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Chelsea’s new ground held up by bats

The Times says “Chelsea’s new stadium has been delayed by “quiet assassins on the wing”. Surely the noise police don’t have a problem with Chelsea expanding their ground. That place has been quiet ever since the old die-hards were priced out of the place.

The story is not about people who enjoy the quiet. It’s about creatures who are quiet:

A colony of bats in the neighbouring Brompton cemetery, a Grade I-listed Victorian burial ground…threatens to derail the project and make the proposed completion date of 2020 appear optimistic.

The local council, Hammersmith and Fulham, has asked the club managers to explain how they propose to protect the cemetery and the denizens of its catacombs before approving the new stadium, which the architects claim is inspired by Westminster Cathedral.

Easy. Rebrand the cemetery as a stand. The bodies should up the crowd for those mid-week matches.

 

 

 

 

Posted: 26th, August 2016 | In: Chelsea, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Ashley Cole will ‘snub’ Arsenal to help Chelsea kids understand greed

The Evening Standard reports that LA Galaxy defender Ashley Cole, 35, “says he wants to work for Chelsea after his playing career is over rather than Arsenal.”

It would take a touch of lunacy for Arsenal to offer Cole a job, presumably one tutoring young players in the way of modern football. As he says:

“I enjoy scouting, watching the young lads come through. I have done a little for my agent, but I’d like to do something a bit more serious. I’d love to go back to work at Chelsea somewhere, somehow.”

It was Cole, of course, who provided the words that more than any others sum up the greed rife in modern football. In My Defence, Cole wrote:

“Ash! Are you listening?” said a virtually hyperventilating Jonathan [his agent]. “I’m here in the office and David Dein is saying they aren’t going to give you £60k a week. They’ve agreed £55k and this is their best and final offer. Are you happy with that?”

When I heard Jonathan repeat the figure of £55k, I nearly swerved off the road. “He is taking the piss, Jonathan!” I yelled down the phone. I was so incensed. I was trembling with anger. I couldn’t believe what I’d heard.”

All yours, Chelsea. (Best to sort of Ashley’s fee first, though.)

 

Posted: 20th, August 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: Lukaku wants Chelsea, commits to Everton, goes nowhere

Transfer balls: The BBC says Everton striker Romelu Lukaku, 23, “will turn down Chelsea to stay at Goodison Park for at least another season”.

The BBC claim links to the Daily Mirror, which is adamant:

Romelu Lukaku is staying with Everton… The news is a massive boost for new boss Koeman.

All good news, then, for Everton fans. Much better than when the Mirror told them:

29 Jul 2016 – “Chelsea closing on transfer of Everton’s Romelu Lukaku as Toffees accept the striker wants Stamford Bridge return.”

27 June 2016 – “Arsenal transfer news and rumours: Romelu Lukaku wants Gunners move – but is the price too high?”

 

mirror lukaku everton

 

And:

Chelsea have had a £57million bid for Romelu Lukaku rejected by Everton – but are confident of agreeing a deal to re-sign him this summer. The two clubs are haggling over a fee, with the Toffees holding out for a club-record £75million. But they have finally accepted the 23-year-old striker is determined to rejoin the club they bought him off two years ago.

All wrong. Lukaku is a Toffee.

But hold on. The BBC has more news:

But Koeman has admitted that he is preparing a Plan B, in case the Belgium forward leaves the club.

That story links to the Daily Mail, which says:

Everton are planning for life without Romelu Lukaku in the eventuality their striker departs this month. Chelsea are heavily interested in the 23-year-old and Ronald Koeman has targets lined up should they bow to a mega offer, as with John Stones and Manchester City.

Such are the facts.

 

Posted: 20th, August 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: pig-headed Chelsea reserve Cesc Fabregas want Real Madrid move

Transfer balls: what news of Cesc Fabregas, the former Arsenal captain who left for his beloved Barcelona and now warms the bench at Chelsea? The Daily Express has some, reporting on August 15:

Chelsea have offered star [Fabregas] to Real Madrid

The Mirror confirmed the news:

 

fabregas barcelona

 

One day one and the Sun added:

Chelsea transfer news: Cesc Fabregas wants Real Madrid move and has contacted Florentino Perez

Blimey! Can a the former Barcelona player, a local boy done good, really join the Catalan club’s arch rivals? Have the pig’s heads on order.

No. Wait a moment. The Sun has more news. One day on from the scoop that Cesc wants Real, we read:

Chelsea transfer news: Cesc Fabregas will stay and fight for his Blues starting spot despite being dropped in favour of N’Golo Kante. Blues sources told SunSport Fabregas is NOT seeking a move away from Stamford Bridge and that it is highly unlikely he will leave this summer.”

Not quite, says the Star:

Cesc Fabregas is set to stay at Chelsea after being snubbed by Real Madrid, Barcelona, Paris Saint-Germain and Juventus.

Such are the facts.

 

Posted: 17th, August 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: Chelsea make two phantom bids for Everton’s Lukaku

Transfer balls: Has Romenlu Lukaku rejoined Chelsea from Everton? No. But the papers keep reporting that he could, telling readers of failed bids and makeweight players in swap deals.

The Sun, May 18: “Manchester United and Chelsea target Romelu Lukaku expects to leave Everton in £65million deal before Euro 2016”

Sky Sports, July 22: “Will these transfers happen: Romelu Lukaku to Chelsea, Jamie Vardy to Arsenal, Paul Pogba to Real Madrid?”

Answers: Maybe. No. No.

Daily Express, July 30: “Chelsea rebuffed in £57m Lukaku offer: Everton want £75m but accept departure is likely”

Daily Mirror, July 31: “Chelsea preparing £68million Romelu Lukaku bid”

Daily Mail, August 1: “Romelu Lukaku has told his Everton team-mates he wants to leave this summer. Chelsea have offered £68million for the Belgium international but Everton want £75m as reported in Sportsmail last month.

The Sun, August 6: “BEG-ING FOR ROM Romelu Lukaku to Chelsea: Antonio Conte’s Blues to offer Asmir Begovic and Loic Remy in bid to snap up striker”

The Sun says Chelsea “have already had a £65million offer turned down”.

And so to today’s news. The BBC says Chelsea have not made a single offer for the big Belgian striker.

 

The BBC, August 7: “Everton have been angered by what they see as Chelsea’s attempts to unsettle striker Romelu Lukaku, with the Blues yet to bid for the 23-year-old.”

Such are the facts.

 

Posted: 8th, August 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: Paul Pogba joins Manchester United ‘today’ and Chelsea in August 2015

Paul Pogba has finally signed for Manchester United says most of the media. Well, maybe:

August 5 – Daily Telegraph: “Will Mourinho announce Paul Pogba’s signing today?”

No.

August 4, Daily Express: “PAUL POGBA will be confirmed by Manchester United today”

August 2, Yahoo!: “Manchester United to make official Paul Pogba announcement today”

July 29, Independent: “Paul Pogba continues to dominate the headlines and his world-record … will be confirmed once Pogba’s medical in LA is completed later today.”

He never did arrive ‘today’. Other sources wee just as wrong.

July 29, Daily Mail:

 

pogba daily mail

 

July 20, Daily Mirror:

 

Pogba signs United Daily Mirror

 

Pogba to Manchester United was all beaten by the story of Pogba to Chelsea. It too was a done deal.

August 22, 2015, Daily Telegraph: “Chelsea transfer news and rumours: Blues agree £69 million deal with Juventus for Paul Pogba”

August 21 2015, The Sun:

 

pogba chelsea

 

CHELSEA have agreed a stunning £69million deal to sign Juventus’ Paul Pogba. The champions made the Italian giants an offer they cannot refuse for the French midfield powerhouse…

Barcelona were in pole position to sign him, with Manchester City also said to be in the running. But Chelsea gazumped everyone with a huge statement of intent from owner Roman Abramovich.

Since the Blues slumped to a 3-0 defeat at City on Sunday, the Russian has sanctioned a huge seven-day spree, signing Abdul Baba Rahman, Pedro and now Pogba.

Chelsea did not sign Pogba.

When he appears for Manchester United, then we’ll believe Pogba has rejoined the club he left four years ago.

Posted: 5th, August 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Chelsea snubbed, Manchester United linked and Joao Mario’s vanishing ink

Trasnfer balls spots the Sun’s report on “Chelsea transfer target Joao Mario”.

On Jul 14, it was disappointing news for the Blues. Mario “snubs Blues to seal Inter Milan move” stated the Sun.

 

transfer balls, Chelsea

 

Two Sun journalists told readers:

The Portugal star, 23, has agreed a five-year deal with the Serie A giants, after Sporting Lisbon accepted a £29million bid for the midfielder.

Today the Sun delivered an update. The agreement was no agreement after all. The “exclusive” was utterly wrong.

 

Chelsea tranfers

 

Anthony Chapman had new news:

MUST BE JOAO-KING Joao Mario to Chelsea: Manchester United target won’t be on the move this summer as Sporting Lisbon rule out transfer away

Euro 2016-winning Portugal midfielder linked with Premier League duo and Inter Milan but looks set to stay put.

Such are the facts.

Posted: 19th, July 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: Kante to Chelsea, Vardy verbally agrees to join Arsenal and remain at Leicester

And so begins the break-up of the Leicester City team that one with Premier League. The Telegraph says Chelsea have agreed to sign Leicester midfielder N’Golo Kante, 25, at the weekend for £29m. Kante, we read, will soon tell Foxes manager Claudio Ranieri he wants to leave Leicester.

Of course nothing has been decided. Kante has signed no contract.

Jamie Vardy, Kante’s Leicester team-mate rejected a £20m move to Arsenal and committed to Leicester earlier this summer. Or did he?

The Express told readers on June 7, “Jamie Vardy verbally agrees three-year Arsenal deal”.

Today the Express says, “Arsenal have already missed out on Jamie Vardy, who has verbally agreed a new contract with Leicester.”

Verbal agreements appear to be no agreements at all. Can we deduce from the news that Vardy to Arsenal remains on?

 

Posted: 15th, July 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Manchester United and Liverpool sign Arsenal’s Higuain as Chelsea wait

Transfer Balls favourite Argentina striker Gonzalo Higuain, 28, will not be renewing his contract with Napoli, reports Spain’s Radio Continental. We know, of course, that Higuain plays for Arsenal. The Sun reported Higuain signed for the Gunners in 2013.

 

higuain transfer

 

He never did, of course. The Sun was wrong.

So is Higuain leaving Napoli for the Premier League?

“There was talk of a project worthy of the Champions League, a convincing plan to fight for the Scudetto,” says Higuain’s agent and brother.”

The agent then dangles a large carrot:

 

 

 

 

“I don’t need to talk with the Parisian club about my brother, if PSG want him they should call [Napoli chairman] De Laurentiis.”

The Express says this puts Liverpool and Chelsea “on alert”.

But what of Manchester United? On March 16, the Metro declared: “Gonzalo Higuain agrees Manchester United.” One day later the Express added: “JOSE MOURINHO has personally agreed a deal to bring Gonzalo Higuain to Manchester United if he becomes manager.”

On May 30, the Metro changed its mind: “Napoli striker Gonzalo Higuain is keen to sign for Liverpool.” The Sun agreed. On June 7, it reported: “Liverpool set to seal mega-money deal for Napoli’s goal-scoring hero Gonzalo Higuain.”

 

Higuain liverpool

 

Such are the facts in the tabloids.

 

Posted: 29th, June 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, Liverpool, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United ‘favourites’ to land £78 Pogba who wants Real Madrid

As the summer arrives so too does the newspapers’ obsession with Paul Pogba, the former Manchester United player now starring for Juventus and France.

The Daily Mirror says Manchester United “must” pay £78m if they want Pogba back at Old Trafford. The Mirror says news United manager Jose Mourinho wanted Pogba when he was at Chelsea last season. But Chelsea and Manchester City baulked at the £71m asking price.

The Sun spots the Premier League’s “scramble” for Pogba. The clubs need not bother. The Sun says Pogba’s “dream is to play in La Liga for Real Madrid or Barcelona”.  The Juventus player is “waiting on Spain’s big two before making any decisions”.

Not so says the Manchester Evening News’s Rob Pollard: “Real Madrid, Barcelona, Manchester City and Chelsea have all been linked with him in the last 18 months – but it seems the path has cleared somewhat and United are now clear favourites to land him.”

 

manchester evening news pogba

Manchester Evening News 

 

So United will pay £78m? No, says the Express : “JOSE MOURINHO will offer Matteo Darmian as part of a deal to try and land Paul Pogba.” The deal is Darmian plus £60m cash.  So says the Express, which has also told its readers that Pogba has agreed to join PSG and Barcelona.

 

Pogba Barcelona Man United

 

Such are the facts.

 

Posted: 10th, June 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chelsea: Dr Carneiro is ‘disgruntled’ but Mourinho is just ‘Jose’

Dr Eva Carneiro turned to the courts when Chelsea failed to take a stand against her co-worker Jose Mourinho, who publicly humiliated her. Having rejected the club’s offer of £1.2 million to shut up and go away, Dr Carneiro continued to sue for justice.

Yesterday she settled her dismissal claim against Chelsea on confidential terms. She had claimed constructive dismissal against Chelsea. In addition she reached a discrimination settlement against Jose Mourinho.

Chelsea said it apologised “unreservedly”for its treatment of its former first-team doctor.

“The club regrets the circumstances which led to Dr Carneiro leaving the club and apologises unreservedly to her and her family for the distress caused. We wish to place on record that in running onto the pitch Dr Carneiro was following both the rules of the game and fulfilling her responsibility to the players as a doctor, putting their safety first.”

Mourinho, who denied calling the medic “daughter of a whore” (she alleged that he did) never issued a public apology. The Chelsea statement merely noted:

“Jose Mourinho also thanked Dr Carneiro for the excellent and dedicated support she provided as first team doctor and he wishes her a successful career.”

But why should Jose says sorry? The Manchester United manager (£15m a year) remains good ol’ Jose in the Mail, whereas the victim is a moody woman who got lucky:

 

dr carneiro sexist

 

Revolting.

Posted: 8th, June 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mourinho v Carneiro: Chelsea ‘whores’ and Chelsea ‘girls’

Former Chelsea team doctor Eva Carneiro is at an employment tribunal. Did former Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho call her “daughter of a whore” who was only suited to working with the juniors or the “ladys [sic]”? Mourinho, now at Manchester United, might not care about the ruling. After all, the case hasn’t prevented him from joining Manchester United.

The Times says Carneiro rejected an offer for £1.2m to settle out of court. She claims constructive dismissal against Chelsea. She also claims, in another case, that Mourinho targeted her for sexual discrimination.

You will recall, of course, how this nasty row started last August, when Mourinho, the then Chelsea boss, hurled abuse at Carneiro as she raced onto the pitch to treat Chelsea player Eden Hazard. Mourinho says he yelled “filho da puta” (son of a bitch). She says he yelled “filha da puta” (daughter of a bitch or daughter of a whore).

What Mourinho did say, after Carneiro was banished from the bench, was, “She works in academy team  or lady [sic] team not with me.”

Such are the facts.

And what of the reporting on alleged sexism in football? Well, the Star pretty much carries on regardless. An educated women in her early middle-age is a “girl doc”:

 

DR Eva Carneiro sexism

 

 

Posted: 7th, June 2016 | In: Chelsea, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: Manchester United offer £48m for £75m Pogba, who joined Chelsea for £69m

pogba manchester unitedTransfer balls: Manchester United want to invest £60m in Paul Pogba, the France and Juventus midfielder once on United’s books. The Sun says Jose Mourinho has “sanctioned the bid”.

The only things standing between United and Pogba are: Juventus trying to trigger a bidding war for their star player; Barcelona; United’s failure to appear in next season’s Champions’ League; Barcelona; any other big team with pots of cash; Manchester City; the fact that the bid is actually £48m plus bonuses, which values him less than Manchester City paid for Raheem Sterling; and did we mention Barcelona?

On the plus side, the Sun “understands” that Pogba likes Mourinho and his plan to make United “great again”.

Of course, we have read news of Pogba’s movements before in the Sun. There was the time he was joining Chelsea:

CHELSEA have agreed a stunning £69million deal to sign Juventus’ Paul Pogba. – August 2015 

PAUL POGBA is ready to snub Manchester City and extrend his deal with Juventus. The Frenchman is wanted by a host of top clubs but would come with a huge £75million-plus price tag. – March 2016

Paul Pogba ready to snub Manchester United, Real Madrid and Manchester City as he aims to cement his legacy at Juventus – May 2016

CHELSEA are in constant contact with Juventus star Paul Pogba over a possible £76million transfer – May 2016

Manchester United target Paul Pogba ‘buys house in Barcelona’ as Jose Mourinho looks set to miss out on Juventus star – June, 2016

Such are the facts.

Posted: 3rd, June 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: Chelsea and Man United in race to stop Arsenal getting Morata (again)

Transfer balls – a look at iffy reporting in the mainstream media. News is that Arsenal are still after Alvaro Morata.

The Mirror says “Arsenal and Chelsea could go head to head in the race to sign 23-year-old Juventus striker Alvaro Morata.” So only two clubs are in for the striker. It is a head-to-head race.

The Mirror adds:

Alvaro Morata has sparked an auction between Arsenal and Chelsea after admitting he believes the Premier League would be a “great destination.”

Or as the player wanted by PSG (source: The Mirror) and who has an agreement to re-sign for Real Madrid should they want him says:

 “Hopefully everything will be resolved before then, because it is uncomfortable to be helping your country with phone in hand. My wish is to succeed in Madrid… There are some offers from England that are tempting, not only because of the contract. I think my characteristics mean the Premier League would be a great destination.”

If Real don’t want him, then maybe he’ll look to the PL. It’s a head-to-head-to-head race – and one club has a massive head. As Spain’s AS put it:

Alvaro Morata wants a return to Real Madrid

In other news:

The Evening Standard and Manchester Evening News saysManchester United have added their head to the race – and United have a real bighead in charge:

 

Morata Manchester United

 

Morata Manchester United

 

 

And the Liverpool Echo say Liverpool want him:

 

Screen Shot 2016-06-01 at 16.02.48

 

Of course, Morata already plays for Arsenal. The Daily Star told us that:

 

Morata Arsenal

 

Such are the facts.

Posted: 1st, June 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Without his perfume Jose Mourinho will fail at Manchester United

jose mourinho perfume

 

What does new Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho smell like? The Star reports on “Chelsea’s ban on Jose aftershave”. In the changing room, yes. Unsettling for new Chelsea manager Antonio Conte to contend with the Portuguese winner’s legacy without picking up his essence as John Terry splashes the masking Jose for Him and Her all over (spoiler alert: Revenge by Jose smells of top notes of silver polish over base notes of bile, pith and whicker basket).

This story turns to the essence not of Jose’s scraped and diffused bed linen, rather to the story of who owns what in football. Do Chelsea or Manchester United own the rights to sell Jose Mourinho perfumes, suntan lotions, toothpaste, mouthwash, lipstick and nail polish? Which of Chevrolet (sponsors of Man United) and Jaguar (sponsors of Jose Mourinho) get to market the official in-car scent?

And can you ever own someone if you don’t possess their smell?

After all, in Patrick Süskind’s Perfume: The Story of a Murderer the killer who smelled of nothing “succeeded in being considered totally uninteresting… Odors have a power of persuasion stronger than that of words, appearances, emotions, or will. The persuasive power of an odor cannot be fended off, it enters into us like breath into our lungs, it fills us up, imbues us totally. There is no remedy for it.” Scent is “the invincible power to command the love of mankind.”

Get the smell of Jose or get nothing.

Meanwhile, at Chelsea, Conte may care to invest in odor-eaters for all staff, install a wet basset hound in the Chelsea dugout and refrain from washing his hair for months.

 

Posted: 28th, May 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United: Jose Mourinho’s Chelsea image rights in detail

In March 2005 Chelsea secured the legal rights to Jose Mourinho’s trademark for 20 years. This means that should Manchester United hire Mourinho, a move that seems as certain as Katie Price sleeping on her back, the Red Devils will be unable to stick their new manager’s name on such items as teddy bears, aftershave, computer games and all manner of tat. But how important is the Jose moniker?

In an “exclusive”, the Times says Chelsea’s ownership of the Mourinho trademark “will not delay his appointment at Old Trafford”.

 

Jose image rights Manchester United Times Chelsea

 

Or as the Mirror puts it: “Jose Mourinho’s appointment as Manchester Untied  manager is being delayed because Chelsea still own his signature.”

Not so, say the Times, which states: “Until recently Mourinho’s former employers [Chelsea] also owned the rights to reproduce his signature, but that ten-year trademark expired earlier this year…”

The Mirror then says United “face a six-figure bill to secure the rights to his signature and name”.

The Times says Chelsea could demand “several million pounds”.

The Sun says United will have to “£1million -plus” to use the name Jose Mourinho on merchandise.

 

Jose image rights Manchester United Mirror Chelsea

The Mirror – not an exclusive but not all correct, either

 

The Mail says the 20-year licence Jose signed with Chelsea in 2005 expires in, er, 2013. That Mail says it’s between 2013 and 2015. The Times says it’s 2025.

 

Jose image rights Manchester United Mail Chelsea

The Mail wonders about timing

 

Such are the facts.

Posted: 26th, May 2016 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Chelsea, manchester united, Money, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


War Chest Watch: Manchester United, Chelsea, Spurs, Arsenal, Everton, Manchester City and Liverpool transfer budgets announced

Manchester United transfers

 

As the Premier League season ends big media turns to transfer rumours. One issue is deciding how much each club has to spend on new players. With every club in line for a £99m bonus next season, you’d suppose every PL club can spend large on recruitment.

Sunderland: “Sam Allardyce will demand a summer war chest of up to £50million” – Sun

Spurs:  “Tottenham boss Mauricio Pochettino to be handed £60m war chest to strengthen squad” – Mail

Arsenal: Arsene Wenger £75m transfer fund this summer to bolster fragile defence and midfield” – Daily Telegraph

Everton: “£100m war chest to fund spending bonanza” – Daily Mirror

Liverpool: “Liverpool boss handed £100m summer transfer warchest… and targets have been identified” – Daily Star

Chelsea: “Chelsea to use chunk of £130m warchest to beat Arsenal to Alexis Sanchez replacement”

Manchester City: “Manchester City to hand Pep Guardiola a huge transfer chest for the summer” – Manchester Evening News

Manchester United: “Manchester United boss Louis van Gaal to get £150m war chest even without top-four spot” – Daily Express

Manchester United: “United Uncovered: Jose Mourinho’s £300m warchest” – Daily Express

Such are the facts…

Posted: 15th, May 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Broadsheets, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports, Spurs, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chelsea: Conte targets Lukaku, Vidal and Cavani as Costa has personality transplant

costa soldThe new Chelsea manager is Antonio Conte. He’s signed a contract worth:

£20m over three years (Mail)

£18m over three years (Sun)

15m over three years (Guardian)

£6.5m a year (Guardian)

£9m a year (Times)

As the papers do the sums, Dominic Fifield looks at what new faces Chelsea fans can expect to see that the Bridge:

While Conte is also pushing for the addition of Roma’s Belgian midfielder Radja Nainggolan, who is available for €35m, and further experienced defensive cover such as Leonardo Bonucci, Kostas Manolas, Kalidou Koulibaly and Antonio Rüdiger have been scouted at Juventus, Napoli and Roma respectively, where the latter is on loan from Bayer Leverkusen, it is perhaps telling he is to adopt the title head coach rather than manager. That would appear to reinforce Emenalo’s position at the club despite Chelsea’s patchy recent record on recruitment.

The Mirror says Conte will get shot of John Terry and Thibaut Courtois, replacing the latter with Southampton’s Fraser Foster. The Times points to Everton’s Romelu Lukaku making a pricey return, Edinson Cavani, Gonzalo Higuain and Artuo Vidal.

But Conte’s “top priority” (Mirror) is keeping Diego Costa. The Sun says Conte will “demand, discipline, decency and respect”. He might consider recruiting a psychologist to get Costa to fit the mould. And then order a personality transplant for the sneaky striker. But not matter because the Telegraph says Costa’s on his way to PSG.

And Conte has another pressing issue, says the Mail in the lead story “match-fix trial dogs new Chelsea boss”.

Conte’s legal team were in court in Cremona on Monday for the latest hearing of the match-fixing trial in which he is embroiled. It continues on Tuesday, when he will learn if the prosecution are seeking a fine or a prison sentence — though the latter is unlikely. Conte maintains his innocence and a decision is expected by mid-May.

If any fine is linked to his salary, you wonder what newspaper the judges will use as their source?

Posted: 5th, April 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: Arsenal lure Chelsea star with clickbait

quina arsenalThe Daily Telegraph has news: “Arsenal win race to sign Portuguese prodigy Domingos Quina.” Says Sam Wallace:

It represents a coup for the Arsenal academy who have traditionally not competed with the likes of Chelsea and Manchester City for the top teenage talent in Europe and beyond.

The Mail says that the deal has not yet been done:

Arsenal to complete signing of Chelsea starlet Domingos Quina in next 48 hours

The Indy then takes the Telegraph’s fact that isn’t and slips inverted commas around it:

Domingos Quina to Arsenal: ‘Gunners win race’ for teenager after he quits Chelsea

Just three days ago, the Metro told its readers:

Manchester United are clear to sign Chelsea wonderkid Domingos Quina

Two days ago the Sun said:

“Chelsea starlet Domingos Quina quits club and plans to join Premier League rival – Ace walks out on Blues with Man Utd, Spurs and Liverpool closing in”

Not deal is done until it’s done.

Posted: 28th, March 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chelsea balls: Daily Mail body shames fat Eden Hazard’s moobs

Wonderful work in the Daily Mail, which takes a break from appraising women’s bodies with a sneering look at Chelsea footballer Eden Hazard. Jeff Powell spotted Hazard swapping shirts at half-time with PSG’s Angel Di Maria when the clubs met in the Champions’ League last week. Powell wrote:

The tell-tale elements of that picture are the roll of blubber around the belly and the first signs of man boobs on the young Belgian who we elected as this country’s Footballer of the Year last season. At only just 25, Hazard looks as if he would be more at home propping up saloon bars along the King’s Road than kicking a ball around the pitch at Stamford Bridge.

Get a load of that bloater:

 

fat Eden Hazard

 

Jeff Powell is rarely pictured with his shirt off.

‘Fat’ Frank Lampard is away.

 

Posted: 15th, March 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chelsea balls: Diego Costa nuzzles Bale in rare episode of on-field foreplay

For a few hours yesterday the big talking point was England’s unexpectedly exiting win over Wales in the Six Nations rugby. But then the story broke that Chelsea’s Diego Costa had bitten someone on the BBC’s FA Cup coverage. After England had made a meal of beating a late-arriving Welsh team, the Chelsea striker was making a meal of Everton’s Gareth Bale. Well, so goes the allegation, which Costa denies.

The papers lap up the meaty juices. To the Mail this is “Costa’s Shame”, which is tabloidese for “Thank god we didn’t have to lead with the rugby”. So excited is the Mail that the Costa ‘bite’ features on two issues:

 

Costa Diego

Costa Diego

 

It’s all delicious stuff.

We’re awaiting a few words from David Cameron and Jeremy Corbyn to break from talking over the future of the EU, the economy, war and the planet to tell us how much sports matters and that Costa is a role model.

As it is, if you can’t tell a bite form non-bite, it can’t have been much of bite in the first place.

PS: Was it a bite? No. Gareth Bale says it wasn’t. Which makes us wonder why Diego Costa nuzzled Gareth Barry, and when being over-friendly becomes sexual harassment?

Posted: 13th, March 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chelsea: former club doctor Carneiro wants Mourinho to make a public apology

Chelsea’s former doctor Eva Carneiro wants Chelsea’s former manger Jose Mourinho to give her a public apology. She wants the public apology as part of any settlement in her employment case, reports the Guardian.

Carneiro is suing Chelsea for constructive dismissal and has a separate but connected personal legal action against Mourinho, the team’s former manager, for alleged victimisation and discrimination. The case appears destined for a full employment tribunal pencilled in for 6 June after a private mediation hearing in Croydon… did not yield a compromise over a financial package for compensation and damages.

What looked like a minor disagreement escalated. Jose’s pride had been wounded.

The doctor had been criticised by Mourinho and demoted from first-team duties after she and the physio Jon Fearn, waved on by the referee, entered the field of play to treat Eden Hazard in stoppage time at the end of a 2-2 draw with Swansea City on the season’s opening day last August. The Portuguese, manager, who was sacked by the struggling Premier League champions four months later, branded the pair “impulsive and naive”, with their actions having, in effect, left his side, already depleted, down to nine men for the final seconds.

Carneiro’s barrister, Mary O’Rourke QC, told ITV News:

“We’re not expecting a resolution today. The two sides are so far apart financially. And we want Mr Mourinho to make a public apology.”

She seeks control over Mourinho, the master media manipulator.

Rosy Smith notes in the Times:

Anyone who has even a passing acquaintance with the Portuguese notes just how proud he is. Most managers believe they are always right. They have to if they are to survive. Mourinho exists in a profession where pride is a necessity. And even by those standards, he is quite enormously proud….

Even if he knows, deep down, that he went too far with Carneiro, that he over-reacted, that he let the situation slip from his control, he is not likely to admit it publicly. That is not what Mourinho does…Instead, his approach seems to have been a relentless session of double-or-quits: not content with criticising her, he removed her from the front-line; not content with that, he banned her from the hotel. If Carneiro made a mistake, it was a minor one: acknowledging the support she had received by posting a message on Facebook. It was an entirely understandable thing to do – she is not, remember, used to being in the public eye in the way she has been – but it gave Mourinho a pretext to continue his draconian approach. She had broken the circle of trust. She could not be allowed back in.

So, about that public apology…

Posted: 8th, March 2016 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chelsea balls: Spurs managers makes shocking, shocking, shocking move

chelsea

 

The Sunday Times says Chelsea have made a “shock” move to “tempt” Tottenham manager Mauricio Pochettino. He’s been added to Chelsea’s “shortlist” of future managers.

The Sunday Times has been informed that Chelsea officials approached representatives of the Tottenham Hotspur manager towards the end of last month to discuss the possibility of him filling the vacant position.

Shocking stuff-  but not to Independent readers who read the same story back on January 26:

Mauricio Pochettino to Chelsea: Tottenham manager added to Blues wish list

 

Screen Shot 2016-03-06 at 16.20.27

 

It was also shocking in February, when the Daily Star reported on the rumour:

 

Screen Shot 2016-03-06 at 16.20.13

 

Shock of shocks…

Posted: 6th, March 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, Sports, Spurs | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chelsea star in Daily Telegraph caption horror

IMG_20160303_124107


Photo choice and caption work from the Telegraph is A++today, says @ashleyconnick

Posted: 3rd, March 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chelsea balls: John Terry shows us his home shrine to John Terry (photo)

John Terry home shrine

 

Chelsea captain John Terry has show the home shrine he keeps to his career. It’s full of trophies, England caps, shirts, bottles of man-of-the-match champagne, and what could be joss sticks (second shelf down).

He likes order, doesn’t he. The place looks like a smart changing room at an expensive health club.

Bobby Charlton was a bit more fun:

 

England's Bobby Charlton poses with his 100 caps

England’s Bobby Charlton poses with his 100 caps

 

Posted: 27th, February 2016 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0