Strange But True Category
Weird, offbeat and bizarre news from around the world. Funny, strange & odd news stories that make you wince, laugh and fear for humanity.
We are at a loss. Cultural imperialism is rife. The Sun reports on “mum” Priscilla Terumalai, who was “hauled” into Mayville Primary School in Leytonstone, East London, to explain why her 5-year-old daughter and her classmates had been giggling at their teacher: Miss Butt. For some reason, the figurative blighters found the name funny.
Indeed, dear reader, this is grim news. Miss Bottom, Miss Gluteus Maximus or Miss Arse would all be more suited to triggering laughter at a traditional British school. Miss Butt is so Americanised. It can’t be long before the kids are finding Miss Booty-Call hilarious.
Anyhow, Priscilla says the school is unhappy that Miss Butt was the butt of the kids’ laughter and may now move her children Annalise and Destiny to… Yes, Destiny.
Stop that! Stop that laughing. Stop it now!
PS: the local newspaper began its report: “A MOTHER says she feels ‘intimidated’ by a school after a teacher became the butt of her daughter’s humour.”
Free speech. No butts.
Cardiff council has invested £30,000 renting the biggest Christmas tree in the country.
At 40 metres the fake tree made of metal, plastic and more plastic would have been the envy of every municipal council in the land. But something went wrong and the tree if only 40ft high.
The tree, made in China, was hired for £10,000 a year on a three-year contract.
The council has yet to put an ‘angel’ on the tree but the city’s head of parks and gardens is being lubed up as we write.
To Boston, where the FBI will pay a $1,000 reward for information leading to the capture of the “Spelling Bee Bandit”, so called because he can’t spell robbery. Police say the felon has robbed four different banks in Massachusetts over a two-week period. In every case, the criminals puts on sunglasses and hands a demand note with the word “Robery” written on it.
The robber is slim, male, white, in his late 30s or early 40s who is between 5’11” and 6’2″ and approximately 160 pounds. He talks with a “local” accent.
He is most likely getting increasingly aggressive as the tellers continue to ask him what a “robery” is and is they are dressed appropriately.
To Brisbane, Australia, where police have located a loaded gun wedged between a biker’s buttocks. Police located not one but two handguns. The second handgun was in his…car.
Officer Mick Niland is delighted: “It was great work by city officers acting promptly on reported suspicious activity and conducting a thorough search of the vehicle. Those that associate with OMCGs [outlaw motorcycle gangs] have to realise there is a cost and a risk to being a member or an associate of these crime gangs and organised crime.”
Well, quite. But given the location of that gun, bikies might be a danger to themselves.
To Germany, where a man looking for a lost wedding ring has found – wrapped around a carrot he dug from the ground.
The 82-year-old man lost the ring three years ago. He found it while the ring while gardening in Bad Muenstereifel.
It was a real turn-up for the books. (Ouch!)
To the Gulf of Ob, northwest Siberia, where thousands of massive snowballs pebbledash the beach. The snowballs – ranging from the size of a tennis ball to almost 1m (3ft) across – are formed by ice rolled by wind and water.
File under: Russia’s got big balls.
Lord Heseltine tells the story of the time he strangled a dog.
Anyone seen that coat? And can is pass for human hair?
“These must be the best costumes of Halloween 2016 by my sisters friends in Wicklow,” tweets @ChrisJudge.
More Halloween oneupmanship as we read of 37-year-old Candice Kreidel. She’s been arrested for partially dressing up as a clown – she was mostly naked – and chasing cars.
Wearing clown make-up, a stocking cap and “either partially or completely nude”, Kreidel was seen running up and down a road in Clarksville, Tennessee. Police says she appeared to be chasing cars and jumping in front of other vehicles.
The local newspaper reports:
While officers were headed to the location, there were four calls to 911 from a woman who berated, threatened, and cursed the dispatchers. Police determined these calls came from the suspect’s phone. When police arrived at her home, they found her in a sports bra, pyjama pants, and a stocking cap. Police said her face and body were covered in what could be described as clown make-up.
Kreidel, admitted to making the phone calls and running about in the road.
It;s an odd story. you’d think a driver might stop and help the naked woman stood in the street. Give her the right amount of make-up and what chivalrous man would not offer his assistance. Over-do the pancake and men forget their urges, slam their foot to the floor and make for the hills at speed.
Tweet of the Week was supplied by @S_alqsimi , via, Deanne DuKhan (@DukhanD), who responds to news as to why women driving is forbidden. “Lorraine in the UK asks, which makes and models please?”
Hey, ladies, Curb Your Enthusiasm (language is NSFW):
Hot dogs are un-Islamic, says the Malaysian Islamic Development Department (MIDD). To receive halal certification,the MIDD, a religious government body, says hot dogs must be renamed.
MIDD’s Sirajuddin Suhaimee explains says: “In Islam, dogs are considered unclean and the name cannot be related to halal certification.”
Yes, but the hot dog contains no dogs, it being most often a composite blend of pigs’s scrotum, anus and lips.
“Malaysian halal food guidelines say halal food and halal artificial flavour shall not be named or synonymously named after non-halal products such as ham, bak kut teh, bacon, beer, rum and others that might create confusion,” he adds.
The Auntie Anne store has been refused halal certification unless it renamed its “Pretzel Dog”. Mr Suhaimee says it should be called a Pretzel Sausage”.
And in keeping with Islamic law, Auntie Anne might care to ‘circumcise’ the tip of its Fat Torpedo:
Other Parents spots this story from Florida. When Chelsea Wilson, 24, was arrested in connection with a bank robbery in Fort Lauderdale, she told the teller: “You have exactly one minute to give me all your $50 & $100 bills from both your drawers or I will shoot you! No dye packs, no alarms follow these instructions and no one will get hurt, act normal.”
Wilson then walked off with $300 in cash and got into a waiting car -a vehicle registered to Wilson’s father, who was in the driver’s seat.
“I drove her to a job interview and waited for her to return,” said dad. “I thought the cash was advance payment for her job.”
Wilson has admitted to robbing the TD Bank branch and the three other banks, presumably in her role as security assessor.
Here of the day is Ben Duke, who saved a dog’s life when its leads got trapped in an elevator. “I happened to walk out at the right time and save the dogs life,” says Ben, general manager at The Roadway Inn in Greenville, South Carolina.
“The doors closed, and I guess he didn’t realise that his dog had wandered off,” Ben adds. “I just grabbed the lead, and struggled with it, then I guess adrenaline set in or something, and I snapped the leash right above my hand. The dog was scared, and fought me pretty hard. In fact, he scratched me pretty good on my face. I don’t blame him. It was pretty scary.
“The owner was crying and was so grateful. He just came up and hugged me. It was pretty crazy. I was just reacting and doing what I was supposed to do in that situation. People are calling me a hero, but I can’t imagine the other outcome. I just did what you are supposed to do in this situation.”
Boo Boo the dog is fine.
The message to parents with children at St Dunstan’s school, Glastonbury, Somerset, is clear: state your ‘cunt’ of birth:
The school says the word ‘cunty’ is a typo and not a comment on nationality. The letters ‘O’ and ‘R’ were not included in error.
“It became a problem when the tail grew outside the body,” said the 14-year-old boy’s mother, who doesn’t want to be named.
“He would just lift the [8-inch] tail every time he needed to change his clothes. I could see that it was very annoying and painful for him, so I took him to a hospital.” Doctors say the teenager might have developed the tail in the womb as a result of a spinal deformity, but that it appeared outside only after he grew up.
“When the size of the tail grew… [it] began to press on the boy’s back,” says surgeon, Dr Pramod Giri. “It was cosmetically and psychologically disturbing for him.”
Do you dress to the left or to the right, sir?
To Florida, where Nicholas Melice, Sr., 46, is rowing with his son, Nicholas Jr., 19.
Mr. Melice Sr. (above) wants to throw away Mr. Melice Jr.’s Lego.
It gets heated. Police are called.
“Both Mr. Melice and Mr. Melice Jr. advised they wished to pursue criminal charges,” reported an officer who added that he was unable to determine the scrape’s “primary aggressor”.
The Melices were arrested.
We can all debate the merits of a 19-year-old being so attached to their Lego – and the young master’s haircut, which seems to be modelled on one of his toys.
It’s ok. That hair most likely pulls off and can be replaced easily.
Emma Phillips, Wallasey, Wirral, is the trainee teacher who got a large dildo stuck in her anus (?). This is no secret. Emma has not been exposed or outed in some way. She wants to tell us all about her “embarrassing” accident because it is a “taboo” we need to be warned about.
She’s told her story to Mercury Press, who have sold it to the Daily Mirror. How you prove the story of the vanishing viby is a moot point. Emma just wants to tell us about it. And we are all ears.
And no giggling as “Emma offers a thumbs up from her hospital bed”. Let’s hope she washes it first and removed any false fingernails.
One day her child will get to read about the tale of “Mum-of-one Emma Phillips”, her partner Lee Miller, 29, and the the 7 inch sex toy that “disappeared”.
When she leaned forward she could feel it vibrating inside her bottom wedged behind her hip.
Lee tried to extract the toy with a fork handle and BBQ prongs before calling for an ambulance.
In Wrexham hospital Emma underwent the “minute-and-a-half surgery which involved placing a camera down her throat and the surgeon pressing on her stomach before manually extracting i”.
And “Doctors offered her the toy as a keepsake but she decline”.
Next week: I got a BBQ stuck inside my vagina.
To Kentucky, where Jonathan Martin, 20, has been arrested and charged with wearing a mask in a public place and disorderly conduct. Martin’s crime was to dress up as a clown. Police found him at 1:00am dressed in “full clown costume” crouching among trees.
The local news says, “Recent reports of clowns trying to lure children into woods have sparked alarm.”
On a list of things likely to seduce a child, dressing up as scary clown is one below a plate of raw broccoli.
“Dressing as a clown and driving, walking or standing in public can create a dangerous situation for you and others,” says Kentucky, police. “While dressing up is not, in and of itself against the law, doing so in public and thereby creating an unnecessary sense of alarm is illegal.”
In today’s Other Parents news we go Linzi Marie Cake Supplies and Confectionary in Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, where a family are robbing the place. The man is putting chocolate bars in his pockets. the woman is stuffing confectionary down her top. The two kids are ‘browsing’.
When the store posted CCTV footage of the felons’ family day out nicking on Facebook, the father figure returned, “gave a lot of excuses” and paid.
Bedfordshire police are investigating.
Artist Craig Ward took sterilized sponges onto the New York sUbway system. He was looking for life invisible to the naked eye. He pressed the swabs into agar plates and incubated them in his Brooklyn studio.
“Over the summer of 2015, I rode the trains of each of New York City’s twenty-two subway lines, collecting bacterial samples from hand rails, seats and other high traffic surfaces in an attempt to create an unconventional series of portraits of the city’s complex eco-system and a snapshot of the city at large,” says Craig. “The resulting images are a portrait of the complex microcosm that each of us contribute to and are a part of.”
“When you hold onto the handrail it’s like you’re shaking hands with a hundred people at the same time.”
“You look at the subway and it’s all just different shapes and sizes and colours of people and you look at it at a microscopic level and it’s all just different shapes and sizes and colors of bacterial colonies,” Ward tells Bernstein & Andriulli. “It’s a nice kind of portrait of the city on a very small scale.”
Among the bugs are strains of E. coli, serratia marcescens, proteus mirabilis and salmonella.
You can buy Craig’s work here.
The WestJet flight from Toronto to Vancouver was evacuated when someone said there were lizards loose on board.
Four iguanas were found in the bags of a passenger on a flight from Cuba to Toronto*. But by the time customs officers in Toronto checked the bags only two of the lizards were in the suitcase.
So they went back to the plane and hunted for the missing iguanas. None we found – so they fumigated the jet, presumably with the intention of killing any creatures onboard.
In this video, an Ethiopian shepherd transports two sheep. Notes below the video tell us the “shepherd moves a couple of his animals across Bahir Dar in Amahara State”.
So much for Olympic cyclists going round and round and round a track. This takes the sport to new heights. The Tour de France King of the Mountain (Goats) would be great telly.
The Half Moon pub in London’s Herne Hill has banned the following people. Santero tweeted the list, says“… it’s like a Guy Ritchie casting call.” I have to agree.
This question is filed in today’s Daily Telegraph: “In Theresa May‘s meritocracy, what will become of the stupid and useless?”
Answer: they will work co the council.
Plus ca change.
Once upon a time, a policeman might have laughed it off. Now they are humourless and supremely territorial about their food. So when a woman took three chips from a copper’s plate at Washington’s Italian Pizza Kitchen, he arrested her for theft.
She took one chip. The officer asked her to stop. She took another. He thundered a warning her that she was engaging in theft and could be arrested. She took another one.
The officer notes that the “offender appropriated the listed property without the consent of the complainant”. He lists the stolen goods as “French fried potato“.
She has been charged with second-degree theft.
She did not offer to regurgitate the stolen goods.
Of course, police think nothing of interrupting your meals: