Strange News, Politics, Sport, and Celebrity on the Anorak
Splash News on Michael Jackson’s death - “It’s like the FA Cup final”
NEWS from Nepal, where the country is looking for a female with a voice “as soft and clear as a duck’s”, “the body of a Banyan tree” and “the chest of a lion”.
Nepal is looking for Jordan to be its new live-in living goddess.
But what-oh? The caveat is that this creature has to be aged between 2 and 4 years old. But Anorak has calculated the birth ages of Jordan’s various body parts and noted that, on average, Jordan is 19 months old. She fits!
Posted: 16th, August 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Pitfalls Of Indoor Lawn Mowing
LAWN mowing, smoking and other indoor hazards
The full story:
Posted: 16th, August 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (21) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
BIG Foot enlivened a slow news today…
A second round of DNA testing on the remains of a 7-foot-7, 500 pound man-ape they allege to have stumbled upon while hiking in North Georgia is still being completed, they said.
Of three samples in a preliminary DNA test, one came back inconclusive, one contained traces of human DNA and one had traces of opossum DNA — probably from something the creature ate, they said.
They didn’t produce a body - that’s in a hidden location, they said. They won’t say where they found the creature and saw others. They won’t let anyone but their own hand-picked scientists examine the body, and none were present on Friday.
Still “we’re now the best Bigfoot hunters in the world,” said Matt Whitton, 31, who lives in the Atlanta suburb of Ellenwood. Whitton and his hiking buddy, 28-year-old Forest Park resident Rick Dyer, wore the promotional bigfootracker.com Web site hats to prove it.
Yessssss
Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Strange But True, Twitterings | Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Judge Saves Man’s Penis From Being Cut Off By Lover
UP before the Beak, a man pleads for his penis:
A MAN was yesterday granted a court injunction to stop a woman trying to cut off his penis.
Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Police Log, Strange But True, Twitterings | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Slightly Used Rubber Fist For Sale
FOR sale - one rubber fist. Shop soiled…
Spotter: Tom Mayhew
Posted: 14th, August 2008 | In: Money, Strange But True | Comments (14) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Big Foot Found In Time For Slow News Day
MATTHEW Whitton, a policeman from Georgia “on medical leave”, and Rick Dyer, an ex-prison warden, have found the body of Bigfoot.
They retrieved the body of the legendary beast from a remote location in northern Georgia.
Posted: 14th, August 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Woman Sells Husband’s Mistress’s Knickers On eBay
WOMAN sells husband mistress’s knickers on eBay:
A SCORNED Queensland woman is literally airing her husband’s dirty laundry on a global scale by auctioning his mistress’s knickers on eBay.
Posted: 14th, August 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
IN Japan, police have arrested a 20-year-old man who attacked and robbed two people after they stared at his Winnie-the-Pooh costume.
Masayuki Ishikawa was hanging out on a Tokyo street corner after midnight last month while wearing the cuddly costume, accompanied by two friends dressed as a mouse and a panther, when he took offence at being stared at, police said.
“It’s uncommon to see people dressed up like this, so the victims were watching them. Then the perpetrator came up and said ‘What are you staring at?’” a police spokesman said.
Ishikawa and his friends beat up the two victims and stole $160 (84 pounds) from them, the spokesman said, adding the group had apparently donned the unusual garb because they had run out of clean clothes.
I once saw a Stag do fight between Fred Flinstone and a banana…
Posted: 13th, August 2008 | In: Police Log, Strange But True, Twitterings | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Daily Mail Headline Of The Decade: French Mayor Killed By Boule
THE Daily Wail. Each days the Dail Mail searches, scouring medical reports and research notes for news, and finally its quests bears dividends:
Lourdes tourism chief killed during a ‘tense’ game of petanque after being hit on the head by metal boule
You want more?
Posted: 13th, August 2008 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Over The Counter Sex Toys In Swedish Pharmacies
SOMETHING for the weekend, sir?
Sweden is famous for breaking sexual taboos, so barely an eyebrow was raised when state-run pharmacies began to sell over-the-counter sex toys this summer, alongside the more conventional headache pills and hot water bottles.
Now the shops are being hauled before the Equal Opportunies Ombudsman, the government referee on sexual discrimination, after two men complained that the erotic toys – the bestselling are vibrators and vagina balls – discriminate against males.
The pharmacy chain, Apoteket, had a “misguided and untrue view of sexuality whereby a woman with a dildo is seen as liberated, strong and independent, while a man with a blow-up plastic vagina is viewed as disgusting and perverted”, said one of the petitioners.
… and a toothbrush….
Posted: 12th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Strange But True, Twitterings | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Paul McCarthy’s Art Is Complex Shit On The Runs
ANORAK’S Vomit In Sock is an early contender for the Turner Prize. But there is competition:
20 hectares of playground for the garden show: the farmland to the rear of the three steel hills and the entire tract of greenery from the Wyssloch Valley down to Lake Egelsee will be sprouting weird and wonderful objects to form an animated kind of front garden.
Paul McCarthy will be subverting the otherwise harmonious landscape sculpture of the Zentrum Paul Klee with his installation Complex Shit – a giant pile of dog faeces.
Oh, complex shit. Not complete shit. Silly us.
Posted: 12th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Strange But True | Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Madeleine McCann: When Portugal Attacks
IT had to happen. After months of rubbishing the Portuguese, the Star reports that an armada of “bungling”, perverted “sardine munchers” are “preparing for an attack on British shores”.
Posted: 12th, August 2008 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids | Comments (54) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Russia’s Tribute To Enemas Of The People
IN Russia they are celebrating enemas:
The world’s first monument unusually dedicated to enema treatments has been unveiled at a health center in the southern Russia’s town of Zheleznovodsk.
“As gastroenterology is the main treatment area at the Zheleznovodsk spa center, it was decided to create such a unique monument, which is both funny and vital,” said Alexander Kharchenko, the director of the center.
The 1.5 meter-high bronze sculpture, weighing 350 kilograms (771.6 pounds), portrays “three angel-like children carrying above their heads a big pear-like enema,” the center director said.
The initiative to erect the sculpture was proposed by the center’s administration, where hundreds of similar procedures are carried out every day.
The artist speaks:
“At first I was worried when I was asked to do the sculpture”, Avakova said. “But I decided to take inspiration from a classic.”
Botticelli’s Venus and Mars shows three infants stealing a weapon from the God of War as the Goddess of Love watches.
“The irony is that the little infants steal the weapons of Mars. They joke with him, with the god of war, and war is a tragedy.”
“Likewise, an enema is an unpleasant procedure as many of us may know. But when cherubs do it, it’s all right.”
Flushed with success….
Posted: 11th, August 2008 | In: Strange But True, Twitterings | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
THE extra-wide contact lens:
Anyone who’s seen Japanese comics, cartoon videos or anime art is instantly struck by the common look of the girls - big eyes that, by making the rest of the face look small, add the cuteness and sex appeal prized by many Japanese men. Since no amount of cosmetic surgery will make actual human eyes larger, some girls are trying another way to up their cute quotient: extra-wide contact lenses!
Posted: 11th, August 2008 | In: Money, Strange But True, Twitterings | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Germans Ban Kinder Eggs For Paedos
NEWS reaches Anorak that German lawmakers want to ban Kinder surprise eggs.
“Children cannot tell the difference between a toy and food,” the Welt newspaper cites Miriam Gruss from the commission as saying.
This is a sure sign on how stupid German children now are, especially the fat ones like Augustus Gloop. The time is ripe for an invasion. But there is more:
Says a spokeswoman for Ferrero, who make the device: “There is absolutely no evidence that there is an increased danger from the combination of food and toys.”
Oh no. Anorak hears that anti-paedo campaigners have long believed the combination of pocket-sized chocolate and toy a clear and present danger.
These egg-shaped lures should be banned before it is too late. We must act now!
Posted: 10th, August 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Politicians, Strange But True | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Robbie Contrane Wanted For Burglary In New Zealand
ROBBIE Coltrane is wanted for burglary offences in New Zealand:
“Robbie Coltrane is not the burglar but imagine him aged 16 with lank greasy hair and you have the picture” - Sergeant Phil Dean in Christchurch, New Zealand, explain the use of an image of Robbie Coltrane in a wanted poster.
It’s illegal to print pictures of young offenders in New Zealand.
Anorak Detectives Inc.forbids us from publishing or circulating pictures of juvenile offenders bu advises that “Noel Edmonds” is wanted for crimes against humanity, “Anthea Turner” is wanted for crimes against decency and Tony Blair is wanted for exposing himself on the top deck of the No.73 bus to Hackney Wick…
Posted: 10th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Police Log, Strange But True | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Great British Ginsters Snail Race
IN the food Olympics what food-style product would Team GB enter?
Anorak considers the alternatives and answering the criteria of higher, faster, stronger, Anorak advocates the Ginsters slice.
But fast food has a slow after taste as Simon Enticknap, from Basingstoke, Hampshire, bites into his mid-morning livener and encounters a snail.
Mr Enticknbap takes up the tale:
Posted: 10th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Food & Fat, Strange But True | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Man Freed From Sex With Metal Park Bench
AS a headline it makes us stop and stand to attention:
“Man Almost Loses Penis Humping Steel Bench.”
To Hong Kong, and a call to police that man is in difficulties.
Posted: 9th, August 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Strange But True | Comments (22) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
CREATIVE ways with junk mail.
ProQuo’s Top 10 Creative Responses To Junk Mail has lots of good ideas for meatspace spam (making venetian blinds is a particularly good one). My favorite junkmail hack is to just write DECEASED on the envelope and put it back in the mail. Top 10 Creative Responses To Junk Mail (via Craft)
Posted: 9th, August 2008 | In: Strange But True, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
A DEAD mouse as a computer mouse…
Posted: 8th, August 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Strange But True, Twitterings | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
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