Sports | Anorak - Part 226

Sports Category

Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.

Former Falcons Star Michael Vick Earns Like A Blogger

MICHAEL Vick, the disgraced American football star, is is choky. He has a head for figures. Whe he gets out he can run an investment bank, or a blog:

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution examined former Falcons quarterback Michael Vick’s bankruptcy documents and found that the former NFL star squandered $18.2 million and now makes only $12.98 a month off an investment. He spent more than $200,000 just hours before heading off to a 2-year federal prison sentence for his role in a dog-fighting ring.

$12.98 a month.

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Posted: 13th, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comment

Sporting Injuries: Thai Boxer Corey Hill’s Broken Leg

TO the opening bout of the UFC Fight for the Troops benefit show on Wednesday night in Fayetteville, N.C. Corye Hill aims a kick: had Hill winning the opening round of the fight. But during the second stanza, Hill threw a leg kick that Hartt checked with his shin. As Hartt checked the kick, Hill’s leg broke in a rather grotesque manner, leaving the crowd in a stunned silence as Hill crumbled to the mat.

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Posted: 12th, December 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Sports | Comment

The 12 Most Wanted Least Wanted Football Chants And Chanters

GOOD news that two Spurs fans have been arrested for aiming homophobic chants at Portsmouth Town footballer Sol Campbell.

In all 16 suspects have been caught on camera singing songs about the player.

And once these are dealt with, the police will round up any and all other sick-midned fans. The 12 Most Wanted Least Wanted Football Chants And Chanters (NSFW):

Do you know the fans who…:

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Posted: 11th, December 2008 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (8)

Vinnie Jones Is Done In Sixty Seconds

MORE on the Vinnie Jones fight that promises to do wonders for Vinnie’s career as professional actor and Premier League ambassador for peace.

Vinnie faces allegations of assault. Such is the Jones brand that the allegations could destroy his reputation as a gentle man of letters and knowing.

The only hope is that Sun readers will not linger too long on the shot if Jones’ stitched up face and recall his work with the Bone China school of acting…

Note: The Sun says that at some time during the fracas, Jones was seen sporting a cap bearing the legend LA Dodgers. It is said that a Mr Chris Breed did opine: “LA suck.” A source tells us: “Vinnie said. ‘What’s your problem?”

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Posted: 10th, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (5)

After Beijing: A Mongolian Legacy For London 2012

AFTER the 2012 Olympics, the Olympic village will be transformed into the “lungs of East London”, a venue where those not already evicted from the homes and business can come and with big hearty coughs clear their lungs of the city’s visible air.

For those of you who doubt the power of the Olympic legacy, consider the glories of White City (1908; turn left at the Fly Over) and the wonder that is Wembley (turn right at Ikea and watch out for traffic).

Says the message in the flame:

We need a powerful brand to help us achieve our ambition. A brand that combines the power of the Olympic rings and the city of London together. The number 2012 is our brand. It is universal and understandable worldwide

As Waltham Forest borough council hymned.

“The Olympics will promote sport and healthy living in the capital,” it says. “We can now look forward to seeing the area regenerate with the best sporting, leisure and cultural facilities the world has ever seen.”

And that legacy could last all the way to 2009. The Waltham College swimming pool is now managed on a day to day basis by GeLL. “It is anticipated that the pool will continue to operate until June 2009 subject to ongoing review by GLL, the Local Authority and the College.”

“It’s happening here,” trills the Waltham Forest Council slogan. “And it will continue to happen here while everyone’s looking. Then we’ll most likely shut the borough’s biggest public pool.”

Over in Beijing the Olympic legacy is make terrific strides in enduring progress and 21st Century bleeding-edge synergies etcetera and so forth:

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Posted: 9th, December 2008 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)

What’s More Dangerous: Biking Or Jogging?

IS riding a motorcycle at great speed more or less dangerous than joggin? Discuss:

Posted: 9th, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comment

Death Of The Wags: A Play

LADIES and gentlemen, Anorak Playhouse Theatre presents: “DEATH OF THE WAG.”

We join the action on the front page of the Daily Star where Wags are being “savaged by a top Premier League football boss”.

That’s the poster and tagline for the main event sorted. Tickets are sold at 20p a pop. The lights dim. A hulking figure takes centre stage and blasts:

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Posted: 9th, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comment (1)

Let’s Rip Those Brits To Bits And Other Australian Olympic Sports

DID you know that Great Britain, or Team GB as the brand says, scored more gold medals than Australia at the China Olympics?

And did you know what else – the best bit about it is? The Australians cared. They cared enough to produce a film of “a posturing Pom” – “a Brit with a mouth as wide as the Thames” – telling Australians:

“You haven’t got what it takes . . . the only gold you will be picking up is from a chocolate wrapper.”

Indeed. Britons are no longer whingeing Poms. Britons are gloating, brash, cock-sure winners.

Let’s rip the Brits to bits in London 2012,” comes the Aussie slogan.

Higher. Faster. Sadder. That’s the new motto of the Australian Olympic movement. If there one thing that makes winning a swimming medal worthwhile it is seeing the loser take it to heart.

Britain Expects

Of course the message is all wrong. Britain’s new motto may be Dipso Tesco Asbo, but we are noble sports to a man and had the Australians only asked we’d have most likely given them a medal for turning up, or invented new game for them to win.

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Posted: 8th, December 2008 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (5)

Listed: XI football pundits who don’t deserve to survive the credit crunch

There are too many bad football pundits and commentators. Here are 11 we can live without…

Tim Lovejoy
Professional football bore with less charm than Peter Mandelson. Lovejoy is the poster boy for every football-loving, lager-swilling, vindaloo-eating, Nuts-reading, Ben Sherman-wearing, Sky dish-owning, Ford Focus-driving, small-town, small-minded lad. Yes, we know you supported Chelsea back when they were crap. Well done. Now shut up.

David ‘Platty’ Platt
Less-than-zero personality – god damn, his voice is dull – and his face is out of proportion, a bit like Admiral Ackbar’s.

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Posted: 8th, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comment

Moment of Zen: Vinnie Jones glassed during US bar brawl

I didn’t shed a single tear on hearing that Vinne Jones had been glassed in the face during a bar fight in South Dakota. Jones’ nose was reportedly cut to the bone after a pool player hurled a beer glass at him; Jones retaliated by attacking one of the perpetrator’s friends:

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Posted: 8th, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (3)

Want to make easy money? Bet on the Carling Cup semi-finals

ON Saturday 6 December, the draw for the semi-finals of the Carling Cup takes place.

There are four teams left in the pot. They are:

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Posted: 4th, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comment (1)

Where did all the moustaches go?

IN Britain today, the only acceptable moustache today is an ironic moustache, perhaps grown for charity – in ‘Movember’ – or for a bet.

Who’s to blame?

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Posted: 4th, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comment (1)

Video: the best dive in football history?

… Or should that be the worst dive in football history? We’re not sure. Either way, you have to admire his balls (cough):

For the record, this happened in a Colombian league match earlier this week. Incredibly, the ref awarded a penalty to home side Atletico Junior, which they duly converted. There is no justice in sport.

Posted: 4th, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comment (1)

Listed: 10 reasons why American sports fans have more fun

1. Cheerleaders
It’s a bad thing that Americans need to be told when to cheer, but hey… some cheerleaders > no cheerleaders.

2. Guns
They have guns across the pond! And their sports stars are always getting into entertaining scrapes with them. This week, for example, NY Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress (real name) shot himself in the leg in a Manhattan nightclub. Awesome.

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Posted: 3rd, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (5)

Carly Zucker trapped in six-star reality hell

CARLY Zucker may have left the jungle but ‘I’m A Celeb…’ producers have reportedly ignored her tearful requests to fly home and get her hands on fiance Joe Cole’s “buff bod” (her words, not ours).

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Posted: 3rd, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (2)

Who deserves to be BBC Sports Personality of the Year?

In this era of professional sport, it’s strange that anyone still cares about the Beeb’s Sports Personality of the Year.

It’s also strangely refreshing that the award still exists, even if no one takes it too seriously. It reminds us of the quaintness of much of the BBC’s sports coverage in the 20th century – Sports Personality occupies the same memory bank as A Question of Sport‘s picture board, or the rousing intro to Ski Sunday.

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Posted: 3rd, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (5)

Video: Fireball tennis looks like fun

Hey kids, it’s the hot new sporting craze that’s sweeping the internet. Or not.

Don’t try this at home. Unless you’re a pyromaniac, in which case… go right ahead.

Posted: 2nd, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comment (1)

Roger Federer is the most elegant sportsman on the planet. Who else is there?

1. graceful in form or movement

Roger Federer has been voted the second most elegant man on the planet, by Spanish rag Marca. Fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld came first, improbably. Roger wuz robbed.

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Posted: 2nd, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (3)

Robinho attacks Man City team-mates. Or how to spin a story from nothing

THE richest club in the world (aka Man City) are on the express highway to becoming the new Chelski, and so the tabloids are desperate for some good City stories.

These stories come in two delicious flavours:

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Posted: 2nd, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comment

Video: Belgian footballer gives Nazi salutes to opponent

Watch and gasp as Helmond’s Daniel Guijo-Velasco gives two  – count ’em! – Nazi salutes in the general direction of Roosendaal midfielder Mels van Driel, during a Dutch league match on Friday night…

Guijo-Velasco, who is Belgian, twice raised his arm in a Hitler stylee, with the referee failing to take any action on either occasion.

When questioned about his actions after the match, Guijo-Velasco defended his behaviour by claiming that Van Driel was acting like “a German”. What a brilliant argument to defend the indefensible.

Helmond have since punished Guijo-Velasco with an internal suspension. Sounds painful.

Posted: 1st, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comment (1)

Moment of Zen: Cristiano Ronaldo says cheese

“Just take the fricking photo already, I’m eating cake here. Gosh.”

C-Ron, posing with a young fan after the Manchester derby (in which he was sent off). The Portuguese prancer wears Sincerity, by Calvin Klein.

Posted: 1st, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comment

This sporting weekend: top 10 notes and conclusions

1. If most footballers don’t know the dictionary definition of irony, how come they’re so good at ironic applause? Stand up Cristiano Ronaldo, who was lucky not to be sent off after a few such claps in the face of ref Howard Webb. Still, C-Ron more than made up for it by being shown a red card, for blatant handball, later in the game. Stupid boy.

2. Arsenal’s inconsistency is, er, consistent.

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Posted: 1st, December 2008 | In: Sports | Comment

What We Learnt In Football This Weekend

“THERE is no Norwegian words for ‘baptism of fire’…” – Roy Hodgson, manager of Fulham FC, on Norwegian player Brede Hangeland’s performance against Aston Villa.

Posted: 30th, November 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (3)

Weekend picks: Haka beats Morris Dance, and other predictions

Anorak has looked in the office crystal ball. The horror! The horror!

ALL BLACKS over England – Martin Johnson’s boys will struggle to face the haka without running back to the dressing room and hiding in the showers, so we don’t give them much of a chance in the actual game. They may contain the Kiwis for half an hour, but by the end the scoreboard will make messy reading for all those Telegraph-reading investment bankers at Twickers. Shame.

MAN UTD over Man City – In which the richest – although not the best – club in Manchester meets the Premier League champions. Despite the health of their bank balance, City aren’t in Man Yoo’s league… yet. United to win 3-1.

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Posted: 29th, November 2008 | In: Sports | Comments (2)

Viral Video: Nicolas Anelka Taken Hostage

The world’s gone mad for pink boots

Even more unlikely than the pink fad, we hear that the man known to many football fans as ‘Le Sulk’ has a real sense of humour. Nicolas is quite the dressing-room joker at Stamford Bridge and even likes to quote Peter Kay, who he acquired a taste for in his days as The Best Player at Bolton Wanderers.

Funny old game indeed.

Posted: 29th, November 2008 | In: Sports | Comment