Ashley Cole’s Sorry Non-Denial Denial Reconstruction

ASHLEY Cole has been pinched by the police. Mr Cheryl Cole swore at police and was arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct. He now apologises, sort of. Cole enacts that time-honoured tactic - the non-denial denial.

Ashley Cole, who is well-versed in defending, having defended himself against allegations of vomit-driven infidelity, and dealing with Arsenal, the club he was contracted to play for when this happened, as recounted in Ashley Cole: My Defence:

I was well down on the day when I drove into town to see Jonathan Barnett (my agent) at his offices. We jumped in Jonathan’s Bentley and he told his driver our destination: the Royal Park Hotel. It was Thursday, January 27, 2005.

We walked by reception and into a meeting room called the Green Room where we found Pini (Zahavi, Chelsea’s agent) sat alone. We must have been in there about 20 minutes when Pini suddenly flicked his wrist to look at his watch — “Time! Time! My next meeting . . .” and he started to get up out of his chair. The door opened and José Mourinho and Peter Kenyon walked in.

Hey presto, he wound up playing for Chelsea.

Says Ashley Cole:

“I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to the police officers on duty last night for my language.”

Is that a “sorry”?:

“I felt I was being harrassed by paparazzi and, while complaining to the Police about this at the scene they did warn me to calm down, a warning that I regrettably did not heed.”

Cole is positioned as the victim. Evoking sympathy. The Police might have protected him better.

“I fully appreciate that whatever frustrations I may have had with others that it was completely inappropriate to vent those in conversation with the Police.”

It was them. And it was not swearing - it was a “conversation”. Go on:

“However, I do want to make clear that I swore in frustration at the paparazzi’s behaviour. I would never disrespect police officers in any way.”

Never. Well, maybe once… No. Never. An Ashley Cole vow. He’s a man of his word.

“I take very seriously my responsibilities as a professional footballer, this includes keeping my body in the best condition. Although I had consumed some alcohol earlier in the evening on a night out with friends, it had not been excessive.”

Not drunk. Denial. The apology goes on:

“But I accept that the language I used on this occasion was wrong. I regret my actions and how it reflects on myself and Chelsea Football Club.”

Sorry..?

Anorak

Posted: 5th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink