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Royal Family | Anorak - Part 20

Royal Family Category

The Royal Family, the House of Windsor, in the news and on a horse

Queen Invites Arab Despots To Royal Wedding: Gaddafi Guest Of Tony Blair?

WHERE does the Royal Family stand on democracy? Broadly for it? Or is the Queen not that bothered? She can vote, but it may be considered unconstitutional. Anyhow:

David Cameron spoke by phone to King Hamad bin Isa al-Khalifa last night. During the conversation he expressed his serious concern at the deteriorating situation on the ground and called for restraint on all sides. – Number 10

The King of Jordan, the Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi, the Sultan of Oman, the King of Bahrain, the Sultan of Brunei and the King of Saudi Arabia as well as the Emperor of Japan, the King of Malaysia, the King of Tonga and the King of Thailand- are all being invited to attend William and Kate’s big day. – All The Voices

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Posted: 21st, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comments (4)


Royal Wedding Tat Watch: Champagne Tea At Highgrove House

ROYAL Wedding Tat Watch pays a visit to Prince Charles’ Highgrove shoppe. Who fancies a Wedding Celebration Champagne Tea Garden Tour?

Yumm. Champagne tea? Is that like Irish tea, only for knobs?

A special celebration Champagne tea at Highgrove on 26th April 2011 to commemorate the Royal Wedding of HRH Prince William and Catherine Middleton. Enjoy a tour of the Gardens at Highgrove followed by a special Champagne Afternoon Tea served in the Orchard Room.

There will be a maximum of 16 guests per garden tour which will be led by one of HRH The Prince of Wales’s garden guides and last approximately two hours. 32 guests in total will be seated for tea.

This special celebration tea tour is available on Tuesday 26th April 2011 only.

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Posted: 21st, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Prince William In Australia: Photos Of ‘Our Shining Prince’

PRINCE William is in Australia. Someone held up a sign that called William “OUR SHINING PRINCE”. Is that a bit OTT? Not a bit of it. Here’s what others have said:

“Each and every one us will be deeply affected by the looming royal marriage…” – Peter Oborne, Daily Telegraph

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Posted: 20th, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Royal Wedding Tat Watch: The Princess Catherine Figurine

KATE Middelton is now a figurine. While not yet in the mould of the Princess Diana love doll, the Princess Catherine Fashion Figurine is “exquisitely handcrafted and hand-painted to elegantly portray Kate Middleton in her most glamorous ensembles”.

It is the first of many:

Collectors will receive a new Kate Middleton figurine each month, including “Officially Elegant,” which features the blushing bride-to-be in the ivory dress worn for her official engagement photos with Prince William. A new figurine is scheduled to come out about every four weeks and will include a figurine of Miss Middleton in her wedding gown. Each measures about 7 1/4 inches high, is hand-numbered and comes with a matching Certificate of Authenticity. Editions are limited to 95 casting days. The collection is available at The Hamilton Collection website…”

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Posted: 19th, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Jersey Man Pay’s £78,000 For Kate Middleton Old Dress (Still Warm And Unwashed?)

THE man who bought Kate Middleton’s see-through dress for £78,000 is Jersey’s Nicky Roberts. He’s the nephew of Jersey David Gainsborough-Roberts owners of the world’s largest genuine collection of Monroe second-hands goods, aka memorabilia.

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Posted: 19th, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment


Princess Diana Lives: Monica Ali Explores The Sixth Floor Of Harvey Nichols

MONICA Ali’s Untold Story muses on Princess Diana, and whether or not the celebrity princess faked her own death in August 1997.

Ali tells Mail readers:

My princess is a fictional character, based on Diana. She fulfils her fantasy and ten years on, living in a small town in the United States, she flicks through magazines searching for pictures from London, for a glimpse of her old life.

Ali might hope her book is stocked in Harvey Nichols, Diana’s favourite department store in London’s Knightsbridge – although her brand loyalty stretched only so far because Di did shag another local shop owner’s son.

Anyhow, if the book is stocked at Nichol’s, the woman who lives on the fabled Sixth Floor amid the racks, shoes, bags and Duran Duran LPs need not order it in….

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The Prince and Princess of Wales at Buckingham Palace with their son Prince William on the day of his christening.

Posted: 18th, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Prince William’s Bachelor Trip To New Zealand: Photos

PRINCE William is in New Zealand. He’s not with Kate Middleton. She’s a wedding to plan. And if they travel abroad, sleeping arrangements may be an issue. They currently live in sin in North Wales, well away from God. (Enjoy photos 1, featuring an admirable moustache and a Royal rebel with his hands stuffed in his pockets and his sunglasses pulled down. Wars have been waged for less.)

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Prince William talks to firefighters during a visit to the earthquake-damaged seaside town of Sumner, on the outskirts of Christchurch, New Zealand.

Posted: 18th, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Prince Charles Takes A Taxi: An Ideal Home Show Exhibition

SAY what you like about Prince Charles, that grinning, simpering, hypocritical, mentally negligible twat, he gives great photos. We spotted the Prince of Wales having his photograph taken inside a decorated black cab during his visit to the Ideal Home Show at Earls Court. Enjoy the photos of your future King. And feel free to weep…

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The Prince of Wales has his photograph taken inside a decorated black cab designed as a photobooth during his visit to the Ideal Home Show at Earls Court in London today.

Posted: 17th, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comments (3)


Prince William Wedding Mug Fail: Kate Marries Prince Harry

ROYAL Wedding Tat Watch spots a commemorative mug featuring Prince Harry in place of his brother William. This seems to be jumping the gun.

The legend reads:

“The fairytale romantic union of all the centuries. 29th April 2011.”

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Posted: 16th, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Knit Your Own Royal Wedding: Then Push It Off The Balcony

ROYAL Wedding Tat Watch: Knit your own royal wedding with Fiona Goble’s 64-page guide. Leant how to knit, corgi dogs, footmen, Prince William’s teeth, Prince Andrew’s leer, Kate Middleton’s hair, Prince Harry’s spliff (optional), Prince Charles’ knees and stick the knit wits on a balcony. After a few hundred hours of knitting you will be able to create your own Dynasty – as the Munsters tumble over the balcony…

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Posted: 16th, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Royal Wedding Tat Watch: The William And Princess Catherine Condoms

ROYAL wedding tat watch brings you the souvenir condoms. The Prince William and Kate Middleton ‘Crown Jewels ” rubber johnnies will ensure that your progeny arrives when you are good and ready.

Comes in four sizes:

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Posted: 15th, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Dublin Pub Bans Queen From Royal Wedding Screening

THE Queen’s visit to Ireland is in disarray following news that John Stokes, landlord at the Players Lounge in Fairview near Dublin city centre, has barred her. He’s spent 500 euros on a massive banner informing Her Majesty that she and her family are barred from the premises. Kate Middleton had best nip in quick smart before her name is removed from the list of approved guests.

The landlord’s view on Sarah Ferguson are not know. But if she wants to chance her arm as an ex-Royal, here’s what she can expect to see at the Players Lounge:

The Players Lounge is a sports-themed pub on Dublin’s Fairview Strand – we cover ALL major sports events, Soccer, GAA, Rugby, Racing, F1, UFC, etc. Don’t worry about different events being on at the same time, with 70 state-of-the-art Plasma TVs we have enough screens to cover all eventualities.

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Posted: 15th, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comments (5)


Royal Wedding Tat Watch: Berkshire’s Ode To Kate Middleton And Prince William

ROYAL Wedding Tat Watch: To Bucklebury, Berkshire, where Daniel Nicholls, Kate Middleton’s former piano teacher, has written as a tribute to her upcoming wedding to Prince William. Nicholls is the man who taught Kate Middleton to play the piano. And where would she be today without that skill, readers?

Tomorrow, Anorak will introduce you to the man who sold Kate her first record, followed by the man who opened her first bank account and the woman who sold Kate her first Gin And It.

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Posted: 15th, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)


The Queen Mother’s Ska And Other Criminal Records

THE Queen Mother’s record collection – not medical but musical – have been opened to the public.

Paul Hardcastle’s ode to stammering in the face of battle, n-n-n-n 19, fails to make the cut, as do All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth and Smack My Bitch Up.

Instead, the Queen’s Mum owned recordings by Rodgers & Hammerstein, Montana Slim, Paul Simon, the wartime speeches of Winston Churchill, jokes by Tony Hancock and The Goons, an LP by The Desperadoes Steel Orchestra, a song called Thank U Very Much, Elgar’s Coronation Ode, Greensleeves, a Salvation Army Band LP, Edith Piaf, Fiddler’s Dram,

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Posted: 14th, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Prince William And Prince Diana: A Gallery

IN readiness for the Royal Wedding, we’ve been flicking through the family album and have come across these photos of Prince William with his mother, the fabled Princess Diana:

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The Prince and Princess of Wales at Buckingham Palace with their son Prince William on the day of his christening.

Posted: 12th, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Royal Wedding Tat Watch: Wills And Kate’s Coffee Mates

ROYAL Wedding Tat Watch: To the International Food and Drink Exhibition 2011, where special commemorative cups of coffee featuring the faces of Prince William and Kate Middleton have been created from saliva and dandruff.

Can this effort be topped at the UK Barista Championships?

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Posted: 11th, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)


Amanda Platell’s Odious Open Letter To Soon Dead Kate Middleton

AMANDA Platell delivers an open letter via the Daily Mail to Kate Middleton. In it she beseeches the future Queen, “don’t become like Diana.”

No, not a celebrity divorcee with a love of shopping and holidays. Amanda tells us that Kate must not be “fretful” on her weeding day.  Although the “stress must be immense“. Kate do try not to think of the “millions around the world” watching your every move.

And Amanda is worried. She tells us that dear, dear, dearest, Kate is already “alarmingly thin”, a bit like the “dangerously thin” Diana was on her wedding day:

“That was the beginning of her disastrous battle with bulimia.”

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Posted: 10th, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (4)


Prince Andrew And The Paedo Cucumbers

PRINCE Andrew is the subject of the greatest front-page headline of the year. The Mirror delivers:

PRINCESSES AND THE PAEDO

The story, as Anorak told you yesterday, is that Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie met Jeffrey Epstein, the convicted sex criminal who liked his women young and, as Virginia Roberts claims, poor.

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Posted: 10th, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Will Goga Ashkenazi’s Words Inspire Us To Rise Up Slaughter Prince Andrew?

FOR the fourth day running the Daily Mail leads with Prince Andrew. Today, the randy golf bore who thought Sarah Ferguson an ideal wife is pictured with President Ilham Aliyez in Azerbaijan.

The Mail thunders:

“THE DUKE AND THE DESPOT”

This is not news. That the Duke has visited the country eight times in five years is a matte of public record. The country described as “oil rich”. It is. And because it has oil it can be linked to other oil producing nations, like Venezuela, where Libya’s Colonel Gaddafi isn’t living just now:

Azerbaijan plans to foray into markets in the Americas this spring as a part of a swap-deal between it, Belarus and Venezuela, the Azeri state energy company said on Friday.

According to a deal brokered last year, Azerbaijan will supply crude oil to Belarus on behalf of Venezuela and, in return, the Latin American country will provide its Santa Barbara oil to meet Azerbaijan’s export commitments to the Americas markets.

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Posted: 9th, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment (1)


Kate Middleton And Prince William’s Wedding Menu: Sausage Tolls And Fergie’s Cakes

THANKS to chef Darren McGrady’s interview in Hello!, we know that for Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson’s wedding, he prepared “lobster, lamb and strawberries and cream”.

(And that was just for Fergie’s massage.)

For Kate and William’s wedding, Darren says there will be 20 chefs, kitchen porters from “F branch” (Food branch) and footmen working as waiters from “G branch” (General branch).

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Posted: 8th, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1)


Prince William And Kate Middleton Visit Peaceful Northern Ireland: Photos

PRINCE William and Kate Middleton are on a visit Northern Ireland. They went to Belfast’s City Hall. Kate tossed a pancake. William tossed a pancake. No-one said anything about it landing on the crown of his head and staying there. It was all very police and civil – mainly because the entire area had been locked down and the anti-monarchists kept away. (Surely – it was because Kate and Wills are loved by all? – ed)

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Posted: 8th, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comments (3)


Prince Andrew Is Spanked: Sarah Ferguson Claims Jeffrey Epstein Abused Her

PRINCE Andrew: Having allegedly cupped the breast of a teenager called Virginia Roberts, who claims she was sexually abused by Andrew’s former friend Jeffery Epstein (they were pals as recently as last December), the Queen’s second son is in the mire. The news media reacts:

The Times (front page): “Fresh questions for Duke over links to Kazakhstan.”

The President of that country’s son, one Timur Kulibayev, bought the Duke’s £12m Sunninghill Park house for £3million over the asking price.

The paper says the place is blessed with “all the architectural charm of a Tesco superstore”. (Sarah Ferguson lives there.)

The deal was “secured” by Gaukhar Ashkenazi (aka Goga), a Kazakh socialite who earlier had accompanied Andrew to Ascot, where she met the Queen. Mr Kulibayev is the father of Goga’s son.

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Posted: 8th, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (14)


Prince Andrew To Job Share With Prince Edward

WHO would have guessed that Prince Andrew, a man with reputation for a being a womanising freeloader with a sticking balls in holes would end up embroiled in a scandal?

Someone decided that the trade envoy needed to be a royal.

Prince Edward was many people’s preferred choice but then it was pointed out that guns outsold embroidery thread by a fact of 10 to one, and he was out.

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Posted: 7th, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment (1)


Prince Andrew And Epstein: Hang The Tyrants It’s The Sex We Don’t Like

MORE proof that the Duke and Duchess of York were well suited in the Mail, which continues its investigation into Randy Andy’s relationship with billionaire paedophile Jeffery Epstein.

Having heard from three of Epstein’s women who claim to have met Prince Andrew – Virginia Roberts alleges Andy merely felt up her breast; Sarah Kellen and Nadia Marchikova aren’t telling – we now hear from one woman who Andy has most definitely shagged: The Duchess of York.

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Posted: 7th, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment (1)


When Prince Andrew Partied With Billionaire Paedophile, Sarah Kellen And Nadia Marcinkova

PRINCE Andrew, the country’s ‘Trade Envoy’, is making more news for his relationship with convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein. Andrew was recently pictured walking with billionaire Epstein in New York after the sex criminal was released from jail – he served “13 months of an 18-month sentence for soliciting prostitution from minors”. The Prince has not reacted to the stories.

But the media are gunning for him. The NoTW is careful to say:

There is no suggestion that the prince ever did anything improper.

Isn’t there? The paper then adds:

But, when quizzed under oath by lawyers, Epstein’s bedroom slave Nadia Marcinkova refused to say if she had sex with Andrew.

Well, true enough. But a refusal is an admittance of nothing. She also refused to say that she didn’t have sex with Andrew. And she could only respond to the questions put to her. The name Prince Andrew has been used deliberately. The lawyer asking her who she had sex with might have added any number of names to the question: “Did you have sex with Osama in Laden at Mr Epstein’s home last week?” I take the Fifth. And then, maybe, I sell the book and work the TV circuit.

Last week, we met Virginia Roberts, who claims she was shagging Epstein she was a minor aged 15. Now we get the second woman:

There is no evidence the Duke of York – fourth in line to the throne – had any sexual contact during his visits to Epstein’s luxurious Florida spread. But the refusal of his host’s associates to deny it raises yet more questions about his judgement.

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Posted: 6th, March 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (15)