manchester united Category
Manchester United midfielder Juan Mata has a blog. He wrote on it following United’s 4-2 win over city rivals Manchester City.
His article is entitled ‘Outstanding Atmosphere at the Theatre of Dreams‘:
So much for the start. We’ll fast forward to the bit where Mata talks about Manchester United’s trip to Chelsea.
From this Monday we are already thinking about our next ‘final’, a visit to the leader of the Premiership… going back to Stamford Bridge for the first time will bring me plenty of good memories, for sure. The day I arrived to this great club I wrote: “Gratitude is the memory of the heart”. And I keep thinking the same. At that time I had the chance to thank everybody who helped me in London during those two and a half years, and next Saturday it will be nice to meet former team-mates, fans and friends. I keep good memories of them and I wish them the best…
Call me old-fashioned but I like it when my team’s players don’t declare their love for the opposition. I sympathise with the Newcastle United fan who spotted his side’s goalkeeper Tim Krul wait at half-time to congratulate Sunderland’s Jermain Defoe on scoring what turned out to be the game’s only goal and noted:
“It’s f**ing derby… you don’t laugh with some scum in the tunnel, you either ignore him or kick the sh*t out of him. Nothing else is acceptable.”
A friend is a highly intelligent, sane and respected individual. Whenever a team other than his beloved Manchester United is playing his wishes only destruction on their houses. Unreasonable, inhumane, bigoted and unhinged, of course he is. He’s a fan.
Mata’s cameraderie and admiration for the team that sold him is not what any Manchester United supporter wants to hear. If Mata has to say anything, then wish ill on Chelsea.
Mata’s blog is the verbal equivalent of the player who refuses to celebrate his goal against a former club. The player – let’s call him Cristiano – scores. His teamates celebrate. And he stands, head bowed in respect, alone in the frenzy. It is utterly pathetic.
In the right world, any footballer failing to wildly celebrate a goal – famously described as an act better than sex – should be red-carded and banned for six matches. And that goes for you, too, Juan Mata. If you score against Chelsea, Manchester United fans will not respect your open-palmed apology to the opposition, and I’d wager Chelsea fans won’t either. They want you to slide across the turf and pump your fists like Mike Tyson on speed.
The United fans will love you. The Chelsea fans will regret losing you. You win. Anything else is just sad…
Just how good is Manchester United’s Ander Herrera? Well, the Daily Express’ Ben Jefferson takes time out from his usual diet of Transfer Balls to state that the Spaniard is very good:
The stats that PROVE Man Utd’s Herrera is BETTER than Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal stars
Which stats? Which stars?
The Spaniard’s current form has drawn comparisions with Paul Scholes from the Old Trafford faithful.
Old Manchester United fan 1: “He’s not as good as Scholes?”
New Manchester Untied fan 2: “Whose Scholes?”
The Daily Mirror leads with news that Manchester United are to rid themnslves of £200,000-a-week Robin van Persie.
United will replace RVP with PSG’s Edinson Cavani.
Is that right? can we believe what the Press report?
As Barry Glendenning says:
A handsome, lank-haired South American striker moving to Manchester United from a high profile Ligue 1 club? What could possibly wrong?
It’s all gone wrong for Van Persie. But what did the experts say at the start of the season, when the Dutch striker’s compatriot Louis Van Gaal was heading to the club?
Back in May 2014, the Daily Mail’s Martha Kelner stated:
Louis van Gaal sees Robin van Persie as perfect captain for Manchester United…
The Holland manager has grown close to the striker, who captains his country, and is set to favour him over Wayne Rooney for the skipper’s armband at Old Trafford.
The Daily Mirror agreeed. Van Persie was a shoo-in for the captain’s armband.
And then Van Gaal made Wayne Rooney his captain.
Such are the facts…
Why anyone would do this is bemusing. Why anyone with a public profile would resort to digitally insultated solo sex suggests a deep mental negligibility.PSST! Want to see a video of Manchester United star Marcos Rojo playing with his little ‘Red Devil’? No, us neither. But the Times, 34, alleges Rojo, 25, sent Sarah Watson a recording of himself masturbating along with “explicit messages” and photos.
Why anyone would do this is bemusing. Why anyone with a public profile would resort to digitally insultated solo sex suggests bordom and deep mental negligibility.
To add to the stickiness, at a flat belonging to Rojos’ friend, Waston claims she prefomed a “sex act” on the Argentinean watched by four other players, who might or might not also play for Machester United.
Can it be that Raheem Sterling, the Liverpool tyro, would leave the club to play for Arsenal or Manchester United? The Sun says the deal to Old Trafford is on.
The last player to move between the two clubs was Phil Chisnall, who left Manchester United for Liverpool in 1964.
Sterling has rejected a near £100,000-a-week deal to remain at Liverpool. He and his agent are agitating for an exit. Liverpool want him to stay.
Their mistake was securing him on a £35,000-a-week deal that ends in two years time. They should have offered him more when he signed that deal just after his 18th birthday. They should have seen the improving player and recalculated his worth. Now that Liverpool are ready to negotiate, Sterling has raised his sights.
Sterling thinks Liverpool owe him back pay.
And Liverpool’s rivals are ready to exploit his position.
Sterling, of course, runs the risk of looking like a greedy, ungrateful, disloyal tosser.
Transfer balls: The Sun leads with news that Borussia Dortmund’s Mats Hummels has made a “pledge” to join Manchester United. Hummels is reported to have said that Manchester United is the only non-German team he will play for.
He is quoted:
“If I was to transfer abroad at some stage, then it would only be to Manchester United.”
Transfer Balls: So, how much is Gareth Bale worth to Manchester United, Manchester City and all the usual suspects lining up to buy the Real Madrid star?
The Daily Express says it’s £90m.
That’s the same Daily Express who said Manchester United would buy Bale for £90m last January. They didn’t:
Manchester United had best strike fast because that price is rising. It was £80m in the Daily Express a few weeks ago:
And the Indy said it was £100m.
Mind you, lsate last year the Mail said the figure for Bale was £120m:
It was getting a bit pricey.
But then an oligarch stepped in to reinflate the fee. The Mirror reported that Cheslea will buy Bale for…£150m:
Does anyone know how much Gareth Bale is worth?
Are Arsenal buying Palermo’s Paulo Dybala? The Telegraph says they could be. The paper also says Chelsea might buy him.
The Express says he will cost Manchester United £28.9m – and they want him, too.
The Daily Star says Arsenal are really keen on Karim Benzema – as they are every year. But they have been “rocked” by news that Paris St Germain also want him. But not to worry because that will mean Arsenal sign PSG’s Edinson Cavani for [insert ridiculous amount of money here].
The Daily Express says Arsenal are in for Paris Saint-Germain’s Marco Verratti and Bayern Munich’s Bastian Schweinsteiger. But, then, it says Real Madrid want both of those player, too. The Express says it knows this because Real Madrid coach Carlo Ancelotti has “specifically requested the duo”. Yeah. He didn’t say “get me whathisface and oojamiflip”. He used their actual names. #flattered.
The Metro, says Arsenal will “snare” Chile international Charles Aranguiz by dangling Alexis Sanchez over a bear pit filled with cash.
Such are the facts…
Having been told by an insider that Radamel Falcao has been “reduced to tears” at Manchester United, the Sun leads with news that his teammate Angel Di Maria is sulking after Louis Van Gaal told him off for playing badly.
One page in and we get to see rheumy-eyed Falcao and read that the misfiring Colmbian will “walk out” on Manchster United unless he gets a “public show of faith” from Louis Van Gaal.
When Manchester United beat Liverpool 2-1, the point scoring had only just begun. The Daily Mirror’s man with an abacus used various esoteric and expert techniques and algorithms to award his scores out of 10 to the game’s players.
The scores for the Liverpool team are worthy of comment. Three Liverpool players – Adam Lallana, Moreno and…Steven Gerrard scored 4 points each. Gerrard scored one point for every 9.5 seconds he was on the pitch. He was, of course, red carded after 38 seconds of playing time. Lallana and Moreno lasted 45 minutes and 66 minutes, respectively.
And that’s not all.
The Mirror praises “Liverpool’s best defender” Martin Skrtel.
He “kept his head while others lost theirs”.
Skrtel has been charged with violent conduct over an alleged stamp on Manchester United goalkeeper David De Gea.
It’s almost as if those points aren’t worth the paper tgey’re written on….
Transfer Balls – a look at drivel presented as football fact by the mainstream media. Today the Press returns to France and Juventus star Paul Pogba. And news is that he’s on his way to Chelsea and Manchester United.
The Times and Telegraph both say Manchester United will splash out £60m on Pogba. Jason Burt says Pogba is the “key” Manchester United target.
Burt adds that some other teams also like Pogba: Chelsea, Paris Saint-Germain, Barcelona and Real Madrid are all “strongly linked with him”.
Juventus director Pavel Nedved was quoted in La Parisien newspaper on Saturday as saying that PSG had submitted a bid – but, in this same report, this was denied by the French club’s director of sport, Olivier Letang.
Clear as mud, then.
Sky Sports says Pogba could remain at Juventus. After all, they are in the quarter-final of the Champions’ League, and Pogba was happy to run his Manchester United contract down and leave the club in 2012. Why go back?
Which leads to Jacon Steinbeg’s news in the Guardian that Pogba will be playing for Manchester City next season. Well, maybe. He understands that such a link is “nonsense”.
And if you want real nonsense, you need to look at the Metro and the Star, which reports:
Chelsea are getting closer to landing Paul Pogba, according to The Metro. They quote Juventus CEO Giuseppe Marotta who has hinted Juventus can do without Pogba.
Marotta said: “We are here celebrating a victory achieved by a team, a team that played without Pogba. This means football is a team sport and not just about individuals.”
So. He did not say anything about Pogba being surpluss to requirements. He said football is a team game.
And what Moratta went on to say – not something quoted by either paper but mentioned in the Standard – is:
“Pogba is a young player with lots of promise but he is realising his potential,” he said after Sunday’s 1-0 victory over Genoa. We want to win and we don’t necessarily have to sell our best players. It is clear that players of this quality attract interest from other clubs but we don’t seek buyers and there has been no contact.”
Such are the facts…
Banned for spitting at Newcastle United’s Papiss Cisse – who then returned fire with interest – Manchester United’s Jonny Evans is talking to the Times. The headline – “If I’d genuinely spat, Mum and Dad would have been disgusted” – gives readers heads-up as to what the kind of nonsense they can expect.
This is no mea culpa. This is me a victim. Banned for six matches for his part in that exchange of bodily fluids, the caption beneath Evans’ face tells readers the spitting is “alleged”.
James Ducker says this is Evans telling his side of the story. But it looks a lot like the Times‘ is cocking an overly sympathetic ear, a feeling compounded by the accompanying photo of Cisse gobbing at Evans but no photo of Evans clearing his throat at Cisse.
Transfer Balls catches the Daily Star’s news that Arsenal and Liverpool are all set to sign Sami Khedira.
Paul Brown says Arsenal and Liverpool will both try to sign the German player when his Real Madrid contract ends on June 30. Offering no proof that they will, Brown then says Chelsea could afford to buy him. Why Chelsea would want Khedira and why Kehdira would want Chelsea are not things that bother the writer. And readers can also imagine what other clubs could afford Khedira.
Maybe Bayern Munich can? After all it was the Daily Star that rold us Khedira was heading to the German champions:
But that would be odd because whilst Brown says Arsenal baulked at Khedira’s wage demands, the, er, Daily Star told us that they didn’t:
But then came Daily Star news that Khedira had gone back on that Arsenal agreement and agreed to join Bayern Munich:
So. He agreed to Arsenal. He agreed to Bayern Munich. Which brings us to the Daily Star’s news that next season Kehedia will be playing for Manchester Untied, Liverprool or Chelsea:
Such are the facts…
How football journalism works: the Dail Mail v the Daily Star Sun. Last night Manchester United lost 2-1 to Arsenal in the FA Cup. Danny Wellbeck, formerly of United, scored the winning goal.
Neil Ashton is dishing out points in the Daily Mail:
Danny Welbeck: Kept his composure to put Arsenal back in front when her took the ball round De Gea with class and conviction. Good on him for that. 8
That’s the game’s highest score.
In the Daily Star, Jeremy Cross saw a different Wellbeck:
Welbeck struggled to make an impact… The first pass he received was badly mis-controlled and the same happened the next one he got…
Maybe Neil Ashton is trolling? As he wrote previously:
Life would be easier if I followed the golden rule – give the highest mark to the player who scored the winner, or set it up – and you won’t get clubbed to death on Twitter.
But so good was Wellbeck that all the Manchester United fans cheered him off. Well, so says Martin Samuel in the Daily Mail:
The locals will not begrudge Welbeck his moment either, or resent his celebration. They did not want him to leave and confirmed that support by applauding him all the way to the bench when he was replaced by Olivier Giroud after 72 minutes
Neil Curtis in the Sun heard other noises:
Even the Arsenal fans gave him some generous applaus after initial boos
David McDonell in the Mirror also used two ears:
Welbeck was treated to a mixture of boos and cheers from United fans…
Such are the facts in the tabloids. And in the more high-brow newspapers, the facts are even more challenged. The Times tells us that 8 is better than 7:
Football used to be just about the scoreline…
Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney teaches dumb foreigners Angel Di Maria and Adnan Januzaj the Great British Dive
Writing on Arsenal’s FA Cup win over Manchester United, Martin Samuel turns to the matter of diving. Two Manchester United players – Angel Di Maria and Adnan Januzaj (who now has more bookings for diving than goals for Manchester United – five yellow cards for diving; four goals scored) were both yellow carded for cheating.
Samuels is unimpressed, telling his Daily Mail readers diving is not the English way:
“Januzaj has been around the English game long enough now to know better.”
Is Samuel seriously suggesting that only foreingers dive? That it’s not the English to truy to con the referee? If he is, he could do worse than look at Manchester United and England cpatain Wayne Rooney, who in the previous FA Cup match won a penalty for this tumble:
The tabloids can hardly contains their excitement that Manchester United’s Jonny Evans denies spitting at Newcastle United’s Papiss Cisse.
Cisse has held his hands up to the offence, apologised and accepted his seven-match ban. But Evans is digging in. The Sun calls his stance “amazing”. Louis Van Gaal, Evans’ manager at Manchester United, has delivered the outstanding defence: “…he was not aware he was spitting.”
As we look for signs of drool from mouth-breather Evans, the tabloids go to work.
The Sun fill up 7 pages in the Evans spit, including its font and back pages:
If you discount the adverts, the Sun’s 68 pages are reduced to around 54 pages. Seven pages deal with Jonny Evans’ drooling – that’s around 13% of the entire paper. And not a single word on Westminster paedos, Iraq, Syria or phone hacking in the Daily Mirror.
To the Sun, ‘Jonny is Evans sent’…
Transfer Balls: a look at the nonsense written about William Carvalho, the Sporting Lisbon midfielder.
Yesterday the Daily Mirror told its readers that Carvalho could be on his way to Liverpool.
That will come as some news for Manchester United fans because according to reports in the Daily Mirror, Carvalho plays for the Red Devils, who he joined for £37m before the last World Cup:
News of Carvalho’s move to Manchester United was confirmed by the Daily Express, although there it was for a lower fee:
And there was the earlier news in the Daily Star that Carvalho was on the point of signing for Arsenal:
As for the player himself, well, the Daily Express had news that he doesn’t want to play for Arsenal, Chelsea or Manchester United.
Such are the facts in the mainstream Press…
In the Premier Lesgue match between Newscastle United and Manchester United, Johnny Evans and Pappis Cisse appeared to exchange bodily fluids. No, the players – one white, the other black – did not get off with each other to further please fans looking for evidence of moral enlightenment at the match. It seems that they spat at each other, and not in any way that can be construed as good for the game.
No-one has moved to claim the spitting was rooted in racism. And in the curent climate where racism is sought in a speck of dust, for that we must be thankful.
The referee missed the spitting.
But the papers didn’t. They wade in, telling their readers how long the Evans and Cisse could be banned for:
The Guardian says one-match, maybe:
The BBC looks to recent history: “Last season, George Boyd was given a three-match ban for spitting at Manchester City goalkeeper Joe Hart”.
The Daily Telegraph says: “Jonny Evans and Papiss Cisse [are] facing six-match ban after spitting row in Newcastle v Manchester United clash.”
The Daily Mirror wants more: “Papiss Cisse apologises for Jonny Evans spitting storm as he faces SEVEN game ban.”
lan McInally: “If you get tackled and somebody injures you, I think you take it. If somebody spits on you, as a footballer player, that’s not happening … maybe six games isn’t enough. If you give them 10 games, they take the wrath of their football club.”
The Times: “Jonny Evans is not that kind of guy,” Paul Scholes, a former team-mate of the Ulsterman, said. “What Papiss Cissé did afterwards is unforgivable.”
Unforgivable. A life ban it is, then.
(Cisse has accepted a seven-match ban. Evans is holding out.)
Is any of it a big deal? Maybe spitting is as much a part of the game as the leg-breaking tackle, verbals, biting or the headbutt? Maybe one day they’ll just make a statue or fountain to spitting, like this tribute to Zinedine Zidane, whose World Cup final red-card earning butt was immortalised in bronze:
Football Balls loves those space-filling lists. The Daily Mail delivers news on Manchester United. Mike Keegan lists “10 things Louis van Gaal must fix before next season”.
Here, Sportsmail looks at what Van Gaal needs to do to ensure it is mission accomplished at Old Trafford.
Mission accomplished at Old Trafford is not like George Bush’s famous ‘Mission Accomplished’ in Iraq, where a swift defeat of the less well-armed enemy is followed by grandiose statements, trebles all round and chaos. Manchester United need to win the Premier League and then conquer Europe to accomplish any mission. Anything less for such a rich, free-spending club is failure.
Sky News has been discussing racism. And that always means racism in football, the obvious stuff when white, working class people in man-made fibres are filmed ranting and raving about a soft target.
Eamonn Holmes, the Sky News anchor, was chairing the debate, which quickly turned to Chelsea fans (club owner: Jewish Russian; supstar striker: black African), a few of whom had been filmed behaving badly on the Paris Metro.
Holmes, a Manchester United fan, puffed up, sat up straight and told viewers that things were rosy at Old Trafford, because sat close to the manager’s dug-out are a few obvious ethnic fans. Said Holmes:
“The group of guys in turbans at Manchester United sends out a lovely message.”
Football balls: whan a player is injured the media goes into overdrive. They love it. Manchester United’s Robin Van Persie has poorly ankle. But how long will be out for?
BBC: Van Persie is out for up to two weeks.
The Express says it’s at least two weeks:
The Mail says RVP is out for 3 weeks:
The Mirror says RVP is out for “at least a month“:
The Sun says he’s out for “four games” , which is five weeks.
It’s as if the media take the most basic fact and spin it until the actual news is lost in the fog of sensation…
Transfer Balls: Liverpool and Chelsea’s Kevin De Bruyne wants to play for Arsenal and Manchester United
Transfer Balls catches news of Wolfsburg winger Kevin De Bruyne, 23. The BBC notes that the former Chelsea player “says he would be open to a Premier League return”.
One game we play is to see if the media can link a player with all five of the big clubs: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City and Manchester United.
The BBC says “with Manchester United mulling over a £30m bid for the former Chelsea player”.
The BBC delivers this as fact. Only at the end does it say the source for the scoop is the Daily Express.
Over there, the paper reports:
How badly does Kevin De Bruyne want to play for Manchester United? He’s quoted:
“I feel very much at home with VfL Wolfsburg in this very moment. I am able to sign a new contract with Wolfsburg. Life in football can be fast moving. Football is much about money. Wolfsburg is not yet like Bayern Munich, of course. And my biggest ambition is to come out for a big European club. One I can win trophies with. As much trophies as possible.”
The Daily Star then spins the balls to take in Chelsea and Arsenal.
Oh. And Manchester City:
And over in the Sun, the news is that De Bruyne is a…Liverpool fan.
It’s a Full House of Balls.
Such are the facts.
Transfer Balls: the Daily Express has news on Arsenal, Chelsea and Sami Khedira.
Arsenal and Chelsea have been joined by Schalke in the race to sign Real Madrid midfielder Sami Khedira.
So. Khedira, curently at Real Madrid, is off to either Arsenal, Chelsea or Schalke.
It’s just that the Daily Express told us that Khedira was off to Manchester United:
And there was Bayen Munich, who wanted the player:
And signed the player:
But let’s see what Bild, source of the Express’ latest scoop, has to say:
Two weeks ago, in turn, the Spanish radio station Cadena Ser had reported that Khedira has already agreed to a Bundesliga. Perhaps it involves the FC Schalke …
Such are the facts…
Transfer balls: where rumour meets utter nonsense. The Independent is reporting that Manchester United are to sign Bayern Munich’s Robert Lewandowski. The fee: £30m.
The Express says it Lewandowski for Manchester United. The paper says “Louis van Gaal will undoubtedly be in the market for a world class striker to partner Robin van Persie and Wayne Rooney”.
That’s odd because the London Evening Standard has told us that Van Peris will leave Old Trafford in the summer:
Lewandowski shows no signs of leaving Bayern. But he has, of course, already signed for Arsenal, Manchester Unirtd, Chelsea, Liverpool etc. As we read in the Daily Star:
Of course that was utter balls. Because one years earlier he joined Manchester United for £12m:
Such are the facts…
Transfer Balls: a look at utter drivel presented as football news in the mainstream media. Today the Express says Liverpool are set to sign Raheem Sterling on a new contract, Arsenal are still going to bid for Paul Pogba, Incardi is off to Chelsea and there is some stuff about Manchester United.
David Wright reports:
Raheem Sterling admits he’s close to putting pen to paper on a new deal at Liverpool, worth a reported £100,000-a-week.
The Express links to the Mail, which reports:
The England star, who is being monitored by Real Madrid, Bayern Munich and Paris Saint-Germain, is yet to commit his future to the Reds despite months of talks between the club and his representatives.
Over in the Liverpool Echo, Sterling is quoted:
“We’re working on it and hopefully it will be sorted soon.”
So. No news, then.
As for Paul Pogba to Arsenal, we’re told:
Arsenal are expected to step up their interest in Juventus midfielder Paul Pogba, who is valued at around £80m by the Serie A giants.
Expected by whom? Wright fails to say.
And Incardi? Well, that sgtpory is sourced in the Metro, which notes:
Chelsea are still in pole position to sign Mauro Icardi despite the striker holding contract talks with Inter Milan.
And now for that Manchester United news:
Manchester United are in talks with Fiorentina over a deal for former Manchester City flop Stefan Savic.
That story is soruced in the Daily Star, which reports:
Sport claims United were close to sealing a deal in January before Savic penned fresh terms with La Viola.
So, er, not close at all, then.
More no news in the Daily Express every day…