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Hunting With Harry: The War On Terror Won, Prince Harry Returns Home
PRINCE Harry’s War. Scene II: We rejoin the action on the tarmac at Brize Norton airbase. The UK Media Corps is discussing the news that Prince Harry is returned home a hero after winning the War on Terror.
Now read on…
ALL: THEY say Harry is back. He walks among us…
MEDIA CORPS: Tally-ban!
EXPRESS (Lance Corporal): TARGET HARRY
Shhh! Those “British fanatics” might hear you and take it as a call to arms
MAIL (Lieutenant): TERROR TARGET HARRY
STAR (Private): HARRY IS TOP TERROR TARGET – Prince home but not safe
Quick! To Boujis. It’s a lock in. Hurry!
MIRROR: THE BOY WHO WOULD NOT DIE
They say he is covered in a teflon coating and he has a heart twice the size of a normal man
THE TIMES (Major): The Prince returns a hero and an enemy
TELEGRAPH (Brigadier, retired): Let me go back, please Harry
But, Harry, it’s Boujis. You remmber, Boujis? Oh, how the war changes them
GUARDIAN (Peace Corps): Dirty Harry - dog of war, or prince of public relations?
Harry run. A price is on your head. Max Clifford and the Taliban are after you. Run, Harry, run…
Caption Contest - With a prize
Posted: 1st, March 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Prince Harry, Royal Family, Tabloids, War On Terror | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Prince Harry Lands At Brize Norton
PRINCE Harry lands at Brize Norton tomorrow.
Book the booth at Boijis.
Tally-ban!
Posted: 29th, February 2008 | In: Prince Harry, Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Matt Drudge Is An Idiot, So Too Jon Snow
AS Perry writes on Samizdata: “The Ministry of Defence is to be commended (not often I write that) for the way they have handled Prince Harry going to Afghanistan. Aware that knowledge of his presence would greatly increase the risk to him and those serving with him (killing a Royal Prince would be a propaganda coup for the Taliban), they hid the fact for ten weeks, which is no small feat in this day and age. Their tactic was to both appeal to reason and to in effect ‘buy off’ the highly competitive UK media by promising juicy photos of Harry if they kept their collective cakeholes shut whilst he was deployed… quite clever really and it is a credit to the wiser heads amongst the UK press that they could see there was no broader ‘public interest’ at stake here (quite the opposite in fact).”
I am all for the media and new media reporting the news and in particular news that the powers-that-be might be discomforted by. However reporting a wartime operation detail likely to increase the chance particular group of serving soldiers will attacked by the enemy (namely revealing the presence of a political ‘high value target’ in the war zone) fall way outside acceptable behaviour. Even if you oppose the war, such behaviour suggest you are not so much against the war as actually on the other side. It is at the very least socially despicable and quite frankly giving aid to an enemy in wartime. Unsurprisingly that is something far beyond the ken of a dim bulb like that self-important idiotarian ass Jon Snow.
MATT Drudge and the German Newspapers were not the first to mention where Prince Harry had been deployed, that dubious ‘honour’ goes to the Australian publication New Idea, who have at least expressed regret that they blew Prince Harry’s cover, suggesting they may be guilt of a lack of thought rather than callous disregard for someone’s safety in a war zone. The MoD kept quiet when New Ideafirst broke the story, suggesting they rather sensibly assumed an Australian woman’s magazine was probably not high on the reading list of many Muslim fundamentalists and indeed it took over a month for it to get picked up elsewhere. But the person who really moved this into wider circulation and got the story picked up globally was Matt Drudge. Although the Berliner Kurier and Bild also reported this, Drudge was at some point claiming this as an ‘exclusive’ and claiming the ‘credit’ for himself, so I willtake him at his word and call him an honourless shit in that case.
Perry is right. Drudge is a pillock. And Jon Snow is a fool…
Prince Harry Plays At Tabloid Soldiers: Matt Drudge Reads New Ideas
Posted: 29th, February 2008 | In: Prince Harry, Royal Family, Twitterings, War On Terror | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Prince Harry Plays At Tabloid Soldiers: Matt Drudge Reads New Ideas
WE join the action in the wastes of Helmland Province, Afghanistan. The UK Media Corps is discussing the news that Prince Harry has been fighting the Taliban, something they all knew weeks ago but which was made public by New Ideas magazine in January, an Australian woman’s weekly- and claimed as a scoop in March by the self-serving Matt Drudge:
PSSST! They say Prince Harry is in Afghanistan.
MEDIA CORPS: Hurrah! Tally-ban!
Shhh!
EXPRESS (Lance Corporal): HARRY THE SECRET HERO.
STAR (Private): “WHEN HARRY MET TALI”
Shhhhh!
EXPRESS: “Harry and the Gurkas give the Taliban a pasting.”
Keep it down, lads. Mindless chatter costs lives and..
SUN (Private): “ONE OF OUR BOYS. Frontline prince kills 30 Taliban.
MIRROR (Corporal): MY WAR
It’s Operation Harry. All the lads have pulled on their regulation issue Harry Hair and to the cry “I’m Harry Windsor” attracted the Taliban from their fox holes and caves, so facilitating an easier slaughter?
SUN: WIDOW 67
Keep it down. We can’t have the enemy knowing Harry’s secret call sign…
SUN: “Wills says mum would be so proud.”
Diana was ever one for the Army. And khaki is this year’s black…
MIRROR: “MUM IS LOOKING DOWN ON ME”
Don’t be so hard on yourself, Harry
SUN: Tears on the phone to his Chelsy”
ANDY McNAB (Professional Shoadow): “I’m gutted for Prince Harry. I really feel for the fella as reports from the front line were that he’d been doing a sensational job… but the foreign press who leaked the tour of duty have now blown Harry’s chances out of the water…The leak has now thrown a potential hand-grenade into his career.”
Take cover!
MAIL (Lieutenant): “Harry puts his life on the line”
JON SNOW (Padre): “I never thought I’d find myself saying thank God for Drudge”
Because he broke the secret – the one many in the UK media already knew – that Harry was in Afghanistan? Because Jon Snow was wondering where Harry had got to? Because Jon Snow is a sanctimonies handwringer, the media’s in-house vicar?
(Jon Snow may care to know that the story was not broken by the self-serving Matt Drudge but by weekly women’s magazine New Idea)
MAIL: “Harry calls in an air strike”
4 Horseferry Road, London…
ALL: Incoming!!!!
Posted: 29th, February 2008 | In: Prince Harry, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
That Prince Harry Interview And The Boredom Of War
PRINCE Harry is in conversatison from the trenches. Says the Times:
“Prince Harry explained life on the frontline from the forward Operating Base, Delhi, Afghanistan on January 1, 2008″:
How are you finding Delhi?
“Delhi is fantastic, I started off with a week in Dwyer, flew from Kandahar to Dwyer, spent a week in Dwyer and then asked the Commanding Officer if I could come down here and spend Christmas with the Gurkhas because I had spent some time with them in England on exercise on Salisbury.
“Everyone is really well looked-after here by the Gurkhas, the food is fantastic - goat curries, chicken curries - probably shouldn’t say goat curries, but yeah, it’s really good fun and, yeah, we’re really well looked after.”
You said before you came out that you were very keen to get out on patrol. Were you surprised to be so far forward so soon?
Posted: 29th, February 2008 | In: Prince Harry, Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Prince Harry Is Fighting In Afghanistan: Tally-Ban
PRINCE HARRY HAS BEEN FIGHTING IN AFGHANISTAN?
Young Prince Harry Baseball Cap is in the trenches with the lads.
He was deployed 10 weeks ago and his fellow soldiers were sworn to secrecy.
Chief of the General Staff Sir Richard Dannatt, who is head of the British Army, says he is disappointed the news had leaked.
“I am very disappointed that foreign websites have decided to run this story without consulting us. This is in stark contrast to the highly responsible attitude that the whole of the UK print and broadcast media, along with a small number overseas, who have entered into an understanding with us over the coverage of Prince Harry on operations.”
Of course, it may all be a ruse. Harry has a price on his ginger head. But the plan is afoot.
The British Army has been issued with regulation ginger fright wigs. Each will don their Harry Hair and thus flush the rabid enemy from fox hole and cave. This will make them easier to slaugher. Harry will be the hero.
Hurrah!
Tally-ban!
Posted: 28th, February 2008 | In: Prince Harry, Royal Family | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
HooRAH Henry, Prince William’s Oasis Is Shattered
PRINCE William and Prince Harry are RAHS.
This, as Grazia magazine tells us, means they are “Royals And Heiresses”. They are HooRAH Henrys. No big departure for HooRAY Henrys (Rich And Young), but on such details are the reputations of magazines made.
Wills and Harry Baseball Cap are also “the new Noel and Liam”, believed not to be Irish footballer of yore Liam Brady and resurgent TV personality Noel Edmonds, rather Liam and Noel Gallagher, popular singers and champions of wrapping up in a chill wind. (“Hoods and Anoraks on, kids!” is their catchphrase.)
No sign of a scarf and woolly hat for Wills on the Mail’s front page, but he is sat before 14 bottles of alcopops and two pints of lager.
Can it be that having dabbled in the City, the Armed Forces and as a peacenik, Wills is now learning to be a hellraising rock ‘n’ roll star?
“William and the clubber slashed with a bottle,” comes the headline. And we wonder some more.
“Our future king on a boys’ night out. An hour later in the same nightclub, a reveller is slashed with a broken bottle.”
Are the two things linked? “ROYAL EXCLUSIVE,” announces the Star on its front page. “WILLS GLASS ATTACK HORROR.”
Wills is on a “larger and vodka bender”. He is “caught up in a vicious attack”. There is a “bloodbath”.
To the Barracuda club in Newquay, Cornwall.
“I WAS BOTTLED AT PRINCE WILLIAMS £1-A-DRINK PUB.” So says the Mirror’s front-page headline, which makes it seem as though Wills is drinking for research purposes, having opened a nice little boozer on the south coast.
But look out! Dan O’Callaghan has “just spotted Wills” and his. Dan is having a row with two men. A broken bottle is introduced to his face. And 25 stitches later (35 stitches, says the Mail) he is speaking to the Mirror.
“I watched Wills down £1 drinks… then thugs did THIS to my face,” says the headline, a neat surmising of the night’s events.
Are the two events linked? Did looking at Wills earn Dan a bottling, or glassing as the Star has it, exclusively?
In what way are the two things connected? We need to know. This one could run and run…
Posted: 14th, February 2008 | In: Grazia, Magazines, Prince Harry, Prince William, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Princes On Wheels: Harry and Wills Do Africa
MONEY is no object for Prince Harry and Prince William.
Young Baseball Cap and Wills can do as they please, go where they like and empty the hotel mini bar – nuts, Pringles, the lot! - with not a care.
As is the way of the very rich, they enjoy experiencing poverty, spending their spare time digging wells in South America, hugging orphans in Lesotho and binge drinking.
Now the Mail reports that Harry and Wills are planning a trip to Africa. They will make the 1,000 miles journey through the dark continent on motorbikes.
The middle classes take coaches and trains, the rich take private jets, and the super rich go it the hard way.
Says the Mail: “They have the added advantage of local knowledge from Prince Harry’s on-off girlfriend Chelsy.”
Who knew Chelsy was a bush tracker? Apologies all round for believing Chelsy found watering holes and a places to lay her head within the pages of Abercrombie and Kent’s Africa brochure.
So now there’s nothing to stop Harry Baseball Cap and Wills from embarking on their adventure. And as soon as the sponsorship forms have gone out, and the locals formed into orderly crowds lining the roads and waving, the sooner the lads can be on their merry way…
Posted: 11th, February 2008 | In: Prince Harry, Prince William, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Prince Harry Stops Smoking And Seeks New Job
ON the sober field of beige that is the Royal Family, stands Prince Harry, the flame-haired champion of drinking (hoorah!), puffing (hooray!) and groping (he’s behind you!).But now comes news in the Mirror that Harry Baseball Cap has given up the evil weed (that one too, we’d wager). News is that Harry, a 20-a-day man in the prime, has stopped smoking.
It could be argued that with Harry’s hands employed twirling his smoke, they are less likely to cause him to problems.
Indeed, had only his father Charles spent his idle moments smoking he might have embarked on hobbies more enduring and edifying than befriending begonias and being fascinated by tampons.
Now Prince Harry is a non-smoker. No, it’s worse than that – he’s a reformed smoker. As the Mirror says: “Now he’s said to have conquered his addiction, Harry’s next job will be to work on his South African girlfriend – Chelsy Davy, 22, who is known to be fiond of a crafty drag.”
Of almost girlfriend. The Mail says Harry is “desperate to win her back”.
And keen to do something with his hands…
Posted: 3rd, December 2007 | In: Prince Harry, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Prince Harry: Good Egg, Bad Egg, Curate’s Egg
Prince Harry - A discussion…
LET’S have a heated debate!
And today’s subject, courtesy of the Daily McCann (formerly Daily Diana, formerly Daily Express) is… “ISN’T IT ABOUT TIME PRINCE HARRY STOPPED FEELING SORRY FOR HIMSELF?”
Yes, says Simon Edge. Harry is stupid, gullible and has a revolting circle of friends. “Those are not my words,” says Edge, “but those of Mark Boland, the royal PR advisor who massaged the public.”
Oh, sorry, there’s more…
“…massaged the public into acceptance of the Duchess of Cornwall.”
Anyway, Simon reckons Harry is a thoroughly bad egg, or “roistering yob” as he puts it.
Meanwhile Jenny Selway, in the pro-Harry corner, says much the same, making free use of phrases such as “obnoxious” and “Hooray Henry”.
But she thinks we should spare a thought for the misguided prince on the grounds that (a) he’s nice to kids in a caring charity work way, and (b) he is vulnerable and needs his mum.
According to Jenny, men in their late teens and early twenties “phone to ask the questions they’d feel too silly to ask anyone else, they phone to touch base, they phone to ask how to boil an egg. Who does Harry phone?”
Well, call us old-fashioned, but how many men over the age of ten phone their mothers for this kind of hand-holding?
As for the egg question, we suggest Harry phones his dad. Likely answer: “Ask the chap who squeezes your toothpaste onto the brush – he should be able to get cook to rustle you up an egg or two.”
Posted: 13th, November 2007 | In: Prince Harry, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (18) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Prince Harry And Chelsy Split: Situations Vacant
IT was Craig Brown who brought to the world Prince Harry’s Ode To Pomp: “When I marry, It’ll be in fancy dress - And I’ll come as Rudolf Hess.”
Of course that was satire. When he marries, Prince Harry will take on the full weight of the occasion with a sartorial display of dark baseball cap, new sneakers and a T-shirt bearing the legend “FCUK Marriage”.
But such a time will have to wait as the Mail brings news that Harry and “miserable” Davy have split.
It is reported that Davy “needs space” to “carve out her own identity”.
A “friend close to Chelsy” tells The Mail on Sunday: “This is not an over-for-good situation. Chelsy and Harry both love each other very much.”
A senior Palace aide confirms: “The relationship is over. It has simply run its course. Harry will be carrying on his Army career and Chelsy will continue her studies.”
And while Chelsy whittles, we happen up the Mail’s second Prince Harry feature: “Send me to Afghanistan or I’ll quit Army.”
“Harry has said he is at rock bottom,” a close friend says. “He is upset, angry and frustrated and feels completely redundant. He is basically doing nothing…He has said he is a troop leader without a troop.”
Harry is not some inedible ornament with a passion for dressing up in military garb. Says the source: “The MoD are going to have to figure something out. If they don’t, Harry has said he will think about pursuing his charity work and go back to Africa. He is desperate to do something that will give him a sense of purpose.”
But Harry is not alone. He might not have Chelsy, but if wants a sounding post he could consult with other men of his family and consider golfing, talking to plants and finding a use for Prince Edward…
Posted: 11th, November 2007 | In: Chelsy Davy, Prince Harry, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Prince Harry Close To Mystery Gunman
PRINCE Harry shoots to kill. This much is certain. And he can take a shot or several in the course of his duty, notably of sambuca, tequila and a yellowy-white substance known as The Socialite’s Chest.
And, as the Guardian’s front-page headline tells us: “Prince Harry quizzed by police about shooting of rare birds.” More shooting.
We journey to the royal family’s Sandringham estate. The prince is on manoeuvres with young Van Cutsem, of the Older Van Cutsems. Two hen harriers, protected birds, are in flight. And then - Bang! Bang – they are not.
The birds are protected by rule of law and anyone caught killing one faces a six-month prison sentence or satisfying a £5,000 fine.
Harry and Young Van Cutsem have been interviewed by police. A spokesperson for Clarence House informs us: “Unfortunately, they’ve no knowledge of the incident.”
And we, like you, are alarmed.
Can it be that on a royal estate there is an armed presence taking pot shots at birds and getting his eye in on who knows what else?
Can it be that person or persons unknown have bypassed the maximum security, the cauldron of minders and militia, the wire traps and the squadron of white Fiat Unos that protect the Windsors to take out two in-flight birds?
Can it be that Harry and Young Van Cutsem – said to be “the only people known to have been shooting on the estate” at the time – were in such obvious peril?
The matter must be investigated to the full. We demand an inquiry. We demand that Prince Harry Baseball cap and his consorts be protected…
Posted: 31st, October 2007 | In: Broadsheets, Prince Harry, Royal Family | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Prince Harry Touches Down And Drops Shorts
A FEW days since Paris and people are still talking about the big game. “Rugby…” they say. “What rugby?”
The Telegraph looks on as the England team up their game and the team’s Matt Stevens has his shorts pulled down.
“Wear jogging bottoms and T-shirts, the players looked cheerful and relaxed after touching down,” says the paper. Heathrow Airport staff on duty at the time cheer. The duty cameraman takes a picture.
But will it be enough? Will we all be doing “The Matt”? Will the lads secure contracts to appear in TV adverts, laughing loud as Matt loses his shorts in a pizza chain; Matt drops his shorts in Curry’s; Matt drops Anorak’s new range of Comfi Shortz to his knees in the offices of a debt consolidation company’s call centre?
And where does Prince Harry, that Jonny Wilkinson among men, figure in rugby’s marketing drive? There’s Harry Baseball Cap leaving the England plane, his eponymous hat pulled down over his patriotic hair and skin tones.
Did he pull down Matt’s shorts? And will we in pubs and clubs be doing “The Harry?”
Posted: 23rd, October 2007 | In: Back pages, Prince Harry, Royal Family | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Prince Harry And Prince William Plastered In Paris
CHIN up, England. Chin-chin Prince Harry. There is Harry, that Jonny Wilkinson among men, having vodka poured own his neck at the post-World Cup final party.
“SWIG LOW,” says the Mirror’s front-page headline. “EXCLUSIVE: Wills and Harry on bender with England rugby heroes.”
There are Wills and Harry on the Mail’s cover, where things are still more exclusive with Wills pouring champagne into a tulip glass.
“Plastered in Paris with Wills & Harry,” says the Mail. Harry hugs Laurence Dallaglio. Wills commiserates with Mike Catt. “Very bad luck,” says Wills. “You played extremely well and showed tremendous spirit.”
And the party moves on from the team’s hotel to L’Etoile – “France’s answer to Boujis”.
The Express has more pictures, less exclusive than any of those shown in the Mail or Mirror, with Matthew Tait allowed to remove his shirt and Jonny Wilkinson planting a kiss on his blonde lover’s cheek.
“Let your heir down lads,” says the Sun. And the Telegraph looks back at the game’s key moments, seeing Wills preparing to drop kick a water bottle on the Paris turf.
But there is no time to look back. Onwards! Wills and Harry are needed. The Brazilian Grand Prix is on.
Come on, Harry! Come on, Wills. Tally ho! Your country needs you…
Posted: 23rd, October 2007 | In: Prince Harry, Prince William, Royal Family | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Rugby World Cup Final: Prince Harry’s Hard Yards
“THE final heartbreak,” says the Observer’s cover. “England’s World Cup dream left in tatters,” echoes the Express.
And the Sunday Times leads with “Brave England battle to battling Boks”. And courageous Wales.
There on the cover page of that paper is the picture that tells the story. They went. They gave it their all. But Princes Harry and Prince William could not make it through. Sure, they put in the hard yards, made sacrifices - getting to Paris would mean forgoing a soiree at Boujis. But it was for nought.
Reactions to defeat:
“They did fantastically well getting into the final - but in days to come, they’ll reflect on what they’ve done and be really proud of themselves” - England coach and royalist Brian Ashton
“You can’t fault the effort, can’t fault the heart. Such a shame when all the heart and spirit counts for nothing…Immensely disappointing” - England flanker and Mahiki Club guest pass holder Martin Corry
“So proud of all the guys who have supported us” - Jonny Wilkinson speaks on behalf of the Princes
“It’s a fuc*in’ conspiracy ” - Mohamed al Fayed on that disallowed try
More to follow…
Posted: 21st, October 2007 | In: Back pages, Prince Harry, Prince William, Royal Family | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Harry’s Game: Prince Harry Decides On England’s National Sport
WILL it be rugby union or football? The English national game is a matter of no small importance.
Rugby has its plusses: England win; and England should never lose to Germany on penalties, chiefly because Jonny Wilkinson is allowed to take all spot kicks.
On the negatives, you can’t play rugby easily, and certainly not against a Waiters XV on a Mediterranean beach, nor on the school playground, where less the tackling and more the falling mouth-first onto the crumbling tarmac is liable to hurt.
Which way to go? We could toss for it. But better yet let’s see which way our greatest scoring icon falls. What will Prince Harry do?
Harry, that Wilkinson among men, is, as the Telegraph reports, expected to join thousands of England fans at Saturday’s World Cup final.
So rugby it is.
However, as the Telegraph notes: “But speculation was growing yesterday over whether his South African-based girlfriend, Chelsy Davy, will be with him.”
If rugby is to surpass football as the sport of choice, it is imperative the girlfriend takes her rightful place at her rugger mad boyfriend’s side.
As the paper notes: “Last Saturday — Miss Davy’s 22nd birthday — rugby-mad Prince Harry was in Paris for the England team’s nail-biting victory over the World Cup hosts.”
Once absence looks like an accident, twice sounds the death knell for rugby’s lofty ambitions.
The very real fear is that should South Africa-based Chelsy not journey to Paris, rugby will never full replace football as the nation’s No. 1 sport, and be seen as an incidental matter, a game played by boys who grew up unable to control a football, or their girlfriends…
Posted: 17th, October 2007 | In: Chelsy Davy, Prince Harry, Royal Family | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Prince Harry Is A Jonny Wilkinson Among Men
DID you see him when the ball sailed over the posts? You can bet he had a few liveners that night.
For those of you who didn’t catch his reaction to that kick and that England rugby win in that city, the Mirror leads with a shot of Prince Harry punching the air with delight.
“WE DID IT!” says the Mirror. “Harry and pals go wild.”
“GET STUCK IN,” says the caption above the picture of Harry as he “urges the team on”.
“HAIR WE GO”, says another shot, as Harry has his hair ruffled by another Englander in official kit.
There’s Harry in the Express. Four pictures of Harry in the Telegraph, showing the young hero’s movements from pain, through to despondency to elation.
“ROYAL MASCOT,” says the Sun, a little cruelly. Harry might not be the biggest, but “’Lucky’ Harry will cheer us to sweet revenge on Boks”.
“Harry, 23, will be at the Paris final hoping for a repeat of four years ago, when he famously roared on our winners in Australia…”
“I haven’t been so excited since Sydney 2003,” says Harry, with no hint of a dig at girlfriend Chelsy Davy.
“Happy as Harry,” says the Mail. And we all give good heart and full throat to our hero, Prince Harry – a Jonny Wilkinson among men…
Posted: 15th, October 2007 | In: Prince Harry, Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
PRINCE Harry is dead.
Remove your Baseball Cap, play the last note of Return of the Living Acid and raise your half coconut shells of flaming amaretto.
Harry is laid our before a Union Jack with his head resting on the Bible and a gun in his holster. A vulture sits by his feet.
But this not the work of the Taliban or a rogue cocktail, rather artist Daniel Edwards.
It’s “sick” says “angry mum” Carole Jones whose son served and died in Iraq. It is a “disservice” to the armed forces, says Robert Lee, of the Royals British Legion.
“DEAD HARRY” (Mirror) has sparked the sound of “fury”. But Harry will not hear it because in a “chilling” reference to the threats by insurgents to send him home without them, his ears are to be removed.
Says Edwards: “I don’t think it would be any more distressing than the month he spent not knowing what would happen, if deployed. It recognises that he is willing to put on the line…his life for his country.”
Perhaps so. But we say leave the ears where Chelsy can grab them and get rid of the gun. And re-label the work “Harry: Looking Up At The Stars – Boujis Pavement 2006”.
A life study…
Posted: 5th, October 2007 | In: Prince Harry, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Prince Harry Gets His Own Theme Pub
PRINCE Harry has yet to have how own club but news in the Star is encouraging. (Pic: Beau Bo D’Or)
In “PRINCE ALWAYS AT PUB”, the paper notes that Sir Harry’s pub in Edgbaston, Birmingham has altered its sign to show its appreciation of young Harry Baseball cap.
The pub’s sign now features Harry wearing a suit of armour, his flame-red hair blowing in the wind, and a St George’ flag aflutter over his shoulder.
“Most folk find it funny, and I’m sure Harry wouldn’t mind,” says the pub’s landlord.
And why stop there?
We urge the landlord to develop what he has started and turn the pub into Prince Harry theme bar, with a smoking garden, a storage area for minders and a polite notice on the door inviting insurgents to come on in if they feel lucky…
Posted: 1st, October 2007 | In: Prince Harry, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Prince Harry Fights The War On Terror In Leeds
PRINCE Harry never did make it to Iraq.
The plan to send Harry to the frontline and equip our finest boys and girls with red frightwigs - so seducing the reward-eager enemy from their foxholes and making them more easy to slaughter - never materialised. Read the plan here.
And so it is that the Army remains bogged down in Iraq and Afghansitan. And Harry is eating spaghetti bolognese in Leeds.
But now a report in the News of the World that if Harry will not go to the War on Terror, the War on Terror will go to Harry.
As the paper notes, Chelsy Davy, Harry’s blonde, is studying for a law degree at Leeds University.
She is residing in a £55-a-week student home. Chelsy is sharing with three “pals” in “the rundown” Hyde Park area.
And as the paper says: “Two years ago cops swooped on a nearby property following the 7/7 London terror attacks.”
Can this be it? Is it no mere chance that Harry has been despatched to the provinces?
How long before the people of Leeds are all sporting red wigs and with the rallying cry “I am Harry”, sparing Leeds from the grasping hand of Muslim extremism?
Posted: 30th, September 2007 | In: Chelsy Davy, Prince Harry, Royal Family, Tabloids, War On Terror | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
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