Ejaculating To Prevent Nasal Congestion In Males
GROWING news from the Journal of Medical Hypotheses - ejaculating could be “a potential treatment of nasal congestion in mature males”.
With the cold and flu season upon us, males are now well-equipped to go forth with no fear of embarrassment caused by nasal decongestion. No longer will you be misunderstood when ordering train tickets and calling for Malcolm.
Just wipe, or blow, and go. And, no, you don’t have to snort the stuff, unless you want to.
A build up of snot can be relieved by fumbling in your trousers pockets (and Anorak advocates the ComfiSlax). You may then enunciate in a clear tone: “Yes, officer, I am he.”
A Dr Zarrintan says in clear and loud voice:
“The emission phase of ejaculation is under the control of the sympathetic nervous system… ejaculation will stimulate adrenergic receptors… and stimulation of your adrenergic receptors will give you relief from your cold.”
Relief all around. Pass the man-sized tissues…
Police Long: Crime Is In The Jeans
Police Log: Shooting From The Hipsters For A Man’s Jeans
Man Shoplifts Power Tool Down Trousers
Posted: 4th, October 2008 | In: Strange But True Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
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October 6th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
better out than in, eh? just wouldn’t want to be the one standing next to the bloke sneezing on the tube….
I would certainly be out of my cumfort zone….
October 5th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
I’m sorry to hear you are taking tomorrow off, Firestar…
October 5th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
i can just see the ads, one bloke at home with a red nose saying ‘by doze is blocked up so i can’t go to work today’ followed by cut to some happy bloke breathing in deeply through his nose while he walks into the typing pool having a wank.
think i’ll try that tomorrow.
October 4th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
I am a blowhard on both sides meercat.
[Happy belated by the way. I didn't chip in earlier with that 'cause I hadn't spoken to you yet, and it seemed like effrontery on my part - like when call centres insist on only using your first name. Many happy returns for ages ago]
October 4th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Well if they didn’t it’s a contender for the ‘Missed Marketing Opportunity of the Decade…
October 4th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Did Kleenex sponsor this research?
October 4th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Just find someone to blow hard on both sides magnetite
October 4th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
A firsh clarsh weturn do Dottingham…… pleasE!!!
October 4th, 2008 at 10:46 am
I’d rather have a head cold than zinc deficiency and the health problems related to it. Does the good doctor say how often one has to self-administer this treatment?
Also when you call work to say you’ll be taking a few days off, the HR department will be able to say:
“Don’t take a sickie, play with your (6 letters. First name of Davies, World of Sport presenter)
…and that’s just not cricket.
October 4th, 2008 at 10:30 am
A seminal piece of research by Dr Zarrintan