Downing Street Celebrates PM Pet Jeremy Clarkson

DOWNING Street on Clarkson. This is the state of politics in the UK.

Anorak

Posted: 19th, August 2008 | In: Labour Party, PM's Pets, Politicians, Terrible TV | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Gordon Brown Ignore Daily Express Petrol Crusade

“BROWN BLOCKS OUR FUEL PETITION,” announces the Express on its front page.

“Gordon Brown yesterday banned our petition – demanding an immediate cut in fuel duty – from the No10 website.”

To the No.10 website and a hunt through rejected petitions for the Express’s cri de couer that so irked Gordon Brown.

Is it this one?

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to ensure that the 2p-a-litre fuel duty rise planned for October 1 is scrapped and that instead fuel duty is substantially cut - Submitted by Geoff Marsh of Daily Express

If so, Anorak notes that it was rejected not because the Express threatens the fabric of the country and makes Brown uneasy, but because: “It was similar to and/or overlaps with an existing petition or petitions.”

Or was it this petition, one rejected because “It contained false or incomplete name or address information:

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 7th, June 2008 | In: Gordon Brown, Labour Party, Money, PM's Pets, Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

PM’s Pets: Stop Donald Trump, Sex Toys For Teens And Chuck Norris Road

ANORAK’S fairly regular look at those petitions appearing on the Prime Minister’s website.

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Introduce cat control restraint whereby cats are confined to their owner’s property and a compulsory neutering and microchipping scheme to protect cats put in place… Change legislation that affects cat ownership, they have slipped under the radar for far too long - Rozzalin White

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Lower the legal age for the purchase of ‘Sex Toys’ to 16. Currently the legal age for purchase of sex toys is 18. The legal age for consent to sex is 16 - Danny Beattie

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 4th, February 2008 | In: PM's Pets, Politicians | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

PM’s Petitions: Corsets For The Fat

PRIME Minister Petitions: “We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to make it compulsory for the Under 5’s to wear corsets”

And: “It is a known medical fact in the UK that most under fives are now obese or the size of small elephants. Therefore, it would make perfect sense to make it compulsory for under 5’s to wear a wale bone corset, thus creating a better posture and slender look!!” – Michelle Minnett

Rejected: “It was intended to be humorous, or have no point about government policy”

Although make it synthetic whale bone, and you’re on to something…

Anorak

Posted: 11th, January 2008 | In: PM's Pets, Politicians | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Prime Minister’s Petitions: We The Undersigned…

“HE talks about a clamour for an election,” says Gordon Brown at Prime Minister’s Question Time, in response to David Cameron’s goading. “I looked at the Downing Street website this morning.

“Certainly there is a petition calling for an election. It is signed by 26 people and not one of them are the Conservative front bench.”

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Hold a general election in 2007.
Submitted by Mark Batty
The are now 12,621 signatures.

You can take a look here.

Pic: Beau Bo D’Or

More petitions:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to not hold a general election in 2007
Submitted by Sid Cumberland Signatures: 4

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to prevent the current and any past or future Prime Minister and their immediate family from benefiting financially because of their association with that position
Submitted by Alan Miller

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to make it a criminal offence for members of parliament and civil servants to lie to the electorate
Submitted by ian silversides

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to ensure that leaders of other countries stop their citizens using live cats and dogs as shark bait
Submitted by Linda Week We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Force train companies to charge only half their normal fares during planned engineering works.
Submitted by Gurusimha Krishnamurthy

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to allow gay and bisexual men to donate blood
Submitted by Jonathan Pryor

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to consider having a day celebrating white people’s culture. We believe that white people should have a celebratory day, to celebrate this country’s roots, not necessarily a bank holiday but just some recognition of what the white people who ‘founded’ this country have done in the past
Submitted by Micahel Seaman

(Let’s hear it for the Germans!)

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to not spend ten million pounds of tax payers money on the Diana & Dodi enquiry.
Submitted by julie ferguson

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to stop the global warming propaganda
Submitted by Ian Miller

Anorak

Posted: 13th, October 2007 | In: PM's Pets, Politicians | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

PM Petitions: We The Undersigned Want Gordon Brown To…

Anorak’s look at those Prime Minister’s petitions.

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Bring back the ancient English tradition of the stocks in order to punish repeat petty criminals and give some kind of satisfaction to the people they have offended. The stocks would of course have to be policed so that no hard items are thrown and people would have to pay a small charge for items thrown which would go to a charity for the victims of crime. A good day out will be had by all - Submitted by Steven Link

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to ban all forms of transport with the exception of motorbikes - Submitted by keith Nichol

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to ban the sale and use of bicycles. If bicycles were invented now, no sane government would allow them to be used. Unprotected bodies, travelling at speed on a 2-wheeled vehicle which can be upset by a wet manhole - any official would reject this idea out of hand. The only reason we allow bicycles is that they have been around for more than a century and we have all got used to them - Submitted by Richard Olliffe

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Grant Alan Turing a postumous pardon for his homosexual conviction in the 1950’s. Alan Turing, the acclaimed mathematician, creator of Colossus and the Enigma code breaking efforts that gave this country the code breaking capabilities that helped Britain, and our allies, win the 2nd World War, and created/assisted in the precursor to the technology behind the modern GCHQ after the war, a postumous pardon for being criminalised for his homosexuality. Albeit ‘illegal’ at the time. Importantly, a public government apology for committing him to compulsory injections of oestrogen (&/or other female hormones) that affected his physical appearance and mental ability that caused him to commit suicide in 1954.This action was reminiscent of the Nazi regime that we had just defeated, in large part assisted by him and his codebreakers! - Submitted by Howard Timmis

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Grant Pangbourne Independence from the UK. This petition is on behalf of the people of the Village of Pangbourne to tell the government to grant our request for Independence from the UK and allow us to adopt the new name of “The Peoples Republic of Pangbourne” PROP for short – Submitted by Danny Maher

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Change drug laws so that repeat offenders such as the “famed” Pete Docherty & others in his position can no longer evade justice and put others at risk - Submitted by Jo Brooke

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to make the meat from cattle slaughtered because of the foot and mouth outbreak available for domestic human consumption. Meat from cattle infected with foot and mouth disease offers no known health risk to humans. While this produce may be considered unfit for export, wrongly, in my opinion, it should not be allowed to go to waste. There are plenty of people who cannot afford the luxury of quality British beef and would welcome the opportunity to sit down to a free Sunday roast. Why not? - Submitted by Ray Cattini

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Make it a legal obligation for primary and secondary schools to have a special constable present during school hours - Submitted by Mr.Graeme.G.M.Gillon of The Gillon Household

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to ban the rspca - Submitted by o loveridge

Anorak’s Petition Of The Week:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to ensure all sand bags employed in flood control use Fair Trade sands only taken from a sustainable source, like the Gobi Desert or Sandbanks.

Pic: Hack

Anorak

Posted: 10th, August 2007 | In: PM's Pets | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

We The Undersigned Want Gordon Brown To…

SAYS No. 10: “There is a long-established tradition of members of the public presenting petitions at the door of No 10 Downing Street. The e-Petitions [http://petitions.pm.gov.uk] service has been designed to offer a modern parallel, which is more convenient for the petitioner. Unlike paper-based petitions, this new service also provides an opportunity for No 10 to respond to petitioners via email.”

And what’s more with an e-pet you don’t run the risk of getting shot when you approach that famous black door.

In honour of Gordon Brown’s elevation, Anorak takes a look at some of those petitions that make mention of him:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Resume cordial relationship with the First Minister Alex Salmond - I find it shameful that Tony Blair and Gordon Brown can sit down with the likes of ex paramilitaries in Northern Ireland and Guddafi. When they do not have the common courteousy to even phone Alex Salmond scotlands New First Minister. I petition both Tony and Gordon to resume a relationship with the first minister in the interests of the 5 million people of Scotland.

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Disclose Bilderberg Group decisions affecting the UK electorate

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to refund to “Children In Need” an amount equivalent to all the VAT raised by the Treasury, on the sale of the “Janet & John” CD’s from the “Terry Wogan Breakfast Show” on BBC Radio 2

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to make Tony ‘Bomber’ Brown ex WBA football player a Sir

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Locate the centralised Student Loan Company (SLC) in England NOT Scotland - Student Loans are to be centralised to Glasgow. At the same time Gordon and his cronies are facing a situation where the Scots do not pay any student fees in Scotland and yet English students will have to pay to attend a UK-subsidised scottish University! Surely it has to be the height of insensitivity to please the student loand company in Scotland!!

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to honour Phillip Schofield for his services to broadcasting - Phillip Schofield (born 1st April, 1962 in Oldham, Lancashire) is a tv presenter that can relate to an audience of all ages - He presents This Morning and Dancing On Ice but over his 25 years in broadcasting has also presented childrens programmes (from his broom cupboard days with Gordon and Gopher to Going Live!) and many other programmes including Schofield’s Europe, Talking Telephone Numbers, Test the Nation and The British Soap Awards to name a few.

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Scrap the £5 billion-a-year tax grab from pension funds - Gordon Brown abolished ACT in his 1997 budget. This allowed pension funds to claim back the tax on dividends from companies in which they owned shares. He has taken £5 billion-a-year from this action. This reduces the amount of money in the fund when an annuity is purchased to fund retirement. This action is at odds with Mr. Brown’s encouragement of saving for retirement and hence this tax should be scrapped to provide an incentive.

More to come…

Pic: Poldraw 

Anorak

Posted: 1st, July 2007 | In: PM's Pets | Comments (18) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Prime Minister’s Petitions - More Rejections

ANORAK’S regular look at those petitions appearing on the Prime Minister’s website -

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to stop students calling male teachers sir when they dont have a knighthood - Max Zito
Rejected: It was intended to be humorous, or have no point about government policy

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Send Mr Hain on a world tour, apologising to everyone he meets - Paul Carlin
Rejected: It was outside the remit or powers of the Prime Minister and Government

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to make Oliver Gover a Lord
Rejected: It was intended to be humorous, or have no point about government policy

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Allow Driver to run down Chavs on sight - Richard of Sefton
Rejected: It contained language which is offensive, intemperate, or provocative

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to get rid of the police state - Francis Warrick
Rejected: It contained language which is offensive, intemperate, or provocative; It contained false name or address information

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to make sure that banana’s are peeled from the bottom to top - Ian Elgin of Banana Liberation front
Rejected: It was intended to be humorous, or have no point about government policy

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Posthumously award Bill Nicholson a knighthood - Ryan Pitson
Rejected: It was outside the remit or powers of the Prime Minister and Government (see cash-for-peerages etc.)

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Reconsider committing the United Kingdom to the absurd EU proposition to compel us to use low voltage fluorescent light bulbs that provide inadequate, cold, depressing light provided by ugly bulbs that don’t fit into standard fittings or are unusable in chandeliers and other artful light fittings - Buck Lopez
Rejected: It was similar to and/or overlaps with an existing petition or petitions (We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Save the traditional light bulb and retain freedom of choice)

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Make it illegal to smoke while driving - Patricia A Gwyther
Rejected: It was similar to and/or overlaps with an existing petition or petitions (We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Make smoking whilst driving illegal)

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to stop using global warming as an excuse to invent more taxes - Ben Ware
Rejected: It contained party political material

Anorak

Posted: 22nd, April 2007 | In: Back pages, PM's Pets | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Prime Minister’s Petitions - Rejections

Anorak begins a regular look at those petitions appearing on the Prime Minister’s website.

Submit your petition to Anorak and we will champion the best one. It will be a group effort.

At the time of writing there are 7087 open petitions on the site. And 4904 rejected petitions.

Rejected petitons so far include:
TO have more control over the selling of alcohol from small shops, small,off linces, supermarkets, stores in built up areas, council estates where there are teenages causing proplems i.e. anti-social behaviour. Withdraw alcohol licences immediately in a vacinty of 2.5 miles of known hotspots - Michael Mckenzie
Rejected: It contained wording that is impossible to understand

WE the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to sex a badger - Edwin Van Cleef
Rejected: It contained language which is offensive, intemperate, or provocative

WE the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Allow cannabis to be sold over the counter - Peter Kerr
Rejected: It was commercial endorsement, promotion of a product, service or publication, or statements that amounted to adverts

WE the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to stay on as Prime Minister for a fourth term despite having said he will stand down in the next 12 months - Alan Skipper
Rejected: It contained party political material

WE wish to draw attention to the proposed change of use of the swimming pool at Noth West Kent College Oakfield Lane Dartford, to enlarged drama facilities. The pool is used by schools, clubs and pensioners, which is all in line with the Goverments policy of Health for Britain, and will be a great loss to the users - Mr B A Bishop & Mrs E D Bishop
Rejected: It doesn’t actually request any action

WE the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to ignore all of these petitions (except this one) - Graham Thompson
Rejected: It was an issue for which an e-petition is not the appropriate channel

WE the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to create a ministry of Silly Walks - Luke Freeman
Rejected: It was intended to be humorous, or have no point about government policy

WE the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to STOP TAXING THE PEOPLE OF BRITAIN TO DEATH - Don O’ Mahoney
Rejected: It contained party political material

WE the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Bring Back breakfast cereal LUCKY CHARMS to our glorious nation
Rejected: It contained language which is offensive, intemperate, or provocative

IN order to spice up the proceedings at No10 i feel a bit of added comedy would not go a miss. What then would be better than our politicians dressed as clowns as they cheer and jeer at each other - Rob of A very special one
Rejected: It was intended to be humorous, or have no point about government policy

WE the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Force Julie Kirkbride, Bromsgrove’s MP, to do some work and stop having her photo taken - James Brogan of North Bromsgrove High School
Rejected: It was outside the remit or powers of the Prime Minister and Government

WE the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Shoot dead all convicted peadophiles and child mollestors - Justin Skinner
Rejected: It was similar to and/or overlaps with an existing petition or petitions

WE the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to make the stone roses reform. More details - Joseph Kemp
Rejected: It was intended to be humorous, or have no point about government policy

WE the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to get Jason Robery to shut the window as it is freezing. Jason is a hot fella and always needs the window open. However, the rest of the office is suffering and there is potential for several members of staff to display symptoms of pneumonia. This will cause great distress and potentially be critical to the loss of income to the working sector and a decline in economy - John Roberts
Rejected: It was intended to be humorous, or have no point about government policy

Anorak

Posted: 11th, April 2007 | In: PM's Pets | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0