Zoe’s Birthday Surprise

‘ZOE celebrated her 21st birthday with the news that every female chav longs to get – she’s going to be a single mum. “I’m young, I’m single and I ain’t pregnant by you,” she taunted Dirty Den in The Vic. “You tried to destroy me but you failed.”

”Bloody Viagra!”

Unfortunately for Zoe, she spoke too soon as the very next day she threw up at the sight of Big Mo’s cooking. Admittedly that in itself isn’t a cause for concern but Zoe thought she should do a pregnancy test just in case. When Little Mo found her in the bathroom clutching a positive test and crying, Zoe had to think quickly and claimed that she was worried that she’d had a miscarriage.

Zoe broke the news to Den that she really was pregnant, which means he’s now scored a hat trick of illegitimate children. Den didn’t take the news terribly well, growling at her to “get rid of it”. But it’s nothing to Chrissie’s reaction – tabloid gossip has it that she kills him and buries him under the Vic. In the meantime, Chrissie is biding her time and sweetly telling Den how kind it is of him to take such an interest in his unborn ‘grand child’.

Little Mo and Billy have also discovered the problems that illegitimate kids can bring – they’ve split up (for the millionth time) over Freddie, the rapist’s baby. “We’ve been over this time and again,” Billy told Charlie – echoing the thoughts of six million viewers, “there’s nothing more to say.” Here’s hoping Billy keeps to his word - but somehow, it’s unlikely.

More parental heartache this week when Patrick had to bury his son, Paul. Anthony took a break from the set of ‘Casualty’ next door and popped along for the funeral and to try and comfort his father. Patrick is determined to bring Paul’s killers to justice but Anthony’s worried. “It won’t bring him back,” Anthony told him – demonstrating a fine grasp of medical knowledge.

Patrick is convinced that Andy is to blame and this was backed up by his conversation with Sam, who told him that her ex husband and Paul were dealing drugs together. Patrick has now gone all ‘Death Wish’ and is determined to take out all the dealers, pushers and pimps in Walford. Here’s hoping he’ll also include all the criminal actors while he’s at it.

On a happier – if repellent – note, Ian Beale has finally got himself a new girlfriend. Jane has finally succumbed to his ‘charms’ and poor Pauline got the shock of her life when she walked into Ian’s flat and found the pair in bed together – there hasn’t been that much hideous white crumbling flesh on TV since Celebrity Big Brother.’

Posted: 7th, February 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink