Paris Hilton Road Tests The New iPad

PARIS Hilton is testing out the new iPad.

Because Hollywood starlets are never guilty of anything, they need a background story to make the audience understand and support them in their hour of need.

So Paris is living not in a prison cell but investigating energy efficient living for the 22nd century. One day all Hilton hotel rooms will have a lights out time, a big lock on the door in place of electronic key cards and group showers in lukewarm water and spittle. Al Gore approves.

We have already learnt that Paris is not using the toilet, having selflessly cut down her eating and drinking to prevent excessive water use.

And the other benefit of this elite and fashionable lifestyle choice is that it helps you lose weight. The Sun says Paris’s weight has fallen from 110lbs to 100lbs.

A source says Paris looks “very thin with her bones poking out”. She is described as being “weak and lethargic.”

Of course, the source knows as well as we do that you can never be too thin, and listless is the look of choice for the vapid girls immersed in the weltschmerz of Hollywood living.

Pic: 14 

Anorak

Posted: 20th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink