The Royal Family, the House of Windsor, in the news and on a horse
A ROYAL baby is born. Hold everything. Was is over. Get the experts to pen 300 words on blue planceta:
What was Kate’s birth weight? Hopefully, the Express’ sister organ, OK!, will confront that question:
ASK not what your can do for your future King but what your future King can do for you. Kate Middleton and Prince William’s son is but a few hours old and already he’s working hard:
TO Ballinrobe, Ireland, for the result of the Tote Return Profits To Racing M’dn H’dle on the night of the birth of Kate Middleton and Prince William’s son:
1st King William
2nd 4L Hospital
Third was a delighted Camilla Parker Bowles ridden by the…
LAST week Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, gave birth. Well so said US Globe magazine:
Prince Charles’ drunken wife Camilla suffered a devastating secret collapse as it became clear new mom Kate and her baby are going to be…
STILL awaiting for the arrival of Kate Middleton’s baby, we turn for news to Hello! magazine. Lupo, Wills and Kate’s dog, has been talking:
“According to reports, Lupo has been nothing but co-operative — helping his owners choose their baby’s name by tapping on scraps of paper with his paw on which they’ve written a selection of their favourites.”
As Kirk Douglas told us in the film Ace in the Hole:
“I can handle big news and little news. And if there’s no news, I’ll go out and bite a dog.”
As any fool knows, dogs are useless at names. It’s Joey the budgie Kate wants:
AUSTIN Mitchell’s Tax Rate Is Lower Than That Of The Prince Of Wales….
A fact which makes his comments in the Commons yesterday really rather interesting.
Mitchell announced that the Prince of Wales pays tax at a lower rate than the poor do. He reached this conclusion by doing something fairly interesting:
Austin Mitchell said that the Prince’s accounts show that he paid less direct and indirect taxes as a percentage of income that the “bottom quartile of households” in Britain.
YOU could use the Royal wedding sick bag. Or you can splash out on a Royal Baby sick bag. Designer Lydia Leith never did produce a Kate Middleton morning sickness sick bag. That would have been in poor taste:
FLASHBACK snapshot: 1980 – “Lady Diana Spencer’s look of astonishment as she stalls her car – a new Mini Metro – outside her Earl’s Court flat when leaving for her job as a teacher at a kindergarten in Pimlico, London. Speculation continues that she may have a romantic involvement with the Prince of Wales.”
OUTSIDE St. Mary’s Hospital, London, the scene is set. Men and women with ladders and cameras are waiting to hear news of a new Royal baby.
Marcus Setchell, the Queen’s surgeon gynaecologist, is scrubbing up and giving the golden plunger a once over. to his side will be Alan Farthing, the surgeon gynaecologist to the royal household and former fiancé of Jill Dando, the BBC television presenter who was murdered in 1999. It’s a small world in the upper echelons, indeed.
DUCHESS Catherine Windsor, nee Kate Middleton, is expecting a baby. The excitement outside the maternity wards at London’s St Mary’s hospital is at fever pitch. They are there to stare. But not only stare. Some subjects have prepared gifts. Let’s take a look at them:
With the big Royal Event of the year hotly anticipated, we love these delightful designs by David Luff. They offer a very affectionate celebration of the new Royal Baby.
LADIES Day at Royal Ascot is that time when ladies wear unwearable hats in deference to aged protocol. The highlight was not only the Queen’s first win in the Gold Cup – Jockey Ryan Moore rode the Queen’s filly Estimate to victory – and the Times’s headline which seems to praise Her Majesty’s sprinting abilities – “Royal Ascot crowned by first Gold Cup victory for the Queen” – but Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie reprising their roles as Cinderella’s panto sisters, a decent each-way bet to win the World’s Most Obsequious Man contest, a woman in a brim so wide the ancient god Saturn thought it a bit OTT and another who seemed to be channeling Pegasus:
TODAY Kate, Duchess of Cambridge, smashed 15litre of champagne into boat called the Royal Princess. We know that’s the name of because Kate told us “I name this ship Royal Princess … May God bless her and all who sail in her.” The nebuchadnezzar of Moët & Chandon retails at £1,250.
The Mirror said “It smashed into the ship’s side and burst as if it had been shot from a cannon.”
Kate was accompanied by the Southampton Dock by the Band of the Royal Marines and the Irish Guards Pipers. The Bishop of Winchester, the Right Rev Tim Dakin, did a blessing. The former chairman of P&O Cruises, Lord Sterling of Plaistow, told the Times:
“I remember when young Diana named her first cruise ship and she said she was quite nervous. The Duchess was wonderful today. She has this very relaxed easy style with people, not just the high and mighty.”
TODAY the Queen officially opened the BBC’s rebuilt Broadcasting House. At one point she photobombed the newsreaders:
THE Coronation Review of The Fleet at Spithead. On July 14 1953 the newly crowned Queen was piped onboard:
These photographs include snaps of the Queen carrying out the Coronation Review of the Royal Air Force, at RAF Station, Odiham, Hampshire.
IN 60 photos the celebrations to mark 60 years of Her Majesty The Queen Elizabeth 2 on the throne.
Before 2000 guests at Westminster Abbey, The Archbishop of Canterbury commended the Queen’s “utter self-sacrifice” ever since holy oils anointed her Queen on June, 2, 1953.
IN “Jihad Brit in Harry kill plot”, the Sun reports on “a white Muslim convert” who “walked into a police station and told cops he was going to kill Prince Harry”.
Ashraf Islam made his chilling threat a day after the murder of soldier Lee Rigby in Woolwich, South London.
Islam, 30, is now facing ten years in jail after admitting threatening to kill soldier Harry, 28, who is third in line to the throne.
Islam has stood in the doc at Uxbridge Magistrates’ Court and pleaded guilty. He’s in custody awaiting sentencing.
The Sun adds that police allegedly found a laptop belonging to Islam “showing internet searches for kidnapping, guns and vans. His internet history is also said to show he had been on terrorist and firearms websites.”
WHAT did Prince Philip says to a Polish research scientist as he toured Cambridge’s Medical Research Council’s Laboratory of Molecular Biology (LMB)?
a) “Watch out for the Germans”
b) “Liz’s plumbing’s gone bit leaky”
CAN it be that Princess Charlene of Monaco thinks Prince Albert not enough for her? Allegations abound that the Princess is doing a Diana with a rugby player. This one’s called Byron Kelleher, a 36-year-old former All Black.
PRINCE Harry continues his trip to the US of A with a visit to the cheer leading display in the American football indoor training centre, at the US Air Force Academy base in Colorado Springs, USA, during the Warrior Games.
Spot the Blue Blood
PRINCE Harry is in the USA. The focus is on the girls cooing for the guys and his work with the Halo Trust, the world’s biggest demining organisation. The United States is not a signatory to the 1997 international Mine Ban Treaty. It reserves the right to deploy “smart mines” that can deactivate or self-destruct. Mines are ok, so long as you blow people’s legs off with sensitivity and thought.
THE tree amigos, the House of Windsor’s A-team, Brand Royal that is Duchess Kate, Prince Harry Baseball Cap and Wills made a visit to the Harry Potter film set during their visit to Warner Bros studios in Leavesden, Herts, where the movies were produced. Looking at Harry it is obvious that he could play Ron Weasley, the third wheel in the Hermione Granger / Harry Potter love triangle. One can imagine the Queen looking over the pictures and wondering if the Royal baby will be ginger, like Harry or, say, James Hewitt. But who needs magick when you have PR, lawyers and compliance..?
KENNY Everett’s busty distraction Cleo Rocos has a book out. One section deals with the time she met Princess Diana. Over bellinis, Shy Di would refer to people as “that randy old Taurean” or “Typical Sagittarian, always dancing on the table with a bottle of vodka down his trousers.”
Everett, Rocos and Di then went back to Kenny’s penthouse to watch The Golden Girls. Mercury popped over. The foursome ad libbed their version of the show. Everett was Blanche, Diana was Dorothy, Mercury was Sophie and Rocos was Rose.