Anorak

Strange But True | Anorak - Part 9

Strange But True Category

Weird, offbeat and bizarre news from around the world. Funny, strange & odd news stories that make you wince, laugh and fear for humanity.

Tires down a ski jump – alternative Olympic sports

tyres down a ski jump

 

With the UK’s olympic-sized Olympics budget under review – can we just embrace technology and go long on drugs and short on training? – Anorak’s on the look out for cheap and cheerful alternative events.

And here is one: tyres down a ski jump.

Posted: 23rd, April 2017 | In: Sports, Strange But True | Comment


Nigerian spy chief had $43m dollars in his Lagos flat

Can it be that the bloke whose been emailing you all these years has been caught? Police in Nigeria have noticed Aoy Oke, the country’s National Intelligence Agency boss, after finding $43 Million in cash at his four-bedroom Lagos flat.

Police also found $36,000 worth of British pounds and $75,000 worth of Nigerian naira.

Nigeria’s anti-corruption body, the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, said it suspected the funds were linked to unlawful activities.

 

ayo oke

“It’s amazing what you find down the back of the sofa”

 

Oke’s been suspended from his job.

Oke has’t yet made a public statement, but unnamed intelligence sources told local media there’s nothing to see here, and the cash was just being held for covert operations.

Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari isn’t buying it, and has suspended Oke pending an investigation. Vice President Yemi Osinbajo will head the investigation and report back to Buhari with findings in two weeks.

Meanwhile, that email about a pressing need to deposit tens of millions of dollars into your Post Office savings account might not be all that far-fetched after all.

Spotter: Foreign Policy

 

Posted: 21st, April 2017 | In: Money, Strange But True | Comment


Glasgow woman gives mouth to mouth to dying pigeon

To Glasgow, where a woman is trying to resuscitate a pigeon with mouth to mouth.

@charlismyname spotted this ‘Glasgow kiss’ and tweeted that the pigeon was then eaten by a seagull.

You get your protein where you can find it in Scotland.

Posted: 20th, April 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Air Canada bumps young boy from overbooked flight

Someone give Macaulay Culkin a hose down and get John Hughes on the phone: Home Alone has a sequel. Cole Doyle, 10, was on his way to Costa Rica last month. Travelling with his family, Cole was looking forward to sun, sea and sloths. But he was prevented from boarding the Air Canada flight because the airline had oversold tickets and bumped him from the passenger list.

His family hadn’t already all passed though checkin in, leaving young Cole alone at Charlottetown Airport. They didn’t put him on another plane – the wrong flight! – causing him to accidentally fly to North Korea. (Call me John , I have ideas.) They drove to Montreal in an effort to connect with a flight there. But that flight was cancelled. So they drove to Halifax, Nova Scotia, where they stayed overnight in a hotel and caught a flight the following day.

(John, the movie is writing itself. And get Chevy Chase.)

Air Canada has apologised and offered the family a C$2,500 voucher (£1,495), which expires in one year. The airline also paid their expenses.

An Air Canada spokeswoman tells the Vancouver Sun: ‘We are currently following up to understand what went wrong and have apologised to Mr Doyle and his family as well as offered a very generous compensation to the family for their inconvenience.”

It’s not all that generous, though, is it? Cash would have been better.

Posted: 19th, April 2017 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Videos of children being terrified by the Easter Bunny

Did the Easter Bunny bring you the egg you wanted?

 

easter egg pooh winnie alien

 

Not everyone loves the Easter Bunny.  On YouTube there are lots of videos of well-meaning / unhinged parents scaring the crap out of their children by dressing up in bunny suits.

 

Posted: 16th, April 2017 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment


Is Nothing Safe? Man accused of public sex with motorbike

Is Nothing Safe? To Folkestone Magistrates’ Court, from where the Sun brings news of a man accused of “‘trying to have sex with a SUZUKI MOTORBIKE’ in city centre”.

Which begs the question: if not a city centre, where is it ok for a man to attempt coitus with a motorbike? Should we all be aware lest we spot something nasty in the local bike enthusiast’s garage?

 

sex bike court

0 – sexty

 

The Sun explains:

Kevin Chapman, 33, is accused of exposing himself in a busy city centre while allegedly simulating sex with a sleekly designed blue Suzuki.

Like the slim ones do you, sir? Does the look of the bike matter? The paper goes on to describe the bike as a “beautifully-crafted vehicle”.  This was not on ugly old bike. It was a racy number. The paper adds:

Kevin Chapman denies having sex with a motorbike and claims he was pushed into the vehicle while his trousers were down.

 

Kent Live notes that Mr Chapman also denies “kicking and pushing the motorbike and said he was pushed into the vehicle by homeless people”.

Chapman, from Ashford in Kent, pleaded not guilty to indecent exposure and causing criminal damage to the bike at Folkestone Magistrates’ Court. He had “no recollection” of indecently exposing himself on March 27.

 

 

Posted: 15th, April 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment


The Internet of things: hacker makes all city’s emergency sirens go off at once

When everything is on the Internet, it might be wise to sleep with one eye open and beneath a tinfoil blanket. People living in Dallas didn’t get much sleep when a hacker triggered the city’s 156 emergency sirens – used to hail sever weather – to wail all at once 60 times from 11.42 pm until 1.17am.

Feel safer?

 

hacking toaster amazon

 

You might want to unplug that toaster. When Andrew McGill linked his toaster to the web, hackers plugged in. In a day, 300 hackers had attempted to control his toaster. “I switched on the server at 1:12 p.m. Wednesday, fully expecting to wait days—or weeks—to see a hack attempt,” says McGill. “Wrong! The first one came at 1:53 p.m.”

If it’s on the web, it can be hacked.

Spotter: TelegraphUSA TodayThe Inevitability of Being Hacked

 

Posted: 9th, April 2017 | In: Strange But True, Technology | Comment


Artist turns the dead into pencils

dead pencils

 

When you die, you can spend eternity sliding about the bottom of a kitchen drawn, stuck down a sofa and having your head shaved into a point. Artist Nadine Jarvis turns human remains into pencils.

She takes the carbon left on the floor in crematoria and as part of her “research project into post mortem” turns the dust into pencils. It turns out that “240 pencils can be made from an average body of ash – a lifetime supply of pencils for those left behind”.

The pencils are not graded. Although it would be nice if the ‘H’ (for hardness) and ‘B’ (for blackness) could reflect the donor’s personality, disposition and lifestyle.

Spotter: Cribcandy

Posted: 27th, March 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Man’s vanity plate banned for being offensive to women

Lorne Grabher is the victim of bureaucrats who saw his surname and thought him guilty of offence causing. Nova Scotia’s  Registrar of Motor Vehicles banned Mr Grabher’s personalised number plate – ‘GRABHER’ – on the grounds that it could be “misinterpreted as a socially unacceptable slogan”.

 

lorne-grabher trump

 

Worse, he could have ben mistaken for the American President.

Mr Grabher protested. “The name on the plate was my last name ‘Grabher’ and has been in the family for over 25 years,” he wrote on Facebook. “This plate changed hands within the family three times with no issue but because one complaint was lodged Ms. Director of Road Safety used her authority to cancel my plate. Where does it state that my last name is considered a ‘slogan’ in the Motor Vehicle Act?”

The Department of Transportation told CBS the plate “some individuals interpret [GRABHER] as misogynistic and promoting violence against women. With no way to denote that it is a family name on the plate, the department determined it was in the public’s best interest to remove it from circulation.”

Might it also be wise to remove Mr Grabher from society lest he adhere to the cruse of nominative determinism, by which a person’s destiny is shaped by their name?

Incidentally, the man in charge iof Nova Scotia’s transport is Mark Furey. Approach with caution.

 

Posted: 26th, March 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Matador gored in the anus gives thumbs up and eyes return to the ring

When Matador Antonio Romero was impaled on a bull’s horn at a bullfight in Mexico City, we all winced. The bull’s horn went straight up Romero’s backside. News emerging from Mexico is that Matador Romero’s anus is “completely destroyed”.

 

thumbs up bullfighter anus

See you in the ring

 

Does it hurt? Only when he laughs – the Press is having no little sport with Antonio’s destroyed anus. The Mail says he’s looking forward to “getting back into the ring”. No. Not the bull. Antonio.

“BULLSEYE,” cheers the Daily Star alongside a photo of Matador Romero becoming a novelty horn ornament. “A bull sticks its horn right up matador Antonio Romero’s backside.”

But the matador’s on the mend. “I have faith and hope to feel again and show that I want to be someone important in the Fiesta Brava,” Antonio tells the Daily Star.

Right now, though, Antonio is like so many bulls bred for bullfighting: he’s well-and truly f*****.

 

Posted: 25th, March 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Man vomits as he proposes to girlfriend on private plane over Reedley, Ca.

Man vomits as he proposes to girlfriend on private plane over Reedley, Ca.

 

As he cruised the skies on the look out for a ‘MARRY ME’ sign he’d painted on the ground, Darrell Hamilton Jr reached into his bag and pulled out a ring box. To showed it to his fiancee Rheanna Lopez – and then puked all over the floor.

She said “Yes”. And the women who married my friend who shat the bed on their romantic night in France – tip: don’t have the whitebait in Le Touquet – also said ‘Yes’.

 

Posted: 15th, March 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment


American Allan V. Evans of Colorado says he’s the rightful king of Britain and ready to seize power

An American called Allan V. Evans of Colorado USA has taken out a big ad in the Times to say he’s the rightful king of Britain and intends to seize power.

 

American Allan V. Evans of Colorado says he’s the rightful king of Britain and ready to seize power

 

Allan V. Evans of Colorado king of britain times advert Allan V. Evans of Colorado king of britain times advert Allan V. Evans of Colorado king of britain times advert

 

 

Posted: 1st, March 2017 | In: Broadsheets, Key Posts, Royal Family, Strange But True | Comment


Find household items lost inside your anus with the Body Orifice Security Scanner (BOSS)

Ever lose something up your nostrils, vagina, anus or other orifice? Something like a Donny Osmond poster, keepsake, drugs stash, lungfish, hacksaw, shovel, shot glass or eel?

Well, help is at hand. Beat the Boss, aka Xeku’s Body Orifice Security Scanner (BOSS), will give you a gel-free “hygienic cavity search”. Ostensibly targeted at prisoners smuggling contraband into choky, the BOSS will be a boon to sexual explorers and nudists who spend too long asking, ‘Has anyone seen the keys?”

 

Posted: 28th, February 2017 | In: Strange But True, Technology | Comment


Bagel on a train #bagelgate

When the British enjoy a bagel, they really go all in. A bagel is not just a nice Yiddisher roll; it’s a conversation piece, play toy and agitator. Dougie Stew was there to see what happened when a woman put a bagel on her head on a British train:

 

Posted: 28th, February 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Saudi Arabia’s King packs 459 tonnes of luggage and two elevators for 9-day trip

When Saudi Arabia’s king travels to Indonesia he’ll have packed 506 tons of stuff into his bags. As well as spare knickers, travel plugs and mints, King Salman bin Abdul Aziz will travel with two Mercedes limousines and two elevators?

It’s the first time the King has visited Indonesia for 46 years. He was meant to go earlier but by the time the hand luggage was sorted and he’d found the wife he wasn’t sure if he’d packed or not, the 1980s and 1990s had come and gone.

The Washington Post looks on:

The Jakarta Post reports that the Saudi group will total about 1,500 people, including 10 ministers, 25 princes and at least 100 security personnel.

Not all of the staff will in the hold.

 

Posted: 27th, February 2017 | In: Royal Family, Strange But True | Comment


Prince Charles would smear a grey squirrel’s tampon in contraceptives

No longer content with dreaming of being Camilla’s tampon, Prince Charles has focused his senses on squirrels’ genitalia, notably those of the invasive grey strain. Charles want to reduce their numbers by giving them contraceptives and thereby increase the number of nuts and nooks for red squirrels to conquer.

The preferred method is not for condoms, pills and and workshops advocating abstinence before marriage, but a drug hidden in chocolate spread. If it work with squirrels, expect the Government to lobby Nutella and makers of supermarket own-brand gunk to do their same to pestered and hated fat people.

 

Posted: 26th, February 2017 | In: Royal Family, Strange But True | Comment


Brigitte Bardot sings for the man buried riding his Harley Davidson

The afterlife’s better with a Harley Davidson motorbike. When 84-year old Bill Standley of Mechanicsburg, Ohio, died he was buried in a plexiglass and wooden coffin sat astride his 1967 Harley-Davidson motorcycle. To complete the look, Bill wore a helmet, leather jacket and biker boots.

 

MAN BURIED RIDING HIS HARLEY-DAVIDSON MOTORCYCLE

 

The Columbus Dispatch says Standley started to plan his funeral 18 years before he breathed his last. “This was his dream,” said one of his daughters, Dorothy Brown. “He was a one-of-a-kind.”

Of course, not everyone rides their Harley to the great hereafter. You can buy a used bike here.

But just in case Bill wasn’t one of a kind and you also want to be buried with your Harley, we’d like to recommend some music to be lowered into the underground garage by. It’s Serge Gainsbourg’s Harley Davidson, as recorded by avid biker Brigitte Bardot.

 

The cover for Bardot’s ‘Harley Davidson’ hit single written by Serge Gainsbourg

 

Brigitte Bardot posing on a yellow Harley-Davidson chopper built by Maurice Combalbert.

Brigitte Bardot posing on a yellow Harley-Davidson chopper built by Maurice Combalbert.

 

The song was sung by Serge Gainsbourg, Gerard Depardieu and Johnny Hallyday on French TV in 1980. And for reasons unexplained, Serge is astride astride a BMW. Maybe his glasses are just a tad too dark.

 

 

This post is sponsored by Jennings Harley Davidson.

Posted: 23rd, February 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Police accidentally raped a man when his trousers fells down and a truncheon went up

To France, where ‘Theo’, a 22-year-old black man, claims he was raped when police inserted a truncheon in his anus. An internal police inquiry found nothing untoward. But Theo was showing severe anal injuries.

Police now says the wounding was an accident. In a video of the incident, police see a copper  ‘applying a truncheon blow horizontally across the buttocks’. Theo’s trousers ‘slipped down on their own’. As such ‘there are insufficient elements to show that this was a rape’.

But an investigating magistrate disagrees. They’ve charged one of the police officers with rape.

French President Francois Hollande has taken the time to visit Theo in hospital and Prime Minister Bernard Cazenueve says their is an official state of ‘solidarity’ with the alleged victim.

 

Posted: 10th, February 2017 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment


Buddhist Monkey arrested with 4.6 million methamphetamine pills, a grenade and ammunition in his car

In what officials are calling ‘not a normal case’, a Buddhist monk has been arrested in Myanmar with 4.6 million methamphetamine pills, a grenade and ammunition were found in his car.

“This is not a normal case, and when we were informed that the monk was arrested, we were all shocked,” says Kyaw Mya Win, a township police officer.

“It is not a very common case, but not impossible to happen. What will happen to the monk is that he will have to give up his monkhood right away and face trial as an ordinary person,”  adds Myanmar’s director general of the Religious Affairs Ministry, Soe Min Tun.

It’s unlikely the pills were for personal use. So was he buying the pills for his mates or selling them for other mates?

Myanmar has a history of persecuting the country’s Rohingya Muslim minority. In 2012, ‘Buddhist extremists drove tens of thousands of Rohingya out of their homes, many risked their lives to escape in smugglers’ boats; more than 100,000 others are living in squalid internment camps’.

The Strait Times reported this month:

The UN report issued on Friday said Myanmar’s security forces had committed mass killings and gang rapes of Rohingya Muslims and burned their villages since October in a campaign that “very likely” amounted to crimes against humanity and possibly ethnic cleansing.

Myanmar has said it is conducting a lawful counterinsurgency campaign.

Is the army marching on methamphetamine?

 

Posted: 7th, February 2017 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment


Snake gets stuck in woman’s stretched earlobe (photos)

To Oregon, where Ashley Glawe’s pet Ball Python snake, Bart, has got stuck in her stretched earlobe. Ashley playing with Bart when it began to side through her stretched earlobe.

 

snake stuck stretcher snake stuck ear

 

Unable to free herself of Bart, Ashley called the emergency service to “extract” the critter. A nick from a surgical blade, some Vaseline and Bart was free.

Spotter: Geekologie

Posted: 5th, February 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Outrage! Muslim finds pork in non halal Whitbread pub dinner

Big news on the Sun’s cover is that teetotal Muslims who eat at Brewer’s Fayre and Whitbread Inn pubs will be “outraged” to learn their beef lasagne contains pork. How many Muslims are shocked, dismayed and angered by the presence of non-kosher meats in their non-halal stomach liner could run into the single digits.

The cheesy beef lasagne is, we’re told, 8.5 percent beef and 4.5 per cent pork.

The meal is made by Creative Foods in Flint, Wales. The Sun recalls that in 2013 Creative “sold lasagne containing horse DNA to Whitbread”. Which, as any Italian will tell you, made it pretty authentic.

Posted: 10th, January 2017 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids, The Consumer | Comment


First British man to give birth is a woman

What do we make of the news that ‘A British man who fell pregnant after he used Facebook to find a sperm donor has said he will be the “greatest dad”.’ That’s the start of the Indy‘s article on Hayden Cross, 20, a woman who, having been told by the NHS that she wouldn’t be able to freeze her eggs for use at a later date due to her hormonal gender transitioning, found a sperm donor on the web and got pregnant.

The Indy says, “He is now four months pregnant and may be the first British man ever to give birth.” Be he isn’t. Because, well, he’s not a he. He is not pregnant. She is. We can agree on that, surely? No. The Sun says, “He is legally male.”

The Indy is at pains to tell readers that Hayden Cross is a man. “Mr Cross said his first attempt using donor sperm had been successful and he would continue his transition process to remove his breasts and ovaries as soon as he has given birth,” says the paper.

Every paper agrees that Hayden is a pregnant man.

PREGNANT DAD-TO-BE Who is Hayden Cross? UK’s first pregnant man undergoing gender realignment treatment – Sun

FIRST PREGNANT MAN! British man four months pregnant after receiving sperm donation – Express

Proudly showing off his baby bump: Former Asda worker is the first British MAN to become PREGNANT after finding a sperm donor on Facebook – Mail

Hayden (born Paige) tells the Sun: “In September I got pregnant by a sperm donation. I found the donor on the internet… The man came to my house, he passed me the sperm in a pot and I did it via a syringe. I felt I’d no choice, I couldn’t afford a proper clinic. I don’t know who the bloke was. To be honest I can’t remember anything about him. He wouldn’t even tell me his name. He said he was just doing it to help people.”

Can Hayden be certain the sperm was the man’s and not harvested from another source? If you got a pot of jism from a stranger would you be not a little circumspect?

“It was the first attempt and it worked,” adds Hayden. “I was really lucky.”

It is an unusual story. But is there really no newspaper editor looking on thinking it’s not the story of a pregnant man?

Meanwhile…

Posted: 9th, January 2017 | In: Reviews, Strange But True, Tabloids | Comment (1)


Local News Watch: the greatest two paragraphs of all time

Local News Watch: Adam Hart spots two paragraphs in the Western Gazette which, as he says, show us “journalism at its very best”.

 

local news watch

 

The story is about a car parking matters. Two cars have been spotted parked close together in Frome, Somerset. The local news hound places the happening in context: “They’re not the first two vehicles to have been pictured inches from one another in the town. A yellow Citroen parked inches away from a blue Volkswagen  at Sainsbury’s a few months ago.”

This story might be missing the still bigger scoop: who is going around Frome taking pictures of cars almost touching and are they on a police register?

Spotter: Adam Hart

Posted: 8th, January 2017 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, Strange But True | Comment


Idiots lock up innocent woman for possessing small amount of marijuana 22 years ago

To Chicago, where Latasha Eatman has been jailed for 49 days for something she didn’t do. CBS News reports that Eatman was arrested in 1993 on minor marijuana possession charges. Her punishment was to complete a period of community service. But Eatman was unable to comply because the facility to which she’d been detailed was closed and full whenever she turned up. And she turned up on numerous occasions. Eventually a judge excused her from probation.

Fast forward to 2016 and police looking for shops selling contraband cigarettes spot Eatman and run her name through the computer. The machine flags up an outstanding warrant for failure to complete community service. On the strength of the shoddy data and poor admin, police arrest Eatman and locked her up. After ten days in prison, the mother of a six-year-old is brought before the Beak. She tells him what happened and of the previous ruling. But this judge calls her a liar. He orders that Eatman is slammed back in prison and held without bond. For 29 days she remains in choky.

By chance, one Cara Smith, a chief officer at the Cook County Sheriff’s Office, is running an audit of first-time offenders locked up in their jail. The authorities realise their error. Whoops!

One day later, Eatman is released.

And how was your day?

Spotter: Reason

Posted: 22nd, December 2016 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment