Strange But True Category
Weird, offbeat and bizarre news from around the world. Funny, strange & odd news stories that make you wince, laugh and fear for humanity.
Big news on the Sun’s cover is that teetotal Muslims who eat at Brewer’s Fayre and Whitbread Inn pubs will be “outraged” to learn their beef lasagne contains pork. How many Muslims are shocked, dismayed and angered by the presence of non-kosher meats in their non-halal stomach liner could run into the single digits.
The cheesy beef lasagne is, we’re told, 8.5 percent beef and 4.5 per cent pork.
The meal is made by Creative Foods in Flint, Wales. The Sun recalls that in 2013 Creative “sold lasagne containing horse DNA to Whitbread”. Which, as any Italian will tell you, made it pretty authentic.
What do we make of the news that ‘A British man who fell pregnant after he used Facebook to find a sperm donor has said he will be the “greatest dad”.’ That’s the start of the Indy‘s article on Hayden Cross, 20, a woman who, having been told by the NHS that she wouldn’t be able to freeze her eggs for use at a later date due to her hormonal gender transitioning, found a sperm donor on the web and got pregnant.
The Indy says, “He is now four months pregnant and may be the first British man ever to give birth.” Be he isn’t. Because, well, he’s not a he. He is not pregnant. She is. We can agree on that, surely? No. The Sun says, “He is legally male.”
The Indy is at pains to tell readers that Hayden Cross is a man. “Mr Cross said his first attempt using donor sperm had been successful and he would continue his transition process to remove his breasts and ovaries as soon as he has given birth,” says the paper.
Every paper agrees that Hayden is a pregnant man.
PREGNANT DAD-TO-BE Who is Hayden Cross? UK’s first pregnant man undergoing gender realignment treatment – Sun
FIRST PREGNANT MAN! British man four months pregnant after receiving sperm donation – Express
Proudly showing off his baby bump: Former Asda worker is the first British MAN to become PREGNANT after finding a sperm donor on Facebook – Mail
Hayden (born Paige) tells the Sun: “In September I got pregnant by a sperm donation. I found the donor on the internet… The man came to my house, he passed me the sperm in a pot and I did it via a syringe. I felt I’d no choice, I couldn’t afford a proper clinic. I don’t know who the bloke was. To be honest I can’t remember anything about him. He wouldn’t even tell me his name. He said he was just doing it to help people.”
Can Hayden be certain the sperm was the man’s and not harvested from another source? If you got a pot of jism from a stranger would you be not a little circumspect?
“It was the first attempt and it worked,” adds Hayden. “I was really lucky.”
It is an unusual story. But is there really no newspaper editor looking on thinking it’s not the story of a pregnant man?
Local News Watch: Adam Hart spots two paragraphs in the Western Gazette which, as he says, show us “journalism at its very best”.
The story is about a car parking matters. Two cars have been spotted parked close together in Frome, Somerset. The local news hound places the happening in context: “They’re not the first two vehicles to have been pictured inches from one another in the town. A yellow Citroen parked inches away from a blue Volkswagen at Sainsbury’s a few months ago.”
This story might be missing the still bigger scoop: who is going around Frome taking pictures of cars almost touching and are they on a police register?
Spotter: Adam Hart
To Chicago, where Latasha Eatman has been jailed for 49 days for something she didn’t do. CBS News reports that Eatman was arrested in 1993 on minor marijuana possession charges. Her punishment was to complete a period of community service. But Eatman was unable to comply because the facility to which she’d been detailed was closed and full whenever she turned up. And she turned up on numerous occasions. Eventually a judge excused her from probation.
Fast forward to 2016 and police looking for shops selling contraband cigarettes spot Eatman and run her name through the computer. The machine flags up an outstanding warrant for failure to complete community service. On the strength of the shoddy data and poor admin, police arrest Eatman and locked her up. After ten days in prison, the mother of a six-year-old is brought before the Beak. She tells him what happened and of the previous ruling. But this judge calls her a liar. He orders that Eatman is slammed back in prison and held without bond. For 29 days she remains in choky.
By chance, one Cara Smith, a chief officer at the Cook County Sheriff’s Office, is running an audit of first-time offenders locked up in their jail. The authorities realise their error. Whoops!
One day later, Eatman is released.
And how was your day?
As the internet watches footage of a man punching a kangaroo in the face (see below), we’ve been looking at the story of the Glasgow Celtic fan who throw a burger at a police horse before the Champions’ League match at Manchester City’s Etihad stadium.
The fan was arrested and fined £90 for a public order offence.
(The horse did not eat the ‘beefburger’. Horses are not cannibals.)
Minds turn to April 2013, when Newcastle United fan Barry Rogerson, 45, threw something else at a police horse working at the match: a punch. He told the tabloids: “I reacted stupidly but I did not go out to attack a horse. I love animals. I’ve got three dogs, a fish pond out the back and I feed foxes across the road.”
Maybe it’s time police adopted the football clubs’ policy of not using real animals, but mascots? Why should animals be hurt when people are willing to put there beaks and snouts in the firing line.
“We all thought he was having a laugh, but then he called us a bunch of “c****” and after a few words exchanged he waddled off back to the Family Stand,” said one Torquay fan of club mascot Gilbert The Gull. “At the end of the game, Gilbert came over again and in front of us on the pitch, he gave the ‘come on then’ body language towards us and wouldn’t stop until hiding behind the stewards and again waddling off as we moved towards the exits.”
Others have behaved worse, like Chaddy the Owl (Oldham Athletic), who set about the Blackpool mascot. Blackpool press officer Matthew Williams told us: “I was in the press box and they were play-fighting, when Chaddy waded in and seemed to be kicking 10 bells out of Bloomfield Bear.”
And now for the kangaroo puncher. He’s Greig Tonkins, 34, an elephant keeper at Taronga Western Plains Zoo in Dubbo, New South Wales. He was out hunting wild pigs when his dog was grabbed in a headlock by a roo.
Tonkins wins by a technical knock out.
Kangaroos are feisty. In June a roo broke a woman’s breast implants. “Just out of the corner of my eye I’ve seen this kangaroo up on this ledge,” Mrs Heinrich told News Ltd in Australia. “I thought, ‘he’s cute’, and then he jumped on top of me and used me to launch off and on to my girlfriend. [The implants] are silicon and saline, and the saline will just go through your body but the silicon now congeals so it stays within the area but it’s very painful, it’s up there with cracked ribs.”
Greig had best take care. And watch out for those wild pigs. They’re huge.
We’re gonna need a bigger fist.
We are at a loss. Cultural imperialism is rife. The Sun reports on “mum” Priscilla Terumalai, who was “hauled” into Mayville Primary School in Leytonstone, East London, to explain why her 5-year-old daughter and her classmates had been giggling at their teacher: Miss Butt. For some reason, the figurative blighters found the name funny.
Indeed, dear reader, this is grim news. Miss Bottom, Miss Gluteus Maximus or Miss Arse would all be more suited to triggering laughter at a traditional British school. Miss Butt is so Americanised. It can’t be long before the kids are finding Miss Booty-Call hilarious.
Anyhow, Priscilla says the school is unhappy that Miss Butt was the butt of the kids’ laughter and may now move her children Annalise and Destiny to… Yes, Destiny.
Stop that! Stop that laughing. Stop it now!
PS: the local newspaper began its report: “A MOTHER says she feels ‘intimidated’ by a school after a teacher became the butt of her daughter’s humour.”
Free speech. No butts.
Cardiff council has invested £30,000 renting the biggest Christmas tree in the country.
At 40 metres the fake tree made of metal, plastic and more plastic would have been the envy of every municipal council in the land. But something went wrong and the tree if only 40ft high.
The tree, made in China, was hired for £10,000 a year on a three-year contract.
The council has yet to put an ‘angel’ on the tree but the city’s head of parks and gardens is being lubed up as we write.
To Boston, where the FBI will pay a $1,000 reward for information leading to the capture of the “Spelling Bee Bandit”, so called because he can’t spell robbery. Police say the felon has robbed four different banks in Massachusetts over a two-week period. In every case, the criminals puts on sunglasses and hands a demand note with the word “Robery” written on it.
The robber is slim, male, white, in his late 30s or early 40s who is between 5’11” and 6’2″ and approximately 160 pounds. He talks with a “local” accent.
He is most likely getting increasingly aggressive as the tellers continue to ask him what a “robery” is and is they are dressed appropriately.
To Brisbane, Australia, where police have located a loaded gun wedged between a biker’s buttocks. Police located not one but two handguns. The second handgun was in his…car.
Officer Mick Niland is delighted: “It was great work by city officers acting promptly on reported suspicious activity and conducting a thorough search of the vehicle. Those that associate with OMCGs [outlaw motorcycle gangs] have to realise there is a cost and a risk to being a member or an associate of these crime gangs and organised crime.”
Well, quite. But given the location of that gun, bikies might be a danger to themselves.
To Germany, where a man looking for a lost wedding ring has found – wrapped around a carrot he dug from the ground.
The 82-year-old man lost the ring three years ago. He found it while the ring while gardening in Bad Muenstereifel.
It was a real turn-up for the books. (Ouch!)
To the Gulf of Ob, northwest Siberia, where thousands of massive snowballs pebbledash the beach. The snowballs – ranging from the size of a tennis ball to almost 1m (3ft) across – are formed by ice rolled by wind and water.
File under: Russia’s got big balls.
Lord Heseltine tells the story of the time he strangled a dog.
Anyone seen that coat? And can is pass for human hair?
“These must be the best costumes of Halloween 2016 by my sisters friends in Wicklow,” tweets @ChrisJudge.
More Halloween oneupmanship as we read of 37-year-old Candice Kreidel. She’s been arrested for partially dressing up as a clown – she was mostly naked – and chasing cars.
Wearing clown make-up, a stocking cap and “either partially or completely nude”, Kreidel was seen running up and down a road in Clarksville, Tennessee. Police says she appeared to be chasing cars and jumping in front of other vehicles.
The local newspaper reports:
While officers were headed to the location, there were four calls to 911 from a woman who berated, threatened, and cursed the dispatchers. Police determined these calls came from the suspect’s phone. When police arrived at her home, they found her in a sports bra, pyjama pants, and a stocking cap. Police said her face and body were covered in what could be described as clown make-up.
Kreidel, admitted to making the phone calls and running about in the road.
It;s an odd story. you’d think a driver might stop and help the naked woman stood in the street. Give her the right amount of make-up and what chivalrous man would not offer his assistance. Over-do the pancake and men forget their urges, slam their foot to the floor and make for the hills at speed.
Tweet of the Week was supplied by @S_alqsimi , via, Deanne DuKhan (@DukhanD), who responds to news as to why women driving is forbidden. “Lorraine in the UK asks, which makes and models please?”
Hey, ladies, Curb Your Enthusiasm (language is NSFW):
Hot dogs are un-Islamic, says the Malaysian Islamic Development Department (MIDD). To receive halal certification,the MIDD, a religious government body, says hot dogs must be renamed.
MIDD’s Sirajuddin Suhaimee explains says: “In Islam, dogs are considered unclean and the name cannot be related to halal certification.”
Yes, but the hot dog contains no dogs, it being most often a composite blend of pigs’s scrotum, anus and lips.
“Malaysian halal food guidelines say halal food and halal artificial flavour shall not be named or synonymously named after non-halal products such as ham, bak kut teh, bacon, beer, rum and others that might create confusion,” he adds.
The Auntie Anne store has been refused halal certification unless it renamed its “Pretzel Dog”. Mr Suhaimee says it should be called a Pretzel Sausage”.
And in keeping with Islamic law, Auntie Anne might care to ‘circumcise’ the tip of its Fat Torpedo:
Other Parents spots this story from Florida. When Chelsea Wilson, 24, was arrested in connection with a bank robbery in Fort Lauderdale, she told the teller: “You have exactly one minute to give me all your $50 & $100 bills from both your drawers or I will shoot you! No dye packs, no alarms follow these instructions and no one will get hurt, act normal.”
Wilson then walked off with $300 in cash and got into a waiting car -a vehicle registered to Wilson’s father, who was in the driver’s seat.
“I drove her to a job interview and waited for her to return,” said dad. “I thought the cash was advance payment for her job.”
Wilson has admitted to robbing the TD Bank branch and the three other banks, presumably in her role as security assessor.
Here of the day is Ben Duke, who saved a dog’s life when its leads got trapped in an elevator. “I happened to walk out at the right time and save the dogs life,” says Ben, general manager at The Roadway Inn in Greenville, South Carolina.
“The doors closed, and I guess he didn’t realise that his dog had wandered off,” Ben adds. “I just grabbed the lead, and struggled with it, then I guess adrenaline set in or something, and I snapped the leash right above my hand. The dog was scared, and fought me pretty hard. In fact, he scratched me pretty good on my face. I don’t blame him. It was pretty scary.
“The owner was crying and was so grateful. He just came up and hugged me. It was pretty crazy. I was just reacting and doing what I was supposed to do in that situation. People are calling me a hero, but I can’t imagine the other outcome. I just did what you are supposed to do in this situation.”
Boo Boo the dog is fine.
The message to parents with children at St Dunstan’s school, Glastonbury, Somerset, is clear: state your ‘cunt’ of birth:
The school says the word ‘cunty’ is a typo and not a comment on nationality. The letters ‘O’ and ‘R’ were not included in error.
“It became a problem when the tail grew outside the body,” said the 14-year-old boy’s mother, who doesn’t want to be named.
“He would just lift the [8-inch] tail every time he needed to change his clothes. I could see that it was very annoying and painful for him, so I took him to a hospital.” Doctors say the teenager might have developed the tail in the womb as a result of a spinal deformity, but that it appeared outside only after he grew up.
“When the size of the tail grew… [it] began to press on the boy’s back,” says surgeon, Dr Pramod Giri. “It was cosmetically and psychologically disturbing for him.”
Do you dress to the left or to the right, sir?
To Florida, where Nicholas Melice, Sr., 46, is rowing with his son, Nicholas Jr., 19.
Mr. Melice Sr. (above) wants to throw away Mr. Melice Jr.’s Lego.
It gets heated. Police are called.
“Both Mr. Melice and Mr. Melice Jr. advised they wished to pursue criminal charges,” reported an officer who added that he was unable to determine the scrape’s “primary aggressor”.
The Melices were arrested.
We can all debate the merits of a 19-year-old being so attached to their Lego – and the young master’s haircut, which seems to be modelled on one of his toys.
It’s ok. That hair most likely pulls off and can be replaced easily.
Emma Phillips, Wallasey, Wirral, is the trainee teacher who got a large dildo stuck in her anus (?). This is no secret. Emma has not been exposed or outed in some way. She wants to tell us all about her “embarrassing” accident because it is a “taboo” we need to be warned about.
She’s told her story to Mercury Press, who have sold it to the Daily Mirror. How you prove the story of the vanishing viby is a moot point. Emma just wants to tell us about it. And we are all ears.
And no giggling as “Emma offers a thumbs up from her hospital bed”. Let’s hope she washes it first and removed any false fingernails.
One day her child will get to read about the tale of “Mum-of-one Emma Phillips”, her partner Lee Miller, 29, and the the 7 inch sex toy that “disappeared”.
When she leaned forward she could feel it vibrating inside her bottom wedged behind her hip.
Lee tried to extract the toy with a fork handle and BBQ prongs before calling for an ambulance.
In Wrexham hospital Emma underwent the “minute-and-a-half surgery which involved placing a camera down her throat and the surgeon pressing on her stomach before manually extracting i”.
And “Doctors offered her the toy as a keepsake but she decline”.
Next week: I got a BBQ stuck inside my vagina.
To Kentucky, where Jonathan Martin, 20, has been arrested and charged with wearing a mask in a public place and disorderly conduct. Martin’s crime was to dress up as a clown. Police found him at 1:00am dressed in “full clown costume” crouching among trees.
The local news says, “Recent reports of clowns trying to lure children into woods have sparked alarm.”
On a list of things likely to seduce a child, dressing up as scary clown is one below a plate of raw broccoli.
“Dressing as a clown and driving, walking or standing in public can create a dangerous situation for you and others,” says Kentucky, police. “While dressing up is not, in and of itself against the law, doing so in public and thereby creating an unnecessary sense of alarm is illegal.”
In today’s Other Parents news we go Linzi Marie Cake Supplies and Confectionary in Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, where a family are robbing the place. The man is putting chocolate bars in his pockets. the woman is stuffing confectionary down her top. The two kids are ‘browsing’.
When the store posted CCTV footage of the felons’ family day out nicking on Facebook, the father figure returned, “gave a lot of excuses” and paid.
Bedfordshire police are investigating.