Transfer Balls: a look at utter drivel presented as football news in the mainstream media. Today the Express says Liverpool are set to sign Raheem Sterling on a new contract, Arsenal are still going to bid for Paul Pogba, Incardi is off to Chelsea and there is some stuff about Manchester United.
David Wright reports:
Raheem Sterling admits he’s close to putting pen to paper on a new deal at Liverpool, worth a reported £100,000-a-week.
The England star, who is being monitored by Real Madrid, Bayern Munich and Paris Saint-Germain, is yet to commit his future to the Reds despite months of talks between the club and his representatives.
Transfer Balls: a look at the ridiculous world of newspaper reporting on football transfers. Today the Daily Express has news that Arsenal are going to buy Paul Pogba for £80m.
Bruce Archer writes: “Arsene Wenger is ready to launch an £80m bid for Paul Pogba.”
The story links to the Daily Mirror. We click. And we read Liam Corless, who writes:
Arsenal are ready to smash their transfer record to bring Paul Pogba back to England, according to the Express.
Eh?
It’s a perpetual circle of bullshit.com.
The Express has a scoop that Pogba is ehading to Arsenal for £80m. It says it read it in the Mirror, wherein we lean that Pogba is heading to Arsenal for £80m because they read it in the Express.
We’ve been tracking Transfer Balls for a few season now but this is the most blatant case of Bullshit Tennis we’ve enountered do far.
TRANSFER Balls: a look at newspaper repoting on footballers. And what utter rot it is. Today the Daily Express says that Chelsea have received a “boost” in their pursuit of Paul Pogba, Manchester United’s “Ronaldo REVELATION” and Arsenal’s “Immobile blow”.
Charles Perrin has three scoops in one day! Hold that Pulitzer Prize!
Dealing with each sensation in turn:
SCOOP! The Chelsea Pogba “boost” is that – and this is fantastic – that dangerously thick sod Nicholas Anelka “admitted he would like to see him join Chelsea”.
Is Anelka setting the transfer policy at Chelsea? Does he know Roman Ambramovich is a Jew? Has the world gone mad?
SCOOP! “Manchester United turned down the chance to re-sign Cristiano Ronaldo last month.”
Is that because United were reluctant to spend £200m or some other nutzoid sum to make Real Madrid sell the player who isn’t for sale and is happy at Champions’ League favourite Real?
Perrin writes:
“…reports in Spain suggest when Louis van Gaal was offered the chance to sign Ronaldo, he said ‘no’ to a potential deal.”
That report notes that United would have to pay a world record fee for Ronaldo, who is an ageing hero and gold mine; and the Madrilenos want to buy Spanish David de Gea.
SCOOP! “Arsenal and Liverpool have been dealt a blow in their pursuit of Ciro Immobil”
Number of words from anyone at Arsenal and Liveprool: nil.
Says Imobile:
“I feel I’m at the right level to play with Borussia Dortmund.”
Number of times Imobile mentions Arsenal or Liveprool in his interview in Italy: nil.
Transfer Balls – Anorak’s look at bilge being presented as football fact in the mainstream media. The Mirror has beeb rpeorting on Schalke and Germany defender Benedikt Howedes, 26. A target for Arsenal, Manchester United and Chelsea, the Mirror says his “goal” is to play in England.
The Mirror says he “admits it”, as if it were a secret or a crime:
But is it his goal?
No.
He told German’s BILD:
“If I am to leave Schalke one day, I do not want to move clubs within Bundesliga. The club is too close to my heart to do so. I owe Schalke a lot, I have had a great experience during my time here. I really like being at Schalke.”
Transfer Balls: a look at utter drivel passed off as football fact in the mainstream media. Today the Daily Express has news on Manchester City and England footballer James Milner:
EXCLUSIVE: Man City ace James Milner considering Arsenal and Liverpool offers
Is he? Richard Tanner says Milner is:
Liverpool, it is understood, are tempting him with the prospect of becoming Steve Gerrard’s replacement in their engine room.
Understood by whom? Reader aren’t told. There are no quotes. No sources. It is merely “understood”.
Arsenal, too, see his tenacity, energy and bristling aggression as the perfect foil for some of their more sublime talents.
Again, this claim is supported by nothing.
This huge “EXCLUSIVE” comes on the back of other exclusives linking Milner with Arsenal and Liverpool, which have been running for over a year:
Transfer Balls: The last transfer window has only just closed but already the Sun is linking Arsenal to a new man: Lyon’s Nabil Fakir.
The Sun says Fakir is attracting £25m of Arsenal’s cash. He’s 21. He likes tos core goals. And, as the Sun says, he might not be allowed to leave Lyon.
And having introduced a player and told readers that Lyon are “desperate” to keep hold of him (and PSG are keen), the Sun adds that “The Gunners also want Leverkusen keeper Bernd Leno”.
Transfer Balls: a look at football rumour and speculation being presented as fact in the mainstresm media. Today the Sun says “MANCHESTER UNITED can have Barcelona star Dani Alves for FREE — if they offer him a three-year deal.”
The Sun says Alves, 31, wants a new three-year £100,000-a-week Barcalona contract. If that fails to materialise, he’ll go to Manchester City or Manchester United for no transfer fee if they can match his wage demands.
In other news, Yahoo! reported on May 14 that “Dani Alves has already signed a pre-contract agreement with Paris Saint-Germain”.
The Daily Express says Alves has agreed to join Manchester United:
Arsenal Balls: the Daily Express has been talking about Alexis Sanchez, the dynamic Chilean player who runs as if he’s been powered by the National Grid. He’s not fit to play Spurs in the Premier League today. But let’s see what the Express has been reporting:
February 5: “Arsenal ace Alexis Sanchez ruled out of North London derby showdown with Tottenham”
February 6 and Sanchez is off his sick bed and heading to the exit:
Alexis Sanchez has become increasingly disillusioned at Arsenal after being snubbed by the fans. Sanchez was overlooked for the PFA fans player of the month award, with Santi Cazorla getting his hands on the prize. The Chilean, who will miss the north London derby feels under-appreciated and could seek a way out of the Emirates.
February 6: “Arsenal news: Alexis Sanchez could play in north London derby”
Arsenal forward will be given one last chance to prove his fitness ahead of Saturday’s clash with Tottenham Hotspur at White Hart Lane
So. He’s back. And then…
February 6:
Sanchez is “touch and go” to play againt Spurs.
February 7: “Sanchez OUT for Arsenal, Welbeck replaces Walcott, Spurs make TWO changes”
Having spun FIVE scoops and sensations from news that Sanchez was out – news that has been consistent ever since Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger said Sanchez was injured but could be fit for Tuesday’s match – the Express needs more. So. It comes up with this:
Arsenal star Alexis Sanchez facing MONTH out with hamstring tear
Unfit. Fit, Almost fit. Touch-and go. Not quite fit. And now out for a month. It’s been quite a week for Alexis Sanchez…
Transfer Balls: As the January Deadline Day shuts the Daily Express tosses more balls than Rebecca Loos at a Peppa Pig Stag do:
Story 1:
Arsenal, Liverpool, Tottenham and Man Utd target Morgan Schneiderlin’s HUGE transfer hint
The HUGE tranfger hint is – get this – that Schneiderlin is not going to Arsenal, Liverpool, Tottenham or Manchester United. The HUGE transfer hint involves a club not mentioned in the headline: Southampton.
And that hint amount to Morgan tweeting: “Very happy to be back training ! Thanks to all who did help me and made me work hard to come back stronger!”
Transfer Balls has been following the mainstream media’s scattergun reports on Arsenal. This January the Gunners have been linked via the national Press with the purchase of 73 players. Yeah, that’s all. The new Gunners are:
Jose Luis Gaya, Joao Pereira, Cheick Tiote, Karim Benzema, Daniele Rugani, Aleksandar Dragovic, Jordan Veretout, Hugo Lloris, Sardar Azmoun, Grzegorz Krychowiak, Ryan Shawcross, William Carvalho, James McCarthy, Mario Suarez, Edinson Cavani, Loris Karius, Ilkay Gundogan, Teddy Bishop, Loic Perrin, Mattia Destro, Federico Valverde, Rayan Souici, Sami Khedira, Yohan Cabaye, Ayoze Perez, Bruno Martins Indi, Moussa Sissoko, Takefusa Kubo, Iker Casillas, Petr Cech, Adrien Rabiot, Stephan El Shaarawy, Marcelo Brozovic, Krystian Bielik, Mats Hummels, Benedikt Howedes, Victor Wanyama, Xherdan Shaqiri, Adil Rami, Paul Pogba, Sebastian Lichtsteiner, Morgan Schneiderlin, Winston Reid, Aymeric Laporte, Virgil van Dijk and Ron Vlaar, Nabil Fekir, Fabio Coentrao, Nemanja Vidic, Sergio Busquets, Lucas Silva, Marco Reus, Matt Targett, Sebastian Giovinco, Nikola Vlasic, Marcelo Brozovic, Gabriel Barbosa, Malcolm Silva, Juan Quinetero, Isco, Sergio Ramos, Paolo Dybala, Jonathan Calleri, Gabriel Paulista, Luis Suarez, Mario Mandzukic, Saido Berahino, Wilfried Bony, Jay Rodriguez, Ter Stegen Mattia Perin, Bafetimbi Gomis and Hector Moreno.
Today the Mirror tosses another name into the hat.
Valencia have inexplicably placed a £60m buy-out clause on Arsenal and United target Nicolas Otamendi.
Did Arsenal bid for Otamendi? No. Did Manchester Untied bid for him? No.
So much for thsoe facts. The one fact we’ve got is that the Arsenal body count is now at 74!
Transfer Balls: It’s been busy January transfer window for Arsenal. Gabriel Paulista signed. Krystian Bielik signed. But regular readers will know that the mainstream Press have told us that Arsenal are signing – get his – 65 players.
Let’s see who else is is on their way:
The Daily Mirror reports: “Arsenal will meet Valencia youngster Jose Luis Gaya’s £13.5m release clause.” The paper offers no facts to support the news.
Over in the Express, we learn in a story dated January 28:
Arsenal set to SHOCK Valencia and Real by meeting £13.5m release clause for Jose Luis Gaya.
So. Jose Luis Gaya has a £13.5m release clause in his contract.
Transfer Balls: a look at football rumour, speculation and made-up bilge being presented as fact by the mainstream media.
The Daily Express has news to quicken the pulses of Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool and Manchester United fans:
Andre Schurrle’s £27m Dortmund move will see Chelsea land Cuadrado AND Reus head to exit
Got that? To prove that that unintelligible line is not an Anorak typo, here it is:
You can try and break the headline down: Schurrle’s off to Dortmund. Cuadrado is off to Chelsea. “AND Reus head to exit”.
Or maybe: Chelsea land Cuadrado AND Reus. And Express reders are advised “Head to exit”?
The next line is simple balls:
BORUSSIA DORTMUND’S move for Andre Schurrle will enable Chelsea to close a deal for Juan Cuadrado this month and could pave the way for Marco Reus to join Manchester United, Arsenal or Liverpool.
It could. Or it could not. Because a few days ago, the Daily Express reported that Reus was having a medical to join Real Madrid:
As for Andre Schurrle, well, the Telegraph says today Chelsea want too much for him:
Andre Schurrle has asked Chelsea to lower their asking price for him as he attempts to clinch a move back to Germany before the transfer window shuts.
Chelsea have everything in place to sign Fiorentina’s Juan Cuadrado as a replacement for Schurrle, but have so far been holding out for more than £25million for the German World Cup winner.
Wolfsburg officials travelled to London last week to hold talks over Schurrle, while Borussia Dortmund have shown a strong interest in the forward. But neither club are yet to meet Chelsea’s asking price.
So. £25m is too much. Or as the Daily Mail says, also today: Schurrle has gone for…£30m.
Such are the facts…
will enable Chelsea to close a deal for Juan Cuadrado this month and could pave the way for Marco Reus to join Manchester United, Arsenal or Liverpool.
The Daily Mirror has transcribed Gareth Bale’s interview on Spanish radio. It wasn’t all that hard: Bale spoke in fluent English, throughout. The highlight picked out by all papers is that Bale used to enjoy watching Arsenal “a lot”. Bale, is, of course, a former Spurs player. But it’s no big shocker. Arsenal have played better and more succesful football than Spurs for so long their rivalry is largely the stuff of historical record.
For our money the highlights are these:
How are the Spanish classes going?
Well, I have classes two or three times a week and I understand more and talk more all the time.
Arsenal Transfer Balls: So. Is Paulista heading to the Emirates?
The Metro says Paulista is an Arsenal player. Sort of:
Gabriel Paulista transfer to Arsenal agreed in principle, confirm Villarreal
In principle? What does that mean, then? We ask because one day ealier the Metro said Arsenal had signed Paulista in fact. He was scheduled to undergo his medical:
Also:
The £13.8million fee is slightly below Gabriel’s release clause, and now Arsenal are expecting to win a work permit to wrap up the transfer.
The Mail says the fee is £15m. The Guardian says it’s £11m. The Telegraph says it could be as high as £10m.
Arsenal transfer news and rumours: Arsenal Wenger handed boost in hunt for Real defender Sergio Ramos
He has? The media is full of news that Arsenal are buying central defender Gabriel Paulista for £6m (Metro), £10m (Telegraph) and £15m (Guardian). So. Why would they buy Ramos, too?
And Arsenal are not alone. Just yesterday the Daily Star reported:
Arsenal, Chelsea, Man City and Man Utd target Sergio Ramos CLOSE to agreeing HUGE deal
But why would Manchester United wants Ramos. The Star also reported that they want Paulista:
The Telegraph’s story continues:
Arsenal have been given a huge boost in their hunt for Sergio Ramos, reports The Metro.
Arsenal Transfer Balls: Who are the Gunners buying today? To date, the mainstream media has told readers that Arsenal are buying – get this – 63 players. And there are MORE!
The Telegraph: “Arsenal weighing up £9m bid for Newcastle’s Cheick Tiote”
So. No bid made. Unless you rea the Daily Express:
Arsenal launch £9m bid for Man United and Liverpool target Cheick Tiote
Arsenal had been linked with Nicolas Otamendi in the Sunday papers, but news on Monday suggested that Manchester United had seen a £27million bid turned down for the versatile defender.
Which Sunday papers, the Metro doesn’t say.
Daily Mirror: “Arsenal news and transfers: Leeds United defender Sam Byram on Arsene Wenger’s radar?”
As ever the Mirror shrouds a started by ending it with a question mark.
Arsenal are now buying in this January Transfer Window: 66 players!
Previously:
Batch 1: William Carvalho, James McCarthy, Mario Suarez, Edinson Cavani, Loris Karius, Ilkay Gundogan, Teddy Bishop.
Batch 2:Loic Perrin, Mattia Destro, Federico Valverde, Rayan Souici, Sami Khedira, Yohan Cabaye, Ayoze Perez, Bruno Martins Indi, Moussa Sissoko and Takefusa Kubo.
Batch 3: Iker Casillas, Petr Cech, Adrien Rabiot, Stephan El Shaarawy, Marcelo Brozovic, Krystian Bielik, Mats Hummels, Benedikt Howedes, Victor Wanyama, Xherdan Shaqiri, Adil Rami, Paul Pogba, Sebastian Lichtsteiner, Morgan Schneiderlin and Winston Reid.
Batch 4: Aymeric Laporte, Virgil van Dijk and Ron Vlaar.
Batch 5: Nabil Fekir, Fabio Coentrao, Nemanja Vidic, Sergio Busquets, Lucas Silva, Marco Reus, Matt Targett, Sebastian Giovinco, Nikola Vlasic, Marcelo Brozovic, Gabriel Barbosa and Malcolm Silva.
Batch 6: Juan Quinetero, Isco, Sergio Ramos, Paolo Dybala, Jonathan Calleri, Gabriel Paulista, Luis Suarez.
Batch 7: Mario Mandzukic, Saido Berahino, Wilfried Bony, Jay Rodriguez, Ter Stegen and Edgar.
Football fans love those player ratings that feature in newspapers. At home they compile league tables. It’s a little known fact that clubs ask a random sample of 101 fans for their end-of-season results. The data dictates clubs’ tranfer policies.
Today in the Daily Mail, Neil Ashton delivers his verdict on Manchester City v Arsenal. Let’s look at the Arsenal players’ scores.
ARSENAL, Liverpool and Manchester City have inquired about Radamel Falcao’s availability as the Colombian struggles to nail down a place in Louis van Gaal’s Manchester United starting XI.
Yeah. The player who commands a salary of – get this – £265,000 a week (!!), who has scored three times for Manchester United this season and has a history of injury is interesting Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester City.
Says who?
Falcao, right, is said to have been left ‘perplexed and bemused’ by his treatment at United…
