50p cheaper than the Daily Mail and 50 times more fun
Wind Turbines Promote Global Cooling
There was [sic] huge lumps of ice shooting off and landing everywhere
Slapland: Dorset Santa Attacked In Great War On Christmas
You f*** you callin’ a ho, muvverf****r?
Irish Judge Stops Drink Drive Trial For Urine Steam Inhalation
When he is urinating, he is inhaling vapourised alcohol and there's always steam off it
Saudi Cleric Calls For One-Eyed Veil
IN SAUDI Arabia, the girls are making eyes at the boys:
A Muslim cleric in Saudi Arabia has called on women to wear a full veil, or niqab, that reveals only one eye.
Sheikh Muhammad al-Habadan said showing both eyes encouraged women to use eye make-up to look seductive…
Bedroom eyes…
Posted: 4th, October 2008 | In: Strange But True, Twitterings, War On Terror | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Comments
October 4th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Whereas only one visible eye deters them from using mascara because they’d poke the wand in it…
October 4th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
I can relate to that but would suggest to cover the entire face, both eyes, and use high-tech glasses with mini screen connected to a tiny camera sitting on the side of the woman’s head. This way overweight Saudi clerics don’t get too excited. Of course, another option would be to simply give Sheikh Muhammad al-Habadan a guide dog and a stick, donate his eyes to charity and let him enjoy a no-make up-world.
October 4th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Better to cover both eyes and provide the girls with video cameras, GPS systems and goggles showing the video image. It’s the future I tell yas.
October 4th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Well, I hate to break the news but on the rare occasions that I’ve managed to grapple successfully with a burkha wearer -in the Selfriges sales, usually,-they’ve been so tooled up with jewellery that there wouldn’t be space for the electronics.
Back to the drawing board, chaps…
October 4th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
I didn’t know it was possible to grapple successfully with burkha-wearers - their concealed stockless AK-47 always kept them safe from unwanted attention by moi.
October 4th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Joe, it seems we think alike. Care to share good ways to chat up girls without needing to make eye contact?
October 4th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Jack, this may be because you don’t spend much time at the Selfriges sales; they are pretty hairy events.
Many’s the time I’ve had a promising garment ripped from my hands without so much as a ‘let go of that or my bodyguard will kill you’ from a black tent standing next to me…
October 4th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Sometimes I would tease them and say “Get yer cheeks out for the lads”, but that didn’t go down too well (some people’s sense of humour, eh?). Best have your Challenger II tank parked outside the store to ensure of a quick escape - though if they have an RPG-7 handy….
October 4th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
I use the old stand by; often imitated, never equalled, Heckler and Koch.
Of course, for the Harrods sale you do have to upgrade a bit…
October 4th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Saudi wimmin aren’t allowed to carry a Koch - the government fears it could spread immorality. They tried Super Soakers filled with nitroglycerine for a while, then switched to bows and arrows.
October 4th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
“I am not amyoozd, Jack…not amyoozd at awl….”
http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c274/fire75034/071015_sod_hi.jpg
October 4th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
He should have suggested instead of an opening they have a two way mirror. So they can look out and no one can look in.
October 4th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Hey, that’s my Women’s Institute meeting; where did you get hold of the picture?
October 4th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Of course one could buy a burkha and wear it to the sales too
October 4th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Did you notice the really tall person with the camo burkha holding the camera and going “Oh yes darlings, I’m loving it! That is just *fabulous*”?
October 4th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
That’s just what I do June! Allows me to eye up my next Sarah Palin-esque conquest/victim without them batting an eyelid.
October 4th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
You mean that was you, Jack?
You swine; you promised me you’d tell me where you got the camo from…
October 4th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
These find young ladies let be borrow it from them…
http://rachelpapo.com/images/serial/serial1.jpg
However, there was a price…
October 4th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
And I am sure that, as a cross-dressing camo burqua wearer of honour, you paid it to the full…
October 4th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Indeed I did pay the heavy price, which was washing their underwear while they went for shooting practice. Utter hell. But I got through it and gained their respect, and their phone numbers.
October 4th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
You don’t happen to have a fishing rod, do you?
October 4th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Sorry..too busy eyeing up my future ex-imaginary-wife
http://rachelpapo.com/images/serial/serial15.jpg
October 4th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Simple answer. Reverse the burkha so that the slot is at the rear…
“So Khemal, how did you and your wife meet?”
“We bumped into each other in the street. Well, she knocked me flying to be honest, but after I’d sprang to my feet, spun her around and gazed into the beautiful back of her head - I knew she was the one for me.”
October 5th, 2008 at 1:13 am
Er, I think I may have found Jack, our cross-dressing camo burqua wearer.
You know the way it is; your’e counting sheep by the googleplex, and yet the blessed zzzzs don’t arrive, so you do all the stuff they tell you to, and that doesn’t work either, so you wake up the laptop thinking a few minutes should be enough to get you up the wooden hills to bedfordshire, and the next think you know you are looking at a picture which calls to you.
It not only calls to me, it says ‘look at me’, and here it is:
http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Observer/Pix/pictures/2008/10/02/womcov460×276.jpg
So, Jack, well done. Remind me to have a discussion about waxing with you sometime. Preferably after I’ve got some sleep…
October 6th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Sleep? I believe that was something people did in the 20th century, before the invention of 24-hour news and the internet. Personally I haven’t slept for over 5 years, but a great thing about the zero-eyed burkha is that you can nod off during Wimmin’s Institute meetings without anything noticing.