Anorak

Sports

Sports Category

Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.

Premier League In Photos: Wins For Arsenal, Spurs, Everton, Sunderland, Wigan And Portsmouth

PREMIER League in photos: Arsenal beat West Ham United as the title looms. Can Arsenal win the title? Yes. Game after game the Gunners are fighting. Anorak told you Arsenal were on course for something decent when they showed some mettle against a tetchy Hull City side back in December. The southerners don’t like it up ’em? Not a bit of it. A double whammy to that theory as Spurs got to Stoke City and win. London clubs now make up 3 of the top 5. Also wins for a fighting Everton, reborn Sunderland, nothing-to-lose Portsmouth and Wigan continuing to punch above their weight…

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West Ham United's Alessandro Diamanti (hidden right) has his penalty saved by Arsenal goalkeeper Manuel Almunia (centre)

Posted: 20th, March 2010 | In: Sports | Comment (1)


Tiger Woods’ Women: Rachel Uchitel Sets Lawyers On Jim Beacher, TMZ Reports

TIGER Woods women (alleged) are making the news as porn star Josyln James unburdens her Sim card (NSFW) and now Rachel Uchitel calls in the lawyers.

Uchitel is reported to be upset that Las Vegas showman Jeff Beacher has referred to her as a “slut”, a “whore” and a “hooker” on his Facebook page.

The lawyers say the claims are false and defame Uchitel. But surely if Beacher is the writer, then the publisher, in this case Facebook, must be brought to book, too?

And what do we know about Beacher?

* But mostly what made Beacher such an asset to Hard Rock was his flair for publicity (from Page 6 to TMZ to me) that kept the name of the show and casino buzzing. Beacher had feuds with PETA, the city of Boston and Donald Trump. All generated headlines.

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Posted: 20th, March 2010 | In: Sports | Comment (1)


Tiger Woods Doesn’t Fancy The Inflatable Tiger Woods Sex Doll

INTRODUCING the Tiger Woods love doll. With Tiger Woods no longer on the apres-golf circuit, you can still take the billionaire sportsman home, or to your hotel room or car. Or why not buy the Tuggin’ Tiger Wind-Up a handy device to remind Tiger that when the mood takes him, help can be at hand with some home-made therapy. The full Tiger Woods’ novelty sex range.

Tiger Woods’ Women (alleged)

But them now because reports are that Tiger’s lawyers are not all that chuffed:

* Tiger’s lawyer demands Pipedream stop selling the porno products, recall all items that have already been distributed and then destroy or dispose them “in a manner and at a time as directed by Tiger Woods”.

The giant Tiger condoms await further instruction… These stars weren’t so prickly.

Tiger Woods’ Women (alleged)

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Posted: 19th, March 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Tiger Woods’ Sex Texts Inspire Dubai Couple To Commit Sin

TIGER Woods is heading to Dubai where he will be arrested for sending lewd texts and engaging in extra-marital shags, allegedly. It happened to someone already.

Tiger Woods’ Women in pictures (alleged and NSFW)

A judges ruled that the Indian man and woman’s textual exchange was a plan to “commit sin“. The pair work as cabin crew for Dubai’s Emirates airline and the “sexy texts” were made public in a divorce lawsuit by the woman’s estranged husband.

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Posted: 19th, March 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


In Pictures: Fulham Beat Juventus Because Football Is Sexier Than Golf

FULHAM 4 – Juventus 1. It might only be the Europa League Cup. But there’s magic at Craven Cottage… There’s only one F in Fulham. This is better than golf. Hey,this is better than apres golf. More at Pies.

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General view of the score board showing that Fulham won 4-1.

Posted: 18th, March 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Tabloids Use Steve Rowley’s Leg To Beat Chelsea’s John Terry: Pictures

JOHN Terry runs over Chelsea steward Steve Rowley’s leg. And the papers go wild. As with all football injuries what happened is the stuff of huge debate. Early reports that Rowley’s leg was broken have now been reduced to his suffering a “bad sprain” and “bruising”.

With so many reports, it’s hard to know what the truth. And we are left with the task of sifting through post-match reports. Until all footballers are on Player Cam all of the time we cannot be certain what the truth is.

The Star leads with:

“JOHN TERRY ‘HIT & RUN’ COP QUIZ”

The Mirror delivers:

“IT’S ‘HIT & RUN ‘B-TEST SHAME”

The B-test is breath test, something the Star says is “routine”. Terry had no idea he had hit let alone injured the man. But are the tabloids suggesting something else?

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Posted: 18th, March 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment


John Terry, Toni’s ‘Shock’ And The Steward’s Broken Leg

JOHN Terry was driving a car that has accidentally broke the leg of a Chelsea steward. The Mail tells an interesting tale of what occurred after Chelsea had lost to Inter Milan in the Champions League (photos here).

John Terry’s Wayne Bridge Handshake Frame By Frame

One image of Terry in his car with Toni, the wife, is captioned:

“Moment of impact: Toni covers her face in shock”

A little later, the Mail says:

Terry, 29, was unaware of the incident at the time and drove home without stopping, but he was later contacted by police.

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Posted: 17th, March 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


In Pictures: Mourinho’s Inter Milan Kill Chelsea

JOSE Mourinho came back to Chelsea and won. The self-styled Special One is The Special Won. He hammed it up for the cameras. He pouted and he preened. His coat is no longer from Matalan. It is from Milan. Eto’o scored the winner. The game ended 3-1 to Inter. Didier Drogba was shown a red card. And Chelsea fans got to know what it is like to lose to a man possessed with all the grace of tantruming toddler being made to share his crisps:

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Posted: 16th, March 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


In Pictures: David Beckham In Wootton Bassett For Airing Of Poet Laureate’s ‘Achilles’

THE Poet Laureate has reacted to news of David Beckham’s injury by reminding us that’s she is alive and relevant by way of an ode. Day-vid has ruptured his Achilles, something that has dashed his chance of watching the World Cup from “court side”.

To honour the fallen, a parade will take place in Wootton Bassett on the afternoon of the World Cup Final. Organisers believe it will be especially poignant given that Germany will be playing Italy and all true patriots will have turned the telly off and taken to the streets.

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Posted: 16th, March 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)


Tiger Woods’ ‘Lover’ Jamie Jungers Wins Miss Tiger Woods Pageant: Pictures

TIGER Woods’ women: Swimsuit competition be-damned, as is frequently the case (are you listening Carrie Prejean?) the results of Howard Stern’s “Miss Tiger Woods” pageant came down to the Q&A session, writes Anroak’s Man in LA.

And among the Tiger Woods mistresses competing for the title, Jamie Jungers apparently gave the most detailed description of Tiger’s – shall we say – “magic wand,” thereby taking the crown. Not to mention a giant check in the amount of $75,000.

Jamie Jungers saw off Jamie Grubbs and Loredana Jolie, two other alleged mistresses – RR.

The Tiger Woods Crazy Golf Course is not yet finished.

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Devon James

Posted: 10th, March 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Police Excitement As David Beckham Arrives In Manchester: Pictures

DAVID Beckham puts the beautiful into football. He’s in Manchester to see his old pals for a kick about. The Celebrity Police Force were there to see him at the airport. And they were there to see him at Old Trafford. The Celebrity Police Force would like a signature, sir, but a photo will do…

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David Beckham walks out onto the Old Trafford pitch, Manchester.

Posted: 9th, March 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Wales Rugby Legend JPR Williams Admits To Sucking Three Coppers

JPR Williams, ex Wales and British Lions full back, has admitted to sucking three coppers in an attempt to avoid the breathalizer, writes Yampster in the Forums.

We live in enlightened times.

More

Posted: 8th, March 2010 | In: Sports | Comment (1)


Exclusive Video: John Terry Says Sorry To Wayne

JOHN Terry has finally said “sorry” to Wayne Bridge for allegedly shagging Vanessa Perroncel, mother to Wayne’s son. Happy days for Team England who can now await Wayne’s response and hope that he moves back into the World Cup party.

John Terry’s Wayne Bridge Handshake Frame By Frame

As we have learnt , even since Wayne Bridge ruled himself out of playing with Terry for England, the Man City player has become better and better. Before Terry played Pro Zone with Perroncel, allegedy, Bridge was a no-more-than-decent left back who was vastly inferior to Ashley Cole.

Vanessa Perroncel (John Terry’s Alleged Lover)

As top footy pundit Sue Carroll told Mirror readers:

At least Bridge is man enough to stand by his principles, even if that scuppers his chances of glory. And, sadly, ours.

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Posted: 5th, March 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (3)


‘Laughing’ And ‘Miserable’ Ashley Cole Meets A Shrink

ASHLEY Cole is not yet divorced from Cheryl Cole, but he might be losing something else: his marbles.

The Star leads with the headline: “Ashley: I need a shrink.

Which leads to the story that Chelsea FC have flown a “psychologist” out to meet the footballer.

Ashley Cole’s Women (Alleged)

The story goes like this:

“Moments after being spotted laughing and joking with fellow patients he exploded with rage, yelling: ‘Fucking hell, my life is ruined. Why don’t you all just fuck off. Just leave me alone.”

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Posted: 5th, March 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


England 3 Egypt 1: John Terry Fails To Shag Anyone, In Photos

ENGLAND tonked Egypt 3-1 on the Wembley sand – England are nothing if not gracious hosts eager to make their visitors feel at home. John Terry was booed a little. Someone who’s mum might have shagged the Chelsea captain held up a sign saying “WE FORGIVE YOU”. And Our Man saw it all. We’ve the pick of the pics. And do enjoy these next:

Did Your Mum...?

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England fans hold up a sign aimed at England's John Terry, in the stands prior to kick off

Posted: 4th, March 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Sun Falls Out Of Love With John Terry – Bridge Handshake Pictures And Analysis

john-terry-wedgieBODY language expert Judi James is telling Sun readers that John Terry’s offer of a hand to Wayne Bridge was “one of the meanest, most grudging offers of a handshake I’ve ever seen. His hand was ramrod straight and he did not look at Wayne at all…

John Terry’s Wayne Bridge Handshake Frame By Frame

Or as the Sun put it yesterday:

Chelsea skipper JT… offered his hand to Bridge during the pre-match formalities. But Manchester City defender Bridge refused to look Terry in the eye as he passed off the gesture.

Can you look someone in the eye if their eyes are looking at the ground?

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Posted: 1st, March 2010 | In: Sports | Comment (1)


Photos: Olympic Ice Skaters Do The Frozen Karma Sutra

THE Winter Olympics really put Canada on the map. It’s a huge map with lots of space and people covered in Maple Leaf tattoos and patches screaming, “I am not an American”. And the highlight was, as ever, the figure skating, less a sport than a frozen Karma Sutra for people who pull the support stockings to their chins. These photos will make you feel inadequate. Get out of the bedroom and onto the ice. Showboat a little…

The Frozen Cosack

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Russia's Jana Khokhlova and Sergei Novitski in the Figure Skating Ice Dance, Original Dance at the Pacific Coliseum, Vancouver

Posted: 28th, February 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Chenille Steele Sings The England World Cup Anthem: Video

chenille-steelCHENILLE Steele has recorded the England World Cup anthem. Anorak has the video and the words. Sing a long: Three liars on my chest (allegedly) – Chenille Steele needs a reaming…

Chenille Steele is also England’s mascot.

You’ve seen the pictures – now enjoy the song:

Cheryl Cole And Ashley’s Marriage; Ashley Cole’s Women (Alleged); Vanessa Perroncel (John Terry’s Alleged Lover); Alicia Douvall (NSFW)…

You may think I’m downmarket
Something you’d scrape off your Jimmy Choos
But I’ve been shaggin’ your husband
And it’s in the News of The Screws

I’ve been spit-roasted, in Grosvenor House, by the boys from Chelsea FC
Max Clifford’s on my speed dial in case I have John Terry’s baby…
I’ve kissed and told on Ashley Cole
And I got 20k from The Sun
‘Cos I’m just a glamour girl
Who likes it up the bum

NSFW

Posted: 28th, February 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (3)


Ryan Shawcross Badly Breaks Aaron Ramsey’s Leg And Gets Called Up For England

AARON Ramsey’s career is in the balance. Arsenal’s Welsh footballer is the victim of a horrific foul. And the man who might have ended his career at just 19 years of age, anti-football team Stoke City’s Ryan Shawcross, is minutes after the match called up to play for England. Hey, if he maims a foreigner that’s ok. They don’t like it up ’em. Says Arsene Wenger: “When you see a player of that quality getting injured in the way he did, it’s not acceptable. That is not what I like in the game. I refuse to live with that. Spare me the articles about how nice Shawcross is, please.”

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**EDITORS NOTE CONTENT** Arsenal's Aaron Ramsey (floor) injured on the pitch after a challenge by Stoke City's Ryan Shawcross during the Barclays Premier League match at the Britannia Stadium, Stoke.

Posted: 27th, February 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (6)


Anti-Football Does For Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsey: In Pictures

AARON Ramsey becomes the third Arsenal player in the current squad to have his leg smashed in away games in the Premier League. Abou Diaby had his leg shattered at Sunderland. Eduardo was the victim of an horrific foul in Birmingham that saw his leg snapped. And now Aaron Ramsay is assaulted by Stoke City’s Ryan Shawcross. This is how you play Arsenal. You kick them and kick them and kick them. This is what the beautiful game has become in the hands of they who want to destroy it with what Arsene Wenger calls anti-football. He’s right. The home crowd lionised Shawcross by chanting his name. Sick.

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**EDITORS NOTE CONTENT** Arsenal's Aaron Ramsey (floor) injured on the pitch after a challenge by Stoke City's Ryan Shawcross during the Barclays Premier League match at the Britannia Stadium, Stoke.

Posted: 27th, February 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (3)


Noble John Terry Wins Again As Wayne Bridge Does The Dirty: Pictures And Video

wayne-bridge1JOHN Terry continues to do no wrong in the Sun as the paper backs its  man of candour John Terry, its World Cup Willie, over Wayne Bridge, that sad loser.

Vanessa Perroncel (John Terry’s Alleged Lover)

Having seen sisters organ the NoTW spike the story of Terry’s alleged affair with Vanessa Perroncel – Wayne Bridge’s former lover and the mother of his son – the Sun has been cheering for Super JT ever since.

John Terry’s Wayne Bridge Handshake Frame By Frame

Now Terry and Bridge meet at Stamford Bridge as Chelsea play Manchester City:

* Chelsea skipper JT – sporting a daft mohican hairstyle – offered his hand to Bridge during the pre-match formalities. But Manchester City defender Bridge refused to look Terry in the eye as he passed off the gesture.

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Posted: 27th, February 2010 | In: Sports | Comments (10)


John Terry’s Wayne Bridge Handshake Frame By Frame

TO Stamford Bridge, where Chelsea’s man of candour John Terry is trying to shake hands with Manchester City’s Wayne Bridge. Did JT wash his hands? Did Bridge fail to gob on his own before reaching out a paw? Did JT write (with Ashley’s Cole’s felt tip) “I shagged your kid’s mum” on his hand in biro? Anorak brings you the moment frame by frame.

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Manchester City's Wayne Bridge skips shaking hands with Chelsea's John Terry

Posted: 27th, February 2010 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment


Gatorade Ditches Tiger Woods And Tiger Focus Drink

tiger-woods7ONE of Tiger Woods’ biggest sponsors has ditched him a week after his ridiculous non-news conference.

Gatorade does not want Tiger in its tank. The sports drink company has dumped him from the 2007 $100 million five year deal. Woods is already ditched by major sponsors AT&T and Accenture.

Ashley Cole’s Women (Alleged)

We no longer see a role for Tiger in our marketing efforts and have ended our relationship,” said a Gatorade statement. “We wish him all the best.”

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Posted: 27th, February 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Tyler Jewell’s Mum Shows Us That Lyrca Is Slimming: Video

TYLER Jewell’s Mom is proud of her snowboarding son – he races in the parallel giant slalom snowboard. So proud is mum that she’s posted a video of herself wearing her son’s clothes, clutching his cups and dancing to a HRT hit. This is for you, Tyler Jewell. This is from mum to the boy she named after a euphemism for a post-vindaloo toilet pebble-dashing. Tyler cannot fail now. Mummy says you can do it, Tyler. Nothing tastes of victory like a mummy’s love. And Lyrcra is so slimming:

Posted: 26th, February 2010 | In: Sports | Comment


Chenille Steel Is Ashley Cole’s New Bike: Video

ashley-cole-poolWHILE you were watching heroic loyal family man John Terry be the man to Wayne Bridge’s girly treachery, Ashley Cole “managed to get his leg over again”. Chenille Steel?

Ashley Cole’s Women (Alleged)

This front-page news is accompanied by a file photo of Ashley Cole from July 2009 in a sun-dappled swimming pool. Before him is a blonde. Who is she? The paper tell us:

LOVE rat Ashley Cole managed to get his leg over again yesterday. He climbed on an exercise bike at an exclusive sports clinic.

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Posted: 26th, February 2010 | In: Sports | Comment (1)