Man Admits Having Sex With Picnic Table
ART Price Junior has confessed to repeatedly having sex with a picnic table.
It was more of an affair than a one lunchtime stand with Price romancing the table between January and March of this year.
Police in Bellevue, Ohio, were alerted to the coupling after someone anonymously taped one of the incidents then gave the tape to police.
More interestingly, according to police, Price admits that he had sex with the picnic table both inside and outside his home.
He took the tables out on dates, for some al fresco loving. It was most likely that the table wanted to go. Had it been a stay-at-home snooker table the affair would have remained secret, and, given the pockets, more understandable. But picnic tables love the thrill of the wind in their slats, the sun on their struts.
How you have sex with a picnic table is not delved into, nor if the table was made of wood or a pliable plastic
Mr Price is free on a $20,000 bond. And free for lunch…
Posted: 30th, March 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Strange But True Comments (12) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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July 15th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
I think he’s part of a splinter group…..
July 15th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Picnics are simply fun. In this economy, people are always looking to save money on family activities. Picnics are great way to have a staycation.. Not to mention, that kids love to be outdoors all the time. It’s a perfect combination. Hey, grab your *picnic baskets* and be delighted
*edited
April 1st, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Wonder if his wife was getting in the way and he said “Oh honey, could you please get off the picnic table, I need to finish something and you are in the way!”
April 1st, 2008 at 6:11 pm
I hope the table was over 18 years old or he could face under age sex charges.
M and A
Welcome home twilight
March 31st, 2008 at 3:12 am
This is what happens when you take money out of the education system. I wonder if he “modded” the table for his … umm … pleasure
March 30th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
He admitted having sex with the picnic table both inside and outside! Stange man!
He should know : Kitchen table in the kitchen, dinner table in the dining-room, desk in the office, altar at church, timetable on a train, nest of tables in the sittingroom, turningtable at midnight, and picnic table on a picnic.
March 30th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Two legs good, four legs better
March 30th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
The expression “table tennis enthusiasts” on the right, above the “Subscribe” button, gets a quite interesting new meaning.
March 30th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Yogi and Boo Boo and their picnic baskets take on a whole new sinister meaning.
March 30th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
oh shady stuff
March 30th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
The umbrella was put out
March 30th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Do we think the chairs/benches got a bit jealous and reported him?