Strange But True Category
Weird, offbeat and bizarre news from around the world. Funny, strange & odd news stories that make you wince, laugh and fear for humanity.
VALENTINE’S Day can be great, can be sickly, can be filled with people simply booing the idea of anyone proclaiming any kind of love. It’s the same every year.
However, sometimes, love makes people do thoroughly repulsive things. Suffice to say, this article features an image that isn’t so much NSFW, but rather, Not Safe For Eyes Or Anyone With A Working Memory.
Here we go.
One lady discovered that her boyfriend was cheating on her, which is unpleasant. But it happens. However, this woman had a tattoo with her fella’s name on it.
So what did she do?
She picked up a knife and CUT OFF the tattoo, wrapped it up in a bow and sent it to her ex as a REALLY QUITE HORRIBLE gift. Jesus Christ Almighty.
“I LOVE Jesus,” declared the man smashing in the window on an LAPD patrol car parked in Hollywood. He then steals the laptop inside. Not too far away a man dressed as Darth Vader looks on.
TO Plymouth, Devon, where Ann Duffy, of Plymouth, is in the dock. The court hears that Duffy cancelled her brother’ wedding because she did not like his choice of wife. Duffy, 50, called Plymouth Register Office pretending to be her now sister-in-law Sandra and cancelled the booking.
SHARON Lovett, of St Brelade, Jersey, says ever since the double-decker buses were introduced in 2010 people on the top deck have been peering over her garden wall to see her relaxing in the her swimming pool. She say the problem began when double decker buses were introduced in 2010. She tells the BBC:
“You see the cameras come out and you see them run to the back of the bus, to the big window so they can get a better shot. There were no vehicles that could see over the wall when we moved in. We took it into consideration because we knew the house was on a main road. We knew nothing could look over this wall. It was also only single decker buses when we moved in. Realistically one step would be to move the bus stop so it does not invade people’s privacy. It’ s double decker buses every 20 minutes seven days a week in both ways.”
GOLF is so very popular because there is always a golf sale on. It’s a bargain too good to resist for many of us who spot men holding signs advertising “GOLF SALE’ and a large arrow pointing towards a shop. Derek Poe hoped the approach would sell his guns.
BILL Passman has a tattooed outline of the world on his back. Every time he visits a country he gets that part coloured in. Most recently, he’s visited Russia. The whole land mass was inked a brownish red. But did he go to each of Russia’ 14 Republics? If Chechnya breaks away from the Motherland, as many of its population want, will Mr Passman get a flesh-coloured tattoo for that part of his back art or quickly book a trip there, lest his tattoo look out of date?
And what to make of the colours chosen? Borders move. It might be an idea for Mr Passman to opt for a first rendering in pastels, they being easier to cover over with a deeper colour should things change. Countries least likely to be invaded would be in darker hues; less secure ones marked in a lighter colour. Ominously, Russia is a deeper hue than Canada. The United Kingdom is the same light pinky shade as Bolivia, Zambia and the Democratic Republic of Congo. That might be symbol of how far the country has slipped in the world order.
Once upon a time, much of the world was the deep red of British Empire. In his book All the Countries We’ve Ever Invaded: And the Few We Never Got Round To, Stuart Laycock notes that Great Britain has invaded 90% of the world’s other nations. Only 22 countries have not been colonised or invaded by the British. He explains:
“Other countries could write similar books – but they would be much shorter. I don’t think anyone could match this, although the Americans had a later start and have been working hard on it in the twentieth century.”
The country most often invaded by Britain is France. On Mr Pessman’s back, France is purple, far deeper on the colour charts than GB. It bodes badly.
Of course, we might be reading too much into Mr Pressman’s tattoos. But they are conversation stater, and others will surely do likewise.
LOCAL News: Swansea’s Pam Hopkins is “still wearing the same cardigan after 54 years – and she says it’s never lost a button”.
She beats the previous records:
PHIL Conran looked out of a window from his home, in Main Road, Walter’s Ash, High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, after a 30ft-deep sinkhole opened up in the driveway yesterday and swallowed his car. Read the rest of this entry »
Read the rest of this entry »
IS Nothing Safe – issue 439c: a thief has been caught attempting coitus with a shop mannequin at a retail park in Brazil. The doll fancier was arrested when he returned to the mall, perhaps to see if he could arrange a second date before his big night out with Jordan.
(Of course, the latest mannequins looks more like actual women than many Page 3 versions of them.)
TO Grimsby and Cleethorpes in north east Lincolnshire, where the hunt is on for the Pizza Bandit, who lurks in takeaways listening to phone orders before delivering empty boxes and pocketing the cash.
Hollie Belton, 27, of Grimsby, had ordered tow large chicken kebabs from Verona’s Pizzeria in Cleethorpes. A man arrived at her door. she paid him the £12. He then drove off in a yellow T-reg Ford Ka. She opened the box to find it empty.
“WE are influenced by the beauty of Eiffel Tower, we are not content to just add something to the nose, we reconstruct it,” says surgeon Wang Xuming.
BILL Standley of Mechanicsburg, Ohio, has died. He was 84. He’s been laid to rest in a plexiglass / wood coffin while “riding” his 1967 Harley-Davidson motorcycle. He is , for safety’s sake, wearing a leather jacket, boots and helmet.
The Columbus Dispatch notes:
It was a funeral he started planning 18 years ago, well before he could have known about the lung cancer that killed him on Sunday at age 84. This was his dream,” said one of his daughters, Dorothy Brown. “He was a one-of-a-kind.”
“If you stopped by his house, he showed you his casket,” says his son Roy Standley to the Dayton Daily News. ”He was proud of it.”
Five embalmers prepared his body and secured him with a metal back brace and straps to ensure he’d never lose his seat on his beloved bike, even as it was towed by a trailer to his final resting place. The casket was assembled in the garage of Vernon’s’ funeral home in Mechanicsburg, enshrining him with his trophies and well-worn leathers.
WHAT does it say in the card you received? Something about roses being red, honey sweet, or is there a teddy holding a simple heart on a red balloon?
At a Hallmark card shop in Philadelphia, a man is showing the cashier his card. The message inside reads:
“Give me all the money or I will kill you.”
To Brianza, a province in northern Italy, where a man has been arrested for adopting cats from a refuge centre and eating them. The man is no heathen: he first skinned and cooked the cats. He asked for ”black cats with specific characteristics. They had to be around three years old, and quite plump.”
RANEA Crabtree of Pataskala, Ohio, is a keen follower of nominative determinism, the idea that your surname can shape your destiny.
Ranea is not her actual first name. It’s not the one her parents gave her. They called her Sheila. She says: “I absolutely hate it. I think it’s really ugly.”
You can’t chose your parents, but you can choose your name. So. She uses her middle name. Sheila became Ranea.
THE People report on “Caring Samantha Lamb”, 41, of Ivybridge, Devon, who gave one of her kidney’s to ailing husband Andy, 45. The People says it saved his life. She says after the transplant he had an affair. He says he didn’t. She wants her kidney back. You could deduce that she wants him dead.
Says the mum-of-one: “I can’t believe he now has a second chance to live to see his grandchildren grow up. I would definitely go through the operation again – but I wouldn’t give the kidney to him. I hate him. If I could I’d take it back and give it someone else. Obviously I don’t want people to be put off putting their names on the organ donor list. But all I want from him is his name on the divorce papers.”
IS James Herbert writing the news? After the mutant rats beware of the Cannibal Rats. The vermin are aboard the Lyubov Orlova, an old cruise liner adrift in the North Atlantic.
The boat, constructed in the former Yugoslavia in 1976, has been without a human crew since its owners abandoned it in Canada over unpaid harbour fees. Plans to take the ship to the Dominican Republic for salvage were undone by a terrible storm that cast the Lyuov Orlova loose. The vessel moved from Canadian waters into the North Atlantic. The only life on board – so they say – are rats.
Hundreds of rats.
EVER looked at the world and become suddenly depressed? You realise that everything ugly you see, is man-made. So, your attentions turn to nature, where everything is beautiful. And vicious. And cruel. And bloody.
In a bid to couple the two worlds, some weirdos have decided to make models – which you can buy – of unborn babies. That’s right. You can now pay money for something that still lives inside a woman you know.
“I WAS looking at a very nice topless girl and I forgot what I was there for and next thing my legs were completely smashed,” says Dimitri Moskovich, a 48-year-old Russian bodybuilder who fell whilst climbing a rope at Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia.
“I’ve done it for many years in the same spot; it was a pure accident once out of a hundred thousand climbs. The moment I looked – I’m a professional – I knew straight away I had no spine problems, but then I looked at my legs and I knew I was f*cked,”
TRUE fact: The 8th richest man in the world is called Ka-Shing. Excellent nominative determinism:
BRANDENBURG Germany is enticing tourists with a calendar featuring a photo of an expansive cottage. It turns out that this holiday home once belonged to Hermann Goering, the German politician. The German federal Government is aghast, ordering the calendar to be pulped. You won’t get to look at Himmler’s en-suite (March) or Martin Bormann’s spare room (also March. In fact, it’s all March.)