Killer Crocs Stalk NHS Hospitals
“NHS ON ALERTS,” announces the Sun’s lead page. “CROCS CAN KILL.”
“Where is Steve Irwin when you need him?” a reader asks.
But the crocs that infest Britain are not fanged beasts but moulded plastic shoes.
Britain is the thrall of a summer shoe shocker.
Only yesterday we read how Kathleen Jennings had been brought before the Beak for placing her flipflops on the seat of a train. (Criminally, she has escaped with no further punishment.)
The time is ripe to establish a consensus of what is acceptable as British footwear.
We noted that Ms Jennings was travelling from Oldham to Chester. Never wear brown in town was once enough. Now we need a full and frank code and very possibly a Government-appointed Summer Shoe Tsar.
The tipping point has been exceeded as we learn that the wrong shoes can not only soil seats but kill.
It is said that the shoes, when worn by nurses, can trigger static electricity and “KO” vital hospital equipment.
The Sun sees the shoes lay waste to a patient’s respirator in Sweden.
Sheffield NHS bosses have been quick to react and banned crocs from the city’s hospitals. A nationwide ban is scheduled to follow, says the Sun.
But the nurses see things differently. Says Gail Adams, head of nursing for the union Unison: “As long as nurses are not running up to work in fuchsia pairs I do not see a problem.”
We suggest that until a moratorium can be conducted, the nurses are met halfway and allowed to keep their shoes so long as they are black or a deep tan and passed off as brogues…
Posted: 5th, September 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (14) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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September 9th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
I love my crocs!!! if i could id wear them to school!!
September 8th, 2007 at 12:00 am
its all a crock
September 7th, 2007 at 9:31 am
Suddeny I love my crocs even more. I have to give a little thought but,
Hey! The Perfect Crime!
Probs with granny on the ventialtor and your inheritance? The Croc wearing Assasin is on the case…..
The storylines are endless and I’m on it.
September 7th, 2007 at 9:27 am
[...] the killer footwear can attract police attention. Having earlier brought you news that crocs can off hospital patients in their beds – rubber on lino produces a static shock that can put paid to respirators and rented TV sets - [...]
September 6th, 2007 at 11:58 pm
fuk ure crocs
September 6th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
I work 14 hours on each of my shifts.I am a neonatal intensive care nurse and most of the time I am on my feet, this can be day or night. I do not wear my crocs for fashion , I am not a fan of the look per se but they are soooo comfortable, I would really hate to part with them. All I can suggest to those people wishing to see them banned is try working the hours we do on your feet all day walking and often running ( in emergencies) on hard floors and they may see things in a different light!
September 6th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
i love my crocs,comfy practical,not as stylish as some but i wouldnt be without
September 6th, 2007 at 8:15 am
LOL - we don’t wear them in heaven either….it’s a humanoid phenomenon
September 6th, 2007 at 12:09 am
These are the most DISGUSTING things man has made on this planet! GET rid of these things which are ruining lives!!!!!! You people make me sik,,,, literally! Anand you are so rite …. fat ugly feet!
September 6th, 2007 at 12:02 am
I HATE CROCS I HOPE THEY ALL BURN IN HELL! stoopid ugly shoes are like a rubber clog :S! wot the hells up with them..face it..all u people that think they look nice..are just hiding the fact u have fat ugly feet and in actual fact ure making it more OBVIOUUS!
September 5th, 2007 at 5:10 pm
Yeah, you are right, Killer Crocs is much more punchy.
September 5th, 2007 at 11:40 am
Excellent post Chopper,
Don’t see any prospect of you managing to sell it to anyone though, since when has the truth had any impact on public opinion?
September 5th, 2007 at 10:03 am
This is a phenomenon called Electro Static Discharge (ESD).
Footwear plays a major part as they are what connect a person to earth, if they are highly insulative they form a barrier between the person and earth thus not allowing any static build up (produced by clothing, hair etc) on the person to dissipate. The only time this static can escape is when the person touches something which is earthed (for example medical machinery), and this discharge is highly damaging to electronic equipment.
Incidentally, we only feel the shock if we build up approx 3000v or more, anything below that and we don’t feel a thing.
So now you know what is happening next time you get a belt for touching your car!
September 5th, 2007 at 9:06 am
I LOVE MY CROCS and I don’t care what you say!
I’d sooner my medic wore washable Crocs than scummy old brogues that could have walked in anything en route.
UP WITH CROCS.