RIP To Shreds: The Best Obituary Ever
DOLARES Aguilar has passed away. This, her obituary, appeares in the Times-Herald Napa/Sonoma paper:
Full text:
Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.
She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.
Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.
Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.
There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.
Brings a tear…
August 18th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Wonder what gate Raymond, Paul Jr. and Ruby met her at or pushed her through!
August 18th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Well they didn’t speak ill of the dead, but got their point across - shall remember it when two of our oldies finally bugger off, I mean pass on
August 18th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
Congratulations to the family!
August 19th, 2008 at 1:38 am
It’s nicer than the obit my Dad’s going to get.
And he wrote it.
August 19th, 2008 at 8:52 am
Well, one thing no-one can accuse the family of is hypocrisy!
August 19th, 2008 at 11:06 am
All my sympathy goes to the Aguilars. I like their realistic, though subdued style.
Just a warning though : even dead and gone, the really venenous ones still poison the family.
August 19th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Many years ago I had a summer job delivering telegrams for the post office in Australia. A couple days before Christmas we got an urgent telegram to deliver which was from a daughter to her father wishing him the most awful Xmas possible and saying he had made her and her sisters lives a barely tolerable misery and that neither of them had got, or expected to get, much enjoyment out of life as a result.
When I went to deliver the telegram I was rather disappointed because I wanted to get a look at him, but he was out and I had to just leave a not saying he had to collect a telegram from the PO.