Dominatrix Offers Bear Stearns Staff Discount: Spanking The Money
MISS Victoria X is not insenstive to bankers’ needs and the dominatrix is offering Bear Steans staff a share-tracker discount:
Says she: “Inspired by the example of the generous Hamptons-based design firm which is now offering its stagings service at a discounted price to current/former/soon to be former Bear Stearns employees… I have decided to offer a discount on sessions to all current/former/soon to be former Bear Stearns employees. The discount is equivalent to the current value of a share of Bear Stearns stock. That is to say, $2.
All to the good. If you are going to shafted, it’s good to be prepared. Miss Victoria X offers:
* domestic service training (useful in preparing for future job as a janitor at Goldman Sachs)
* spanking combined with verbal chastising (”Caused!” -whack- “Sub-prime!” -whack- “Crisis!” -whack- “Very!” -whack- “Very!” -whack- “Naughty!” -whack whack whack-)
* 78 cane strokes (number chosen to represent the difference between Bear Stearns’ $80 per share book value and the actual current share price of $2)
* interrogation roleplay (I am Coughlin Stoia and you are Bear Stearns. Helpful in preparing for upcoming deposition)
* master/slave roleplay (I am JP Morgan and you are Bear Stearns. Now I own you)
Nothern Rock sado-masochists can contact Miss Victoria X on the usual number…
