Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
ON the day when German Chancellor Angela Merkel accuses Obama’s secret services of tapping her mobile phone calls, former Manchester United assistant Mike Phelan shows us how to keep a secret.
He says that had Sir Alex Ferguson remained in charge at United, the Red Devils would have bought “one of the best players in the world”. By coincidence, when Fergie went, Phelan went soon after as David Moyes brought in his own support team.
Who? Tell us, Mike:
“If Sir Alex and David Gill had still been the bosses… I won’t name the player, but there would have been a star signing – one of the absolute best players in the world.”
WHAT say the experts about Sir Alex Ferguson’s book in which he tells about his time at Manchester United? On the matter of Wayne Rooney, today’s news is mixed:
Says Neil Curtis in the Sun:
WAYNE ROONEY last night brushed off Alex Ferguson’s stinging criticism.
IT turns out that if you want to experience actual racism in football you need not look for it in the dust of Spurs’ Yids and Roy Hodgson’s monkey, but in Russia. At last night’s Champions’ League match against CSKA (now pronounced Siska, in the manner of the That’s Life dog saying ‘sausages’), Manchester City midfielder Yaya Toure was verbally attacked. The Ivory Coast international – a pretty fluent Russian speaker – says:
“I’m not just disappointed, I’m furious….I think Uefa has to take action because players with the same colour of skin will always be in the same position. For me, as captain, I was wearing an armband which said ‘no to racism’ and I was totally disappointed. I told the referee. It was unbelievable and very sad.”
AND the Winner of Halloween 2013 is… Josh Sundquist, Paralympic ski racer and living, breathing pink flamingo.
LAST night, Chelsea beat Schalke and Arsenal lost to Borussia Dortmund in the Champions’ League. Or did they?
The Journal says Arsenal won:
The Mirror is more sober. In that paper Arsenal only drew, which seems harsh on Chelsea and anyone who bet on them winning:
DON’T panic, David Moyes. In his autobiography, Sir Alex Ferguson says Sir Matt Busby will step in to help Manchester United’s new manager:
When I joined United (in 1986) I got great encouragement from Matt Busby, got great support. When I saw that fixture list [for United’s first few matches] I would have been raging at the Football League. United are the only club that can win the league coming from behind, believe me. David Moyes is in a great position, he will get the same help I got from Matt. He will be fine.’’
Chin up, then, Sir Dave.
Note: Sir Matt Busby died in 1994.
ARSENAL’S Arsene Wenger is 64. What says the media?
John Cross, the Daily Mirror: “To borrow another line from The Beatles’ classic When I’m Sixty Four, the song says…
Mark Irwin, The Sun: “Arsene Wenger does not want cards or a birthday cake today…simply confirmation that Arsenal still need him now he’s 64.”
FOOTBALL Quote of The Day: Fulham manager Martin Jol has a few words on Pajtim Kasami’s brilliant goal against Crystal Palace. Can it be compared to Marco Van Basten’s memorable volley for Holland?
“That was totally different, you can’t compare the two…but this was better.”
MANCHESTER United Watch: David Moyes is speaking after a 1-1 home draw against a decent Southampton side.
“Over the years, Manchester United have been slow starters quite often.”
WANT to buy Cristiano Ronaldo’s new Nike Mercurial IX CR7 boot, complete with ‘supernova’ skin print (in homage to Ronaldo’s “out of this world” performances since joining Real Madrid)?
In case you are still undecided as ty the merits of walking in Ronaldo’s shoes, the official Nike blurb, courtesy of design director Denis Dekovic, should seduce you
“The concept of a star that burns brighter than others reflects Cristiano’s style, speed and the idea that as a player he plays without limits, much like the outer reaches of the galaxy. What Cristiano is able to achieve on the field is something that we felt was limitless. So we took that direction and focused on creating a highly luxurious finish fused with modern print and colour choices.”
TREVOR Alexander Warren, 51, of Dundee Beach in the Northern Territory, Australia, told Bathurst Local Court he’d consumed “between 80 and 90 full strength cans of Melbourne Bitter beer“ before driving. He had eaten nothing.
When police pulled over Warren’s Holden utility, they noticed the smell of alcohol coming from the car.
WHEN Bayer Leverkusen’s Stefan Kiessling header smashed into the Hoffenheim net during their recent Bundesliga match, referee Felix Brych had no hesitation in whistling for a goal. Players questioned the decision, but he brooked no disagreement.
Nothing unusual about that, except for one thing: the player doing most of the questioning was Kiessling himself, whose goal ‘celebration’ had consisted of holding his hands and grimacing. From his excellent vantage point he could see what the ref could not: that the ball had missed the goal and powered into the side netting. After that it had somehow slipped through the net and ended up nestling inside.
Roy Hodgson Race Gaffe: Monkeys Outraged At Being Compared To Slack-Jawed, Tattooed England Footballers
WHEN Roy Hodgson used the word” “monkey” in the vicinity of Spurs’s mixed-race Andros Townsend the papers seized on his “gaffe“. They are still seizing. The Mail’s Rob Shepherd writes:
The Football Association have launched a covert investigation into how Roy Hodgson’s race gaffe was leaked to a national newspaper.
Earlier Nail Ashton and Hugo Guye told us that Hodgson has apologised for his “gaffe“, although the paper’s headline writer billed “monkey as a “jibe”.
England manager Roy Hodgson has been forced to make a bizarre apology after making a joke about a monkey while referring to a mixed-race player during a half-time team talk. The coach’s gaffe is believed to have upset a player in the dressing room…
IN 2007, the Daily Mail’s predicted which tyros would make the England team of the future.
They get one right. Admittedly, Micah Richard looked a good bet to an England regular. But some of the other you’d be hard placed to recognise in their own lounges.
ANDROS Townsend Watch: A look at the England’s new great hope.
The Mirror leads with news that the Spurs winger is on 16,000 a week. Every week. It choses to compare Townsend’s new wage packet not with that of a nurse or teacher but with Manu Adebyaor, the Spurs striker on £170,000-a-week. Darren Lewis writes:
Andros Townsend could yet become a target for rival clubs after Tottenham’s reward for his England heroics was a new four-year deal worth ‘just‘ £16,000 a week.
THE huge furore over Roy Hodgson’s Space Monkey quip has been pounced upon by the usual anti-racist moralisers. We hated it because quoting sections of a film is desperately sad. It’s is the novelty tie of oration.
But at least we can laugh at Roy’s gaffe in the Times, which quotes the England manager as saying:
“….there was absolutely no intention on my part to say anything appropriate.”
Good. That makes things much interesting. Keep it up, Roy…
ANORAK presents West Ham manager Samuel Allardye dancing Gangnam Style before an episode on A League of Their Own…
Spurs Monkey Balls: Mixed-Race Loveable Yido Andros Townsend Is Enslaved By The Ridiculous Society of Black Lawyers
COMMENT of the day comes Peter Herbert of an outfit known billed as the Society of Black Lawyers, a name that manages to be both sinister and laced with a pretentious Sixth formers ideas of grandeur. He wants to admonish the FA for Roy Hodgson’s monkey-laden England pep talk.
Roy Hodgson’s comments may not have been made with the intention of causing offence as he has explained with the backing of the FA, nonetheless, offence was caused,’ writes Herbert in a letter to the FA calling for a full and proper investigation.The FA’s statement also confirmed that they had not received any complaints from the England players and therefore the matter was closed. The comments of the FA smack of “institutional racism” bearing in mind the Lawrence Inquiry definition of “unwitting racism”.’
ANOTHER gem from Morrissey’s new autobiography, Autobiography, is this wonderful little tale regaling the gladioli-whirling Smiths frontman’s incredibly brief encounter with one Eric Cantona in the foyer of a Parisian hotel…
ALL football fans know that FIFA are beyond farce. They fine racist clubs the equivalent of lunch money while doling out huge penalties to people who divert from their sponsors and, of course, look for all the world like the kind of company that MIGHT accept bribes to move to tournaments to Qatar, for the first World Cup to be built on a graveyard.
HOW did the England v Poland game go for Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere? Well Charles Sale tells Daily Mail readers:
“It was reassuring to find one of England’s cosseted millionaire footballers having to join the real world on international duty. Jack Wilshere was searching late on Tuesday night – along with others – for just where his vehicle had been left in Wembley’s cavernous main car park. Wilshere had declined the usual chauffeured FA transport – that picks up players in a secured underground area – because he lives near the national stadium.”
THAT the Sun has little time for Roy Hodgson is no great shock. He is, after all, guilty of not being the Sun’s columnist and England would-be legend Harry Redknapp. And so it is that one day after Roy’s Rover have made it into the World Cup Finals by winning their tricky qualifying group, the Sun wades in with an Andros Townsend RACE ROW:
IN the England Under-21 game against Lithuania, the Three Lions ran out 5-0 and that would’ve been something to celebrate. However, there’s something troubling – is English football little more than a brat factory, churning out vacuous, quick-tempered babies who can’t get along?
U21’s manager Gareth Southgate certainly hinted as much, saying that there’s poor relations between England’s talented young few.
WHEN football were invited to engage in an online Q&A with Arsenal’s Mesut Ozil, Millets saw an opportunity. The sellers of canvas and (blushes) anoraks saw a chance for a bit of piggybacking promotional work. So. It tweeted:
‘does our 20 per cent off all clothing offer not make your eyes bulge with disbelief?’