Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
Manchester City: Alan Shearer Says Rusty Joe Hart Will Force His Way |nto Team By Not Playing For England
ALAN Shearer says Manchester City’s Joe Hart is on a “hiding to nothing” for being in the England goal as Roy’s wonders play Germany’s B-team. Why? Well, he tells Sun readers:
YOU have to question the wisdom of using Joe Hart against Germany tomorrow, because I reckon he will be on a hiding to nothing. The pressure on England to play well and get a result has increased massively after the loss to Chile.
And can you imagine the outcry if Joe was to make a costly mistake?
NEWCASTLE United’s Steven Taylor dropped a howler on Twitter today, basically being a ’70s racist, just shy of talking about golliwogs and wondering whether or not to say “some of my best friends are darkies.”
Taylor tweeted a picture which included a black and white minstrel act, someone wearing an afro wig and an African tribesman. And he sent it to Papiss Cisse, Moussa Sissoko, Vurnon Anita and Massadio Haidara, saying “it’s good to see you guys smiling.”
CAN we add this picture of UFC fighter Will Campuzano to the Most Unforgettable Team Photos Of All Time? Will seems excited about his fight with Sergio Pettis:
READER Ian Speight was unimpressed by our photograph of a mouse on the Old Trafford Manchester Untied pitch as the Red Devils played Arsenal earlier this month. He wrote:
Old Story Guys. Utd have a History of Mice Invasions. If you got off your Arses a bit of investigation would have shown you that…
Fair enough. We did.
A mouse runs onto the pitch during Manchester United’s Champions League group C soccer match against Valencia at Old Trafford, Manchester, England, Tuesday Dec. 7, 2010.
Manchester United v West Ham United – Old Trafford. Date: 23/02/2010
Manchester United v Middlesbrough – Old Trafford. Date: 01/05/2006
A mouse appears on the pitch as Manchester United draw with Sunderland during their Premier League match at Old Trafford Stadium 14/04/2006.
A mouse sits on the pitch as Manchester United play Burton Albion in their FA Cup 3rd round replay soccer match at Old Trafford Stadium, Jan. 18, 2006.
Liverpool Fans enjoy the Mickey Mouse banner at the Manchester United v Liverpool game at Old Trafford Ground, Manchester. Date: 22/01/2002
Get the cat back.
Milk for the Manchester United squad at Old Trafford as they continue their build up for Saturday’s FA Cup final against Southampton at Wembley. With the squad is Mandy Bassham, the National Dairy Council’s ‘Cream Cat’. Date: 27/04/1976
WHAT news of Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney? The Sun says he’s about to land a huge £52m deal to carryon playing at Old Trafford. So enamoured with Rooney are United’s money men that they are in a “rush” to keep him at the club until he’s 32.
FOOTBALL as a true British institution. The Great Game starts with schoolboys being taught by famous footballers, followed by extended footage of the Football League War Cup Finals from 1945.
“A famous footballer tells how boys learn football at school and describes the part the game plays in British life. Most towns have their teams, and matches are played every Saturday. Almost everyone takes an interest in these matches, and at the end of the winter the best two teams play in the ‘Cup Final’ for ‘the Cup’, a silver trophy kept by the winners until the next year.”
Look out for clips of Highgate school, Manchester United’s Walter Winterbottom, Corinthians, Chelsea, Crystal Palace, Spurs, West Ham, an Arsenal amateur great, Bolton Wandereres,
ARSENAL’s immobile Nicklas Bendtner wants to leave Arsenal. Yeah, he PLATS for your club, Gooners. We’ve one some research and can reveal that Bendtner was ON the pitch at Old Trafford last weekend.
“I want to get away from Arsenal. Whether it is for winter, we must wait to see. I weigh my decision depending on where the highest sporting challenge lies. In this context, finances mean very little for me. I’ve been playing football since I was four years old and back then it was for the love of the sport. It is for that love that I play today as well.”
And £50,000 a week…
HOW tabloids work: the Sun leads with: “You’ll Never Win In Brazil.”
Who dare say England are not World Cup champs in the waiting?
CHILE boss Jorge Sampaoli has written off England’s World Cup chances.
FOOTBALL does wonderfully peculiar things to people. Human adults wear suits to play finals of matches on computer games while others will name their children after entire teams from the 70s.
Yes, we’re looking at you Charlie Oatway of Sunderland FC, or to give him his full name, Anthony Philip David Terry Frank Donald Stanley Gerry Gordon Stephen James Oatway (he’s named after the entire promotion-winning QPR team of 1973).
More recently, there’s an Arsenal fan who has come a cropper thanks to his football fanaticism and he learned that you shouldn’t ever bet your house on anything.
Henry Dhabasani put a wager on, involving his two-room property on the Arsenal beating Manchester United at Old Trafford. Rashid Yiga was more than happy to see the bet and they both settled down to the grudge game on Sunday.
Dhabasani gambled his house while Yiga offered up his new Toyota Premio AND his wife. The two signed their bet in front of local leaders and other football fans in Iganga.
Manchester United won the game 1-0 and Dhabasani promptly fainted on the final whistle. Reports say that, the next day, several United fans stormed the place where Henry lived with his three wives and five children and chucked them out onto the street.
PANIC over. Martin Keown, the once formidable Arsenal enforcer, has created “blueprint” for England football. The only worry is that he’s has chosen to make his masterplan public via the Daily Mail. The odds on foreigners looking in are high. The plan might be undone before it can be made real. Still, we’ll take a look.
I remember seeing a Japanese man standing on the touchline at our Arsenal training sessions. He was there for the best part of a year, furiously scribbling in his notebook come sun, wind and rain. He was desperate to learn how Arsene Wenger trained us, hoping to pick up tips and secrets – and take them back to Japan. But in all my time at the club winning trophies in a team that played such attractive football, I never saw anyone from the FA doing the same. It’s madness.
Number of World Cups won by Japan since that note-taking? None.
CHRIS Waddle, formerly of Newcastle United, Spurs and England, has a sort of question, that might be rhetorical (but isn’t). He’s thinking about Manchester United;’s Belgian-born star Adnan Januzaj’s chances of playing for England:
“This [switching allegiance] will only happen more and more. Look at the Brazilians playing for Portugal or Croatia or whoever, and how many Turks play for Germany.”
How many Turks play for the German national side? Well, Chris, that would be NONE.
IN case you missed it, the Daily Mail produced an “exclusive” account of Michael Owen’s life. The former Liverpool and England player is mesmeric in his dullness. Highlights are:
‘”I was never really one for having my house adorned with all my memorabilia. I had it all put away. I never wanted to put them up while I was playing in case something miraculous happened and I won another FA Cup or something, but now I’ve finished and I’m getting them all together. I know the number of caps and shirts and I’m framing the special ones. I’ve got a set number of frames and I’m going through in order, with my different debuts and the shirts from every cup final, England-Argentina in the World Cup and when I scored the winner for Manchester United against City. About 15 definitely need to go in, and if there’s room for more I’ll decide what goes in.”
LIKE feeling depressed? Money a bit tight and worried about Christmas? Well, check this – Roberto Di Matteo is still being paid £130,000-a-week by Chelsea.
The Italian was sacked by Chelsea 12 months ago and the club are still picking up the tab and all RDM has to do is sit and watch Jeremy Kyle all day and keep his mouth shut.
Remarkably, Di Matteo didn’t even agree a pay-off settlement when he got the chop at Stamford Bridge, yet, he’ll still see his bank account ticking over nicely until he gets a new job.
WHEN Arsenal lost to Manchester United, one man suffered more than most. In Uganda, Iganga, a staunch Arsenal fan is looking for a home.
Before the game, Henry Dhabasani staked his two-roomed house in a bet with Rashid Yiga, that Arsenal would win the game. On his part, Yiga staked his new Toyota Premio car and his wife that Manchester United would win.”
THE news manager of Hibernian’s new manager is Terry Butcher. This is him ahead of a press conference at Easter Road Stadium, Edinburgh.
How you feelin’ Terry?
IRON Mike Tyson has admitted in his autobiography that he was on all manner of drugs during some of his fights and even used a fake penis to fool dope testers.
Tyson spoke about all this in his book, Undisputed Truth, which stated that he’d taken ‘blow’ and ‘pot’ before fight. Imagine how good he would’ve been if he wasn’t stoned.
He then revealed how he managed to avoid detection: ‘I had to use my whizzer, which was a fake penis where you put in someone’s clean urine to pass your drug test,’ he said.
Mike also took cocaine and blames that for his press conference brawl with Lennox Lewis, where Tyson bit Lennox’s leg!
Either way, with all that in mind, let us look back at some of Mike Tyson’s finest knock-outs and, in amongst them, you’ll find a little treat, different from the rest.
JOHN Terry, the FKW and Chelsea legend, is wanted by Roberto Mancini’s Galatasaray.
One thing, JT: Turkey is planning to make adultery a crime.
JT might go cold Turkey on extra-training sessions or else, allegedly…
SO. How does the Mirror cover the phone hacking trial, in which it’s been revealed to the Old Bailey that Patricia Tierney denies having had sex with Wayne Rooney in 2004?
The story of Rooney and the brothel was broken by the Sunday Mirror. Now Tierney, who was working on reception at Liverpool’s Diva’s massage parlour, says that upon his arrival she told the Everton and soon-to-be Manchester United player: “I … told him he ought to put his hat down and get out of the massage parlour before he was destroyed and that his career was over with.”
Tierney tried to sue the Sun newspaper who claimed she charged Rooney £45 a time for sex at the parlour. She was unsuccessful. She has always denied that she ever had sex with Rooney.
HACKING was illegal. Still is. The perpetrators didn’t erase Milly Dowler’s phone messages. But they did illegal things. The phone hacking trial is well underway at the Old Bailey. And today we hear the name Patricia Tierney. Now 57, in 2004 Tierney was on the front desk at Diva’s massage parlour in Liverpool when Everton and later Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney came knocking.
ROBIN Van Persie is a lot of things – a top finisher for United’ a turncoat for Arsenal – but he is no John Terry. If you are going to call anyone a JT you’d best get your facts straight. PVP has been called a lot of names but labelling him a JT might result in a libel action and pardonable violence.
So, then, to David Ken in the Daily Mail:
You’re not fooling anyone, Robin! Were there shades of JT’s infamous Euro gaffe as substitute Van Persie strips out of his coat to celebrate against Arsenal?
Arsenal and Manchester City Are Useless : Ian Wright Joins Fools’ Chorus Of Praise For Manchester United
As Paul Hayward put it:
No team who win at Borussia Dortmund and lead the Premier League by two points at the end of Remembrance Sunday can be placed in a coconut shy for losing to a majestic Robin van Persie header at Manchester United. To dismiss the Arsenal revival after such an explainable setback would be intellectual vandalism.
Cue Ian Wright:
United have proved time and again that this time of the season is all about accumula-ting points, however you get them. And in many cases, that’s down to scrapping for your lives and making sure that if you don’t win the game, at least you don’t lose it.
Yep, Ian. The most points wins. Got it. Thanks.
Learning curves don’t come much steeper than the one Arsenal got on Sunday — and it’s a lesson they must learn from quickly.
Learning through an way win in the Champions’ League against last season’s runners up was pretty steep. Beating Liverpool 2-0 was steep. But that was earlier in the week, a lifetime away in Wright’s opinion-to-deadline world:
I realise I have to calm down a little on my hopes and expectations.
What do you expect, Ian?
A lot of Arsenal players haven’t really been in too many genuine pressure situations before and it’s something they are going to have to handle…it’s an issue they need to get to grips with sharpish. It’s a similar story with Manchester City…because another poor away defeat — their fourth — has exposed flaws there as well.
So, Arsenal – packed with internationals and managed by 64-years-old Arsene Wenger – and Man City, who won the league title on the last day of the season and are managed by former Real Madrid coach Manuel Luis Pellegrini Ripamonti – can’t handle pressure?
City may have the most expensive and glamorous squad. But they’ve got to realise when they go to the likes of Cardiff, Sunderland and Villa that those fans will be right up for it, making loads of noise, with the players desperate to rattle the big names.
Do you think they know that? How does Wright think you become a footballer at a top club, by accident? You don’t work your socks off? You don’t scrap it out and dedicate yourself to the game?
The quality is in no doubt, but all those big names have to realise fixtures like Sunderland aren’t going to be easy… Of course it’s important to win the big games but you win the Premier League by scrapping it out in the muck or nettles matches.Ones when it’s not pretty, it’s not eye-catching but it’s about heart, desire and determination. Ones where you nick a 1-0 win without being at your best, get the points and get back on the bus.
Like Arsenal did when they beat Crystal Palace with 10 men; and defeated Newcastle United away on the last day of the last season in a must-win match to qualify for the Champions’ League? And didn’t Man City beat Man United 4-1 this season? (No need to check – they did.)
If it stays as tight as this, the experience of handling the heat will be vital. And no one has it more than United.
No? Not Wenger and Pelligrini but Moyes has the experience of winning titles in Wright’s world.
That’s why Sunday showed Arsenal and City still have work to do in that department. They’re going to have to learn quickly otherwise they will end up empty-handed come next May.
To recap: David Moyes has never managed a team that has won the league.
Talking Balls: Manchester United Are Tough Nuts, Arsenal And Softies And Spurs Have World-Class Strikers
MANCHESTER United beat Arsenal 1-0 in a close game at Old Trafford. Arsenal looked tired. The spirited Red Devils took their chance – and should write a thank you letter to the Gunners’ hapless Nicholas Bendtner. Still, Arsenal remain top of the league by two clear points. As Matt Dickinson writes in the Times:
Arsenal need him back healthy as they face back-to-back tests against Chelsea and Manchester City next month. They took two points out of a possible 18 in matches against the top four last season.
Defeat yesterday continued that troubling run, yet no one was reading too much into it, even if Wenger himself had called it a “benchmark” game. We have learnt not to assume anything, even more so after a weekend when United leapfrogged Manchester City, who are most people’s title favourites. That was last week.
Indeed. The Gunners remain the team to beat as they sit top of the Premier League.
AT Manchester United’s Premier League match with Arsenal, the pitch was invaded by a mouse. What can it mean? Is it United manager David Moyes’ lucky pet mouse? The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men…
Watch out for the owls.