Anorak

Strange But True | Anorak - Part 8

Strange But True Category

Weird, offbeat and bizarre news from around the world. Funny, strange & odd news stories that make you wince, laugh and fear for humanity.

Matador gored in the anus gives thumbs up and eyes return to the ring

When Matador Antonio Romero was impaled on a bull’s horn at a bullfight in Mexico City, we all winced. The bull’s horn went straight up Romero’s backside. News emerging from Mexico is that Matador Romero’s anus is “completely destroyed”.

 

thumbs up bullfighter anus

See you in the ring

 

Does it hurt? Only when he laughs – the Press is having no little sport with Antonio’s destroyed anus. The Mail says he’s looking forward to “getting back into the ring”. No. Not the bull. Antonio.

“BULLSEYE,” cheers the Daily Star alongside a photo of Matador Romero becoming a novelty horn ornament. “A bull sticks its horn right up matador Antonio Romero’s backside.”

But the matador’s on the mend. “I have faith and hope to feel again and show that I want to be someone important in the Fiesta Brava,” Antonio tells the Daily Star.

Right now, though, Antonio is like so many bulls bred for bullfighting: he’s well-and truly f*****.

 

Posted: 25th, March 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Man vomits as he proposes to girlfriend on private plane over Reedley, Ca.

Man vomits as he proposes to girlfriend on private plane over Reedley, Ca.

 

As he cruised the skies on the look out for a ‘MARRY ME’ sign he’d painted on the ground, Darrell Hamilton Jr reached into his bag and pulled out a ring box. To showed it to his fiancee Rheanna Lopez – and then puked all over the floor.

She said “Yes”. And the women who married my friend who shat the bed on their romantic night in France – tip: don’t have the whitebait in Le Touquet – also said ‘Yes’.

 

Posted: 15th, March 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


American Allan V. Evans of Colorado says he’s the rightful king of Britain and ready to seize power

An American called Allan V. Evans of Colorado USA has taken out a big ad in the Times to say he’s the rightful king of Britain and intends to seize power.

 

American Allan V. Evans of Colorado says he’s the rightful king of Britain and ready to seize power

 

Allan V. Evans of Colorado king of britain times advert Allan V. Evans of Colorado king of britain times advert Allan V. Evans of Colorado king of britain times advert

 

 

Posted: 1st, March 2017 | In: Broadsheets, Key Posts, Royal Family, Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Find household items lost inside your anus with the Body Orifice Security Scanner (BOSS)

Ever lose something up your nostrils, vagina, anus or other orifice? Something like a Donny Osmond poster, keepsake, drugs stash, lungfish, hacksaw, shovel, shot glass or eel?

Well, help is at hand. Beat the Boss, aka Xeku’s Body Orifice Security Scanner (BOSS), will give you a gel-free “hygienic cavity search”. Ostensibly targeted at prisoners smuggling contraband into choky, the BOSS will be a boon to sexual explorers and nudists who spend too long asking, ‘Has anyone seen the keys?”

 

Posted: 28th, February 2017 | In: Strange But True, Technology | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Bagel on a train #bagelgate

When the British enjoy a bagel, they really go all in. A bagel is not just a nice Yiddisher roll; it’s a conversation piece, play toy and agitator. Dougie Stew was there to see what happened when a woman put a bagel on her head on a British train:

 

Posted: 28th, February 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Saudi Arabia’s King packs 459 tonnes of luggage and two elevators for 9-day trip

When Saudi Arabia’s king travels to Indonesia he’ll have packed 506 tons of stuff into his bags. As well as spare knickers, travel plugs and mints, King Salman bin Abdul Aziz will travel with two Mercedes limousines and two elevators?

It’s the first time the King has visited Indonesia for 46 years. He was meant to go earlier but by the time the hand luggage was sorted and he’d found the wife he wasn’t sure if he’d packed or not, the 1980s and 1990s had come and gone.

The Washington Post looks on:

The Jakarta Post reports that the Saudi group will total about 1,500 people, including 10 ministers, 25 princes and at least 100 security personnel.

Not all of the staff will in the hold.

 

Posted: 27th, February 2017 | In: Royal Family, Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Prince Charles would smear a grey squirrel’s tampon in contraceptives

No longer content with dreaming of being Camilla’s tampon, Prince Charles has focused his senses on squirrels’ genitalia, notably those of the invasive grey strain. Charles want to reduce their numbers by giving them contraceptives and thereby increase the number of nuts and nooks for red squirrels to conquer.

The preferred method is not for condoms, pills and and workshops advocating abstinence before marriage, but a drug hidden in chocolate spread. If it work with squirrels, expect the Government to lobby Nutella and makers of supermarket own-brand gunk to do their same to pestered and hated fat people.

 

Posted: 26th, February 2017 | In: Royal Family, Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Brigitte Bardot sings for the man buried riding his Harley Davidson

The afterlife’s better with a Harley Davidson motorbike. When 84-year old Bill Standley of Mechanicsburg, Ohio, died he was buried in a plexiglass and wooden coffin sat astride his 1967 Harley-Davidson motorcycle. To complete the look, Bill wore a helmet, leather jacket and biker boots.

 

MAN BURIED RIDING HIS HARLEY-DAVIDSON MOTORCYCLE

 

The Columbus Dispatch says Standley started to plan his funeral 18 years before he breathed his last. “This was his dream,” said one of his daughters, Dorothy Brown. “He was a one-of-a-kind.”

Of course, not everyone rides their Harley to the great hereafter. You can buy a used bike here.

But just in case Bill wasn’t one of a kind and you also want to be buried with your Harley, we’d like to recommend some music to be lowered into the underground garage by. It’s Serge Gainsbourg’s Harley Davidson, as recorded by avid biker Brigitte Bardot.

 

The cover for Bardot’s ‘Harley Davidson’ hit single written by Serge Gainsbourg

 

Brigitte Bardot posing on a yellow Harley-Davidson chopper built by Maurice Combalbert.

Brigitte Bardot posing on a yellow Harley-Davidson chopper built by Maurice Combalbert.

 

The song was sung by Serge Gainsbourg, Gerard Depardieu and Johnny Hallyday on French TV in 1980. And for reasons unexplained, Serge is astride astride a BMW. Maybe his glasses are just a tad too dark.

 

 

This post is sponsored by Jennings Harley Davidson.

Posted: 23rd, February 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Police accidentally raped a man when his trousers fells down and a truncheon went up

To France, where ‘Theo’, a 22-year-old black man, claims he was raped when police inserted a truncheon in his anus. An internal police inquiry found nothing untoward. But Theo was showing severe anal injuries.

Police now says the wounding was an accident. In a video of the incident, police see a copper  ‘applying a truncheon blow horizontally across the buttocks’. Theo’s trousers ‘slipped down on their own’. As such ‘there are insufficient elements to show that this was a rape’.

But an investigating magistrate disagrees. They’ve charged one of the police officers with rape.

French President Francois Hollande has taken the time to visit Theo in hospital and Prime Minister Bernard Cazenueve says their is an official state of ‘solidarity’ with the alleged victim.

 

Posted: 10th, February 2017 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Buddhist Monkey arrested with 4.6 million methamphetamine pills, a grenade and ammunition in his car

In what officials are calling ‘not a normal case’, a Buddhist monk has been arrested in Myanmar with 4.6 million methamphetamine pills, a grenade and ammunition were found in his car.

“This is not a normal case, and when we were informed that the monk was arrested, we were all shocked,” says Kyaw Mya Win, a township police officer.

“It is not a very common case, but not impossible to happen. What will happen to the monk is that he will have to give up his monkhood right away and face trial as an ordinary person,”  adds Myanmar’s director general of the Religious Affairs Ministry, Soe Min Tun.

It’s unlikely the pills were for personal use. So was he buying the pills for his mates or selling them for other mates?

Myanmar has a history of persecuting the country’s Rohingya Muslim minority. In 2012, ‘Buddhist extremists drove tens of thousands of Rohingya out of their homes, many risked their lives to escape in smugglers’ boats; more than 100,000 others are living in squalid internment camps’.

The Strait Times reported this month:

The UN report issued on Friday said Myanmar’s security forces had committed mass killings and gang rapes of Rohingya Muslims and burned their villages since October in a campaign that “very likely” amounted to crimes against humanity and possibly ethnic cleansing.

Myanmar has said it is conducting a lawful counterinsurgency campaign.

Is the army marching on methamphetamine?

 

Posted: 7th, February 2017 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Snake gets stuck in woman’s stretched earlobe (photos)

To Oregon, where Ashley Glawe’s pet Ball Python snake, Bart, has got stuck in her stretched earlobe. Ashley playing with Bart when it began to side through her stretched earlobe.

 

snake stuck stretcher snake stuck ear

 

Unable to free herself of Bart, Ashley called the emergency service to “extract” the critter. A nick from a surgical blade, some Vaseline and Bart was free.

Spotter: Geekologie

Posted: 5th, February 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Outrage! Muslim finds pork in non halal Whitbread pub dinner

Big news on the Sun’s cover is that teetotal Muslims who eat at Brewer’s Fayre and Whitbread Inn pubs will be “outraged” to learn their beef lasagne contains pork. How many Muslims are shocked, dismayed and angered by the presence of non-kosher meats in their non-halal stomach liner could run into the single digits.

The cheesy beef lasagne is, we’re told, 8.5 percent beef and 4.5 per cent pork.

The meal is made by Creative Foods in Flint, Wales. The Sun recalls that in 2013 Creative “sold lasagne containing horse DNA to Whitbread”. Which, as any Italian will tell you, made it pretty authentic.

Posted: 10th, January 2017 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids, The Consumer | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


First British man to give birth is a woman

What do we make of the news that ‘A British man who fell pregnant after he used Facebook to find a sperm donor has said he will be the “greatest dad”.’ That’s the start of the Indy‘s article on Hayden Cross, 20, a woman who, having been told by the NHS that she wouldn’t be able to freeze her eggs for use at a later date due to her hormonal gender transitioning, found a sperm donor on the web and got pregnant.

The Indy says, “He is now four months pregnant and may be the first British man ever to give birth.” Be he isn’t. Because, well, he’s not a he. He is not pregnant. She is. We can agree on that, surely? No. The Sun says, “He is legally male.”

The Indy is at pains to tell readers that Hayden Cross is a man. “Mr Cross said his first attempt using donor sperm had been successful and he would continue his transition process to remove his breasts and ovaries as soon as he has given birth,” says the paper.

Every paper agrees that Hayden is a pregnant man.

PREGNANT DAD-TO-BE Who is Hayden Cross? UK’s first pregnant man undergoing gender realignment treatment – Sun

FIRST PREGNANT MAN! British man four months pregnant after receiving sperm donation – Express

Proudly showing off his baby bump: Former Asda worker is the first British MAN to become PREGNANT after finding a sperm donor on Facebook – Mail

Hayden (born Paige) tells the Sun: “In September I got pregnant by a sperm donation. I found the donor on the internet… The man came to my house, he passed me the sperm in a pot and I did it via a syringe. I felt I’d no choice, I couldn’t afford a proper clinic. I don’t know who the bloke was. To be honest I can’t remember anything about him. He wouldn’t even tell me his name. He said he was just doing it to help people.”

Can Hayden be certain the sperm was the man’s and not harvested from another source? If you got a pot of jism from a stranger would you be not a little circumspect?

“It was the first attempt and it worked,” adds Hayden. “I was really lucky.”

It is an unusual story. But is there really no newspaper editor looking on thinking it’s not the story of a pregnant man?

Meanwhile…

Posted: 9th, January 2017 | In: Reviews, Strange But True, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Local News Watch: the greatest two paragraphs of all time

Local News Watch: Adam Hart spots two paragraphs in the Western Gazette which, as he says, show us “journalism at its very best”.

 

local news watch

 

The story is about a car parking matters. Two cars have been spotted parked close together in Frome, Somerset. The local news hound places the happening in context: “They’re not the first two vehicles to have been pictured inches from one another in the town. A yellow Citroen parked inches away from a blue Volkswagen  at Sainsbury’s a few months ago.”

This story might be missing the still bigger scoop: who is going around Frome taking pictures of cars almost touching and are they on a police register?

Spotter: Adam Hart

Posted: 8th, January 2017 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Idiots lock up innocent woman for possessing small amount of marijuana 22 years ago

To Chicago, where Latasha Eatman has been jailed for 49 days for something she didn’t do. CBS News reports that Eatman was arrested in 1993 on minor marijuana possession charges. Her punishment was to complete a period of community service. But Eatman was unable to comply because the facility to which she’d been detailed was closed and full whenever she turned up. And she turned up on numerous occasions. Eventually a judge excused her from probation.

Fast forward to 2016 and police looking for shops selling contraband cigarettes spot Eatman and run her name through the computer. The machine flags up an outstanding warrant for failure to complete community service. On the strength of the shoddy data and poor admin, police arrest Eatman and locked her up. After ten days in prison, the mother of a six-year-old is brought before the Beak. She tells him what happened and of the previous ruling. But this judge calls her a liar. He orders that Eatman is slammed back in prison and held without bond. For 29 days she remains in choky.

By chance, one Cara Smith, a chief officer at the Cook County Sheriff’s Office, is running an audit of first-time offenders locked up in their jail. The authorities realise their error. Whoops!

One day later, Eatman is released.

And how was your day?

Spotter: Reason

Posted: 22nd, December 2016 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Aussie kangaroo puncher and Newcastle horse basher slug it out

As the internet watches footage of a man punching a kangaroo in the face (see below), we’ve been looking at the story of the Glasgow Celtic fan who throw a burger at a police horse before the Champions’ League match at Manchester City’s Etihad stadium.

The fan was arrested and fined £90 for a public order offence.

(The horse did not eat the ‘beefburger’. Horses are not cannibals.)

Minds turn to April 2013, when Newcastle United fan Barry Rogerson, 45, threw something else at a police horse working at the match: a punch. He told the tabloids: “I reacted stupidly but I did not go out to attack a horse. I love animals. I’ve got three dogs, a fish pond out the back and I feed foxes across the road.”

 

police horse punch

 

Maybe it’s time police adopted the football clubs’ policy of not using real animals, but mascots? Why should animals be hurt when people are willing to put there beaks and snouts in the firing line.

“We all thought he was having a laugh, but then he called us a bunch of “c****” and after a few words exchanged he waddled off back to the Family Stand,” said one Torquay fan of club mascot Gilbert The Gull. “At the end of the game, Gilbert came over again and in front of us on the pitch, he gave the ‘come on then’ body language towards us and wouldn’t stop until hiding behind the stewards and again waddling off as we moved towards the exits.”

Others have behaved worse, like Chaddy the Owl (Oldham Athletic), who set about the Blackpool mascot.  Blackpool press officer Matthew Williams told us: “I was in the press box and they were play-fighting, when Chaddy waded in and seemed to be kicking 10 bells out of Bloomfield Bear.”

 

 
And now for the kangaroo puncher. He’s Greig Tonkins, 34, an elephant keeper at Taronga Western Plains Zoo in Dubbo, New South Wales. He was out hunting wild pigs when his dog was grabbed in a headlock by a roo.

 

 

Tonkins wins by a technical knock out.

Kangaroos are feisty. In June a roo broke a woman’s breast implants. “Just out of the corner of my eye I’ve seen this kangaroo up on this ledge,” Mrs Heinrich told News Ltd in Australia. “I thought, ‘he’s cute’, and then he jumped on top of me and used me to launch off and on to my girlfriend. [The implants] are silicon and saline, and the saline will just go through your body but the silicon now congeals so it stays within the area but it’s very painful, it’s up there with cracked ribs.”

Greig had best take care. And watch out for those wild pigs. They’re huge.

 

Hogzilla pig puncher kangaroo unch

 

We’re gonna need a bigger fist.

Posted: 7th, December 2016 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Kids find something funny about Miss Butt in London school

We are at a loss. Cultural imperialism is rife. The Sun reports on “mum” Priscilla Terumalai, who was “hauled” into Mayville Primary School in Leytonstone, East London, to  explain why her 5-year-old daughter and her classmates had been giggling at their teacher: Miss Butt. For some reason, the figurative blighters found the name funny.

Indeed, dear reader, this is grim news. Miss Bottom, Miss Gluteus Maximus or Miss Arse would all be more suited to triggering laughter at a traditional British school. Miss Butt is so Americanised. It can’t be long before the kids are finding Miss Booty-Call hilarious.

Anyhow, Priscilla says the school is unhappy that Miss Butt was the butt of the kids’ laughter and may now move her children Annalise and Destiny to… Yes, Destiny.

Stop that! Stop that laughing. Stop it now!

PS: the local newspaper began its report: “A MOTHER says she feels ‘intimidated’ by a school after a teacher became the butt of her daughter’s humour.”

Free speech. No butts.

Posted: 1st, December 2016 | In: Reviews, Strange But True, Tabloids | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Cardiff’s plastic Christmas tree is cheaper than a white elephant

Cardiff council has invested £30,000 renting the biggest Christmas tree in the country.

At 40 metres the fake tree made of metal, plastic and more plastic would have been the envy of every municipal council in the land. But something went wrong and the tree if only 40ft high.

The tree, made in China, was hired for £10,000 a year on a three-year contract.

The council has yet to put an ‘angel’ on the tree but the city’s head of parks and gardens is being lubed up as we write.

Posted: 28th, November 2016 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


WANTED: The ‘Spelling Bee Bandit’ who can’t spell ‘robbery’

To Boston, where the FBI will pay a $1,000 reward for information leading to the capture of the “Spelling Bee Bandit”, so called because he can’t spell robbery. Police say the felon has robbed four different banks in Massachusetts over a two-week period. In every case, the criminals puts on sunglasses and hands a demand note with the word “Robery” written on it.

 

idiot robber

 

The robber is slim, male, white, in his late 30s or early 40s who is between 5’11” and 6’2″ and approximately 160 pounds. He talks with a “local” accent.

 

bank robber

 

He is most likely getting increasingly aggressive as the tellers continue to ask him what a “robery” is and is they are dressed appropriately.

 

Posted: 20th, November 2016 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Loaded gun located between biker’s buttocks

To Brisbane, Australia, where police have located a loaded gun wedged between a biker’s buttocks. Police located not one but two handguns. The second handgun was in his…car.

 

gun buttocks ass

A bum wrap

 

Officer Mick Niland is delighted: “It was great work by city officers acting promptly on reported suspicious activity and conducting a thorough search of the vehicle. Those that associate with OMCGs [outlaw motorcycle gangs] have to realise there is a cost and a risk to being a member or an associate of these crime gangs and organised crime.”

Well, quite. But given the location of that gun, bikies might be a danger to themselves.

Posted: 12th, November 2016 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Man finds freshly dug carrot wearing his lost wedding ring

To Germany, where a man looking for a lost wedding ring has found – wrapped around a carrot he dug from the ground.

The 82-year-old man lost the ring three years ago. He found it while the ring while gardening in Bad Muenstereifel.

 

carrot wedding ring

Not a finger (honest)

 

carrot wedding ring

With this ring, I thee (flower) bed

 

It was a real turn-up for the books. (Ouch!)

Spotter

 

Posted: 7th, November 2016 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Massive snowballs mass on Russian beach

To the Gulf of Ob, northwest Siberia, where thousands of massive snowballs pebbledash the beach. The snowballs – ranging from the size of a tennis ball to almost 1m (3ft) across – are formed by ice rolled by wind and water.

 

huge snowballs Russia

 

russia snow balls

File under: Russia’s got big balls.

Spotter

Posted: 7th, November 2016 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Lord Heseltine: the time a Tory grandee strangled a dog with his bare hands

Lord Heseltine tells the story of the time he strangled a dog.

 

Lord Heseltine dog killer

 

Anyone seen that coat? And can is pass for human hair?

Posted: 1st, November 2016 | In: Politicians, Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Drink! Feck! Girls! Kids dressed as Father Ted characters win Halloween

“These must be the best costumes of Halloween 2016 by my sisters friends in Wicklow,” tweets @ChrisJudge.

 

father ted halloween kids

Posted: 31st, October 2016 | In: Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0