Susan Boyle Is My Transsexual Jesus
SUSAN Boyle Watch: A few hundred protestors are massed outside Glasgow’s Tron Theatre, where the big show is Jesus, Queen of Heaven, featuring Christ as a transsexual woman.
Who knew that the Glasgay! festival could be controversial?
Placards are waved:
“Jesus, King of Kings, Not Queen of Heaven.”
“God: My Son Is Not A Pervert.”
Posted: 4th, November 2009 | In: Susan Boyle | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Celtic’s Susan Boyle Moment: In Pictures
SUSAN Boyle Watch: Better than Celtic…
Posted: 23rd, October 2009 | In: Susan Boyle | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Is Susan Boyle Pregnant In Time For Christmas 2009?
SUSAN Boyle to have a Christmas TV special. A panto?
Oh, no she won’t!
Oh yes she will.
Get Pebbles. Like Dick Whittington, she must turn again for London!
Reports are that Susan will perform in front of celebrities for a festive “An Audience with Susan Boyle”.
Susan Boyle will appear before what is still called “a live studio audience” of celebs to answer questions from the likes of Amanda Holden, Cheryl Cole, Chris Biggins, Piers Morgan and (did we mention Amanda Holden?) and DJ Talent between songs?
A source tells the News of the World:
“Everyone is really excited about the show. With the huge worldwide appeal of Susan, the show could be screened right across the globe and potentially be one of the biggest ratings successes for ITV ever.”
Posted: 19th, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, Susan Boyle | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Susan Boyle Comes Out Fighting For Leona Lewis
SUSAN Boyle Watch: One day one from Leona Lewis being hit in the face by a fan / nutter / make-up artiste and Susan Boyle is taking up boxing.
The Mirror’s 3am Girls read the press release:
Susan Boyle has apparently taken up punching bags to de-stress. And guess what? Unassuming Suse is keeping it real by the shunning the middle-class-aspirational trappings and trendy gyms associated with boxercise to mix it up in her local boxing club in Blackburn. She’s so real. And she’s still blessed with that cross-demographic broad appeal, too – check out the cultural references: “One of her favourite songs is Eye Of The Tiger from the Rocky movie” said a ‘pal’.
If Eye of the Tiger can be sung slowly with organs and the Vienna Boys Choir on backing vocals, Susan Boyle may yet have a hit.
In other Susan Boyle news, Leo Hickman has a lament:
I have lamented in the past the fact that there rarely seems to be an online video with an environmental theme that “goes viral”. We get laughing babies, epic safari battles and Susan Boyle, but we never get a video that spreads an environmental meme to millions of people across the planet.
We all have your dreams to dream.
The image is of Susan Boyle’s album cover. Why they got Brenda Fricker to plays the part of Susan Boyle is beyond us. Maybe Susan didn’t want that makeover, having taken Amanda Holden’s advice to heart..?
Posted: 15th, October 2009 | In: Susan Boyle | Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Susan Boyle Album’s Bonus Track
SUSAN Boyle’s new album ‘I Dream A Dream’ has hit the shops in time for Halloween (surely Christmas? –ed).
The album features a pair of tweezers, an Amanda Holden shock mask and a personal plea from Nelson Mandela for him to meet with her. And that’s not all – buy now and get a free Susan Boyle puppet stuffing kit.
The full playlist includes:
“Wild Horses”
“I Dreamed a Dream”
“Cry Me a River”
“How Great Thou Art”
“You’ll See”
“Daydream Believer”
“Up to the Mountain”
“Amazing Grace”
“Who I Was Born to Be”
“Proud”
“The End of the World”
“Silent Night”
Posted: 9th, October 2009 | In: Susan Boyle | Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Susan Boyle Sings For Barbara Bush
SUSAN Boyle Watch: With Amanda Holden’s dinner, Postman Pat, Simon Cowell’s gardener and meeting Barabra Bush…
Ireland On Line: “Amanda Holden has to use Susan Boyle’s name to make restaurant reservations in America.”
She said: “To get into places, whenever they asked: ‘Who is it for?’ I’d say: ‘Do you know Susan Boyle? I’m the judge on that show.’
“They would be like: ‘Oh my god! Susan Boyle!’ and we would be in.”
And Susan?
“It’s amazing - she seems to have reached every corner of the world. I don’t think she realises her fame is growing. Susan has been in a little bubble in LA making her album and probably thinks the world has forgotten about her.”
Yeah, probably. That little bubble-haired bubble of tuneful air. Pudding, Amanda?
The Sun: “Amanda Holden exclusive chat”
More from Amanda who applauded Boyle’s drudge style and then took the piss out of her on the telly.
“Piers and I went to Simon’s house in LA and he put on Susan’s new track Wild Horses. We sat around his candlelit pool with it ringing out into the dark night. I had goose pimples.”
Susan had a burger and chips.
“I expected Susan to be good - but I didn’t expect the song choice to be so genius and to suit her so well. It was a cross between Kate Bush and Barbra Streisand.”
Barbara Bush can sing? And is that brown sauce on the end of Amanda’s nose?
Burbank Leader: A print shop in California is closing its doors.
So after 41 years, PIP Burbank is closing its doors. The same week that Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said that the recession is “very likely over,” I will be looking for a new job for the first time in 21 years…
My first reaction is sadness and disbelief. I hate to see a Burbank tradition go after all these years… My second reaction is one of panic…
But it is my third reaction that I am now concentrating on. I have decided to use this newfound “opportunity” as my Susan Boyle moment.
The Guardian: “Britain’s got gardening talent”
I have a theory that Simon Cowell may have infiltrated the RHS. It might sound far-fetched, but you have to admit there’s something more than a little X Factor or Britain’s Got Talent about its latest wheeze - the RHS Olympic Park Great British Garden Competition…
But the part that made me realise why this competition is so worthwhile was Skandan Sithamparanatham’s simple but effective wheel design entry, of which he wrote: “I am entering this competition after my geography teacher, Miss Tharlow, encouraged me to and I believe my garden could be a feature of the Olympics.” To my mind that is more inspirational than the Susan Boyle and Danyl Johnson auditions put together, and quite frankly makes me wish I’d had a better geography teacher.
The Mirror: “Postman Pat to deliver in movie role”
Children’s favourite Postman Pat is to become a 3D movie star. In the feature film, Pat will discover he has an amazing singing voice. And he has a Susan Boylestyle transformation from sleepy postie to national hero and wins a Britain’s Got Talent-type contest.
And then Judge Wendy Holden gets her kits off for a lad’s mag?
Pat, who even meets a character based on X Factor mogul Simon Cowell, is forced to choose between his rural life delivering mail and international superstardom.
And a cat…
Posted: 7th, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, Susan Boyle | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
SUSAN Boyle Watch: Susan Boyle’s frightwig for your Halloween party, Tom Meighan on the retarded singers and the X Factor goes mental for Fame!…
The Retarded
The X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent are “destroying people’s lives”, according to Tom Meighan, the lead singer of rock band Kasabian - Telegraph
“Poor Susan Boyle, it’s unbelievable what’s happening. I just can’t get my head around it. It’s wrong… I don’t watch any of it. The design on X Factor, it’s retarded, it’s very backwards. “Look what they do to people, pop moguls like Simon Cowell, they take people and then destroy them” - Digital Spy
Let’s Go Radio Rental
First the bad news Contestants on the X-Factor will face a barrage of psychological tests in the wake of Susan Boyle’s meltdown as a runner up on Britain’s Got Talent. The Boyle lesson made television executives aware of the rigours of reality talent shows - especially on the never-before famous - 3am
Posted: 25th, September 2009 | In: Susan Boyle | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Susan Boyle Fakes It And Robbie Williams Fears
Susan Boyle’s a TV fake on America’s Got Talent, Elaine Paige recalls, The Beatles are the Four Susan Boyles and Robbie Williams foresees a nervous breakdown…
Posted: 18th, September 2009 | In: Gallery, Key Posts, Susan Boyle | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Susan Boyle’s Pre-Recorded Song For America’s Got Talent Final
SUSAN Boyle Watch: Susan Boyle sings on the live final of NBC’s America’s Got Talent and the world reacts.
Britain’s Got Talent superstar Susan Boyle has faced the biggest audience of her career, singing in front of 25 million viewers on US television. Well, not quite. Her performance was recorded the night before the show. What viewers saw was a recording made to look as if she were singing live. Still, not everyone noticed:
* “SuBo has received a “standing ovation” for her performance on America’s Got Talent, the sister version of the Britian’s Got talent” - Sky
Did you get off your sofa and clap?
Posted: 17th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Susan Boyle | Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
You’ll Believe Susan Boyle Can Fly
SUSAN Boyle is in the US of A and living the lifelong dream of sitting on a dwarf plastic elephant and not being able to fly it.
(Why do the horses have such long noses? Why, Simon? Why?)
Posted: 14th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Susan Boyle | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Susan Boyle’s Wild Horses Is No. 1 Pick At Funerals
SUSAN Boyle is back. With the recession cured, Susan is her to make the world a better place. Susan Boyle, the most famous woman on planet Earth, the woman who drove Michael Jackson to drugs, is to release her debut single, a cover version of the Rolling Stones classic, Wild Horses, Wild Hair.
Dressed like the Pope, Susan Boyle touches down in Los Angeles, her city, her people, her angels.
Posted: 13th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Susan Boyle | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The X Factor: How Susan Boyle Saved Emma Chawner From Ridicule
The X Factor returns and with so does Emma Chawner, the tabloids’ “beast” who will show us that in a post-Susan Boyle world much has changed. Also, look out for a live performance from Michael Jackson…
MICHAEL Jackson may not be performing on the X FACTOR this season. As we know Jackson will never be buried, securing from his nearest and dearest the birthday gift of an eternal performance at the Great Mausoleum at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, Calif. It was never going to be easy to top the 50 dates at London 02 oxygen tent, but the Jacksons never got anywhere without thinking big.
After Britney Spears did her impression of Max Wall on last season’s X Factor, a source oozed to the tabloids:
“Britney was a massive coup for Cowell. But he’s determined to raise the bar even higher and secure Jacko’s services. He is perhaps one of the few artists who could outshine Britney.”
A lifeless Jackson would doubtless out-dance Spears. But the X Factor is not about the stars, really, it is about the judges and the losers and the rejects, like Emma Chawner, the Telegraph’s “Teletubby”, and the Star’s “the beast”. Emma is back for some more humiliation, says the Express.
Posted: 22nd, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Susan Boyle | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Susan Boyle Sings On Alan Carr’s Chatty Man
SUSAN Boyle Watch: Susan Boyle is on Channel 4, appearing with Alan Carr, the product of Eric Morecambe’s coupling with Larry Grayson.
Susan Boyle is on Channel 4, appearing with Alan Carr, the product of Eric Morecambe’s coupling with Larry Grayson.
But it turns out this is not Boyle but Amanda Holden, the woman who also appears on the Britain’s Got Talent YouTube hit in her capacity as a judge.
The Sun says this is “a cruel send-up of fragile singing sensation Susan Boyle”. And it is. It is also a cruel send up of Carr’s show that seems unable to find new material or a decent guest, and is forced to interview another self-promoting TV product about another reality TV show product.
Posted: 14th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Susan Boyle | Comments (83) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Susan Boyle’s Harper’s Bazaar Interview In Pictures And Video
SOURCES tell us that when confronted with the mighty talent that is Susan Boyle, Michael Jackson knew the game was up.
When Jackson gamely stepped aside, Susan Boyle became the world’s foremost entertainer. And now in Susan Boyle, Unsung Hero she gives her first “major magazine interview” to Harper’s Bizarre Bazaar.
Susan Boyle is at Cliveden, resisting the urge to pose in the manner of Christine Keeler, preferring to remain dressed in new clothes, her face painted and her back resting against the chair support. Boyle is styled to look regal. Says Boyle:
“It does feel unreal. It will take a bit of adjusting to because I’ve led a sheltered life, I know. I’ve got life experience, but mentally I have to adjust. But it’s all good. All good.”
Posted: 5th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Susan Boyle | Comments (13) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
SUSAN Boyle Watch: July through to August are the Dog Days for British media. When a child goes missing, the excitement is palpable.
Desperate times.
Everyone who is anyone has buggered off on holiday leaving the also rans to struggle for the yarn to tickle the stay-at-home readers’ palate.
News is hard to come by.
Soldiers are still being, (tragically, needlessly, sacrificially) “slain”. “slaughtered”, “let down” and plain “murdered”. Mothers will still weep but news is hard to come by.
Posted: 28th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Susan Boyle | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Susan Boyle Says Fame Is Like A Demolition Ball
SUSAN Boyle Watch: Susan Boyle is doing the media rounds, looking like a more varnished version of her old self, using Americanised words and functioning like a hairy puppet on Simon Cowell’s string.
This is being billed as Susan Boyle’s “comeback” - a cynical marketing-led claim for a woman who never went away - sometimes, she never even left her room to go on stage.
AGW loosk at Susan Boyle, the women who became the No Hit Wonder as she talks nonsense on US TV show Today:
Susan Boyle, has had a make over and a new purple dress and is now in Los Angeles, a long. long, way from her roots and her pussy back home in Blackburn, West Lothian.
Posted: 21st, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Susan Boyle | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Susan Boyle On Michael Jackson
NEWS of Michael Jackson’s death and lurid tales of drugs, makes Anorak’s AGW think of Susan Boyle:
…on the other hand there’s still Susan Boyle.
Do you think her medics could stuff her with prescription only medicines to get her on her feet and in control of bodily functions long enough to record and re-release Earth Song-a-long with SuBo… the Jacko Lament Album?
It’s what Michael would have wanted:
The self-titled “King of Pop” is said to have sent Ms. Boyle flowers and a card that reads “Jesus was prosecuted too.”
Posted: 27th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Susan Boyle | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
SUSAN Boyle Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Susan Boyle in the news - Seven days in the life of Susan Boyle…
Susan Boyle wows Londoners who can’t get in to see Les Miserables or Cats with a rendition of “I Dreamed a Dream” and “Memory.”
“She did really well,” says her rep, who explains why on the seventh day Boyle did not rest:
“She was still tired. With all the travelling the decision was made to have a rest until Sunday.”
Let us pray…
The Guardian: Was Séraphine Louis the original Susan Boyle?
The similarities between the Britain’s Got Talent star and the French artist in Martin Provost’s new biopic, are uncanny…
Yet while Boyle retreated to the Priory for five days, Louis spent the last decade of her life on psychiatric wards in Clermont and Villers-sous-Erquery before passing away in 1942 and being buried in a common grave, forgotten by everyone…
America’s Got Talent season 4 (NBC) Tuesday, June 23, 9p.m. - It might be a little difficult to top the force to reckon with that some people like to call Susan Boyle“
And other like to call Simple Susie, the Hairy Angel, Jesus Boyle, the Bearded Chuff…
California Chronicle:
Susan comes across as a genuine, innocent and lovely lady. She’d be happier living the simple life, among the people she knows and loves. This lady has a beautiful voice, it must be lovely for the locals in her home town to hear her sing in church and atconcerts.
Consistency is all:
BRITAIN’S Got Talent star Susan Boyle received a standing ovation yesterday after performing live on the talent show’s tour.
National Post: The power of Boyle
Morgan admitted it was one of the very few occasions in his life when he felt truly chastened.
“The thing I’ve learned about this show is to expect the unexpected,” Morgan said. “Nothing now ever surprises me.
“We were not expecting her to be able to sing — at all. We all thought she was going to be like all the other acts we had seen that day. What we were not expecting was that she would have this incredible voice. And we certainly had no idea that she would have this impact on the world. It was the most extraordinary thing I’ve ever witnessed…
“The great thing about Susan was she came along at a perfect time, a time when the whole world was suffering from the recession and things were down in the dumps.”
Susan Boyle sent us love and kisses from Wembley with her song and in return received wild approval from her audience.
Irish Herald, Marisa Mackel:
I can’t imagine how Susan Boyle’s Pebbles is coping with the fame thing, but he’s probably shouting for Whiskas’ best rather than leftovers from SuBo’s dinner. He’s probably demanding trips to the beauty parlour right now, even if his owner isn’t bothered by that kind of thing.
When I think of my life this time last year, when I spent an unhealthy amount of time taking pictures of my cat, Jagger, I begin to worry. Would I have become Ireland’s answer to Susan Boyle (without the talented singing voice of course)?
Susan Boyle is among us…
Posted: 22nd, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Susan Boyle | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Susan Boyle Dropped From Britain’s Got Talent Tour
SUSAN Boyle Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Susan Boyle in the news - SUSAN Boyle has been dropped from the Britain’s Got Talent Tour.
In “BOYLED OVER AGAIN”, the Mirror’s Mark Jefferies, screams:
EXCLUSIVE: Susan axed from BGT show after bizarre screaming fit
The Exclusive also appears in the Sun:
SUSAN Boyle pulled out of a Britain’s Got Talent gig last night — suffering from “tiredness”.
Posted: 19th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Susan Boyle | Comments (14) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Susan Boyle Launches Range Of Merchandise
SUSAN Boyle Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Susan Boyle in the news. Susan launches a new range of merchandise, which may say well should she well, retire undefeated…
Susan Boyle is one reality TV contestant who let fame go to her head. And by that, I mean she had a breakdown as a result of the celebrity that was thrust upon her after appearing on “Britain’s Got Talent.” But she’s not alone. Paula Goodspeed committed suicide outside “American Idol” judge Paula Abdul’s home after being teased about her weak tryout. Then there’s CT from “Real World/Road Rules Challenges: The Duel 2,” who would have killed Adam in a couple fights if producers and cast members hadn’t intervened.
Posted: 17th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Photojournalism, Susan Boyle | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
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