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Klopp Balls: Dortmund Manager Wants Arsenal Job, Get Liverpool Job And Waits For Manchester United Job

The Daily Express has been planning Jurgen Klopp’s future. Apparently, the German manager of Boruisia Dortmund is desperate to work in England. The Express says Klopp is to manage Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester United.

September 5: “Man Utd News: Klopp to succeed Van Gaal”

Novermber 10: “WENGER OUT! The FIVE contenders to replace Arsene at Arsenal (with Klopp top target)”

November 21: “Let’s talk! Jurgen Klopp issues come-and-get-me plea to Arsenal”

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Posted: 24th, November 2014 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United Are One Justin Bieber Away From Total Victory

MANCHESTER United news: the club’s executive vice-chairman told investors.

 

“Di Maria saw a 12-times increase on Google searches on the day of his transfer. When Blind signed his Twitter following increased by 72 per cent.”

Manchester United ARE winning! 3million Somalian tweeters cannot be wrong!

Unless… breaking news: 87% of new  Manchester United fans in Premier League colonies also follow Arsenal, Chelsea, Barcelona, Ronaldo, Bayern Mu…

Message to United: buy Stephen Fry and Justin Bieber now – before Man City get them!

Posted: 19th, November 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Ten Years on from Pizzagate: Man Utd and Arsenal both look toothless now

TEN years ago, Manchester United and Arsenal indulged in one of football’s daftest climaxes. The feud between the two teams culminated in someone throwing pizza. Apart from the tragic waste of pizza (in what is now officially America’s ‘National Pizza Week’), everyone laughed apart from those involved.

This week, it transpires that Cesc Fabregas could well be the main culprit for slinging pizza at Sir Alex Ferguson. Or at least, that’s the story according to Martin Keown when talking about the Battle of the Buffet.

“As I said on the radio a few years ago, from what I understand it was a Spanish fella with great technique,” says Keown. “Even when it came to the pizza he had great technique. He threw it like a Frisbee.”

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Posted: 18th, November 2014 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United Balls: Angel Di Maria Dreams Of PSG Who Never Wanted Him

ANGEL DI MARIA has revealed why he joined Manchester United. The massively under-paid player tells one and all why he left Real Madrid for a British record of £59.7million and £280,000-a-week compensation.

Di Maria says bne joined United because Paris Saint Germain couldn’t afford him:

“PSG had a money problem and they couldn’t buy players. This is the main reason I didn’t go there. A lot of clubs were interested in me. But Manchester United appeared and didn’t go away. They absolutely wanted me and it happened. I don’t have regrets about leaving Real Madrid. It’s a different style at United but I’m happy.”

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Posted: 17th, November 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Chelsea, Manchester City, Liverpool And Arsenal Do The OK Koke For Manchester United Star

TRANSFER Balls: The Daily Express says “Barcelona ready to beat Manchester United, Chelsea and Liverpool with a summer bid for Koke”.

As ever, the Express aims to get as many big clubs as possible into its story. The aim – the fabled Full House – is to link a player with the top five English clubs.

Footy expert Bruce Archer tells readers:

…reports in Spain say Koke, along with Lars Bender, is Barcelona’s priority for the summer.

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Posted: 14th, November 2014 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Which Player Is Heading To Arsenal, Manchester United, West Ham, Swansea, Everton, Hull And Spurs?

TRANSFER Balls: Marseilles striker Andre Ayew has uttred not word on moving to the Premier League. But that hasn’t stopped the media from speculating:

Daily Express, November 13: “Andre Ayew could join Arsenal, Liverpool or Manchester United for just £1.5m in January”

SpyGhana, November 5: “West Ham looks to sign Andre Ayew”

Liverpool Echo, November 3 2014: “Everton FC transfer gossip: Blues eye Ayew January swoop”

Hull Daily Mail, October 20: “Hull City face competition to bring in the forward during the January transfer window.”

The Sun, October 19: “Liverpool, Everton, Swansea, Hull and West Ham are all keen and are watching developments.”

Daily Express, October 14: “Arsenal, Liverpool, Man Utd and Spurs handed January BOOST with Andre Ayew set for exit”

Daily Star, October 14: “Arsenal, Liverpool, Newcastle, Manchester United and Spurs target Andre Ayew set for January switch”

In other news, Andre Ayew is going to Napoli

Posted: 13th, November 2014 | In: Arsenal, Liverpool, manchester united, Sports, Spurs | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United Balls: Radamel Falcao And The Arsenal Issue

MANCHESTER United Balls: How fit is Radamel Falcao?

The Sun: “RADAMEL FALCAO’S hopes of returning to action after the international break have been dashed by Louis van Gaal.”

The Star: “Radamel Falcao set to make Man Utd RETURN at Arsenal”

Such are the facts…

Posted: 12th, November 2014 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United Balls: You’ll Never Guess Who Van Gaal’s ‘Sworn Enemy’ Is

MANCHESTER United manager Louis van Gaal is trading on former glories. His tenure at United has been one of big-spending confusion. The buzzword is ‘transition’, but Southampton are proving that to be a load of balls.

A new book on the Manchester United boss, O, Louis: In Search of Louis van Gaal, contains a few gems. Author Hugo Bors, describes it as a “journey into the sinister recesses”.

(Incidentally, we are told that Van Gaal’s “sworn enemy” is Ronald Koeman.)

On Truus, life with Mrs Van Gaal:

‘The way he treats Truus in company is ungentlemanly and sometimes downright disgraceful. In the company of friends and acquaintances, Louis has made comments that in nine out of 10 marriages would have been grounds for divorce.

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Posted: 11th, November 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Mats Hummels Wants Arsenal But Only Manchester United Can Afford Him

PA 17986936 Transfer Balls: Mats Hummels Wants Arsenal But Only Manchester United Can Afford Him

 

TRANSFER Balls: With Arsenal’s defence in a mess, the papers speculate on which stars could join the Gunners.

The Mirror: “Mats Hummels ‘wants Arsenal move’ in January as Dortmund fear centre-back will leave”

The defender is valued at £30m and is also a target for Manchester United but sources in Germany believe the player would prefer a move to the Emirates

Arsenal will pay £30m for Hummels.

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Posted: 11th, November 2014 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester City Fan Noel Gallagher Signs Manchester United Irritant Gary Neville’s Guitar

FORMER Manchester United player Gary Neville asked celebrity Manchester City fan Noel Gallagher to sign his guitar.

Noel’s message to Red Nev reads:

Screen shot 2014 11 10 at 13.35.13 Manchester City Fan Noel Gallagher Signs Manchester United Irritant Gary Nevilles Guitar

 

Dear Gary,

How many caps have you got for England?

How many do you think you deserved?

I’ll tell you…

F*CKIN’ NONE!!!

Lots of love, Noel Gallagher x

M.C.F.C

 

Posted: 10th, November 2014 | In: Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Did Di Maria Make A Mistake Signing for Man United?

WHEN  you’re a footballer who can command a price tag of £59.7 million, chances are, you can walk into just about any team in the world. With that, you can have your pick of the trophies you’d like to be winning. When you’re at that level of the game, trophies is what it is all about, so you can text your other insanely successful pals and boast.

When Angel Di Maria signed for Manchester United, he was joining one of the most famous clubs in the world and playing for one of the most respected managers in the game, in Louis Van Gaal.

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Posted: 7th, November 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United: Now Offering Money to Players To Go Away

BEFORE this season, Manchester United have signed a host of players that haven’t exactly lived up to the hype. While Alex Ferguson has signed some incredible players like Cantona, Ronaldo and Denis Irwin, he’s also the man who threw money at David Bellion, Bebe, Eric Djemba-Djemba, Jordi Cruyff, Karel Poborsky, William Prunier and Kléberson.

Another one of Fergie’s Flops is Anderson, who has given Manchester United the kind of performances that suggest he’d struggle to walk into a Championship team, let alone another one of Europe’s giants.

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Posted: 4th, November 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United Lummox Marouane Fellaini Didn’t Spit On Manchester City’s Sergio Aguero: He Drooled

MANCHESTER United are an expensive mess. Manchester City are powerful. And the talk is on whther or not Marouane Fellaini spat at Sergio Aguero during the Manchester derby.

Did he?

The Mirror says he did – maybe:

…pictures appear to show him spitting at the match winner… Pictures showed Fellaini leaning over Aguero and abusing him – and appearing to spit in his direction – after the City striker had gone down under a challenge from him in the United area.

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Posted: 3rd, November 2014 | In: manchester united, Newcastle United, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Arsenal Sell Julian Draxler To Manchester United

TRANSFER Balls: The Daily Express has an “EXCLUSIVE”. News is that “Arsenal face fresh battle from Man Utd for Schalke star Julian Draxler”. What with his being an Express exclusive, it is most likely utter balls.

John Richardson writes:

MANCHESTER UNITED have joined Arsenal in the pursuit of emerging German midfielder Julian Draxler.

Richardson adds:

But both clubs were left stunned on Friday night when the 21-year-old limped off after just 15 seconds in Schalke’s 1-0 victory over Augsburg in the Bundesliga.

Arsenal and Manchester were “stunned” by an injury to an injury-prone player who doesn’t play for them.

And let’s not forget other Daily Express Draxler scoops:

January:

 

Screen shot 2014 11 02 at 16.09.28 Transfer Balls: Arsenal Sell Julian Draxler To Manchester United

 

In October, the Mirror had other news:

Arsenal step up Julian Draxler interest sending scouts to monitor Schalke playmaker - The German World Cup winner has been on Wenger’s radar for a number of years and the Gunners could soon be set to test Schalke’s resolve

The Metro told its readers that Draxler “missed out on a place in this summer’s successful World Cup squad”.

Today the Metro says “Manchester United are closing in on a double deal for Schalke 04 pair Julian Draxlerand Benedikt Howedes.”

The Daily Star says United are “set to win the race for Draxler”.

And the Express told readers: “Schalke slap £60m price tag on Chelsea target Julian Draxler.”

Such are the facts.

Posted: 2nd, November 2014 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Arsenal Balls: £7m Reasons Why Pep Guardiola Will Head To Manchester United

THE London Evening Standard reports that “Arsenal will join race for former Barcelona boss when Spaniard leaves Bayern Munich”. That former Barca boss is Pep Guardiola.

But how does Writer Paul Smith know Arsenal will be after the Spaniard?

Pep Guardiola is expected to quit Bayern Munich at the end of next season – just when Arsene Wenger might be ready to relinquish his role as manager of Arsenal.

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Posted: 1st, November 2014 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United Balls: Gary Neville Would Kill For Manchester City’s Defence

MANCHESTER United great Gary Neville has made a name a talented TV pundit. His writing , however, is less pointed. In the Telegraph, Neville bemoans the lowering of Premier League defences.

The death of an ex-playing TV pundit is when he continually says: “In my day it was like this – and it was better”. I find myself feeling that the Premier League is a far superior place than when I set out in 1992 – but one area of slippage is defending, as Sunday’s Manchester derby may illustrate.

Manchester United and Manchester City are leaking goals. City have let in 10 in 9; United 13 in 9.

United are in a state of flux at the back. But City remain formidable, and have the better players. Manchester United would break the bank for a Vincent Kompany.

Both clubs have amassed a vast array of firepower. Yet each is currently struggling to balance defence with attack at a time of huge change in the way the game is played. If you look at the Premier League goalscoring chart, it bursts into the thousands from 2010 on. There were 942 goals in 2009 and 1052 last season. That’s a huge shift. Once you have a five-year trend of more goals being conceded and more scored it starts to look irreversible. It points to a permanent change in the sport.

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Posted: 31st, October 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Sami Khedira Heads To Arsenal Before Moving To Manchester City And Back To Chelsea

Screen shot 2014 10 31 at 08.20.34 Transfer Balls: Sami Khedira Heads To Arsenal Before Moving To Manchester City And Back To Chelsea

The Mirror says Khedira is a Gunner

 

TRANSFER Balls: Anorak’s look at football speculation passed off as sensation and fact. Let’s see ehat the mesi has been saying about Sami Khedira and his move from Real Madrid to Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester United, Manchester City or anywhere else.

It sesm that Arsenal need Khedira most, with former Gunner Perry Groves (he of the Perry Groves world) quoted in the Evening Standard:

If Arsenal can get their injured players back while making sure the gap to the top doesn’t get too big with Chelsea and City then they have a chance to challenge for the title. If they can get to within six or seven points by the time the January transfer window opens and then sign Khedira, they could win it.”

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Posted: 31st, October 2014 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: You Will Never Beleive Which Real Madrid Star Manchester United Are ‘Buying’

Screen shot 2014 10 29 at 21.03.06 Transfer Balls: You Will Never Beleive Which Real Madrid Star Manchester United Are Buying

 

TRANSFER Balls: Splendid balls in the Daily Star which links Manchester United with a move for Gareth Bale. Let’s take a look at how the Star’s scoop breaks down.

The headline is informative:

Man Utd FREE to sign Gareth Bale as Real Madrid reveal they are willing to sell

Real want to sell the superb Gareth Bale? The Metro puts a price on the deal:

Real Madrid happy to sell Gareth Bale to Manchester United in £90m transfer deal

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Posted: 29th, October 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Hands Off In The Box: The Daily Mail’s Campaign That No-One Wants

THE Daily Mail has campaign. It wants readers to:

Join Sportsmail’s Hands Off In The Box campaign by parading the logo at matches.

You can just see football fans holding up the Daily Mail’s logo with pride. To date, the only newspaper referenced at football matches is the Sun. Liverpool fans upset over the Sun’s Hillsborough coverage ask fellow fans not to buy it.

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Posted: 29th, October 2014 | In: Chelsea, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Liveprool And Manchester United Balls: Luis Suarez Maintains He’s No Racist

PA 12739280 Liveprool And Manchester United Balls: Luis Suarez Maintains Hes No Racist

Manchester United’s Patrice Evra, right, celebrates alongside Liverpool’s Luis Suarez after Manchester United’s 2-1 win over their Merseyside rivals following their English Premier League soccer match at Old Trafford Stadium, Manchester, England, Saturday, Feb. 11, 2012. (AP Photo/Jon Super)

 

THERE’S been a lot of trouble around former Liverpool player Luis Suarez, the last being a rather peculiar bite on an opponent when Uruguay played Italy in the World Cup.

However, off all the things that Suarez has done, the racism row where he used the word “negrito” in a spat with Manchester United’s Patrice Evra is the one that looms largest. And Suarez is adamant that he is not a racist and that he was simply misunderstood by non-Spanish speakers. While admitting that a row took place, he says he is “absolutely not” a racist.

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Posted: 29th, October 2014 | In: Liverpool, manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Manchester United To Buy Vidal After Buying Vidal

TRANSFER Balls: The Daily Express has news for Manchester United fans longing for the Red Devils to finally spunk a shedload of cash on a player (it’s been weeks since the last splurge).

The Express reports:

The VIDAL DEAL IS ON

Screen shot 2014 10 23 at 15.51.53 Transfer Balls: Manchester United To Buy Vidal After Buying Vidal

 

Because the media are a herd, the Mirror reads that and chimes:

Manchester United are set to finally complete the signing of Arturo Vidal…

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Posted: 23rd, October 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United Balls: Alex Ferguson And Glazers At Odds Over Who Chose David Moyes

DAVID Moyes and Manchester United. Compare and contrast the role played by Sir Alex Ferguson in Moyes getting the top job at Old Trafford:

David Moyes, May 2013:

“It’s a great honour to be asked to be the next manager of Manchester United. I am delighted that Sir Alex saw fit to recommend me for the job”

Alex Ferguson, October 2014:

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Posted: 22nd, October 2014 | In: manchester united | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


West Brom Fans Mock Manchester United With Tom Daley And Hello Kitty

PA 21238368 West Brom Fans Mock Manchester United With Tom Daley And Hello Kitty

West Bromwich Albion’s Stephane Sessegnon celebrates scoring his sides first goal of the game during the Barclays Premier League match at The Hawthorns, West Bromwich.

 

MANCHESTER Untted drew 2-2 with West Bromwich Albion in the Premier League tonight. United are a shadow of their former selves. But an away draw at The Baggies is not too shabby.

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Posted: 20th, October 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United Balls: A Killer In The Hotel And The Newspaper Offices

THE Sun leads with news of Manchester United and the killer in the hotel.

 

Screen shot 2014 10 14 at 09.43.47 Manchester United Balls: A Killer In The Hotel And The Newspaper Offices

 

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Posted: 14th, October 2014 | In: manchester united, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Want To See Photos Of Manchester United ‘Ace’ Antonio Valencia’s Willy?

Screen shot 2014 10 12 at 07.57.26 Want To See Photos Of Manchester United Ace Antonio Valencias Willy?

 

FOR those of you not turned on by naked selfies of fiftysomething Tory MP Brooks Newmark, the Sun offers the option on Line 2 for naked selfies of “MANCHESTER United ace Antonio Valencia”.

MANCHESTER United ace Antonio Valencia stands topless in one of a series of explicit selfies he sent to two women behind his wife’s back. The 29-year-old international also invited the pair to join him in hotel sex sessions.

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Posted: 12th, October 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0