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Royal Family | Anorak - Part 20

Royal Family Category

The Royal Family, the House of Windsor, in the news and on a horse

Sarah Ferguson Explores Her ‘Lotus Flower’ For Cash

JOBBING Royal pimp Sarah Ferguson is on Oprah Winfrey’s telly network talking about her lotus flower. No, it’s not a euphemism for her big toe, but an actual inner flower – that should not be eaten to excess lest it …

Posted: 1st, March 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Teenage Prostitute Virginia Roberts Says Prince Andrew Is A Creepy Letch: No News There

THE Duke of York, aka Randy Andy, aka Airmiles Andy,  placed his arm about the waist of 17-year-old Virginia Roberts in 2001. The photo, reproduced in the Mail, was taken in London.

At the time, Roberts worked for Jeffrey …

Posted: 28th, February 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (28) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Lady Katie Percy’s Wedding Photos: Middleton And Davy Come Too

PIPPA Middleton and Chelsy Davy were there to see Lady Catherine Percy and Patrick Valentine marry. Lady Katie is a gun maker and mechanic who says:

“I’m dying to get a machine-gun mount so I can rest a .22 on

Posted: 27th, February 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Kate Middleton’s Hairy First Engagement In Anglesey: Photos

KATE Middleton was on a visit to Anglesey for her first official engagement as Prince William’s partner. She met members of the public during a Naming Ceremony and Service of Dedication for the Royal National Lifeboat Instution’s (RNLI) new Atlantic …

Posted: 25th, February 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Royal Wedding Tat Watch: The Official Tea Towel

ROYAL Wedding Tat Watch: Introducing the tankard and tea towel. Is a china tea tankard the next big thing in tea? At £35 a pop it’s a statement. The tea towel is £7.95. Again, that’s not too cheap for a …

Posted: 22nd, February 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Royal Wedding Invitation: Photos

WANT to see the wedding invitation Prince William and Kate Middleton are sending out? Of course you do.

It’s really simple stuff. No brocade, gilding, hologram pop-up of a footman reading the invite aloud.…

Posted: 19th, February 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mexican Hunger Striker Demands Ticket For Royal Wedding: Sarah Ferguson Missing

MEXICAN monarchist “Estibalis Chavez” wants a ticket to Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding so badly that she’s set up a tent outside the British embassy in Mexico City and gone on hunger strike.

Says she:

“I have been a

Posted: 19th, February 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Queen Wears New Austerity Crown In Windsor

THE Queen was meeting pupils at King’s Court First School, in Old Windsor, Berkshire, on the occasion of its 50th anniversary. They presented her with austerity crowns. After all, we are all in this together……

Posted: 18th, February 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Royal Wedding Tat Watch: The Sick Bag

ROYAL Wedding Tat Watch: The Prince William and Kate Middleton Commemorative Sick Bag…

Spotter and maker: Lydia Leith

Posted: 16th, February 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Prince Harry Is Target Of Homophobic Abuse At Gay Club

PRINCE Harry has been to a gay bar in London’s Soho. The News of The World, enraged by former Sky Sports football pundit Andy Gray’s sexism of TV, peppers the story with these phrases:

“Ginger beer”

“…his shirt lifting

Posted: 13th, February 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Kate Middleton Kidnapped In Amersham: Royal Wedding Watch

KATE Middleton has been kidnapped in Amersham, Bucks. Was she shopping for frumpery at local boutique Amber’s of Amersham? No. Kate was in a field by hundreds of children. Persons dressed in balaclavas approached and abducted her.

Prince William is …

Posted: 12th, February 2011 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Royal Wedding Tat Watch: The JFK Julianne Moore

IS that Kate Middleton and Prince Williams on the Birmingham Mint’s Royal Wedding Coin? Or is it JFK marrying Julianne Moore..?…

Posted: 11th, February 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Prince William And Kate Middleton Are Sid And Nancy: Photo

ROYAL Wedding Art Watch: Rich Simmons has created a mural on the Southbank in London in support of the upcoming royal wedding. Prince William is Sid Vicious to Kate Middleton’s Nancy Spungen.

Vicious is thought by many to have murdered …

Posted: 10th, February 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Royal Wedding Tat Watch: Kiss Me Kate Beer

ROYAL Wedding Tat Watch: Castle Rock Brewery has created a commemorative beer called Kiss Me Kate. Castle Rock’s head brewer, Adrian Redgrove, bubble over:

Kiss Me Kate will be elegant, tasteful and British to the core. It’ll be brewed

Posted: 9th, February 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Camilla Gives Kate Middleton A Spinning Wheel

THE Duchess of Cornwall’s day out in Wiltshire was notable for three things:

1. We now know that there is a Chairman of the village shop Committee. He’s called Guy Bagnett

2. Camilla is gearing up for Prince William’s wedding …

Posted: 7th, February 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Prince William Measured For His Wick

A MEMBER of the Stephen Friedman Gallery measures a life size wax model of Prince William by the artist Jennifer Rubell on show in London.  The statue is complete with a replica of his fiancee’s sapphire and diamond engagement ring …

Posted: 7th, February 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Diplomatic Protection Squad Get Tasers To Prod The Royal Family Into Action

TOP news is that should anyone poke Camilla with a stick – and she look like she’s not enjoying it – the Diplomatic Protection Squad will zap the perp with a Taser blast. What could possibly go wrong?…

Posted: 6th, February 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Royal Wedding Condoms For Your Prince Willy

IN readiness for the wedding for Prince Williams to Kate Middleton, we invite you to sport an themed condom. As thee blurb says:

“Like a Royal Wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion.”

The condoms are brought …

Posted: 29th, January 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Kate Middleton Is Beyond Parody: Just Ask Johann Hari, Rod Liddle And Talbot Church

KATE Middleton’s lessons in being unemployed Royal are progressing well. She’s already given up he job, thus putting on an equal footing with Prince Edward. And she’s not getting classes in history form TV history pundit Andrew Roberts. This is …

Posted: 25th, January 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Kate Middleton Gives Up Work To Prepare For Life As A Royal

BIG news iss that Kate Middleton has quit her job working for the family’s party firm to “throw herself full time into planning her wedding”.

The future Queen stepped down from her role at Party Pieces just before Christmas, royal

Posted: 25th, January 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Denmark’s Crown Princess Mary And Crown Prince Frederik Have Twins: Photos

WHAT news from Denmark, land of Johnny Jensen, bacon and one bag of wool? Well, Crown Princess Mary (born Mary Elizabeth Donaldson in Australia) and Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark (born Frederik Andre Henrik Christian) are showing off their twins …

Posted: 14th, January 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Royal Wedding Route Revealed: Students Excitedly Grab Barge Poles

STUDENTS – to your marks: St James’s Palace have confirmed the route that Prince William and Kate Middleton will use when they travel to and from Westminster Abbey for their wedding.

News is that the knobs will be in open-topped …

Posted: 5th, January 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Prince Harry Spotted At PDC World Championship Of Darts: Photos And Debate

THE PDC World Championship of darts is proud to support Prince Harry. Prince Baseball Cap was with former England rugby player Will Greenwood at Alexandra Palace, London. This is one of the few palaces granny doesn’t own, but giving the …

Posted: 2nd, January 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Royal Family Christmas Photos: Prince Edward Gets Useful

SO. There they were, the Earl and Countess of Wessex – the Weed In Tweed and the former topless stunna. You can wait an entire year to see Eddie. And then, as if by magic, he’s there. It was the …

Posted: 26th, December 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Prince William’s Adam’s Apple Goes Bjork: The Royal Mint’s Coin Con

PRINCE William’s adam’s apple and lustrous hair are joined by Kate Middleton on the five pound Royal Mint celebrity wedding coin. As they say at court: Laryngeal Prominence et WTF!?…

Posted: 23rd, December 2010 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0