Royal Family Category
The Royal Family, the House of Windsor, in the news and on a horse
AFTER the epic front-page screamer, the news of how Princess Diana’s ghost told Kate Middleton: “You’re too thin!”
Peter Dyke stares into his crystal balls:
PRINCESS Diana is guiding the Duchess of Cambridge from beyond the grave, the late royal’s former spiritual counsellor says.
AND coming from Princess Diana, who hasn’t eaten a thing in ages, that’s a bit rich:
* Diana’s ghost lives on the fabled Sixth Floor of the Harvey Nichol’s Department store.
THE Royal Family cost the taxpayer £33.3m last year. Branding experts say they brought in more than £20bn.
How you regard those figures and which you choose to highlight will depend on your view of the monarchy, a subject on which few of us are ambivalent.
IN readiness for the Christening of Prince George of Cambridge, here’s a general view of the interior of the Chapel Royal at St James’s Palace in central London, where he’ll be named in God’s eyes. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s baby will be welcomed into the Christian faith surrounded by his immediate family and the close friends of his parents.
The rest of us wonder why is looks so much like a Freemason’s initiation hall, like this one at the Naval Masonic Hall in Washington? Is he joining The Family And The Brotherhood?
THE Duchess of Cambridge, Patron of SportsAid, was playing volleyball during her visit to the Copper Box at the former Olympic Park, in east London. She was there to see how young athletes are benefiting from help from one of her charities. She played some port. At one point her top rode up. The Mail seized on it. Read the rest of this entry »
Read the rest of this entry »
PRINCE Harry is getting married to Cressida Bonas (fnar!). Well, so says heat magazine, which reveals:
“Harry’s been training in Iceland . . . and has fallen in love with the country. He wants to take Cressida to the famous Ice Hotel and then pop the question.”
PLUGGING her book of fiction The Queen of Four Kingdoms (‘The epic true story of a rich and riveting period of French and English history, all witnessed by the captivating and complex heroine Yolande”), Princess Michael of Kent shows off some remarkable gems. She remains very uncommon in the Sunday Times interview:
I have a tray brought to my bedroom at 9am. Breakfast is served on my Herend china and I sit in an old armchair so I can read the papers. I have zero-fat yoghurt with cinnamon, which is meant to be a fat-burner, and a pot of ginger tea made with grated ginger. This I have with lavender honey and one plain Ryvita. Life is a battle against the expanding waistline, so some mornings I just have a fresh juice made from five vegetables that my manicurist told me about. It’s frightfully good.
THE Daily Express continues to report on the SAS and the death of Princess Diana. Today, the paper of repetition presses f9 on the keyboard to create the headline:
“DIANA: POLICE ORDERED TO HUNT FOR SAS ASSASSIN”
TODAY Buckingham Palace hosted a football match. The Duke of Cambridge and members of the Royal household were there to see Polytechnic FC take on the Civil Service FC. The Duke of Cambridge, president of the FA, helped organise the event, the first of its kind at Queen Elizabeth II’s London home, as part of the Football Association’s 150th anniversary celebrations.
The game ended in a draw: One-one-one-one-one etc…
FOLLOWING the Star’s wowsome news that Princess Diana tipped William to marry Kate Middleton despite dying four years before the couple met, the paper says “DI MURDER AUTHOR” has received threats to “shut up” or die.
ROYAL author Brian Watson received chilling death threats after claiming Princess Diana’s fatal crash was caused by assassins, he revealed last night.
Nigel Pauley adds:
The biographer says he was about to make his theory public when he got a phone call telling him: “Drop the idea if you value your family’s life.”
PRINCESS Diana. If she could see into the future, why didn’t she put her seatbelt on?
We’ll put that question to her when we catch up for tea at her home on the fabled Sixth Floor of Harvey Nichols.
As for the story, well, meet Lana Marks:
Lana, a handbag designer and Di’s closest confidante, says Kate, 31, ticks every single box set out by Diana, even down to the colour of her hair.
“Kate is absolutely everything Diana wanted,” she said. “She even said William’s wife would have dark hair. Diana wanted someone down-to-earth for William, with a close family unit so he could enjoy a normal family life. She wanted a future queen of the people, for the people.”
Such are the facts…
IT’S been pretty well established that paparazzi and the papers had a role to play in the death of Princess Diana. The Daily Mail was so contrite it famously stated that it would no longer buy paparazzi photos. And then it realised readers could see the crashed car all over the web so it went mad and bought up every paparazzi photo in the world and started ogling kids.
Today the Mail says the media had no part to play in Diana’s death whatsoever. It was the SAS wot dunnit.
PAUL Burrell is plugging his TLC show Superstars and Superfans.
From the makers of Sky1’s Pineapple Dance Studios, Superstars and Superfans follows the lives of some of the UK’s most dedicated and obsessed celebrity fans, providing a glimpse into the eccentric world of these real-life celebrity devotees, while also delving deep into the lives of the celebrities over whom the superfans obsess. What happens when their worlds collide?
This series we meet superfans including Jax who has an obsession with Shane Lynch from Boyzone and has an ‘Aladdin’s cave’ dedicated to all things Shane Lynch, she even has her very own personal fantasy world – “Lynch Land” where she meets Shane and plays out their would-be life together, Victoria whose obsession revolves around Westlife, she has created her very own Westlife ‘hall of fame’ in her hallway, dubbed the Westlife Passage with pictures of her favourite stars, and Theresa whose obsession with Rod Stewart has seen her attend over 150 of his concerts and keeps a momentum of each one in her ‘Rod Room.’
MICHAEL Fagan spent 10 minutes of 1982 talking to the Queen, who was in bed, after he climbed Buckingham Palace walls and up a drainpipe. It was the second time he’d broken into the Palace in a month.
He says of the latest incident of intruders in the Palace:
“I am really quite shocked after all that’s gone on, terrorist wise, that he could get in that easily. Security must have been pretty lax. I think there’s got to be some questions asked. It’s ridiculous. I think this time the Home Secretary should resign, no doubt about it, because he didn’t resign for me when I did it. But this time it’s deathly. Bombs going off everywhere and someone got that far, come on! We were told security was tightened after I got in.”
CONFUSION as to what really happened when a man was found in Buckingham Palace tourist trail after hours (the Mirror says he’d paid to be there; the Indy said he scaled 12 floors) was only made worse when two days later Prince Andrew was challenged by police. Did they pull gins. Yes, says the Express. No, say the police.
Andrew went on the record:
“The police have a difficult job to do balancing security for the Royal Family and deterring intruders, and sometimes they get it wrong. I am grateful for their apology and look forward to a safe walk in the garden in the future.”
PIPPA Middleton has a new arse, and she’s keen to show it off to one and all.
A security review has been launched after a break-in at Buckingham Palace when a man scaled a fence to get inside the Queen’s home. Police said the man had been found “in an area currently open to the public during the day” and was arrested for burglary, trespass and criminal damage. A second man was arrested outside the palace for conspiracy to commit burglary following the incident shortly before 10.30pm on Monday.
An inner-city mansion packed with shiny things is always going to be a target.
The Telegraph thunders from its front page:
Palace break in: terrorist warning
PRINCESS Diana is back in the news. The Daily Express leads with a shocker:
NAOMI WATTS is plugging her new film, Her Last Love, the story of her rumoured love affair with Dr Hasnat Khan:
“There were definitely moments when I felt Diana’s presence – I dreamed about her a lot, too, and that’s a first,’ says Naomi Watts. ‘I kept wondering to myself: “Would she have liked it?” So I found myself constantly asking for her permission to carry on. I had saturated myself with Diana and her life and I felt this enormous responsibility of playing this iconic woman. It felt like I was spending a lot of time with her. There was one particular moment when I felt her permission was granted. That won’t sound right in print, I know.”
FACES of August 31 2013: John Loughrey (centre) looks at tributes left outside Kensington Palace, London, as a couple embrace, on the anniversary of the death of Diana, Princess of Wales, who was killed in a car crash in central Paris along with Dodi Fayed.
Well, was she slotted? Or does she live on the fabled Sixth Floor of Harvey Nichols department store?
THE silly season was punctuated by the return of Princess Diana. News was that someone in or close to the SAS murdered Di. So said “Soldier N”. The story was broken by Channel 4, which noted:
“The allegations, if true, ask some serious questions of Soldier N’s mental state of health”
Soldier N’s shocker was first made in a letter written in 2011 by his in-laws. This note was part of the second court martial against one of N’s colleagues’s, namely sniper Sgt Danny Nightingale who was found with a stack of ammo and a Glock pistol in his possession – souvenirs of overseas ops. N was testifying against Nightingale.