Anorak

manchester united | Anorak

manchester united Category

Transfer Balls: Manchester United To Buy Vidal After Buying Vidal

TRANSFER Balls: The Daily Express has news for Manchester United fans longing for the Red Devils to finally spunk a shedload of cash on a player (it’s been weeks since the last splurge).

The Express reports:

The VIDAL DEAL IS ON

Screen shot 2014 10 23 at 15.51.53 Transfer Balls: Manchester United To Buy Vidal After Buying Vidal

 

Because the media are a herd, the Mirror reads that and chimes:

Manchester United are set to finally complete the signing of Arturo Vidal…

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 23rd, October 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United Balls: Alex Ferguson And Glazers At Odds Over Who Chose David Moyes

DAVID Moyes and Manchester United. Compare and contrast the role played by Sir Alex Ferguson in Moyes getting the top job at Old Trafford:

David Moyes, May 2013:

“It’s a great honour to be asked to be the next manager of Manchester United. I am delighted that Sir Alex saw fit to recommend me for the job”

Alex Ferguson, October 2014:

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 22nd, October 2014 | In: manchester united | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


West Brom Fans Mock Manchester United With Tom Daley And Hello Kitty

PA 21238368 West Brom Fans Mock Manchester United With Tom Daley And Hello Kitty

West Bromwich Albion’s Stephane Sessegnon celebrates scoring his sides first goal of the game during the Barclays Premier League match at The Hawthorns, West Bromwich.

 

MANCHESTER Untted drew 2-2 with West Bromwich Albion in the Premier League tonight. United are a shadow of their former selves. But an away draw at The Baggies is not too shabby.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 20th, October 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United Balls: A Killer In The Hotel And The Newspaper Offices

THE Sun leads with news of Manchester United and the killer in the hotel.

 

Screen shot 2014 10 14 at 09.43.47 Manchester United Balls: A Killer In The Hotel And The Newspaper Offices

 

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 14th, October 2014 | In: manchester united, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Want To See Photos Of Manchester United ‘Ace’ Antonio Valencia’s Willy?

Screen shot 2014 10 12 at 07.57.26 Want To See Photos Of Manchester United Ace Antonio Valencias Willy?

 

FOR those of you not turned on by naked selfies of fiftysomething Tory MP Brooks Newmark, the Sun offers the option on Line 2 for naked selfies of “MANCHESTER United ace Antonio Valencia”.

MANCHESTER United ace Antonio Valencia stands topless in one of a series of explicit selfies he sent to two women behind his wife’s back. The 29-year-old international also invited the pair to join him in hotel sex sessions.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 12th, October 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Manchester United’s Paul Pogba Dreams Of Arsenal, Wants Chelsea, Hunted By Liverpool But Moves To Manchester City

TRANSFER Balls: Is Paul Pogba heading to Manchester City. The Times says City are weighing up a move for the former Manchester United player, now with Juventus.

And he’s heading to the Etihad. Well, maybe:

Pogba, 21, has established himself as one of the top young players in Europe since leaving Manchester United for Turin two years ago and City are understood to have identified him as one of a number of possible midfield targets.

Such as…?

Ross Barkley is another option being considered by City, who inquired in June about the prospect of signing the Everton and England midfielder, only to be quoted a £50 million fee.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 11th, October 2014 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United Hardman Roy Keane Beats The Living Daylights Out Of Chelsea’s Jose Mourinho

Roy Keane Manchester United Hardman Roy Keane Beats The Living Daylights Out Of Chelseas Jose Mourinho

 

BY now you’ll be wondering what former Manchester United captain Roy Keane has been up. How’s the anger? Are the dogs well?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 10th, October 2014 | In: Chelsea, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United Balls: Roy Keane Finally Escapes The Haaland Trauma

Screen shot 2014 10 08 at 10.54.27 Manchester United Balls: Roy Keane Finally Escapes The Haaland Trauma

Alf-Inge Rasdal “Alfie” Håland replies

 

MANCHESTER United’s former captain Roy Keane has a book out. It’s his second autobiography. To show how much he’s moved on, he talks of former Leeds Untied midfielder Alf-Inge Rasdal “Alfie” Håland:

“It was action; it was football. It was dog eats dog. I’ve kicked lots of players and I know the difference between hurting somebody and injuring somebody. I didn’t go to injure Haaland. When you play sport, you know how to injure somebody. There was no premeditation.”

Or as he put it in his 2002 autobiography:

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 8th, October 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United Balls: 7 Hateful Extracts From Roy Keane’s Autobiography

PIES has some good bits from former Manchester United captain Roy Keane’s second autobiography. Ghost written by Irish novelist Roddy Doyle The Second Half picks up where his first left off – in that basically it’s a long, extended list of the many, many things and people he hates.

Here’s the best of what we’ve stumbled across so far…

1. From the very first chapter. Has Roy’s view of Alf-Inge Haaland softened over the years?

“There are things I regret in my life and he’s not one of them.”

No. No it has not.

2. On the fond treasured memories he has of his emotional United exit:

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 6th, October 2014 | In: Books, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United Will Sign Radamel Falcao As Soon As Manchester City Let Him Go

PA 20908544 Manchester United Will Sign Radamel Falcao As Soon As Manchester City Let Him Go

At least it means he’ll buy a new shirt every year

 

CAN it be true that Manchester United have agreed to keep Radamel Falcao at the club – and that the player has accepted a weekly wage of £250,000, plus add ons?

And United will pay Monaco a tranfer fee of £43.5m?

The Press is full of news that the deal has been done. The Express reports:

Radamel Falcao has agreed personal terms over a £43.5m permanent transfer to Old Trafford. The Colombian striker is on a season-long loan deal from Monaco but he is keen to complete a full-time switch. United have agreed to pay Falcao £250,000-a-week plus add ons in a £43.5m deal.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 3rd, October 2014 | In: Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Edinson Cavani Joins Arsenal But Wanted Heavenly Manchester United

TRANSFER Balls: The Guardian looks at Arsenal and a top player and wonders aloud:

Football transfer rumours: Arsenal to end Edinson Cavani’s PSG hell?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 2nd, October 2014 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Cristiano Ronaldo Picks Up His Manchester United Pension

CAN the Daily Express keep the Cristiano Ronaldo to Manchester Untied story alive for ages? Yes. It’s cooked up a cracking non-story:

CRISTIANO RONALDO could make a dramatic return to Manchester United in 2016…

As the Express looks forward to 15 months of Ronaldo to United speculation, the paper’s James Dickenson conjures a story from nothing:

CRISTIANO RONALDO is set to make a dramatic return to Manchester United in 2016, according to Spanish football expert Guillem Balague.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 30th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United Balls: Wayne Rooney Blames Defenders And His Independent Leg For Red Card

WHEN Manchester United captain Wayne Roony was sent off, Alan Shearer had yhe focus of his Sun column settled:

WAYNE ROONEY’S stupidity was symptomatic of just where Manchester United are right now.

Rooney was sent off not because he’s an agressive berk.  Rooney was sent off because United are in a “confused mess”.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 29th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Manchester United Sign Miranda Four Months After They Already Did

TRANSFER Balls: The Daily Express says Manchester United are all set to buy Miranda for £24m. And that means they will pip Chelsea to the player.

 

Screen shot 2014 09 26 at 12.13.40 Transfer Balls: Manchester United Sign Miranda Four Months After They Already Did

 

 

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 26th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Manchester United Figure On Cristiano Ronaldo

Screen shot 2014 09 26 at 11.15.21 Transfer Balls: Manchester United Figure On Cristiano Ronaldo

 

TRANSFER Balls: Is Cristiano Ronaldo leving Real Madrid to play for Manchester United?

Admittedly, Roanldo has hardly been pouring old water on rumours that he wants out of Real, telling media:

“I love Manchester; everyone knows that – I have said it many times. Manchester is in my heart. I left many good friends there, the supporters are amazing and I wish I can come back one day.”

And thyen he said:

“It is all speculation. I’m happy at Madrid. I won’t talk about my future, it doesn’t make sense.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 26th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Manchester United To Spend £40m On ‘Chelsea’s’ Nicolas Otamendi

Screen shot 2014 09 25 at 21.00.36 Transfer Balls: Manchester United To Spend £40m On Chelseas Nicolas Otamendi

 

TRANSFER Balls: The Daily Express says  Manchester United are looking to spend £40m (!) on “Chelsea and Man City target Nicolas Otamendi to bolster defence”.

Top Transfer Balls works by the Express, there, to link a player with three of the top five English clubs. The only shock is that Arsenal and Lvierpool ar enot also linked with Otamendi.

But, of course, according to the Express, Otamendi already plays for Chelsea. As Ben Jefferson told us:

 

Screen shot 2014 09 25 at 21.03.47 Transfer Balls: Manchester United To Spend £40m On Chelseas Nicolas Otamendi

 

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 25th, September 2014 | In: Chelsea, manchester united, Sports | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Spurs Fans Attack Manchester United In The Saddest Way Imaginable

IN football, you define yourself by your rivals. And Spurs - who last won the league title in 1961 – have decided that the team they can rib and goad is Manchester United, who have won the league title in colour.

This T-shirt was spotted for sale outside White Hart Lane tonight, where Spurs were playing Nottingham Forest (league winners: 1977).

 

 

Screen shot 2014 09 24 at 22.04.24 Spurs Fans Attack Manchester United In The Saddest Way Imaginable

 

 

The TV show being lampooned by Wayne Rooney, Angel Dia Maria and Louis Van Gaal (two players who would walk into the Spurs side and a manager who declined the offer to manage Spurs) is Only Fools And Horses, which after peaking in the early 1980s, dribbled on until it excited only as a nostalgic tick, a Christmas treat right up there with adverts for Iceland’s frozen squirrels.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 24th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports, Spurs | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Manchester United Buy Vidal For £10m Less Than They Bought Him For

TRANSFER Balls: The Daily Express, football’s bullshit.com, tells its readers that Arturo Vidal is heading to England to play for…Manchester United. Colin Harvy says Vidal and curent club Juventus will be seduced b y £35m.

 

 

Screen shot 2014 09 24 at 13.07.27 Transfer Balls: Manchester United Buy Vidal For £10m Less Than They Bought Him For

 

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 24th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Manchester United Linked To Gerard Pique Who Is Happy To ‘Fail’ At Barcelona

TRANSFER Balls: The Daily Express (natch.) has news that “MANCHESTER UNITED are lining up a sensational return for Barcelona and Spain star Gerard Pique”.

United buying a decent defender is a sensation. But what are the facts about Pique?

Anthony Chapman writes:

Despite turning out for the La Liga outfit 269 times, winning four league title, two Copa del Reys and two Champions Leagues in the process, Pique has failed to make an impression under new boss Luis Enrique.

Failed to make an impression? Because in May, the Mirror reported:

Club president Josep Maria Bartomeu says the Blaugrana are holding onto “the best centre-back in the world and a core part of the new project here”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 24th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United: Just another Chelsea

FOR a long time now, Manchester United fans have goaded other clubs for throwing their money around and buying various titles, accusing their rivals of having no soul.

Of course, ManYoo are no better, from their club-made banners that hang in the stadium to the very obvious huge sums of money they’ve thrown around themselves at their various squads. Sure, they’ve played some lads from the youth team, but that doesn’t make them any better than their competitors. In fact, in a lot of cases, they’ve spent more money that the rivals they mock.

This year, we saw Man Utd spend 18% of ALL the money forked out by Premier League clubs in this summer’s transfer window.

The club splashed £59.7m on Angel di Maria from Real Madrid alone, while in the meantime, selling off two promising young strikers from their squad in Welbeck and Hernandez. Even in Falcao, a mere loan player, Man Utd will be paying him more money than Wayne Rooney earns. Falcao will be getting more money from Old Trafford bosses than Arsenal will pay Alexis Sanchez and Mesut Ozil combined.

And now, former Manchester United defender Phil Neville thinks that the club need another spending spree, with a £100 million-plus blurt required if they’re going to challenge for the league title.

With new manager Louis van Gaal throwing money around like a new lottery winner on Di Maria, Luke Shaw, Ander Herrera, Marcos Rojo, Daley Blind and Radamel Falcao, Neville thinks that there’s more cash to be spent.

“I know United have spent £150m,” he told BBC Radio 5 Live. “I think there’s another two transfer windows of similar amounts of money needed – maybe £100m – before they can even think about winning the title. There are still key positions in the team that need filling. I think the centre-back position is obviously the key area. Holding midfield or centre midfield needs addressing too.”

‘There were no world-class centre backs out there (this summer). I think that’s why in the next two transfer windows, United might still be looking for that world-class defender.”

Of course, there’s a number of fans who will love this, because a maintainable business model or the heart of a club don’t matter when all you’re concerned about is numbers and trophies. It must stick in the craw of older Man United fans who see their fellow fans concerning themselves only with how many trophies the club have and how much money they can spend.

There’s Manchester United fans who sing to smaller teams “We’ve got a stand that’s bigger than your ground”, or supporters who mock Arsenal for their lack of trophies. A product of the ‘football is a results business’ rhetoric, which is making many elements of professional football so achingly tedious, Manchester United, naturally, does have a heart and soul, just like Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester City & Co, but it has been swallowed by short memories and overdrafts.

The Top 5 Mentality is the single most tedious facet of modern football, with more games happening each weekend that aren’t even in the Premier League. Manchester United’s fans who define their love by success are, whether they like it or not, the thing they level against hooting Liverpool fans who bleat on about the 70s and 80s, and the thing they berate Chelsea and Manchester City for.

And now, in the post Ferguson years, Manchester United fans are finding out, or being reminded, that reputation and cheque books count for nothing and that, you better find something else to love and enjoy about football because, without the success, you’ll have nothing to cheer about.

At Old Trafford, the young players aren’t valued like they were, the club is getting into dangerous debt, managers are binned off without completing a season and it doesn’t look like the rot in the boardroom is being protected from the people who are required to get results on match day.

It’s easy to tell yourself you’ve heart and soul when you’ve got a club that has the money to design it and implement it for you…

Posted: 23rd, September 2014 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United Balls: Di Maria Invites You To Kick His Family In The Face

Screen shot 2014 09 22 at 14.42.07 Manchester United Balls: Di Maria Invites You To Kick His Family In The Face

 

EVERY time you kick Manchester United’s Angel Di Maria in the shins, you kick his wife and daughter in the face. Well, not really them, more the photograph of the player’s family he keeps tucked into his socks.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 22nd, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mario Balotelli Bombarded With Racist Abuse After ‘LOL’ Man United Tweet

balotelli racism1 Mario Balotelli Bombarded With Racist Abuse After ‘LOL’ Man United Tweet

NOW at Liverpool and once of Manchester City, Mario Balotelli tweeted a ‘LOL’ in response toManchester United’s spectacular collapse against Leicester City. Of course, Balotelli’s big-spending Liverpool were only yesterday beaten by West Ham United. So. Manchester United players are free to ‘LOL’ right back at him.

But then Balotelli’s Twitter feed attracted a blitzkerig of abuse.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 21st, September 2014 | In: Liverpool, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Manchester United Sell Mata To Juventus Because They Already Bought Vidal

TRANSFER Balls: Are Juventus going to buy Manchester United’s Juan Mata?

On September 9, the Express reported tht Mata was waned by Juventus, Atletico Madrid and Valencia. All three clusb are considering making £24m offers for the former Chelsea man.

 

Screen shot 2014 09 18 at 09.19.36 Transfer Balls: Manchester United Sell Mata To Juventus Because They Already Bought Vidal

 

 

Alex Harris then adds:

The Old Lady’s interest in the playmaker could push Red Devils boss Louis van Gaal to pursue a swap deal involving box-to-box midfielder Arturo Vidal.

That wold be the Arturo Vidal who joined Manchester Untied in the summer. We read that new in the Express.

Screen shot 2014 09 02 at 09.10.471 Transfer Balls: Manchester United Sell Mata To Juventus Because They Already Bought Vidal

 

Screen shot 2014 09 02 at 09.11.081 Transfer Balls: Manchester United Sell Mata To Juventus Because They Already Bought Vidal

 

 

United never did buy De Jong. And Vidal never did move to United.

In any case, £24m is not enough for Juventus to buy Mata. As the Star said on September 9, United are asking £30m for the midfielder:

 

Screen shot 2014 09 18 at 09.25.45 Transfer Balls: Manchester United Sell Mata To Juventus Because They Already Bought Vidal

 

 

And so to the Express’ news of September 17:

 

Screen shot 2014 09 18 at 09.27.14 Transfer Balls: Manchester United Sell Mata To Juventus Because They Already Bought Vidal

 

 

Juventus don’t want Mata. But do Valencia and Atletico?

Mata has been one of the few players to make an impression for the Red Devils this season, and Louis Van Gaal is not willing to let him for Juventus unless a swap deal involving Arturo Vidal can be struck.

And on it goes.

More utter balls presented as news in the mainstream media every day….

Posted: 18th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United Balls: Fan Gets ‘Sir Alex Feguson’ Is Dead Tattoo

Screen shot 2014 09 18 at 13.09.06 Manchester United Balls: Fan Gets Sir Alex Feguson Is Dead Tattoo

 

MANCHESTER United fan of the day is the schmuck who got a ‘Sir Alex Feguson’ tattoo on his arm.

Who is Sir Alex Feguson. And what did he do in his 27 years on Earth?

 

Posted: 18th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: ‘PSG Goalkeeper’ Invites Manchester United Fans To Plunder Paris

TRANSFER Balls: The Daily Express continues to be rich source for utter drivel presented as rumour-based fact.

Today, the paper tells readers that Paris Saint-Germain goalkeeper has “risked the wrath of United fans by suggesting he wasn’t sad to see Angel Di Maria move to Manchester”.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 17th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0