles, or the display of bed prices. We know we have inherited far too much costly, pointless, and illiberal government red tape.
That’s why, since coming to office, the Government has pursued an ambitious deregulation agenda. – August 11, 2011
RICH Kids for Romney:
ASMA Al-Assad’s biggest mistake was to have been born a woman. While Bashar al-Assad approves use of extreme violence against his countrymen, the press guns for his British-born wife.
Having read Vogue’s hagiography to the Asma slender ankle (with apology)- no GQ repot on Bashar’s preference for the sack, crack and back – the Telegraph looks though the couple’s apparently leaked emails and notes that “Mrs Assad, 36, displays no misgivings about the regime’s bloody crackdown, which has accounted for most of the estimated 8,000 lives lost”.
Well, quite. As Asma’s wedding vows might have gone: “In sickness and in health, in times of mass murder and State-sanctioned rape, when you can’t find the remote control or your Right Said Fred LP and blame me, I do take thee to be my lawfully wedded wife.”
THE anti-Barack Obama bumper sticker tells drivers who can read it: “Don’t Re-Nig In 2012.” Adding: “Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect Obama!”
You can buy it on Stumpy’s Stickers.
Glittering the White House dinner will be, but what stars will be there?
To reflect the astounding success in the US of the TV series Downton Abbey, Hugh Bonneville is said to be on the guest list. Sir Jonathan Ive – Apple’s British design supremo – is said to be attending, too, along with Damian Lewis, the British actor who shone as a US special ops soldier sprung from prison in Iraq in the Showtime hit, Homeland. Impressive? Attendees at a White House dinner for Tony Blair in 1998 included Harrison Ford, Tom Hanks and Barbra Streisand.
DAVID Cameron says Barack Obama will look at the 2003 extradition treaty that steamrolls British justice and has sent Christopher Tappin to a US prison.
“I raised this issue with President Obama today and we had a good discussion. We will be following this up with further talks between our teams. We have carried out an independent review of the treaty which found that it was balanced but I recognise that there are concerns about how it is implemented in practice and that’s what our teams will look at.”
Teams. What a hateful word that has become. It defers all power to the group. It’s an enlargement on Tony Blair’s calls to “join the debate”. We all got invited to join the debate. And while we chatted Tony signed an extradition treaty that makes the UK America’s lickspittle and went there on a speaking tour.
RICK Santorum is overcoming his anal issues by adding a silent P to his first name. Rick says that abortion should be illegal under all circumstances – even if his raped wife needed one to dave her life., Rick is all about compassion…
THE staff at London’s Hammersmith and Fulham council just want to say thanks.
While we wait to know whose idea this was, look out for the woman who was once in Boney M typing with no broken nails and then offering Ricky Groves the chance to pull her cracker.
Thank you very much for paying your par-king ti-i-i-ickets…
YESTERDAY, a friend of mine expressed a degree of shock when I passingly described the recently dead Norman St John-Stevas as ‘gay’ – what proof had I? I laughed. Now I see the grown-up Economist has got straight to the point in its excellent capsule obit: ‘Entering politics in the 1950s, St John-Stevas had little choice but to conceal part of who he was—a gay man—albeit beneath a carapace of campness, a form of hiding in plain sight. Today four Tory government ministers are openly gay.’
The Telegraph‘s entertaining obit heads in the right direction but then takes a deter into nudge-nudge-land: ‘He had a close friend who was a merchant banker, but claimed to be “celibate” or “chaste”.’ Ah, yes. Read the rest of this entry »
Read the rest of this entry »
ERIC Joyce MP has been appearing at Westminster Magistrates Court in London. He has been found guilty of head-butting a Tory rival in a House of Commons bar brawl. Conservative MP for Pudsey, Stuart Andrew, was injured during a rumpus in the Strangers’ Bar.
Joyce has escaped a custodial sentence, being handed to a 12-month community order, fined £3,000, ordered to pay £1,400 in compensation, barred from any pub for 3 months and has a Fri-Sun curfew from 8pm-4am.
CHLOE Smith, a Conservative Treasury minister and MP for Norwich North, is in touch with her region:
David Crausby MP introduced a woman from his Bolton constituency who complained that her hours as a care worked for the Care Association had been reduced from 28 to 20 per week. One problem is that couples must now work 24 instead of 16 hours per week to be eligible for tax credits.
Crausby asks Smith: “What advice would the minister give to my constituent other than stop work and go on benefits?”
The Guardian writes:
Among the pledges in the convention, which has already been signed by 18 countries including Germany, France and Ukraine, is one to pass legislation or other measures to criminalise or impose other sanctions for “unwanted verbal, non-verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature with the purpose or effect of violating the dignity of a person, in particular when creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment”.
Unwanted? How do you qualify unwanted?
Better to rebrand the wold whistle to something less predatory, like the frog whistle or the teddy bear whistle. Wolves don’t whistle. But rabbits might.
“People really like it even though it’s named after something gross — both the person and the Dan Savage meaning,” said John Rauschenberg, co-owner of Pacific Standard. “It’ll be an election fixture at least until primary season is over.”
The duo behind the beer hole near St. Mark’s Place often put out cocktails with suggestive names, such as the Corn Holed Fashioned or Mike Gallego’s Cup.
But the Santorum, a milky mixture of Baileys, orange vodka, bitters and chocolate flakes, seems to be sticking.
We won’t explain how the drink matches up with an alternate definition of the word “Santorum,” as The Brooklyn Paper is a family publication — but the bar’s liberal proprietors are certain it’ll satisfy any boozy desires.
The “social lubricant” will go down well…(fnar)….
SAYS Ed Miliband:
“News International have sullied the character of reputation of British journalism” – March 3, 2012
All good and true Labour supporters must boycott the Sun, says Ed.
“Sunk by a wave of freedom – David Miliband writes why Russian election could be end of Putin” – March 4, 2012
THE many orgasm faces of George Osborne – as not seen by anyone other than his wife ever (and no prostitutes nor members of the Bullingdon club)…
AND the winner of the Presidential elections in Russia is…Vladimir Putin.
Some voters were undecided and wanted to wait until Putin took his shirt off one more time before deciding if he still had it. Their deliberations were cut short when Putin tweeted: “I’m following you – all of you.”
EVER hear of Barack Obama’s “transgender ex-nanny outcast”?
The AP has. It introduces the world to Evie. She looked after Barry Obama when he lived in Indonesia. Evie is a woman trapped in a man’s body. She tells a tale of brutality and hate in Indonesia. She says a trangendered friend of hers was killed on account of her sexuality. It made Evie toss sway her dresses and make-up and live as man in fear. Says Evie:
“I knew in my heart I was a woman, but I didn’t want to die like that. So I decided to just accept it. … I’ve been living like this, a man, ever since.”
The report adds:
Nobody knows how many of them live in the sprawling archipelagic nation of 240 million, but activists estimate 7 million. Because Indonesia is home to more Muslims than any other country in the world, the pervasiveness of men who live as women and vice versa often catches newcomers by surprise. They hold the occasional pageant, work as singers or at salons and include well-known celebrity talk show host Dorce Gamalama.
Pageants does not sound like a group living in constant fear. And why should Muslims be less understanding of transgender people than, says, Catholics in Northern Ireland or Sikhs in the Punjab?
…the country’s highest Islamic body has decreed that they are required to live as they were born because each gender has obligations to fulfill, such as reproduction.
“They must learn to accept their nature,” says Ichwan Syam, a prominent Muslim cleric at the influential Indonesian Ulema Council. “If they are not willing to cure themselves medically and religiously” they have “to accept their fate to be ridiculed and harassed.”
LIVERPOOL city council thought it a good idea for disabled motorists to undergo medical examinations for parking permit blue badges on the 13th level of a car park. To further test the authenticity of claims, the lift (buttons: ‘calm down’ and ‘eh up lad’) at the Mount Pleasant car park stops on the 11th floor.
A disabled driver complains that “a set of stairs has to be negotiated before emerging at the correct level and having done this there is a long walk for someone of limited ability”.
Should those who make it be denied the badge? Or should the badges be reserved to those who never reach the 13th floor?