Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air
ED Miliband only needs a baby blue bow in his hair to look more like a gift to the Tory election strategy.
Anorak’s problem with him is that he can’t speak properly. His inability say even the most basic words without sounding like a balloon fating out the last vestiges of air grates.
Politically, he’s limp. After years of coalition rule, the Labour Party hasn’t laid a glove on the Tories. Their Plan A seems to have been to sit back and let UKIP destroy the Conservatives. But they failed to realise that UKIPs job was to smash the BNP and many Labour voters don’t like foreigners much, either. After all, it was the Labour Government that made Romanians and Bulgarians second-class Europeans by keeping then out of Britain when those two nations joined the EU in January 2007. Romanians and Bulgarian had to wait seven years to join the Poles in the UK. The Labour Party failed to spot that its own illiberal polities were not all that different to UKIP’s.
They are surely heading for defeats at the next election.
But before Ed goes, he’s being turned into laughing stock:
WE took lots of photos of UKIP Leader Nigel Farage arrives at Cudham Church of England Primary School in Cudham, Kent, to cast his vote in today’s Local and European elections:
WHAT are we to make of the news that Prince Charles likened Vladimir Putin to Adolf Hitler? Charles didn’t make his views known in a public address. He was, as the BBC put it, “privately conversing” in Nova Scotia, Canada, where one day he hopes to be head of State. Charles told a woman whose relations were murdered in the Holocaust: “And now Putin is doing just about the same as Hitler.”
A senior Russian diplomatic source tells the Telegraph:
“We are seeking clarification [from the FCO] at a working level. It’s not clear if it is an official position. The response from Clarence House is it was a private talk. We hope there is nothing behind it. But it is unclear to us: what does it mean? He is the future king, after all… It is very serious. Every family in our country lost someone in that war.”
Over 20millions Russian died in World War 2.
DID you enjoy that Channel 4 News interview, the one where Jon Snow asked two Romanian guests what they thought of UKIP and Nigel Farage’s comment on “unruly Romanians”? We met Mariana Gordan, a woman who moved to the UK as a refugee, escaping the murderous nutjob Ceausescu. She’s lived here for 35 years. Snow asked her:
“How would you feel if somebody told you you would have to live next door to Nigel Farage?”
SO. UKIP staged a carnival in Croydon. All carnivals are crap. This one was no exception.
In 2011, UKIP’s party’s director of communications and European candidate, Patrick O’Flynn, told Daily Express readers that London’s Notting Hill Carnival was a “propagandist message” and should be shut down. It’s not. It’s got no message. It’s just cramped, dull and full of people pretending to have al fresco fun. It rivals only Zurich for its cloying sense of civic pride. And that’s in neat and tidy Switzerland where they understand it if you want to kill yourself.
UKIP’s carnival would be a monocultural village fete on wheels. UKIP, the Party that dreams of Leni Riefenstahl directing episodes of Midsomer Murders (we all know who did it; just high time everyone else knew it, too), staged its carnival. The party booked a band of steel drummers (trad jazz for the ethnic vote), who left when they found out they’d be playing Yellow Bird for Nigel Farage and his supporters. But before the UKIPers had time to stick Max Bygraves singing Under the Coconut Tree on the gramophone, a gang of intolerant protesters turned up to scream that the UKIP party was intolerant.
TO Turkey, where the the PM’s adviser is on sick leave for injuries to the leg he used to kick a protester.
— Neden TT oldu? (@nedenttoldu) May 14, 2014
Yusuf Yerkel was touring Soma with Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan when he hurt his leg.
FINALLY! UKIPS’ one-man-band Nigel Farage is exposed by LBC’s James O’Brien to be the crap politician he surely is. His one mission was to destroy the BNP and EDL. Job done. Anything other than that, the man’s a dead duck.
THE METRO heralded the arrival of “the tweet police”, the anti-free speech brigade who nick you for saying nasty things (but only if the target is a popular one). The story went that the twitter cops had called on Green Party member Michael Abberton. He had mocked up a UKIP poster on Twitter. He was “fact checking” UKIP’s ten-point party policy.
A UKIP councillor offended. (So much for the stiff-upper lip.) They contacted the police. And the police, in their wisdom, laced up their heavy boots and went over to have a word with the tweeter.
LOOK out Boko Haram. You Islamist nutjobs have nothing our our Prime Minister, David Cameron. Sure, you’ve got over 200 girls in our dungeon in the wilds of Nigeria. Sure, you want to forcibly marry them off to be raped for your perverted view of spiritualism. But Dave has a hashtag. He has Twitter.
THE cameraman could have moved a bit to the right. But the man form the BNOP wasn’t shifting. So. We get to see Nigel Farage, UKIPs sole voice, standing before the word “TWAT”.
TO Sussex, where the MP for Lewes, Liberal Democrat Norman Baker, is in the mire. He can’t spell the name of his constituency.
Poor old Norma left off a letter, making Sussex ‘Susex’.
These small things matter at erection time for the men in the gay suites.
(Ok, enough already – ed).
SARAH Palin was once destined to be the president of the USA’s VeePee. She would be a heartbeat away from becoming Leader of the Free World. Recently the former Alaskan governor spoke to the National Rifle Association’s yearly convention in Indianapolis.
The highlight of her chat was he telling the good folks “waterboarding is how we baptize terrorists.”
A 7-FT TALL STATUE of Satan could soon be sat on the lawns before the Oklahoma State Capitol next to a monument of the ten commandments, pictured below. Note the spellings of “SABETH” and “MAIDSERAUNT”. The Divine hand was big on Creation but not too hot on spelling.
THE hacker with the Anonymous group known only as @Anon_0x03 has gained access to the Twitter account of British National Party’s chairman Nick Griffin. You’ll remember him from that time before Nigel Farage became the go-to face of intolerance. Onr theory is that UKIP leader Farage’s sole mission is to destroy the BNP vote. After all, UKIP is an empty vessel into which people can pour their pet hates and prejudices.
So. What did the hackers twitter from @nickgriffinmep?
Nick Griffin has apologised to his followers for a series of grammatically correct & inoffensive tweets posted after his account was hacked.
just wish someone funny who could really have gone to town had hacked it.
HackRead records a few of the tweets, which are crude and could have been much funnier:
The Telegraph reports an exchange that suggests the hacker had little idea what a Nick Griffin is:
What are you actually going to do with the account now you’ve got it? @bnp”one user tweeted to the hacker.
No sure, any ideas? I don’t really give a ****. It was just a random target. I’m not even from GB,” the hacker replied
We leave you with a few more tweets:
Nick Griffin and the BNP have been more ludicrous…
WHEN you see one efit that looks like David Cameron, you laugh.
This one was issued by police in Stockbridge, Hampshire, seeking a man who had conned an elderly woman of £60.A police spokesperson says
And now we see another efit of ‘Dave’ and it’s get us thinking…
Just me, or for this criminal look a lot like the PM? pic.twitter.com/aTyzXsZc9i
— Luke McGee (@lukemcgee) May 1, 2014
UKIP, once derided as “loonies” have issued a set of posters that look a little familiar.
Spotters: Independent, Private Eye
NIGEL Farage, leader of Ukip – sole mission: to destroy The BNP- has been hit by a bout of improvised hand gesturing as he stood outside the Bell Inn in Bath, now renamed the Bell End.
DID you see those new UKIP posters, the ones warning about foreigners coming over here to take our jobs?
The man in the frame was there to illustrate “British workers” being “hard hit by unlimited cheap labour”. He is seen begging. He is one of the hard hit.
THANKS to Nick Clegg (wage: £134,565 a year) and his wife Miriam González Durántez (wage: 500,000 a year), we know how to raise our children. Miriam interrupted a speech by Nick on how men should get time off work to care for the kids (he says men must see themselves are carers not breadwinners) to tells us that men who look after their children have “more cojones”.
He told the audience of working parents that he and Miriam shared the work after their birth of their three sons, Antonio, Alberto and Miguel.
Nick has cojones the size of a nanny from Belgium.
UNFORTUNATE UKIP ad placement:
GEORGE W. Bush’s paintings have been adapted to feature on pillows, bags, throws and clocks. Bush’s collection – “The Art of Leadership: A President’s Personal Diplomacy” – features the faces of his dad, Tony Blair, Vladimir Putin and Hamid Karzai.
WHO wants to be Nigel Farage’s PA? That’s not euphemism. You won’t have to sleep with him. He’s not a Cabinet Minister.
Granted, his current PA does get to inhale his man-of-the-people’s breath after a night in the Pint & Castella. HE;s his wife – his German-born wife. And he can enter the contest to find her replacement on the website of recruitment firm Xpat Jobs.
THE Journal Star has caught up with Jacob Elliott. He was arrested in the war on free speech. The Mayor or Peoria, one Jim Ardis, was very upset at the fake Twitter account, @Peoriamayor. He called the police.
Rather than laugh at Mr Ardis and advise him to respond to the spoof blog with humour and smiles, the police thought he had made a good point. How very dare anyone mock the Mayor. You can mock Jesus, God, Mohammed and even George Clooney, but mocking the Mayor of Peoria is a step too far.
Three judges agreed.
Judge Kirk Schoebein signed off on a warrant seeking subscriber information from Twitter.
Judge Lisa Wilson approved a warrant for Comcast to find out where the person who used the Internet to access Twitter lived
Judge Kim Kelley signed the warrant to search the home of the alleged parodists.
Respect for the man and his office must be preserved.
ED Miliband has been in Israel, rediscovering his Jewish roots.
The Daily Mail quotes the Labour leader as saying: “I would be the first Jewish prime minister if we win the election.”