Napoleon’s Penis And Other Famous Offcuts
ANY takers for Napoleon’s penis?
As reported, John K Lattimer, the owner of Napoleon’s penis has died.
In his pomp, Lattimer, of Englewood, N.J., had been employed as chairman of urology at the Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons.
And he leaves behind not only the penis of the great French leader, with the acute short-man syndrome, but other artifacts that anyone would be proud to place on the mantlepiece. Lattimer possessed Lincoln’s blood-stained collar and Hermann Göring’s cyanide ampoule.
But it is Napoleon’s little coup d’etat that holds pride of place in the collection.
The penis is said to have been removed from the greater Napoleon by a priest named Vignali, who administered last rites to the exiled French emperor. One Francesco Antommarchi is said to have removed Napoleon’s heart and stomach.
Now Lattimer is departed, believed intact, we wonder what should become of the great French member.
It has been on display before. When A.S.W. Rosenbach owned it, it was placed on a bed of blue morocco and velvet at the Museum of French Art in New York. Reports are that it resembled “something looking like a maltreated strip of buckskin shoelace or shriveled eel”. For people who wonder, the organ has also been described “one inch long and resembling a grape”.
While not as extensive as the 30-centimeter preserved penis of Grigory Rasputin, displayed at the Russian museum of erotica in St. Petersburg, Napoleon’s penis knew a rare power.
Other famous people who moved from life to the pickling jar are:
John Wilkes’ Booth - see the man who killed President Abraham Lincoln Booth’s spinal column at the National Museum of Health and Medicine in Washington, D.C.
Albert Einstein’s - Bits of Brain at Princeton Hospital
Saint Francis Xavier - The Spanish missionary can be seen in Cochin, India (half of left hand), Malacca, Malaysia (other half of left hand), Rome (arm), pix ‘n ‘ mix (Goa, india)
Saint Catherine of Siena - Expeicne the wonder of the woman’s head and finger (San Domenico Church in Siena, Italy)
Oliver Cromwell - Hanged after death, the revolutionary’s head was seasoned on a pike in Westminster for some years and then sold to Josiah Henry Wilkinson, and buried in 1960.
Jermey Bentham - After his death, the philosopher and jurist was preserved. His ‘Auto-Icon’ sits in a wooden cabinet, at the end of the South Cloisters of the main building of Univerity College London.
So what next for Napoleon’s penis. Shoud it be put on display? Become the inspiration for a new martial aid sold in sex shops around the Pigalle, Paris?
And should all those offcuts from the celebrity set be retrieved and pickled in a museum high in the Hollywood Hills?
Answers on a severed flaps of skin to the to Joan Rivers Contest, c/o Anorak Towers…

May 18th, 2007 at 4:46 am
Don’t laugh - maybe Napoleon’s half-inch penis represents the best France could “muster-up”. Rasputin’s penis is a monster in comparison, and is exposed in a display in Russia.
The Penis Museum in Iceland has already been given a large one, named Elmo - complete with family jewels and bag by a well-endowed American. His package is being plastinated so shrinkage should be minimized, while retaining all the familiar features you come to recognize. Trumps the French as well as the Czar’s household!
May 19th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
I’ll have a Napoleon with cheese
June 6th, 2007 at 11:28 am
if nobody else wants it, could i have it to put on ebay
July 4th, 2007 at 9:18 am
[...] at an auction in London. The letter is thought to be one of only three sent to Josephine by the sizeable French emperor and contains an apology by the pocket-sized military genius after an argument he had [...]
July 12th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
hi i would like his penis as i collect them
john allen