Anorak

Sports

Sports Category

Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.

Champions’ League Photos: Spurs Thrash Inter Milan 3-1

IN the Champions League Spurs beat Inter Milan – the Cup holders – 3-1. We took photos. Spurs fans believed. Harry Redknapp managed to string a sentence together – sort of – for the post-match interview on the telly. And you fans get to relive the glamour…

9714729

Image 1 of 8

Tottenham Hotspur's Rafael Van der Vaart (right) scores the first goal past Inter Milan goalkeeper Luca Castellazzi (left)

Posted: 2nd, November 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Harry Redknapp Escapes Ban: Cliches And Twitch Back On Screens Soon

HARRY Redknapp said he would refuse to share his flimsy grasp of the English language with TV viewers if the FA took him to task for comments he made following Tottenham’s customary defeat at Manchester United.

Invaluable insights we would miss were thought to include: “We deserved to win”; They deserved to lose”; “Fuck off”…

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 2nd, November 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


San Franciso 49ers Denver Broncos In Photos: Wembley Stadium Wonders

THE San Francisco 49ers beat the Denver Broncos 24 – 16 at Wembley Stadium, London. The San Francisco’s Gold Rush cheerleaders danced. Guitarist Jeff Beck played the UK national anthem. Former Destiny’s Child member Michelle Williams sings the US national anthem. My Chemical Romance entertained the crowd before kick off. And apart from that Anorak has no bloody idea what happened.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 31st, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Premier League Photos: Chelsea, Arsenal, Wolves, Everton And Fulham

THE PREMIER League took off this weekend. We’ve got photos from Chelsea’s winner at Blackburn, Arsenal’s late strike against West Ham, Fulham’s defeat of Wigan, Everton’s victory over Stoke, and Wolves kicking sand in Manchester City’s faces. Sometimes footballers think they can fly…

More football at Pies

Posted: 30th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


The Dirtiest Wayne Rooney Video Ever: Manchester United Fans’ Comedy Minute

WHEN Wayne Rooney was haggling for more cash, a video was made in which Manchester United were asked what they thought of their wantaway star. The video is brilliant.

As for Wayne… Well, he’s got a little kiddie now. He needs 50% more cash to feed and clothe him. When Coleen Rooney gets pregnant once more, Wayne will need the same amount again. By the time he’s reached five children, Our Wayne he will own Manchester United and his own image rights.

Posted: 25th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Manchester City V Arsenal: Photos Live Blog

MANCHESTER City took on Arsenal in the Premier League with a palpable need to recover from failing to sign Wayne Rooney. And they did fail. That City fan who sported a Rooney at City top is now the third most premature fan in that blue quarter of Manchester. There’ Kirk Bradley who got a tattoo declaring City 2011 Champions’ League winners. And there’s Christopher Atkinson who got Kaka’s name inked on his skin. to the amtch> We’ve live blogged in photos:

All football life on Pies

9666248

Image 1 of 11

Manchester City's goalkeeper Joe Hart saves ahead of Arsenal's Francesc Fabregas

Posted: 24th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment (1)


Wayne Rooney Discovers Manchester United Fans By His Land

WAYNE Rooney wants to move away from Manchester United and the fans are unhappy. The Sun leads with news that a “MOB” has “STORMED” Rooney’s home.

That’s stormed as in stood about outside the big gates at Chez Way and milled about with hoods pulled up over their heads and hands stuffed in pockets.

The Sun calls the Anoraks a group of “balaclava-clad Man United fans”.

Anoraks. Balaclavas. All sensible attire for any young man out and about in a chilly night. Anorak wagers that beneath the zipped up-to-the-neck tops, the men sport woggles and badges commending their work with the Cub Scout movement.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 22nd, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Was Football Team Drugged By Rival’s Poisoned Water?

WERE Hijos de Acosvinchos’ players drugged before their game with promotion rivals Sport Ancash in the Peruvian league?

Having supped from water bottle made available by Ancash staff, Hijos defender Andy Salinas collapsed. The water bottle had been passed around. Juan Luna, Martin Reategui and Luis Coello also all collapsed.

Tests revealed that all players affected had traces of benzodiazepine – a sleeping drug – in their blood.

Sport Ancash went on to win 3-0 and secured promotion to Peru´s first division.

All affected players had traces of benzodiazepine, a class of drug used to treat insomia, in their blood.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 21st, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment


Wayne Rooney’s Chorizo Is Safe In The Madrid Madrugada: Photos

WAYNE Rooney trains ahead of Manchester United v Bursaspor at the club’s Carrington Training Ground. Is Rooney on his way to Spain – to wear out his chorizo on the local tapas and tartas? (Only a joke – Wayne has sworn of ladies of the night and, in any case, daytime is the new night-time in Madrid where the madrugada rocks…)

Here are photos of  Rooney looking gutted about news of what will surely be multi-million pound offers for his services…

9642733

Image 1 of 10

Manchester United's Wayne Rooney (right) during the training session at Carrington Training Ground, Manchester.

Posted: 19th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Wayne Rooney: Excited Spanish Prostitutes, Rio Ferdinand And What Coleen Wants

WAYNE Rooney wants to leave Manchester United and new is that he’s off to Chelsea or Manchester City – which still pass for English clubs – or Real Madrid and Barcelona.

While prostitutes in London and Spain up their rates and set up Facebook accounts (not that Wayne would ever use them), the papers tell us:

Rooney’s not going abroad because Coleen wants a baby in England (Star). That means he might play for Chelsea – the London club captained by family man John Terry.

Rooney’s not spoken to Alex Ferguson for a month (something you’d imagine anyone might enjoy) (Sun).

Rooney’s off to play for Man City for £100m (Mirror)

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 19th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


London Olympics Kills Glastonbury: We Have No Portaloos

THE London Olympics 2010 has killed off Glastonbury. Anorak had been looking forward to both events working in harmony to form a Well Modern Pentathlon.

Finally, we’d get a decent approach to drugs in athletics. All athletes would be invited to get as off their heads as possible before being invited to erect a one-man tent in the rain; eat ten small donuts without a drink; stare at the grass for 45 minutes without blinking; endure the din of braying thirtysomethings before you use a tent peg as a weapon; and seeing how may turds you can fit in a portaloo.

And the portaloo is the thing. Glastonbury headmaster Michael Eavis says an acute shortage of portable toilets means the show is cancelled.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 18th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Best London Olympics 2010 Tickets Already Taken By Corporate Kids

LONDON Olympics 2012: It will cost you £725 to watch the men’s 100m final from decent seat. And those are the seats not occupied by well-padded corporate and political bottoms.

There are 8.8 million tickets on sale form March 2010. But only 75% will be sold to the public. Good news, then, that at least 25% of the seats will be taken up. No swathes of empty seats like in Delhi’s Commonwealth Games.

But those already taken seats are mostly the good ones.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 15th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Michael Vaughan Twitters That There Are No English In London

ENGLAND’S former cricket captain Michael Vaughan goes to Twitter an says London is full of foreigners.

“Not many English people live in London.. I need to learn a new language…”

Vaughan describes himself as a “Manchester born Sheffield lad“.

Soho house hotel is a lovely spot…still struggling with languages though…jemima makes more sense than most down here..

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 15th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (2)


Mugged Liverpool Fans At High Court Protest At Sale Of Club

A GROUP of Liverpool FC fans supporters massed outside the High Court in central London to be seen. They wanted news of the sale of the Premier League club.

But they will have to wait while the current American owners and RBS banks argue in court  about who gets the money should the club to sold to more American owners. English football used to be fun and competitive – now it’s all about greed, money and the biggest wallet wins.

And that is fine for most fans so long as your club’s owners have the most cash…

Spotter: Pies

Posted: 12th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Chile Miners Trapped In Barcelona, Real Madrid And Manchester United PR War

THE 33 miners trapped underground in Chile are the subject of a tug-o-war between Real Madrid, Manchester United and Barcelona football clubs.

Barcelona striker David Villa has donated two signed shirts to the 33 workers.

Real Madrid has sent signed tops to the 33 miners with the message “be strong miners” on the back.

And now Bobby Charlton, stalwart of Manchester United’s PR machine, has invited the miners to come and watch his team play.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 11th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment (1)


Rupesh Shingadia Is Tiger Woods’ Cigar Dude (Photos)

CIGAR dude, the relaxed man in the anorak, moustache and turban seen watching Ryder Cup loser Tiger Woods smack a ball into a photographer’s lens is Rupesh Shingadia. The moustache is not his. The turban is not his, either. The turban is not even a turban –  it’s fake hair.

Cigar Dude is a a 30-year-old Arsenal fan and investment analyst in the City (he works for Threadneedle Asset Management) who donned the costume as a tribute to Spanish golfer Miguel Angel Jimenez.

Cigar dude is fake. Dreams are crushed…

Tiger Woods’ Women (alleged)

tiger-woods-cigar-dude-17

Image 1 of 26

Posted: 9th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


BBC Presenters Watch The Commonwealth Games On TV But Go To South Africa For World Cup

HOW many BBC presenters and experts does it take to cover the Commonwealth Games in Delhi? And note that loads of them went to the World Cup in South Africa to chatter and natter and analyse, expertly.

Well, for the commonwealth games in Delhi, the nodding heads are all in a studio in Shepherd’s Bush.

Ian Thorpe Clare Balding, Sue Barker, Jake Humphrey, John Inverdale, Hazel Irvine, Michael Johnson, Colin Jackson, Denise Lewis, Steve Cram, Jonathan Edwards, Chris Boardman, Huw Edwards, Adrian Moorhouse, Mark Foster and Gail Emms are all in London watching the big event on the telly.

So. Why is it that for the World Cup the licence fee payer sent Gary Lineker, Alan Hansen, Alan Shearer, Lee Dixon and many, many more to sit in made-up a studio and watch the matches on monitors?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 8th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (2)


Cigar Dude Revealed: Tiger Woods’ Ryder Cup Photobomb Meme In Photos

WHEN Tiger Woods took a shot towards the camera at the 2010 Ryder Cup, Cigar Dude was spotted. The man in the turban and chomping on a cigar became an internet hit. He is now a meme.

Tiger Woods’ Women (alleged)

tiger-woods-cigar-dude-17

Image 1 of 26

Posted: 7th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Peter Osgood’s Chelsea Statue Presents A History Of Football Effigies

A STATUE  of Chelsea legend Peter Osgood was unveiled this week at Stamford Bridge. Some think something more dynamic would have been more suitable.

But it’s dignified and looks good against its understated background, even if it bears more than a passing resemblance to Bobby Moore. Which got me thinking about Bobby Moore’s statues.

Which got me wondering whether they ever get it right. So I had a look at some of England’s other football statues, to see how they shaped up… Read more on Pies

Posted: 6th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Minnesota Timberwolves V LA Lakers Photos: Arsenal Star Knits At Basketball Bore Fest

THE Minnesota Timberwolves, the LA Lakers and, vitally, the Laker Girls, performed at London’s O2 Arena last night before pretty much the entire Arsenal treatment room: Robin van Persie, Thomas Vermaelen and Cesc Fabregas swapped sitting on a soft sofa for sitting on a bench. Did they enjoy the game?

Well, the Mail focuses on the idea that they were leering at the ladies. The lads sat on the front row – “a perfect spot to watch the match – and check out the scantily-clad ladies dancing their socks off before and during the game.” Or as our alternative photos show, the front row a perfect spot to look a bit glum, check text messages and for Van Persie to… Well, what is he up to. Is the sometime Arsenal player unfurling a travel rug or knitting one?

Read PIES – the best football site in zer vorld!

9570970

Image 1 of 10

(left-right) Arsenal's Robin Van Persie, Thomas Vermalen, Francesc Fabregas and Carlos Vela during the NBA Europe Live match at the O2 Arena, London.

Posted: 5th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (2)


Commonwealth Games: England’s National Anthem Jerusalem Plays And England Forgets The Words

COMMONWEALTH Games: They played Jerusalem when Fran Halsall stood on the podium. The 20-year-old winner of the 50m butterfly at the Dr SJ Mukherjee Aquatics Complex is the first person to ever hear the strains of Hubert Parry’s score played at a sporting event.

The tune was chosen because 1,896 entrants in a YouGov survey voted like this:

1. Jerusalem: 52.5%
2. Land of Hope and Glory: 32.5%
3. God Save The Queen: 12%

Duncan Lewis, Marketing Director for Commonwealth Games England, said, “The nation has spoken…

Around 60 million people live in the UK.

The tops–selling single of all time in the UK is Elton John’s Candle In The Wind 1997 / Something About The Way You Look Tonight, which in 1997 alone sold 4.8 million copies.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 5th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Tiger Woods Presents The Greatest Golf Photo Ever: Cigar Dude

TIGER Woods and Team America did not win the Ryder Cup and but one man came out on top: cigar dude. Golf is a game invented by the Women’s Institute Knitting Circle to get men to wear Comfi Slax and jumpers.

But as Tiger fires the white ball into the face of the camera and minds get an insight into what it is to be Devon James, Rachel Uchitel and more, allegedly, cigar man puffs on his Cuban. Don’t get dad golf slippers and balls this Fathers’ Day – get him a turban and a cigar…

Tiger Woods’ Women (alleged)

spotter: Reddit

Posted: 4th, October 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment


Ryder Cup 2010 Photos: Europe Wins Fathers’ Day Decider

RYDER Cup 2010: Europe rejoice! We sure showed those Yankees who to play golf. Anorak has long supposed golf was a ruse dreamt up by marketing types, the kind of people who invested Mothers’ Day, Halloween and the European Union to sell pins and balls and stuff to give dad on his birthday and, naturally, Fathers’ Day. Some shock, then, to discover that the marketers went even further and created an entire sport around the concept of fancy knits and Comfi Slacks. The winners get a cup, one of a set of six…

9569954

Image 1 of 13

Europe's Captain Colin Montgomerie on the 18th after winning the Ryder Cup at Celtic Manor, Newport.

Posted: 4th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment (1)


Commonwealth Games 2010 Photos: Will Swimmers Die When Two Athletes Flush Toilet at Once?

THE 2010 Commonwealth Games photos: News is that the opening ceremony was such a hit in New Delhi that it is also the closing ceremony. The medals have been awarded on the basis of results of spot checks at rooms at the athletes’ village. Well done St Vincent & The Grenadines. Less well done, Scotland. Hard cheese, Cyprus – literally…

Of course, we’re joking. Stay tuned, sports fans, for the closing ceremony and the sight of the swimmers going down the plug hole when two athletes flush the chain at once…

9563671

Image 1 of 9

The Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall attend the opening ceremony of the 2010 Commonwealth Games in New Delhi, India.

Posted: 4th, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Blackpool Beat Liverpool In Photos: Is There Life In The Premier League?

THE Premier League is the most anti-competitive football league in Europe. At the top of the pile are Chelsea and Manchester City – two clubs owned by billionaires who have bought and are buying success. So skewed and corrupt is the whole thing that the very rich clubs can go and buy more experienced top players in January.

But just as you give up hope and despair at the whole cynical made-for-TV sideshow that English football has become, Blackpool go and beat Liverpool 2-1 at Anfield. Of course, this is not the mighty Liverpool of old, but the impoverished Liverpool of now, the club that failed to see the potential of the Premier League and watched as Manchester Untied grasped the nettle.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 3rd, October 2010 | In: Sports | Comment (1)