Strange But True Category
Weird, offbeat and bizarre news from around the world. Funny, strange & odd news stories that make you wince, laugh and fear for humanity.
A CLEARLY bonkers Canadian dentist called Dr Michael Zuk has spoken of his not weird and distressing at all plans to clone dead Beatle John Lennon and raise him as a son.
See, he’s got DNA from the singer’s tooth and doesn’t see any weird moral implications of owning his own little Beatle, like he’s the evil empire in Star Wars, making a load of Jango Fetts.
EASTER is upon us. How will you celebrate? Chocolate and sweet treats are traditional methods. Let’s take a look at some of the worst Easter sweets for Jesus, which all taste of regret and guilt:
Easter Sunday Munchies
Jesus with the flip top head
An 8Bit Easter
Celebrate Easter and your childhood gaming memories at the same time. You used to search for a princess. On the first Easter, Mary searched for someone much more important. Please spread the word! Share on Facebook and Pinterest. Let others in your church know about this 8bit Easter shirt and help us raise funds for our church!!
The Real Easter Egg (from the UK!)
Inside is a 24 page Easter story book, a Belgian milk chocolate egg and pack of Swiss Chocolate organic Chunky Buttons. A charity donation is made from each sale. There are three crosses on the front and under the lid there is a quote from the bible – the resurrection text from Mark chapter 16. £3.99 each delivered in boxes of 6.
A special edition Real Easter Egg. Inside is an olive wood holding cross from Bethlehem, an Easter message an extra thick Belgian Chocolate gold foiled egg (180g) and Meaningful milk Chocolate bar with a hint of natural orange (100g). The box has gold foil highlights and Celtic crosses. £9.99 each delivered in single boxes.
Inside are 20 Midi eggs and 20 copies of the Easter story 8 page booklet. Midi-egg foil reads ‘The Real Easter Egg. Christ is Risen.’ Ideal for church services, assemblies or events where you have a budget of £1 per person. £19.99 each delivered in single boxes.
Spotter: The American Jesus
Spotter: Christian Nightmares
TO Saudi Arabia, where the locals are going nuts for the “penguin dance,” or “raqsat al-batriq” in Arabic.
WHO is the ‘Mystery Pooper of Ann Arbor defecating on slides?
Will police get to the bottom of it before the poo does?
Spotter: Boing Boing
MEET Mary Magdalene, Jesus Christ’s girlfriend. You may know her as Mary Luck. Mary lives in Australia. She is “somewhat known historically but largely unknown”. She hangs out with Jesus, known locally as AJ Miller.
It took a week for AJ to realise that he was Jesus.
It might have taken others longer. But he’s the real deal, as he says:
“There’s probably a million people who say they’re Jesus and most of them are in asylums. But one of us has to be. How do I know I am? Because I remember everything about my life.”
BJOERN Frilund, 64, of Eidsbygda, Norway, was pleased to have landed a 13lb cod.
When he gutted the fish, he found a large orange vibrator inside.
Are fish buying sex aides? Is fishing now the way for shy types to get their hands on all manner of bedroom devices – forget the brown paper bag, Mr Patel, just slip it into the guppy?
WHEN the waterworks in Truro, Cornwall, closed, the nearby Wig and Pen created a banner to remind the locals it was still open. The “Pen” and the “Is” are a little close together.
The sign has been taken down.
WHEN Franklin Youngblood saw the picture of his 85-year-old mother Bernice stuffing cash in the knickers of a young male stripper at Long Island’s East Neck Nursing home he was upset.
LANGTON’S Ant is a story of habit. Scientist Chris Langton discovered the phenomenon in 1986.
If you were to put an ant down on a grid of squares and ask the ant to follow two rules something odd would happen.
THE Telegraph has the headline that we can all take a minute to appreciate:
Irish bomber blew himself up after device went off too soon ‘because he forgot to put his watch forward’
Our hero had placed a bomb beneath a Volvo SUV. Kaboom!
The suspected bomber was seen fleeing the area in Dublin with “blood dripping down his face” .
A police source told the Mirror:
“This certainly was a high-grade explosive used in this bomb. It wasn’t garbage stuff. It would appear the bomber got his timings wrong. It could be a case where he didn’t put his watch forward on Sunday and the timer went off too soon. If anyone had been in the car or walking near it at the time then they would have been killed.”
Supt Dave Taylor ads, lest the most simple fact escape us, as it seems to have escaped the cretinous villain:
“It is quite obvious that the car was the object of this attack.”
The owner of the vehicle, a local businessman, has offered no comment.
‘IS Nothing Safe?’ presents the story of the middle-aged man who had a skipping rope successfully removed from his urethra. The inserted rope measures 1.1-metres long and 4.4-millimetres wide.
The man inserted the skipping rope into his penis, where it became stuck. All but the last 10cms was inside the man. The last bit was hanging out.
To the hospital in Yichang City, Hubei Province, China, then, where a urologist named Dong investigated the ”ridiculous” sight. A medic named Zhang then cuts it free.
So. Is anything safe?
PS : if your date asks you to go “Dutch” and showw you a skipping rope, take care:
CIRCA 1780: Francis Gerber Vampiryc Research Case:
UNIVERSITY lecturer John Hyatt claims to have photographed fairies flitting about Rossendale Valley, Lancashire. Mr Hyatt, who works at Manchester Metropolitan University, has showcased his discovery and said: “A lot of people who have seen them say they have brought a little bit of magic into their lives and there’s not enough of that around.”
Is magic a doily cut into wings shapes and suspended on dental floss Is that what fairies are, offcuts from Blue Peter?
CHAMANGENI Zulu is now surely on his way to riches. Currently in residence at Zambia’s Chipata General Hospital in Zambia, near the Malawi border, Mr Zulu followed doctor’s orders: he went into the bush and allowed / encouraged a hyena to eat his penis. Mr Zulu tells the Times of Zambia:
“I met some business persons who told me the best way to become rich was to sacrifice parts of my body. I was instructed to be naked and a hyena came to me and started eating my toes and eventually my manhood was eaten. Even if I have lost some important parts of my body, I still want to get rich.”
IN 1940, the pamphlet A potato that wasn’t a Christian hit the streets.
Now read on:
Mummy. Who makes potatoes..?
MUG Shot of the day features 21-year-old Ross McMakin, of Philomath, Oregon, arrested last Sunday on multiple charges including driving under the influence of intoxicants.
TODAY Ella Birchenough was rescued by firefighters after getting stuck in a storm drain while trying to retrieve her iPhone.
The 16-year-old, squeezed down the hole to try to fetch her phone in Eaves Road, Dover, Kent. But she became stuck fast in front of a group of amused onlookers, including her mother, according to witness Tim Richards.
It was thoughtful of someone to take photos.
WHEN THERESA Ritchie spots a dog poo on an Aberdeen street she decorates it in strawberries and cream, or icing sugar and Nutella, which she keeps in her handbag.
“People in Peterhead are regularly stepping on dog mess on the pavements. I wanted to highlight the problem in an amusing way. This shows people are watching dog owners who can’t be bothered to clean up after their pets. The food idea has showed that dog poo wasn’t being cleaned up by the council. It sometimes lies on the streets for around eight weeks.”
FIRE has gutted the newly refurbished Phoenix Theatre and Studio building on North Street in Lewes, East Sussex.
Witness Adrian Sunderland says the venue had been hired by the – get this – the Cliffe Bonfire Society.
IT was an interesting week for Ina Groll.
You know her work? Perhaps you know her as the model, pictured above showcasing the wonders of escalators? Or do you know her as the film industry’s Kitty Blair, star of the intrepid tale Kitty Discovers Sperm? Or maybe its her campaigning for Germany’s National Democratic Party that caught the eye? Who are they? Well:
The National Democratic Party of Germany is a far-right political party. It was founded in 1964 as successor to the German Reich Party. The party is usually described as a neo-Nazi organization, and has been referred to as “the most significant neo-Nazi party to emerge after 1945.”
Other Parents’ Kids With Stupid Names: ‘Elektra Esmerelda, a little sister for Dorothy, Wulfstan and Cleopatra’
OTHER Parents’ Kids With Stupid Names: an occasional look at birth announcements he press:
On 22nd March 2014, to Gilly (née Ivil) and Rupert, a daughter, Elektra Esmeralda, a little sister for Dorothy, Wulfstan and Cleopatra..— 9lbs 6ozs.
OTHER Parents presents those parents who give their ordinary kids extraordinary names:
Biggles and Posie JACKSON-KEW
On 29th March 2013, to Emily (née Kew) and Christian, a son, Biggles George Fittleworth, and a daughter, Posie Betsy Winifred, a brother and sister for Tuppence.
Published in The Times on April 13, 2013
Take them up, Ginger. Higher. Higher. Higher…