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Man Driven To Cocaine When Lover Forgets Gravy

TO Bristol Magistrates’ Court, where reformed drug addict Paul Dibble tells The Beak that he turned to crack cocaine because his girlfriend didn’t make any gravy for their Sunday roast dinner.

Old Mr Anorak believes that, if true, this woman should be sent far from this place to Australia or somewhere equally hideous and made to understand the error of her ways. Your editor just wonders if crack can be liquefied and how much an entuire gravy boat of it would cost?

Paul Dibble, 30 of Galway Road, Knowle, then went on to steal 44 chocolate bars to sell for drugs, Bristol Magistrates’ Court heard yesterday. The thief pleaded guilty to stealing confectionery worth £52.60 from Tesco on May 4.

The Beak rules:

Magistrates gave him a conditional discharge and ordered he pay £60 in prosecution costs.

Says Sam Stevens, defending:

“He has been out of trouble for quite a while by his standards. He has been using heroin for 15 years, since he was 15-years-old.

“He received a prison sentence towards the end of 2007 but two days after his release he was remanded in custody for an offence he hadn’t committed. It took five months in custody to find out he was innocent.

“When he came out he was clean from heroin and has been clean ever since.

“His girlfriend was a cooking a Sunday roast and she committed the cardinal sin of not putting any gravy on it. That prompted an argument and she asked him to leave.

“A friend of his had a problem with crack cocaine, and he took it while feeling at a low ebb.

“The good news is he’s back on track. He’s clean and is back with his girlfriend.”