Sports Category
Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
Dickie Bird Caption Challenge: Barnsley’s Raised Finger Raised
FORMER cricket umpire Dickie Bird was displeased that persons unknown were hanging things from his famously raised finger – bras, knicker, pizzas etc. In response Barnsley council has raised the bronze sculpture erected in honour of the Yorkshireman who umpired 66 Test matches.
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Posted: 3rd, November 2013 | In: Caption Competition, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Robert Lewandowski Snubs Manchester United And Heads To Chelsea And Bayern Munich
TRANSFER BALLS: The Daily Mail reports that Chelsea are looking to buy Robert Lewandowski, the player of whom it wrote:
The jokes are over! Szczesny calls out Polish team-mate Lewandowski as Bayern-bound striker prepares to face in-form Gunners – October 21, 2013
EXCLUSIVE: Lewandowski to net £10m when he joins Bayern in the summer – October 18, 2013
I’m joining Bayern for FREE, reveals Dortmund hitman Lewandowski as rivals secure bargain deal – September 23, 2013
Lewandowski: I said no to Jose, Sir Alex and Real Madrid… here’s why I chose to stay in the Bundesliga – 24, August, 2013
Man United and Chelsea miss out on striker Lewandowski as Pole agrees to join Bayern – July 7, 2013
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James Keene: The Only Englishman Playing Champions League and Europa League Football Overseas
HOW many English footballers representing non-British clubs have played in the group stages of this season’s Champions League and Europa League? In all, 37 English players have played a part in those matches.
To give you a few clues: 106 Brazilians have played in the two tournaments this season; 52 Spanish players have played for non-Spanish clubs; and 45 French players for non-French clubs. So. How many English players made the move to experience life and football overseas? And, no, Scotland is not abroad, so Celtic’s Fraser Forster doesn’t count. Same with Swansea City, which means its contingent of four English players is barred.
The answer is…one.
He’s James Keene, a 27-year-old with Sweden’s Elfsborg.
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Local Views: Liverpool Create No Chances As Arsenal Celebrate Easy Win
AFTER Arsenal beat Liverpool 2-0 in the Premier League it’s interesting to see what the clubs’ local newspaper say of the game:
Islington Gazette (Arsenal)
Santi Cazorla fired the Gunners ahead somewhat against the run of play on 19 minutes, lashing the ball home after his bullet header had come back off the post.
Wales midfielder Aaron Ramsey then made sure of all three points on the hour when he cracked in a sublime 25-yard half-volley…
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Posted: 3rd, November 2013 | In: Arsenal, Liverpool, Sports | Comment
Arsenal: Ozil Spotted Looking Youthful In Argentina
GONZALO Galvan, 13, looks like Arsenal and Germany’s Mesut Ozil. Gonzo plays for Villa Santillan in Argentina. He is ‘The Mesut Ozil of Tucuman’.
Of course, who he really look like is Spencer Slavin, who Anorak used to knock about with when we were young lads. But that’s the thing with lookalikes – it’s usually only the famous people strangers ever tell you you look like. And, then, it is rarely if ever flattering.
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The World’s Worst Likenesses Of Celebrities And Persons Of Note
WE name the mystery men.
The campaign to put Jane Austen on English banknotes appears to have achieved a somewhat hollow victory, if responses to the proposed portrait are anything to go by.
Austen biographer Dr Paula Byrne describes the proposed picture as resembling a doll, and making Jane appear “dim-witted”. She even goes so far as to compere it to “a Katie Price makeover”.
However, Elizabeth Proudman of the Jane Austen Society begs to differ. While conceding that the eyes are too big, and the face is ‘prettified’ she appears happy with the overall appearance – including the bonnet, which she says Austen always wore.
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Posted: 2nd, November 2013 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Arsenal: Liverpool’s Rodgers Uses Bendtner To Stick Book In Over Suarez Bid
QUOTE of the day is supplied by Liverpool manger Brendan Rodgers. In readiness for Liverpool’s match at Arsenal – the first meeting between the two since The Gunners’ failed bid for want-away striker Luis Suarez – Rodgers says:
“It may become difficult if you lose that one striker [Giroud]. I’d think Arsène Wenger will look to get a striker in [in January] and will be hoping and praying that he doesn’t get any injuries. And he’s obviously got Nicklas Bendtner.”
Posted: 2nd, November 2013 | In: Arsenal, Liverpool, Sports | Comment
Manchester City: Dropping Joe Hart Will Shatter His Confidence And Be The Making Of Him, Say Experts
MANCHESTER City’s Joe Hart looks set to be dropped by his club. Others players gets dropped all the time when form dips, but for goalkeepers it is, apparently, a bigger deal than for any other member of the team. So. What do the experts make of it?
Daily Express: “JOE HART’S confidence could be shot to pieces with dire consequences for England if he is axed by Manchester City. That was the warning from Tottenham’s Brad Friedel”
Daily Mirror: “‘Friedel: Dropping Joe could bring out best in him'”
What Friedl actually said:
“All goalkeepers go through ups and down, and goalkeeping is very much a confidence position. Joe has never struck me as a person who lacks in the confidence department… Being dropped can have a positive effect, but that depends how you take being dropped. If you sulk and stop doing your work, it’s going to have an adverse effect If you knuckle down and work even harder and take your chance when you get in again, it can have a positive effect. You just never know with these things. That’s why it’s not as easy as ‘right, we’re going to drop Joe Hart’ because you don’t want to lose the best Joe Hart because the best Joe Hart is England’s No.1.”
All depends what spin you put on the balls.
Manchester United: Beckham Junior Range Hits Old Trafford, QPR And Chelsea
IN May 2013, Brooklyn Beckham signed forms to play with QPR. He’d had trials with Chelsea. But Brooklyn never did make it at Stamford Bridge, which is great shame for tabloid pun writers. Now, the Sun leads with news that the 14-year-old is practicing football with Manchester United. Previously, Brooklyn has played for the under-14s at LA Galaxy and trained with PSG. He’s also dating a Posh teenager.
If he can get a tattoo, a PA and remember to change his knickers every day, Brooklyn will have chalked off most of his dad’s life accomplishment’s by the time he’s 16.
Now, back to work the rest of you….
Posted: 1st, November 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
CSKA Moscow Guilty Of Racist Chants Against Manchester City’s Yaya Youre… What Next FIFA?
UEFA has imposed a partial stadium closure over at CSKA Moscow after fans were found to have indulged in racist chants when playing Manchester City at the Arena Khimki.
When CSKA play their next home game against Bayern Munich, some of the stadium will be closed. Not surprising that the club was found guilty, given that even a state-owned news agency (and they have to tow the line with authorities) admitted that racist chanting was a common problem at Russian league games.
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Is Former Spurs Star Gareth Bale A Cheating Foreigner In Spain (Like Liverpool’s Luis Suarez Is In England)?
IS former Spurs Star Gareth Bale recapturing the form that made him a great in England? Yes. And no. He’s yet to score a stunning goal. But he is slipping around a little. Which makes us wonder: is the noble Briton now a cheating foreigner, like Liverpool’s Luis Suarez has been portrayed in England?
This is a snapshot of Bale reliving the glory days at White Hart Lane in Real Madrid’s match against Seville last night:
Spotter: Pies
Posted: 31st, October 2013 | In: Sports, Spurs | Comments (3)
Arsenal And Liverpool Players Top List Of 7 Awful Premier League Haircuts
FOOTBALLERS, bless ’em, haven’t worked out the ideal formula involving brains, fashion and money. Everyone remembers Liverpool’s white FA Cup suits and eyebrows were raised when Davey Beckham wore a sarong… and not as many remember John Barnes’ ‘bird shit jacket’ he wore as a presenter on Channel 5.
However, the worst decisions footballers make tend to involve their hair. And in the Premier League, we’ve been blessed with some players who make mystifying decisions.
Here, we look at some of the ones you may have forgotten.
Cesc Fabregas
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Manchester United: Wilfried Zaha Learns What He Knew Two Years Ago
MANCHESTER United’s 4-0 win over Norwich in the League Cup featured an appearance from Wilfried Zaha, the played signed for £15 from Crystal Palace. United’s coach Steve Round told media after the match:
“He’s gone out there and experienced what it’s like to win at Old Trafford”
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Posted: 30th, October 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Footballers Forever Associated With Certain Items Of Food
FOOTBALLERS Forever Associated With Certain Items Of Food
“Mark Bosnich was a terrible professional,” claims Sir Alex Ferguson in his autobiography, which was launched in a small room above a Salford pub last week, to mass indifference.
“We played down at Wimbledon and Bosnich was tucking into everything: sandwiches, soups, steaks. He was going through the menu. I told him, ‘For Christ’s sake, Mark, we’ve got the weight off you. Why are you tucking into all that stuff?’ We arrived back in Manchester, and Mark was on mobile phone to a Chinese restaurant to order a takeaway.”
And with these words, Mark ‘Sniffer’ Bosnich achieves membership of the exclusive Footballers Forever Associated With Certain Items Of Food Club.
There could even have been another, had Fergie revealed the identity of the culprit to blame for ‘Pizzagate’, when a row between himself and Arsene Wenger in 2004 culminated in carb carnage. “The next thing I knew, I had pizza all over me,” recalls the red-faced recently-retired ruler of Old Trafford. He says he did not see who threw it, but that Cesc Fabregas has been suggested to him. And that’s good enough for us, so Cesc is hereby inducted, along with his missile of choice.
Arsene Wenger remained typically inscrutable this week: “I don’t know about food throwing. I did not see if something was thrown – you’ll have to ask someone else, because I don’t know.”
When Cesc arrives, he will find another Arsenal old boy awaiting him…
Chips
In 1986, ‘Champagne’ Charlie was arrested outside the Confusion Bar in Ibiza, for an unusual twist on the usual footballers’ fracas. Scottish holidaymaker Lori McElroy alleged that Nicholas stole a chip from her, and then broke her jaw in the ensuing argument. Nicholas was found guilty but continued to deny any wrongdoing.
Chips would haunt Charlie years later, when working as a pundit for Sky. Anchorman Jim White, presumably assuming his mic was switched off, referred to the Celtic fans’ chorus of The Fields of Athenrye with a reference to the Irish potato famine.
“Oh here we go again, the tottie famine,” said Jim.
“Aye, and they’re all eating chips while singing this,” replied Nicholas, to the displeasure of the Bhoys’ worldwide army of millions.
Roast dinner with all the trimmings
Terry Venables remembers breaking into the Chelsea team as a youngster and playing alongside the legendary Jimmy Greaves. Greavsie was only three years older than Terry, yet he was already a superstar, and would soon move to AC Milan. He lived near Venables, and would give him a lift to matches. The first time this happened, Jim explained that he usually stopped for lunch at a café, so they went in and Venables – already at the vanguard of modern practices – ordered steamed chicken. He was shocked to see Greaves polish off a massive plate of roast beef with Yorkshire pudding, veg, and roast AND mashed potatoes. This he followed up with a large bowl of stodge and custard. “I always have this,” he said. Venables says Greaves proceeded to score a hatful of goals that afternoon. But then, he usually did.
Speaking of dinners, an honoury mention must also go to erstwhile Orient manager John ‘bring yer fu*king dinner’ Sitton, for his legendary televised half-time rant…
Lasagna
Tottenham Hotspurs’ Michael Carrick and Jermain Defoe walk off dejected at the final whistle
Martin Jol’s Tottenham side of 2005-06 will be remembered for their valiant but ultimately unsuccessful assault on the final Champions League spot. To make it worse, it was arch-rivals West Ham who ruined their party by beating them 2-1 on the final day. And to put the tin lid on it, it was Arsenal who pipped them to fourth.
The defeat was blamed squarely upon a lasagna which had been served to the players at the London Marriott in West India Quay, where the players aere staying before the game. Ten players went down with a mystery illness, assumed to be food poisoning, although the hotel was cleared of any wrongdoing.
Pies
David Beckham, as reported here recently, is a lifelong pie and mash fan, and even went to the lengths of taking the Spurs players and backroom staff to lunch at a local emporium during his brief stint training at the north London club.
But when it comes to meat-filled be-crusted comestibles, one man is synonymous: chunky Mick Quinn, whose candid autobiography is rhetorically entitled Who Ate All The Pies?
The scouse goal-machine once picked up a pie that was thrown at him from the crowd and ate it, to the amusement of all. He has been known to repeat the story from time to time in the course of his broadcasting duties.
Mars Bars
Paul Gascoigne’s love of the ‘iconic’ chocolate brick was well known, and when he turned out for Spurs against his former club Newcastle United the Toon fans bombarded him with said confectionary. Whereupon Gazza ‘did a Quinny’ and chomped enthusiastically.
Testicles
Mention ‘testicles and football’ and the connection is obvious: Wimbledon FC – although this is nothing to do with Gazza’s bollocks…
…and everything to do with the defunct club’s owner Sam Hammam, who introduced the novel forfeit of eating sheep’s gonads as part of the ‘Crazy Gang’ disciplinary code.
Crisps
No contest…
Sandwiches
It would be easy to just post a picture of Roy Keane, who indirectly coined the phrase “prawn sandwich brigade” during a mini-rant about Manchester United’s gentrified supporters.
Yet Keano’s comments are trumped by events at Grimsby, where Town’s Ivano Bonetti was supposedly injured when manager Brian Laws threw chicken wings at him. The sandwich-based truth is slightly different.
Laws says that Bonetti hurled sandwiches – and a punch – at him, and that he merely retaliated in kind: “I’ve no idea where the chicken leg or wing part of the story came from! It almost put a bit of humour to it, but we felt it was best to leave things be and put things right later on. That incident gets brought up quite a lot and people laugh at it now – and I do as well – but at the time it wasn’t very funny or nice to be involved in. It was an incident which unfortunately spilled out into the press and all hell broke loose at the time.”
McDonald’s
The restaurant of choice for footballers seeking a pre-brawl snack, as patronised by Lee Bowyer (pictured here fighting with team-mate Kieran Dyer). Bowyer was convicted of affray at the Isle of Dogs branch…
And Joey Barton, back home in Liverpool…
Oranges
Charlton Athletic keeper Charlie Wright is fondly remembered for his tendency to wander behind his goal and chat with supporters. Legend has it that once, while accepting an orange from a fan, the opponents scored.
Salad cream
Step up, Dave Beasant. If you can, that is.
Beasant missed two months of the 1993-94 season after knocking over a jar of salad cream which fell onto his foot, causing serious injury. Some say it was mayonnaise, but unfashionable salad cream took the rap.
Bananas
Eternal spring chicken Gordon Strachan (pictured here with the world’s largest banana split) famously lives on a diet of the curvy peely fruit. “Gordon couldn’t spell banana when he was 20,” says former team-mate Alex McLeish “He ate pork pies then. But we had a teetotal right-back called Stuart Kennedy who brought in books about the diets of Ivan Lendl and Martina Navratilova. That’s when we started good eating habits.”
Unfortunately, the enduring image of footballers and bananas is less savoury. John Barnes was famously snapped back-heeling a banana thrown at him by the Goodison faithful in 1988.
“I don’t remember doing that,” he said later. “I mean the picture is there but bananas back then were common. The reason it all came to the fore is because I was playing for a high-profile club like Liverpool. For six years before, that happened every week, but because it was a small club it wasn’t highlighted. In terms of me being angry and wanting to fight people in the stands though, it never happened, I consider those people to be ignorant, so how could they affect any part of life or any part of my demeanour.”
Posted: 30th, October 2013 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Sports | Comments (2)
Arsenal: Frimpong Wonders Why ‘Racist’ Gunners Never Pick A Black Goalkeeper
ARSENAL tyro Emmanuel Frimpong might not be all that bright. Not in the Gunners’ squad to play Chelsea in tonight’s Capital One Cup, Frimpong, 21, was asked on Twitter why he thought he hadn’t made the cut. He replied:
”LOL I wanna laugh. Sometimes I wish I was white and English #realtalk”.
Hey, doesn’t everyone want to be one of God’s own people (see Ukip handbook)?
But the Sun spots not a wally making a foolish comment but the “sparks” of a “race row” and “an amazing race storm”.
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Bad British Basketball Commentary on Basketball Mean Time (Video)
ANORAK’s pal Anthony Richardson has been working as a basketball reporter on NBA basketball games:
Manchester United Turn Nazi: Adnan Januzaj Leads The New Order
LAST week Manchester United fans were sent this message. There was the rise of a “New Order”.
Adnan Januzaj is at the vanguard of the Neuordnung. That’s him wearing a sharp-looking Swastika-styled crown below.
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Posted: 28th, October 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Mutual Consent Watch: Managers Leaving Clubs By ‘Mutual Consent’ Season 2013-14
FOOTBALL managers often leave the club by “mutual consent”. What does that mean? Does the manager agree that it’s not working out and leave?
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West Ham United: Sam Allardyce Laughs At Swansea
ANORAK is warming to West Ham United’s manager Sam Allardyce. In this clip, ‘Big’ Sam (TM) laughs in Chico Flores’ face following the Swansea defender’s tumble during a 0-0 draw between the two sides at the Liberty Stadium.
Don’t sanction them. Don’t fine them. Just laugh at them. The FA should hire Sam to laugh at all divers, cheats, too-busy-to-talk-to-fans-big-headphones-wearers, racists and all other nasties who inhabit the vain, shallow world of Premier League football.
Spotter: Pies
Burnley FC Mascot Bertie Bee ‘Jailed’ For Offering Referee Glasses At QPR Match
FREE Bertie Bee! Free the Burnley
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Back Pages Balls: Manchester United Offer £15m For Baines And Chelsea Get Rooney For £35
SUNDAY’S Back Pages:
Manchester United beat Stock City 3-2. That’s bigger news that Liverpool going second and Arsenal staying top.
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Manchester United: Robbie Savage Stands Up For Good Neighbours
ROBBIE Savage has something to say about Sir Alex Ferguson’s book. At noon today, the media had said 100o times as many words on the book as there are in the thing. But until now, Savage had been silent. But with a deadline looming and a page to fill in the Daily Mirror, Savage gives full throat to his book report:
“It’s bang out of order and didn’t need to be written”
Godfather of a Manchester United dynasty or not, some of Sir Alex Ferguson’s revelations in his new book are bang out of order.
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