Fais Moi Une Pipe: Man Gets Penis Caught In Steel Muffler

SEE the steel pipe. Want to know what it feels like? Want to… Whoah! Hold on, Bronco…

Your 73-year-old penis has become stuck. Sadly, it is attached to your 73-year-old body.

Fire engines are scrambled.

To the Newburgh campus of St. Luke’s Cornwall Hospital shortly after 9 p.m.

The fire department has a ring cutter used to clip wedding bands from swollen fingers, but firefighters learned that wouldn’t be enough. The pipe was an inch long, an inch in diameter and made of quarter-inch-thick steel.

Shame mixed with no little pride; enough pride, perhaps, to compound the issue. The man’s penis had “swollen and turned purple”. Twas ever so.

A wizzer saw is selected.

The wizzer saw is an automotive tool, powered with air bottles and adopted by emergency responders who frequently deal with car crashes. Firefighters use it more commonly to saw off mufflers.

Mufflers… Thoughts of rainy days in Bridlington and Cliff Richard on a sun lounger… Muffler. Sleet and snow battering the windscreen on a fogged up Ford Capri. Muffler…

A “lubricated tongue depressor between the pipe and the man’s penis to protect him. A doctor, nurses and a paramedic gathered in the Emergency Room as a firefighter… prepared to begin the operation.”

“Just don’t cut it off,” says out OAP.

For 90 minutes (think the Poseidon Adventure, but more so) “the firefighter sawed bit by bit into the pipe, pausing occasionally to cool the saw”.

The wizzer saw emptied the first bottle of air and then a second. Finally, after five air bottles, the saw clipped through the final bit of pipe, and they were able to free the man. He was apparently unharmed by the operation.

Muffler… Or exhaust pipe, as our man may call it…

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Anorak

Posted: 27th, October 2008 | In: Strange But True Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink