Prince Harry’s airbrushed life gets purpose with live HIV tests

Prince Harry has taken an HIV test to promote World Aids Day. It works. The papers are all covering the blood letting as Harry tours Barbados. It helps, of course, that Harry was not alone, accompanied as he was by pop star Rihanna.

This was his second public test. In July Harry took an HIV test on Facebook live. The Guardian said Harry “admitted to being nervous before the result came back negative”. The results of yesterday’s test are, as yet, unpublished.

The Telegraph reported that following Harry’s test the Terrence Higgins Trust saw a fivefold increase in orders for testing kits in the days after.

All good, then. A man who seems to live an airbrushed life, Harry has found a use and a use has been found for Harry.

PS: Of course the tabloids need a twist on what was a pretty routine afternoon’s PR work for Harry, so we get the Daily Express saying Rihanna was “flirty” with Harry and talked about not having sex in a barber’s hop; the Sun punning “Wince Harry”; and the Mail asking “Is it really worth testing 11 million Britons for HIV?”

Karen Strike

Posted: 2nd, December 2016 | In: Reviews, Royal Family | Comment

Kids find something funny about Miss Butt in London school

We are at a loss. Cultural imperialism is rife. The Sun reports on “mum” Priscilla Terumalai, who was “hauled” into Mayville Primary School in Leytonstone, East London, to  explain why her 5-year-old daughter and her classmates had been giggling at their teacher: Miss Butt. For some reason, the figurative blighters found the name funny.

Indeed, dear reader, this is grim news. Miss Bottom, Miss Gluteus Maximus or Miss Arse would all be more suited to triggering laughter at a traditional British school. Miss Butt is so Americanised. It can’t be long before the kids are finding Miss Booty-Call hilarious.

Anyhow, Priscilla says the school is unhappy that Miss Butt was the butt of the kids’ laughter and may now move her children Annalise and Destiny to… Yes, Destiny.

Stop that! Stop that laughing. Stop it now!

PS: the local newspaper began its report: “A MOTHER says she feels ‘intimidated’ by a school after a teacher became the butt of her daughter’s humour.”

Free speech. No butts.

Karen Strike

Posted: 1st, December 2016 | In: Reviews, Strange But True, Tabloids | Comment

Barry Bennell: Horrific abuse and the Dominoes effect but no Gary Speed

The paedophiles in football story continues unabated in the Mirror, which leads with the front-page headline “10 questions the FA must answer”. It must? No. This is the newspaper making a story that first appeared in the Guardian into its own campaign. On November 16, former footballer Andy Woodward told the Guardian’s Daniel Taylor about the “horrific abuse he suffered from the age of 11 by one of his coaches, in the hope that others will come forward too”.

Taylor noted on November 26 in a story headlined “When I started talking to Barry Bennell’s victims, I had no idea how deep abuse ran in football” that the story throws up questions.

Some of those questions may never be addressed properly and, all the time, there is that nagging sense that, when it really mattered, the sport of Andy Woodward, Steve Walters, Paul Stewart, David White, Chris Unsworth, Jason Dunford and Ian Ackley – and I dread to think how many others – looked the other way.

So to the Mirror today and its 10 questions, which can be summed up as, ‘Who knew what and why wasn’t Barry Bennell exposed sooner?’ We’d add: “Why didn’t newspaper get hold of this story before Andy Woodward felt brave enough to tell all?

“Only now, at the age of 43, I feel I can actually live without that secret and that massive, horrible burden,” Woodward told Taylor. “I want to get it out and give other people an opportunity to do the same. I want to give people strength. I survived it. I lost my career, which was a massive thing for me, but I’m still here. I came through the other side. Other people can have that strength.”

Bennell began his football career coaching juniors in 1970, when he was 16. On a 1994 tour with the Stone Dominoes, a 13-year-old club player claimed that Bennell had sexually abused him.

The Dominoes’ website has a note:

1992-1994
Lichfield League.

A professional coach joined from Crewe Alex and ex Manchester City, and accelerated development. Tours to the USA took place in 1993 and 1994 with great success.

5 Wedgwood Keele Classics were collected with several Championships and Cups as well.

Unfortunately the coach was dismissed by the Club in 1994 for gross misconduct and a review of the club’s situation undertaken.

 

The Mail notes:

The founder of the Stone Dominoes football club, where Bennell was working in the early 1990s when first arrested and convicted of sex offences against boys, has told this newspaper that a lawyer connected to the League Managers’ Association did ‘due diligence’ on Bennell before they hired him, and after consulting previous employers, including Manchester City and Crewe, ‘cleared’ Bennell as a suitable man to hire.

Bennell’s convictions can be listed (via the Mail):

1994: Barry Bennell is sentenced to four years in prison in the United States after pleading guilty to six counts of sexual assault, including the rape of a boy, while coaching Staffordshire side Stone Dominoes during their youth tour of Florida.

1998: Bennell was found guilty at Chester Crown Court in 1998 of 23 offences against six boys, aged from nine to 15, and was sentenced to nine years in jail.

2015: Bennell was given a further sentence in 2015 when he pleaded guilty to sexually abusing another boy at a camp in Macclesfield in 1980.

The 1997, the Independent warned readers: “Football-mad boys are being put in “potentially dangerous situations” where they could be abused by the people who train them, according to a Channel 4 programme to be screened tonight.”

The show was Dispatches, a documentary series on Channel 4.

An investigation by Dispatches says that the hold coaches have over their school-age proteges – the chance of a career in professional football – can give them the opportunity to abuse boys for years with little fear of discovery.

One former coach, Barry Bennell, who worked at Manchester City, Stoke City and Crewe Alexandra is currently serving four years in a United States prison after admitting buggery and assault on a boy.

Another amateur club, Ipswich Saracens, found that their coach Keith Ketley was a convicted sex offender. Despite this he had been able to set up another team with Football Association affiliation. He is now serving five years in jail after being found guilty on four counts of indecent assault…

One of the boys was Ian Ackley, who played for a Derbyshire side coached by Bennell. “Looking back on the things that have happened [I have] lots of regrets really,” he said. “It reminds me very much of the control he had basically over people. And how he very much had people in his grip.”…

It was not until 1994 when Bennell took youth teams from Staffordshire on tour to Florida that a 13-year-old boy spoke out about the abuse he suffered and Bennell was arrested. He could only be charged with offences committed in the US.

Ketley had run a team in Southend-on-Sea, but after pleading guilty to indecently assaulting boys he was sentenced to 18 months. He moved to Ipswich, changed his name and started up another club.

Around 43,000 clubs are currently affiliated to the Football Association (FA). The chairman of Suffolk FA told the programme: “No checks would necessarily be made on their background unless we were particularly suspicious.”

In 2005, the Observer reported: “Child abusers who shame British football.”

The mother’s voice trembles as she describes the night her 14-year-old son was sexually assaulted at the home of a referee he had befriended on a FA course.

‘He fled from the house at 4am wearing just his trainers, a fleece and his boxer shorts because the man had hidden his clothes. He called 999. It was terrible,’ she says. ‘It’s a parent’s worst nightmare and for my son it’s a life sentence.’

Over pages 4 and 5 in the Mirror, we learn that more than 20 players have now made accusations they were abused. The paper lists clubs implicated: Leeds United, Blackpool, Manchester City, Stoke City, Newcastle United and Crewe Alexandra.

In the Mail, on page 10, we learn that the FA is to launch an independent inquiry into the abuse scandal. On page 75, Martin Samuel writes:

“It is false to speak of past crimes or misdemeanours as historic. Football clubs mine those centuries, milk them for all they are worth, certainly in commercial terms. They are not directly responsible for events that happened decades ago; but are not separate to them, either. The duty of care extends way beyond the present day.”

Some victims will come forward. Not all will. In 2012, we read in the Telegraph of the late Gary Speed:

As a junior player, the Wales football manager, who committed suicide last November, was considered “special” by Barry Bennell and stayed at his house as a child.

Can we make a link between Gary Speed and Bennell on anything but speculation?

The coroner returned a narrative verdict after deciding it was impossible to determine whether the 42-year-old had intended to end his life. Mrs Speed’s lawyers, Harbottle & Lewis, denied that his death was linked to Bennell.

The lawyers issued a statement to The Sunday Times Magazine: “Whilst Gary Speed knew Mr Bennell through football connections, he was not a ‘victim’ and thus played no part in the investigation. The Speed family have been assured that the police investigation at the time was exceptionally thorough and there is no legitimate reason to link Mr Bennell to Mr Speed.”

Nonetheless the Mail makes a link to Bennell and suicide:

At least one of the agencies working on the fallout from the scandal is examining the possibility that there may have been multiple suicides among players who were coached by Bennell.

And then there is this:

Former Wales manager Gary Speed took his own life five years ago this week. Speed’s family have said he was ‘not a victim’ of Bennell, as far as they are aware

 

The Mail seems to be ignoring the word of the family to make a link where no proof of one exists.

The Mirror adds: “Tragic Gary Speed stayed at paedophile coach Barry Bennell’s home but was ‘too clever’ to be victim, says dad.”

Gary speed’s father, Roger Speed, had been talking to the Telegraph. It headlined the story “Was Gary Speed a victim of sex abuser Barry Bennell?”

It’s an unpleasant story. Roger Speed lost his son and is now being asked to speculate. The Mirror notes: ” During his interview with The Telegraph, Roger also said he does not believe his family will ever get the answers they want over his son’s passing.”

Karen Strike

Posted: 28th, November 2016 | In: Reviews, Sports | Comment

Cardiff’s plastic Christmas tree is cheaper than a white elephant

Cardiff council has invested £30,000 renting the biggest Christmas tree in the country.

At 40 metres the fake tree made of metal, plastic and more plastic would have been the envy of every municipal council in the land. But something went wrong and the tree if only 40ft high.

The tree, made in China, was hired for £10,000 a year on a three-year contract.

The council has yet to put an ‘angel’ on the tree but the city’s head of parks and gardens is being lubed up as we write.

Anorak

Posted: 28th, November 2016 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment

Football paedophile panic: Hundreds becomes thousands as Barry Bennell grows ever more prolific

The Mail leads with the football sex abuse story. “THERE COULD BE THOUSANDS” thunders the paper’s lead sports story.

Be in no doubt it’s getting worse. Earlier in the week it was “hundreds”.

The hundreds and thousands are not the paedophiles working as football coaches who abused young players – although given the nature of the reporting, they might be – but the victims.

The Mirror’s front-page story was based on words by their columnist Robbie Savage, who was a youngster at Crewe Alexandra, where convicted paedophile Barry Bennell coached. Bennell has served three prison sentences, amounting to 15 years, since 1994 for many offences committed against boys.

Says Savage: “Sometimes I’d go into training on a Monday and hear some of the lads say, ‘I stayed at Barry’s at the weekend.’ And I’d be thinking, ‘Why not me? Why didn’t he ask me? Am I not a good enough player? Have I done something wrong?’ Of course, I now know what happened to some of those boys and I know I’m one of the lucky ones but, at the time, that’s what went through my mind.”

He then speculates: “We need to know how many more Barry Bennells are out there. And how many victims are still suffering because of what happened to them.”

And from Savage’s guesstimate of hundreds, we turn to the Mail’s “thousands”. “Thousands of young footballers could have been abused by a nationwide paedophile ring,” says the Mail today.

The number is provided by former Manchester City youth player Jason Dunford, “who says he was targeted” by Barry Bennell:

‘There could be thousands of boys abused and I’m not exaggerating,’ said Dunford, who had fought off Bennell as a 13-year-old schoolboy at a Butlin’s camp.

Dunford came forward after Andy Woodward, a former Crewe player who was abused by Bennell, gave an account of his own experiences… triggering an earthquake within the game.

‘Andy has not even touched the surface with telling his own stories,’ added Dunford. ‘He told how he had been on a camp to Gran Canaria and Bennell had a different boy every night. So take the school holidays, training nights, tournaments. Over 30 years, it absolutely could be thousands.’

The story of depraved criminality has taken on a life of its own.

What of the police? Four police forces are not involved in the investigation.

The Metropolitan Police, Britain’s biggest force, said it “has received information relating to non-recent sexual abuse in football clubs in London”…

Hampshire Police said its detectives are investigating non-recent child abuse “within the football community”.

Cheshire Police said it had received ”a growing number of disclosures” and that allegations have been “made against more than one individual”…

Northumbria Police said it was investigating an allegation by an unnamed former Newcastle United player that he was abused in the club’s youth system.

The Guardian also leads with the story.

The story runs:

Crewe Alexandra, the club most heavily implicated in the Barry Bennell case, were warned he had sexually abused one of his junior footballers but allowed the man who turned out to be a serial paedophile to stay at the club for a number of years, the Guardian has been told…

Hamilton Smith, who was on the board from 1986 to early 1990, has told this newspaper he was so concerned at the time he asked for specially convened talks about concerns over Bennell’s relationship with young boys at the club and, specifically, to inform his colleagues that someone had marched over to him at a junior football match to allege that a friend’s son had been abused.

Crewe, we learn, “have declined to comment.”

Such are the facts.

Karen Strike

Posted: 26th, November 2016 | In: Back pages, Reviews | Comment

The Hatcham College and Deptford Green School fight and the knife that came and went

In “KIDS V COPS”, the Sun leads with an ugly incident in London’s New Cross. Around 30 schoolchildren attacked two police officers (one male, one female) in a “picture to shock even lawless Britain”. Bit overdoing it?

The images and footage are bad. The male police officer is dragged away from restraining a suspect on a car bonnet and floored by a gang of scrotes. But it’s not lawless. More police arrive and take the youth to the station. The officer’s head is “repeatedly stamped on”.

The story goes that two girls – one from Hatcham College and another from Deptford Green School – has arranged a fight. “A man believed to be a teacher intervened and there was a tense stand off before police reinforcements arrived and the male victim could be taken to hospital with severe bruising,” says the Sun. The paper calls the man a “brave teacher”.

Ken Marsh, chairman of the Metropolitan Police Federation branch, says the officers did not pull their batons because “they could have been accused of going over the top with school children and subjected to complaints”.

Were any weapons involved?

The Sun says: “One member of the crowd was said to have been spotted with a knife.”

The Star adds a bit more: “One boy was thought to be carrying a large knife but when the two officers confronted him, they were turned upon.”

The Mail: “They were on a routine patrol of the area when they noticed a large knife being concealed by a young male.”

The BBC: “The pair had approached the group after noticing one of the youths was trying to conceal a large knife.”

How old was the youth taken away?

The Star: “A 15-year-old boy was arrested on suspicion of causing actual bodily harm and was bailed to a dad.”

The Sun: “A 15-year-old boy was arrested on suspicion of causing actual bodily harm and was bailed.”

Russia investigates.

A dad. But no knife. Well, not unless you get your news from overseas.

Russia Today picks up the story: “…this latest incident is an indication of increasingly fraught relations between London’s police force and its youth.”

And the knife? “Two police officers on patrol in the area intervened when they noticed a large knife being concealed by a young male.

Anyone else see the knife?

Karen Strike

Posted: 25th, November 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment

Dr Morton’s rings The Donald Trump Death Cult

More on the Donald Trump Death Cult – an occasional look at media chatter on Trump’s demise. The Star being news that the US President-elect will “DIE ON THE JOB”. Jeff Farrell hears that that Trump is at “Significant risk” of dying – “if the workload as the next US president does not give him a heart attack, his missus could”.

This news comes from two medics.

First up is Dr Karen Morton, billed as a “cardiologist”. There is no word that she’s ever met Trump let alone treated him. But Dr Karen has seen enough to tells us that Melania Trump will “make certain demands as a young woman in her prime”. Lest you think Dr Karen is a ghoul, she adds, “Let’s hope he doesn’t die on the job.”

The second expert is Dr Patrick Heck. He’s quoted as having told a medial conference: “He [Trump] is surely at a significant risk of a heart attack”.

Over the Express, Dr Karen is no longer a cardiologist, but “Gynaecologist Dr Karen Morton, of Dr Mortons”.

Dr Morton’s is a private medial service. We were quoted a fee of £10 per minute to speak to a doctor, after registering. An email consultation will set us back £25. The receptionist told us that, to the best of her knowledge, Dr Morton has not treated Donald Trump, father to a young child who will be surely delighted to know that such fine minds are discussing his dad’s death in the media.

It’s all done in the best possible taste, of course.

Karen Strike

Posted: 24th, November 2016 | In: Politicians, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment

Raw chicken gives you E.Coli and makes your cancer worse, says a Daily Mail scare story

Chickens. If you eat them raw, you might get ill. It’s a lucky dip. The Daily Mail leads with news that 2 in 3 chickens sold in “British stores” have a superbug. The small print tells readers that the superbug is E.coli and its resistant to antibiotics.

Readers of the Scottish Daily Mail get a different version. In Scotland “half of fresh chicken sold in Scottish stores” is infected with the “e.coli superbug”.

Whatever the geographic differences in contaminated chickens, the issue is getting worse. In September, the Mail said it was one in four chickens.

Over in today’s Sun, the story is that “most” chickens have the bug. But the paper is not as terrified as the Mail, noting early in the story.

The strain of the infectious bug has developed a resistance to some antibiotics, meaning people who fall ill could be more difficult to treat. It is not the killer O157 food poisoning strain and does not cause the usual diarrhoea and vomiting.

Compare that to the Mail’s opening lines:

Two-thirds of the fresh chicken sold in British stores is contaminated with an E.coli superbug, according to experts. The scale is far higher than previous studies have shown and points to a serious public health threat.

The Mail, as ever, links the bug to cancer:

The alarming effects of the antibiotic-resistant strain of E.coli come when you get ill. Someone infected by chicken a few years earlier, who then ends up having chemotherapy for cancer, or surgery, is vulnerable to infections such as pneumonia, which then cannot be properly fought with antibiotics.

You can avoid illness by washing your hands after handling raw chicken and cooking the meat. The Food Standards Agency tell us:

Don’t wash raw chicken: Cooking will kill any bacteria present, including campylobacter, while washing chicken can spread germs by splashing.

Panic over.

Karen Strike

Posted: 21st, November 2016 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comment

Alleged rape victim arrested for illicit sex reminds that Dubai is an intolerant hellhole

Hey, holidaymakers. Next time you think of taking the sun in Dubai, try to remember that the place is run by lunatics. A British woman who told Dubai police she’d been raped by two men has been arrested for having extra-marital sex.

The Foreign Office says: “We are supporting a British woman in relation to this case and will remain in contact with her family.”

You can support her, too, by not going on holiday to Dubai.

Human Rights Watch tells us of the family winter sun spot:

The government arbitrarily detains, and in some cases forcibly disappears, individuals who criticized the authorities, and its security forces face allegations of torturing detainees.

That’s just the first line.

Karen Strike

Posted: 17th, November 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Meghan Markle and Jamie Vardy in ridiculous tabloid plot

Meghan Markle is to play Jamie Vardy’s wife in a film. Well, so says the Daily Star. And who better than Prince Harry’s latest flame to pump the air as her man scores for Leicester City.

In scene 1, the actress is speaking to the News of the World. It’s 2001. “He had great muscles and I thought he’d be a great lover,” she says. “He was the worst lover I have ever had. He didn’t even attempt to satisfy me.” Whoah. Stop nodding Chelsy Davy. Meghan is reading the script from Rebekah Vardy’s insight into her time with sentimental pop acorn Peter Andre.

Of course it’s utter tosh. Markle has not been given the role. The Star only “reckons” Meghan would make a good Rebekah. After all both are dark hairs divorcees with a random ‘h’ in their names.

But being light on facts fails to stop the story gaining momentum. “Prince Harry’s girl Meghan Markle will play Jamie Vardy’s wife in new movie,” thunders the Mirror.  “Meghan Markle being lined up to play Jamie Vardy’s wife in Hollywood flick,” cries the Sun.

The Mirror nails how Hollywood casting work when it says, “with Meghan being 35-years-old, she’s just one year older thank Rebekah so would be well suited to playing the Leicester City hero’s missus.” The Sun’s story is based on the Mirror’s story, which is based on the Star’s story – which is based on not a single attributable quote or fact.

Rebekah Vardy is 34.

Anorak

Posted: 15th, November 2016 | In: Celebrities, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment

Karen Danczuk pulls a leg of pork

The Sun spots Karen Danczuk kissing her new flame, David, 26. Karen, once billed as the ‘selfie Queen’ in all media and estranged from Labour MP Simon Danczuk, is spotted by Rochdale’s busy paparazzi stood by a doorway with her new “Spanish waiter lover”.

The Sun says David has “started moving his things in” to Karen’s place. What things the Sun enlarged on. Readers are told, Karen “helped her new man carry in chairs, boxes, suitcases and a leg of pork“.

Who says romance is dead?

Karen Strike

Posted: 14th, November 2016 | In: Celebrities, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment

Men use tattoos to attract other men, scientists find

When Andrzej Galbarczyk, a researcher at Jagiellonian University’s Institute of Public Health, and Anna Ziomkiewicz, a Fulbright Scholar and Assistant Professor at Polish Academy of Sciences
Wrocław, studied the effects of tattoos on human thinking, the Times saw the results and declared:

Tattoos do make men more attractive to women, scientists have discovered.

The Daily Star added one day later

Calling all men: Tattoos will land you the girl of your dreams

Really?

This is the missive about that research:

We photographed nine shirtless men without tattoos from the waist up. We digitally modified these pictures by adding a black arm tattoo with an abstract, neutral design. We asked heterosexual women and men to rate a randomly selected version of each photo in several categories. Data were collected from 2463 women and 234 men from Poland by an online survey.

Women rated modified versions of the pictures as healthier but not more or less attractive than the original. Inversely, men rated modified version of pictures as more attractive but not more or less healthy than the original. Both men and women rated pictures of men with a tattoo as more masculine, dominant and aggressive.

Women are not more attracted to men with tattoos. But can we agree that men are?

And now the part the newspapers republished:

Our results identify two important sexual selection mechanisms that may support tattooing in humans. First, women perceive tattoos as a signal of good health, masculinity, and dominance. They may thus favour tattooed men as more valuable partners with potentially better health and higher social rank.

Second, men perceive tattoos as a signal of attractiveness, masculinity and dominance. Therefore, they may assess those traits as qualities of stronger and more successful same-sex rival.

In short: tattooed men fancy themselves

Karen Strike

Posted: 14th, November 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment

Meghan Markle: the exclusive death threats that have nothing to do with Prince Harry

Meghan Markle might no longer be in the UK, but Prince Harry Baseball-Cap’s “girl” is all over the Mail’s front page.

It is an “exclusive encounter” with Meghan Markle.

Scoop or what?

It’s only been a few days since Harry was complaining about the Press treating the celebrity Prince like a celebrity and abusing his lover. He is upset by “reporters and photographers trying to gain illegal entry to Meghan’s home”. Should we feel sympathy for Meghan? It’s “preposterous to claim that the publicity-hungry Ms Markle is a hapless victim,” said Sarah Vine in the Mail

Now Meghan’s talking to the Mail!

No. She isn’t. She spoke with Piers Morgan in June “months before the world learned about her Royal relationship”.

Words about Harry in this front-page exclusive? None.

So if not Prince Harry, what did she talk about?

Meghan revealed some more obscure secrets about herself – such as the fact that she is a trained calligrapher who wrote the invitation cards and envelopes for pop singer Robin Thicke’s 2005 wedding.

Is that like the secret she revealed in 2014, when she told Fashion:

“I could either wait tables or use a skill I had that I could do on my own time,” she says. Markle’s calligraphy led to her addressing envelopes for Robin Thicke and Paula Patton’s wedding and writing Dolce & Gabbana’s holiday correspondence.

And the death threats? The Mail reports:

…she was bombarded with hate messages when her character in the US drama series Suits, Rachel Zane, cheated on her boyfriend in the show.  She said: ‘People wanted to kill me! Not Rachel… ME. I never knew there were so many emojis with guns and knives. It was very unpleasant. Fortunately, Rachel got back on her pedestal and it stopped.’

“Prince Harry’s girlfriend Meghan Markle’s terrifying death threats,” screams the Daily Mirror. But those threats were nothing to do with her dating Prince Harry.

Elsewhere in today’s Mail, you can read:

The Mail exclusively revealed images of Meghan this week out in Kensington, near Harry’s home at Kensington Palace.

Time to once again revisit the pledge made by the Mail on 8 September 1997, eight days after the death of Princess Diana:

“The proprietor of the Daily Mail, Mail on Sunday and Evening Standard announced last night that his papers will not in future purchase pictures taken by paparazzi

“Viscount Rothermere, chairman of the Daily Mail and General Trust plc said: ‘I am, and always have been, an admirer of Diana, Princess of Wales, and nagged my editors to protect her so far as they could against her powerful enemies. In view of Earl Spencer’s strong words and my own sense of outrage, I have instructed my editors no ‘paparazzi’ pictures are to be purchased without my knowledge and consent.'”

Meghan is now back in her native Canada.

Best of luck to her.

Karen Strike

Posted: 13th, November 2016 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Reviews, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comment (1)

Police arrest man operating 420 marijuana vending cart

The absurd laws that make marijuana illegal continue to impinge of lives. In Victoria, Canada, police spotted a 22-year-old man operating what appeared to be a marijuana delivery service.

The suspect’s cart cried the legends “420 delivery, no minors”.

Lest you think this a stunt, know that police officers found the man to be in possession of 50 grams of weed. As he awaits a December court date, we wonder why weed is illegal in Canada?

In April 2016, Canada’s health minister, Jane Philpott, opined: “We will introduce legislation in spring 2017 that ensures we keep marijuana out of the hands of children and profits out of the hands of criminals. We will work with law enforcement partners to encourage appropriate and proportionate criminal justice measures. We know it is impossible to arrest our way out of this problem.”

So why bother?

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s Liberal Party declared:

Canada’s current system of marijuana prohibition does not work. It does not prevent young people from using marijuana and too many Canadians end up with criminal records for possessing small amounts of the drug.

See above.

…We will remove marijuana consumption and incidental possession from the Criminal Code…

So will everyone arrested for possession of the stinking weed get a pardon when the new laws are passed?

Karen Strike

Posted: 12th, November 2016 | In: Reviews | Comments (3)

Guardian journalist on Donald Trump: ‘It’s about time for Presidential assassination’

Did you see this tweet from Guardian journalist Monisha Rajesh, who also writes for New York Times? Order Order claims to have spotted the tweet from the “Train columnist at The Sunday Telegraph”:

Of course, that doesn’t men she is plotting to kill Trump. But, if true, it appears to monumentally stupid.

And she’s a freelance, not a Guardian staffer.

Anyhow, Anorak Law is a go: as soon as an American gain power the media discuss their murder.

The Donald Trump Death Cult is up and running.

Anorak

Posted: 11th, November 2016 | In: Politicians, Reviews | Comments (2)

The Donald Trump Death Cult is up and running

When Barack Obama was elected US President in 2008, the news cycle was full of stories of his imminent assassination. We called it the Barack Obama Death Cult. Today we get a look at the assassination of President-elect Donald Trump. The Daily Star leads with news that “TRIUMP’S A DEAD MAN WALKING”.

Grassy Knoll writes in the Star of a “series of  threats to gun him down”. Knoll, aka Ross Kaniuk, says would-be killers have made their threats on twitter. One tweeter notes;” My mum is talking about assassinating Donald Trump. Watch out guy my white suburban mother is coming for you.”

She’d best be slim, blonde and young if she wants to get close to The Don.

In other news: no-one shot Barack Obama.

Karen Strike

Posted: 11th, November 2016 | In: Politicians, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment

Grab Her By The Pussy: Donald Trump inspires tabloid sex crimes and porn

It’s Day 1 in the World According to Donald Trump and already his fellow reality TV stars are feeling the aftershock. President Trump’s catchphrase – “Grab her by the pussy” – is all over the Daily Star.

“Cami  Lee sexually assaulted: Big Brother star molested as boyfriend slept beside her,” says the paper.

Like most of you, we too have no idea who Cami Lee is. Helpfully, she recognises this and introduces herself.

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Cami Li, reporting live from Las Vegas. Think tatts, boobs, and more opinions than Katie Hopkins and Piers Morgan put together.

Are her boobs larger than Morgan’s? Dunno. Is she tattier than Hopkins? Not sure? Is she cheaper to have write for your organ than both of them? Says Cami:

So, what could I possibly have to talk about? Well, a f*** load of s***.

If Cami is cheaper that Hopkins and Morgan, and paid by the word, swearing just cost her a couple of quid. She then goes into flashback mode. It’s a deeply unpleasant story.

I, for one, became more passionate about politics after these five (now infamous words) were splashed across the world, “grab her by the p****”.

Cami is in bed. A man is in her room. He is making unwelcome advances.

The freak of nature slips his hands under my jeans, caresses my butt, then tries to make his way to the motherland. He attempts to slide one finger, and for once, I am thankful I ate too much and am bloated with wine, as my jeans are too tight, with little room to move around.

Once he realises he wouldn’t get away with his perversion without waking me up, he retreats. While the ordeal may’ve lasted a few minutes, it has scarred me for an eternity.

After this alleged assault, Cami relates a bout of violence with the middle-aged “beast”. “My boyfriend punched him, knocked him to ground, then the door was slammed repeatedly,” she writes. “Open, close, open, close, open, close.” Next days the man seeks medical help for a broken eye-socket

Cami says she old the authorities but a lack of funds meant she was unable to pursue the matter further. “At that time in my life, I wasn’t financially able to retain a lawyer and fight this rich couple, so I had to hang my head in defeat and walk away,” she writes.

Cami concludes her tale:

Take a step back, look in the mirror, male or female, we’re the change the world needs to see. Women’s rights are human rights. There are too many Donald Trumps in this world.

In other unrelated news, we read that back in April, Daily Star owner Richard Desmond “cut his last remaining ties to the pornography industry, selling adult entertainment channels including Television X, Viewers’ Wives and Red Hot.”

Good for him. Those channels have not alway shown the good stuff.

The Guardian reported:

A viewer of adult subscription channel Television X had complained after a baby’s legs were caught on camera for a few seconds in the background of a scene in which three women were simulating lesbian sex. The baby could also be heard out of shot, gurgling and crying, later in the scene, which was filmed in a bedroom for Television X’s Viewers’ Tapes programme.

The channel apologised.

This week you can watch on Channel X:

Sexual Predator: “Jay Romer came for the thrill of the hunt… to f*** his female prey. In his sexual underworld there are no rules, just his desire to ravage beautiful women… Through the urban London jungle Jason poses as a photographer to bang Michelle B. he acts as a barman to plough into Elizabeth Michelle Lawrence… He buries his thick **** into Evie’s tight hole while still looking for his next victim!“

Looks like women were victims before Trump came along.

Karen Strike

Posted: 10th, November 2016 | In: Celebrities, Politicians, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment

Meghan Markle: sex, a ginger Royal line gets crossed and Prince Harry’s moan

Prince Harry is dating American actress Meghan Markle. And he’s unhappy with the media. The celebrity Royal doesn’t much like journalists behaving like, well, journalists. Kensington Palace say the Press have subjected Markle to a “wave of abuse and harassment”. It says “the past week has seen a line crossed”.

The BBC notes: “In recent days a number of newspapers have carried front page stories about the 35-year-old actress, best known for playing Rachel Zane in the TV drama Suits.”

Tsk! Those pesky tabloids, eh. Nothing like the BBC, which punctuates that news with a link to “Who is Meghan Markle?” The Times has more with “Everything you (secretly) wanted to know about Prince Harry’s ‘friend’”.

The Beeb’s bio tells us Megan has really good handwriting, was married and is now divorced, and is mixed race.

The Daily Telegraph wonders, “Could Harry marry a divorcee (when Margaret couldn’t)?”.

In the Times Hilary Rose reviews Markle’s acting role in Suits (something the Sun likens to porn – see picture below): “The show seems mainly to consist of pretty people saying inane things with the utmost gravity which, when you think about it, is pretty much what the royal family do.”

Yes, but with more guns.

The prince’s communications secretary warns (and is that very much like a celebrity to talk through ‘my people’):

“His girlfriend, Meghan Markle, has been subject to a wave of abuse and harassment. Some of this has been very public – the smear on the front page of a national newspaper; the racial undertones of comment pieces; and the outright sexism and racism of social media trolls and web article comments.

“Some of it has been hidden from the public – the nightly legal battles to keep defamatory stories out of papers; her mother having to struggle past photographers in order to get to her front door; the attempts of reporters and photographers to gain illegal entry to her home and the calls to police that followed; the substantial bribes offered by papers to her ex-boyfriend; the bombardment of nearly every friend, co-worker, and loved one in her life.”

 

The Guardian fingers the Sun:

Sun’s ‘smear’ about actor’s links to adult website prompts statement in which royal attacks reports’ ‘racial undertones’

Nothing like the Guardian, then, which reported:

Who she? She’s an actor, very beautiful, 35 years old. You might know her as Rachel Zane from the legal drama Suits.

I don’t. Never mind. She’s also … how can I put this?

As long as she’s not a divorced American. The royal family has had enough of them after that Wallis Simpson business. Actually, that’s exactly what she is. But I was thinking of something else.

Harry’s not going to be king, so maybe it will be OK as long as she behaves herself and offers up her body as a vessel for the royal bloodline. That’s the thing. Markle is dual-heritage. Her father is white and her mother is African American.

So? Look, most of the 20th century was a mistake and we want racial superiority back. We had a referendum about it, remember?

After the Guardian has looked down on the tabloids and smeared pro-Brexit voters as bigots (plus ca change), we hear more from Harry’s “cry from the heart” (BBC):

“He knows commentators will say this is ‘the price she has to pay’ and that ‘this is all part of the game’. He strongly disagrees. This is not a game – it is her life and his. He has asked for this statement to be issued in the hopes that those in the press who have been driving this story can pause and reflect before any further damage is done. He knows that it is unusual to issue a statement like this, but hopes that fair-minded people will understand why he has felt it necessary to speak publicly.”

 

The Guardian then fingers the Mail:

One comment piece in last weekend’s Mail on Sunday, by Rachel Johnson, said: “Genetically, she is blessed. If there is issue from her alleged union with Prince Harry, the Windsors will thicken their watery, thin blue blood and Spencer pale skin and ginger hair with some rich and exotic DNA.”

That’s racist? No. Of course it isn’t. Unless you think it nasty to mention Harry’s watery blood and accuse Johnson of gingerism?

The Guardian is in an absurd position. It wants to protect royal Harry from those awful tabloids, but has told its readers “Forelock-tugging is all the rage thanks to Harry and Kate” and that Princess Kate is trapped in a “cliched gilded cage”.

that;s the problem, isn’t it: Harry doesn’t behave like a Royal. He, Kate and Wills behave like celebrities. They don’t patronise; they endorse.

Harry and his PR team continue:

“Since he was young, Prince Harry has been very aware of the warmth that has been extended to him by members of the public. He feels lucky to have so many people supporting him and knows what a fortunate and privileged life he leads. He is also aware that there is significant curiosity about his private life.

“He has never been comfortable with this, but he has tried to develop a thick skin about the level of media interest that comes with it. He has rarely taken formal action on the very regular publication of fictional stories that are written about him and he has worked hard to develop a professional relationship with the media, focused on his work and the issues he cares about.

“But the past week has seen a line crossed.”

A red line? Or is it a ginger line that’s being crossed?

Anorak

Posted: 8th, November 2016 | In: Celebrities, Reviews, Royal Family | Comment

Game of Thrones spoilers

Books. Ever hear of them?  The Sun says “SHOCK LEAK Game of Thrones fans sent into a frenzy as ‘entire plot for season seven leaks online’”. Games of Thrones is based on a series of books by George R.R. Martin. If you want to know what happens in the TV version, why not just, you know, read the books?

Yes, yes, the TV version does differ from the books. Producer David Benioff says the show is “about adapting the series as a whole and following the map George laid out for us and hitting the major milestones, but not necessarily each of the stops along the way”. But you get the gist of the plot.

The Mail says “a Reddit user going by the name awayforthelads posted an enormous list of very detailed spoilers”.

How do we know to trust awayforthelads? Maybe they made it up? After all, the Sun looks at the leaks and says it is”reveals a pregnancy and a saucy romp between two main characters”. Sex in Game of Thrones is like the weather at the end of the evening news. It’s expected. As for a pregnancy, the show is about dynasties. Kids are part of the process.

And then comes the truly conniving part: the Mail wants to turn the taps open on that leak.

If you want to read the leaks, you can, of course. If you enjoy escapism, you might want to pass over the leaks and just wait for the entertainment.

Karen Strike

Posted: 8th, November 2016 | In: Books, Reviews, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment

Drones can hack your lightbulbs from 1000 feet overhead

Drones can hack your lightbulbs. It’s true. It sounds mad to say it, granted. But it’s true. PC World reports on a cyber attack on your so-called smart bulbs:

Researchers were able to take control of some Philips Hue lights using a drone. Based on an exploit for the ZigBee Light Link Touchlink system, white hat hackers were able to remotely control the Hue lights via drone and cause them to blink S-O-S in Morse code.

The drone carried out the attack from more than a thousand feet away.

If they can blink for help, presumably they can also be turned off and on in, say, an attack by an enemy? The war-time command to “Put that light out” would be null and void if the enemy was controlling the things.

“There is no other method of reprogramming these [infected] devices without full disassemble (which is not feasible). Any old stock would also need to be recalled, as any devices with vulnerable firmware can be infected as soon as power is applied,” according to the researchers.

Apparently, the Israeli and Canadian researchers have informed Philips of the design flaw and it’s been “patched”.

Isn’t technology marvellous.

Spotter: iotWorm

Anorak

Posted: 7th, November 2016 | In: Reviews, Technology | Comment

Make Your Own ‘Mazel Tov Cocktails’ With Scottie Nell Hughes

Scottie Nell Hughes was talking to CNN about Hillary Clinton’s props Jay Z and Beyoncé. She made a reference to Jay Z and Kanye West’s 2012 video for “No Church in the Wild. It features a ‘Mazel Tov’ cocktail.