Giving Nature A Hand

‘SINCE this article is on the Internet, anyone reading it is a pervert. What the Mail has long believed is now fact in the Mirror.

Wanker

But worry not, because news is that frequent masturbation can reduce a man’s risk of prostate cancer.

Regular visits to Anorakslappers.com can reduce a surfer’s exposure to ‘cancer-triggering’ chemicals.

Since no British man would sully his hands on this matter, the research has been carried out in Australia.

Dr Graham Giles of Melbourne’s La Trobe University puts his findings in plain English: ‘The more you flush the ducts out, the less there is to hang around and damage cells.’

Another Australian, Anthony Smith of the Australian Research Centre in Sex Health and Society in Melbourne, gets excited.

‘If these findings hold up,’ he pants, ‘then it’s perfectly reasonable that men should be encouraged to masturbate.’

Further trials are already underway in Melbourne - ‘The World’s Masturbation Capital’.

Shane Warne has been showing the local cricket academy how to clean out your tubes and get added spin on the cricket ball…

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Posted: 17th, July 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink