Anorak

Strange But True | Anorak - Part 44

Strange But True Category

Weird, offbeat and bizarre news from around the world. Funny, strange & odd news stories that make you wince, laugh and fear for humanity.

Sheffield Man With Fire Extinguisher Hose Up His Bum Racially Abused Staff At London Premier Inn

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TO the Premier Inn on London’s Leicester Square, where CCTV records a man emerging from a storage cupboard with a fire extinguisher hose up his bottom. He is pleasuring himself. He then urinates on the carpets. A hotel worker arrives. He is carrying a towel. This worker is Bangladeshi. He wraps the man in the towel. Police are called.

Wind the clock forward and Joseph Small, 20, is in the dock at Westminster magistrates’ court. The court hears that he told the hotel worker: ‘This country has been taken over by al-Qaeda – go back to Pakistan.”

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Posted: 13th, November 2013 | In: Reviews, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Why Did A Thief Steal A Wheelchair Ramp From Liverpool’s Lime Street Station?

LimeStreet wheechair ramp thief
WHO stole a wheelchair ramp from platform nine of Liverpool’s Lime Street railway station? Police want to talk with the man in the picture above.
The man hailed a cab, which drove him to a pub in New Brighton, Merseyside.

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Posted: 13th, November 2013 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Cockney Of The North: Northumberland Widow Receives ‘Brown Bread’ Letter For Dead Husband

dead man slang

 

ARE you brown bread? That’s Cockney rhyming slang for “dead”. Sheila Delhoy spotted the phrase on a letter sent to her husband Ken who died in February 2008. In 2010, Northumberland-based building suppliers Wack wrote to “Brown Bread” Ken. Now the same firm has delivered another letter to “Brown Bread”.

Says Sheila: “When my son Tony found out he rang the company straight away. He said to them ‘are you going to make this an annual thing to remind my mum her husband is dead and make her upset?’”

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Posted: 13th, November 2013 | In: Reviews, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chorley Shoplifter Had Massive Hoard Of Toilet Paper

TO Chorley, Lancashire, where, as ever things are afoot. Not a day goes by without  incident in Chorley:

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Posted: 13th, November 2013 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comments (13) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Globalisation Special: Russian Woman Offers Banana To Wild Kangaroo

YOU want a story about globalisation? Well, get a load of this one. A Russian couple out driving an imported car spotted a kangaroo and tried to feed it a banana. What odds the camera phone was made in China?


YouTube link.

Spotter

Posted: 12th, November 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Gloucester Woman Accused Of Supplying Cannabis Meditated To Shiva Nine Hours A Day

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“AS a matter of law in the case of Ashley Chouings I have directed there is insufficient evidence for a properly directed jury to convict,” said Judge Alastair McGrigor  at Gloucester Crown Court: “You will be directed to find him not guilty.”

In the dock were Katarzyna Dryden-Chouen and her husband Clive, of Litteldean. He told the court:

“I cultivate cannabis, I keep cannabis, I smoke cannabis, I enjoy cannabis – but I do not sell cannabis. I am not a cannabis dealer. I have cultivated enough for me to smoke, for my wife to smoke and for my wife to use for her religious sacraments. We produce more than we smoke so there is quite a lot of it in the house. I do not sell the excess.”

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Posted: 12th, November 2013 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Blackpool Man Makes Life Vest For Non-Swimming Goldfish

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Posted: 11th, November 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Llanelli Hunts For The Bar Luna Mooners

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AT Bar Luna, Llanelli, a woman sat astride a male who has his genitals exposed.

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Posted: 11th, November 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Pyotr Pavlensky Nails Testicles To Pavement In Moscow’s Red Square

tecticles man

 

PSST Want to see Pyotr Pavlensky nailing his testicles to the cobbles of Moscow’s Red Square?

 

Why did he do it? Because he wanted to highlight Russia’s descent into a “police state”. The 29-year-old Pavlensky has previously achieved fame by sowing his lips together in demonstration against the jailing of two members of Pussy Riot, and wrapping his body in barb wire outside a government building.

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Posted: 10th, November 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Man Who Headbutted Bracknell Bus Charged With Assault

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WHEN is bus shelter not a bus shelter? When it is the victim of an alleged “assault”.

A man has been arrested on suspicion of assault after an incident at Bracknell bus station. Courtney Buses said some services were delayed after a man allegedly headbutted a bus and a bus shelter at 1.20pm on Thursday. A Thames Valley Police spokeswoman said officers were called at 1.22pm and a man was arrested on suspicion of assault.

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Posted: 10th, November 2013 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Milton Keynes Residents Told Pavement Is Not A Pavement

reading pavement

THIS lamppost in Kelly Gardens, Oxley Park, Milton Keynes, is a lamppost. But the footpath on which it sits is not a pavement. It is a “service margin”.

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Posted: 10th, November 2013 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


US Woman Charged Swearing Fee By Towing Company Would Have Gone Free In Britain

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WHEN Mahogony Grandison , of Huntsville, Alabama had her car towed away, insults was added to injury. Instead of the $200 fee levied at her freind, wgo also had her car remove, Grandidon was $350. Her bill included a $150 charge for swearing at the towers.

She says: “I explained multiple times it was not me. I even apologized for the person who did curse them out. They were not hearing it.”

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Is wearing an offence. It’s all about the style of swearing, rather than the substance. Ever since Brendan Behan swore on Panorama in 1956, the objection to swearing in public has been eroded, although not in Alabama. In Joe Moran’s book Armchair Nation, the author recalls another magic moment on the telly:

A few years later, just after Ulster Television had begun in 1959, the man with the Sisyphean task of painting the railings on Stranmillis Embankment alongside the River Lagan in Belfast appeared live on its teatime magazine programme Roundabout. The interviewer, Ivor Mills, asked if it was ever boring painting the same railings all year round. “Of course it’s fu*king boring,” the man replied.

The channel’s managing director, Brum Henderson, waited anxiously for the inescapable tsunami of complaint to arrive at the studios. In the event, not a single viewer, even in this deeply religious region in which play swings were padlocked on Sundays, rang or wrote in.

Mrs Grandison should, of course, contest the bill, which seems hard to enforce. In 2001, Britain’s Metropolitan Police sent out a memo to staff: “The courts do not accept that police officers are caused harassment, alarm or distress by words such as ‘f**k, c***, b****cks, w****er.”

You’ll have noticed that Anorak uses little stars in place of the full words. This is because the internet is run by American companies like Google and Facebook, for whom hardcore smut and beheadings are fine but swearing is not.

‘Wood [sic] you bloody believe it?’ as Mahogony might say…

 

 

Posted: 10th, November 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Police Arrest Woman Wearing Cheeseburger As A Sandal

cheeseburger sex

THE Loganville Patch, has news of Waffle House customers:

“A couple was arrested Sunday (Nov. 3) in connection to having sex while drunk in the Waffle House parking lot in Loganville. According to the Loganville Police report, an officer saw the woman and male engaging in the sexual act in the backseat of a Dodge truck at the 4752 Atlanta Highway establishment around 1:30 a.m. The car smelled strongly of alcohol.

The officer told the couple to get dressed and show him their licenses. While the man immediately put his pants on and complied, the woman simply sat in the passenger’s seat. The officer had to tell her numerous times to put her clothes on, the report says. But when the female finally got dressed, she attempted to put a cheeseburger on her foot as if it were a sandal.”

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Posted: 9th, November 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Saudi Arabian Man Shoots Dead Woman He Mistook For A Monkey

burqa monkey
TO Saudi Arabia, a man has accidentally killed an elderly shepherdess after mistaking her for a monkey.
The 19-year-old man saw the woman breaking tree branches. A source says:
“He aimed his gun and shot. The bullet hit the woman in the chest. When the man came near her, he was shocked to find she is a woman. He rushed her to hospital but she died later. Police arrested the man, who told them he killed her by mistake, thinking she was a monkey damaging the tree.”

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Posted: 8th, November 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Teen Suspended For Wearing Girl’s Bag To School

TO Kansas, where 13-year-old eighth-grader Skylar Davis has been suspended from Anderson County Senior-Junior School for carrying a Vera Bradley handbag. Girls carrying the bag do not get rusticated. Just the boys do.
Says Skylar: “I don’t think everyone should be treated differently. Everyone should have the same privileges. It expresses myself and I think everyone else can wear it, so I wear it as well.”
Assistant Principal Don Hillard summoned Skylar to his office. Remove the bag or else, he said. Sklyar chose ‘else’.
handbag boy

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Posted: 8th, November 2013 | In: Fashion, Strange But True | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Nigerian Scammers Float Messages In Bottles Up River Thames

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NIGERIAN scammers have found a way to reach Lottery winners and recipients of General Goodboy’s largesse: messages in bottles.

Tom Fenton, from Caversham, Berkshire, spotted bottles bobbin in the River Thames. He fished them out. Inside each were notes:

“Dear Friend, I am pleased that this letter has reached you safely. I was given your name as an honourable and upright person to do business with.

“Let me introduce myself; I am Umsloppogas Adinga a barrister working in the Nigerian inheritance court and have been assigned to the estate of a Mr Bates who has left an unclaimed estate totalling £4,500,000. If left, the money would revert to the government and I want to get the money safely to a western bank account. If you will allow me to use your bank account for this purpose, I would be happy to render 10 per cent of the estate to you as a fee for helping me with this transaction.

“If you are happy to help me with this, please email me at neeeeeep@yahoo.com with your details so that we can progress this and once you have paid any fees necessary the money can be transferred to your account. May the lord bless our business arrangements. Yours faithfully, Barrister Adinga (aka Impro)”

Did these cries for help bob all the way to the River Thames from Nigeria, fighting against the currents to head upstream? Is this epic journey a sign of God’s will?

Much to debate, especially how anyone without email and internet connection can reach Barrister Adinga? We’d suggest cramming fistfuls of cash into the toilet and hitting the flush. With a following wind and luck. he’ll get the messages he so richly deserves…

Posted: 7th, November 2013 | In: Money, Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sleepy Driver Crashes Into Bed Shop

A SLEEPY driver crashed into Sleep Experts mattress store in Dallas, Texas. The female driver she fell asleep on the way home.

She was not hurt.

sleep expert

 

Posted: 7th, November 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Liberation Wrapper Means Japanese Women With Small Mouths Can Eat Burgers Without Shame

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USELESS Products For Women introduces the Liberation Wrapper.

With this handy device, women with small mouths, or ochobo, can eat a meaty burger without disgusting everyone else.

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Posted: 6th, November 2013 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Burglar Arrested After His Mother Calls The Mobile He Dropped At Crime Scene

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TO Florida, where a phone is ringing in the kitchen at the Lake Worth house where a burglary has taken place. Police on the scene pick up the phone. The word  “Mom” is flashing.
The investigator answers. He asks the woman on the other end whose phone it is. She says it belongs to her son, Derek Codd.
But young Derek, 19, did have a phone – the one he’d stolen. Codd and Kristen Rynearson were caught in possession of numerous stolen items.

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Posted: 6th, November 2013 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Dear Ashley: A School Lunchbox Love Letter

THIS love letter was found in a box of primary school projects.

love letter primary school

Spotter: Reddit

Posted: 6th, November 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Elephant Fishes And Eats Catch (End Of Days)

ACCORDING to Sea World, elephants “consume grasses, small plants, bushes, fruit, twigs, tree bark, and roots”. San Diego Zoo says: “Elephants eat all types of vegetation, from grass and fruit to leaves and bark.” And fish. Elephants eat live fish. They they have a taste for flesh. And blood. And bone. And skin.

Q: What does an elephant eat?

A. Whatever it wants to.

End of days, readers. End of days:

Posted: 5th, November 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Dubai Court Debates Meaning Of ‘F*ck Off’ Over ‘F*ck You’

 

 

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“MY client is a Canadian citizen and f*ck off is not an insult in Canada… but f*ck you is a curse and an insult. F*ck off is commonly used when a person expresses themselves metaphorically and asks another person, who angered them, to walk away,” says Uday Al Kazwini of Dar Al Balagh Advocates and Legal Consultants. He’s representing a 43-year-old Canadian before the Dubai Misdemeanour Court.

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Posted: 5th, November 2013 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


How Much Would You Buy Someone’s Virginity For? Shatuniha Is Asking £17,000 (Photos)

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VIRGINITY. A weird notion. A name given to something you haven’t done yet. Imagine if everything we hadn’t done had a special word. Is there a designated word for someone who hasn’t tried pickled onion Monster Munch yet? There should be because, when it comes down to it, someone’s virginity and pickled onion Monster Munch are about as important as each other (although the latter has more sustained and dependable pleasures).

Either way, people value virginities much more highly than things you can buy from the corner shop. While snacks cost under a quid, one Russian teenager has sold her virginity online for £17,000.

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Posted: 4th, November 2013 | In: Money, Reviews, Strange But True | Comments (4) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0