Cello Scrotum, Guitar Nipple And Kazoo Tongue
DO you suffer from cello scrotum? Elaine Murphy - now Baroness Murphy – wrote about the painful condition in a report to the British Medical Journal.
Well, you don’t have it. Says she:
“We thought it highly likely to be a spoof, and decided to go one further by submitting a similar phenomenon in cellists, ” writes Murphy in the aforesaid organ, having made reference to “guitar nipple”.
“Anyone who has ever watched a cello being played would realise the physical impossibility of our claim. Somewhat to our astonishment, the letter was published.”
The missive was signed not by Baroness Murphy, once a professor at Guy’s and St Thomas’ Hospital in London, rather by her bow-legged husband John, now chairman of a Suffolk brewery.
Says he:
“We did, actually, get a letter from another doctor at the time pointing out how unlikely it was. We may have to organise a formal retraction or correction now. Once these things get into the scientific literature, they stay there for good. But it all adds to the gaiety of life.”
Anorak now wonders if other medial conditions are also fabrications devised to secure research grants and if the “Kazoo Tongue” which cut shot Old Mr Anorak’s musical career is psychosomatic?
Posted: 28th, January 2009 | In: Strange But True Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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January 29th, 2009 at 2:00 am
Don Rechtman,
that is histerical, but i think i much identify with your pain!
i suffer a similar problem with concentration, but related to too much recorder and violin practice, i dont even think it has a name! (maybe we should try and set up a support group!) x
January 28th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
you mean you can do your smalls in a Beetle as well…???
January 28th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Dairy, Its a well know fact that Eva Braun, Hitler’s missus, suffered so much from VBS from vibration after several years testing of the Volkswaschmaschine, that Hitler reclassified it as the Volswagen and thus a legend was born
January 28th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
For years I’ve suffered from “Composer’s Forehead,” a bothersome albiet benign syndrome caused by too much concentration on the arranging of orchestral works. The problem was perhaps understood before its time by the sculptor Rodin, who physically documented the related syndrome “Thinker’s Chin.”
January 28th, 2009 at 11:59 am
ooh that’s harsh, Yampster!!! for info, it also affects bikers, particularly Harley Davidson riders, as the machines produce quite a lot of vibration when moving….
January 28th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Having said all that there is a version of ‘Vibration White Finger’ (VBS) which affects drummers in beat combos. VBS was first discovered in Coal Miners who use heavy hand held drilling machinery for hours on end. Although the condition was well known for years it did not become serious in the UK until the pits closed down and compensation set in. It was thought that Keith Moon’s severe VBS caused his inability to steer Rolls Royce Silver Clouds effectively anywhere near a swimming pool.