Chanelle Hayes 1: Victoria Beckham 2
CHANELLE Hayes is preparing to tell Star readers about her fight with “SMELLY Victoria Beckham.
The Big Brother star emeritus is getting ready. We see her dressed only in her knickers and bra (matching) and pulling up a pair of fishnet stockings.
Inside, spread over the Star’s centre-crease, Chanelle is “Chanelle No.1”. She is launching her own perfume. Called Simply Chanelle, the scent features top notes of used hankie, fresh tissue and bottom notes of out-the-box PVC.
“I’m really pleased with it,” says Chanelle. “I chose the name and chose loads and loads of different samples.”
And, of course, Chanelle hopes she will beat smelly’ Posh’s own signature odour. The two women look a little alike, and it is hoped that the addition of branded scents will help one and all differentiate between the two. And stop David Beckham from making a terrible mistake…
October 11th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Already made a terrible mistake didn’t he?
October 11th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Oh, come on…
October 11th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
“I’m really pleased with it,” says Chanelle. “I chose the name and chose loads and loads of different samples.”
I’m sure choosing the name “Simply Chanelle” was difficult. I don’t understand the obsession, but to each their own.
I know her name is Chanelle and that she’d get out of this for that alone, but surely this raises some questions over at Chanel? You know…people in high-priced fashion are always screaming foul when people copy their names, designs, etc. in any weak way. If I ever have a kid, I’ll name him Burberri, the fake check will be back in no time, and they won’t be able to prosecute as easily! (Alright, I wouldn’t really…)
October 11th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Already have, and dot-commed it…
October 11th, 2007 at 5:58 pm
Blast you! How am I supposed to “Live the Dream” if I can’t sell-out my life and children like every good pseudo-celebrity? Oh right…that was Chantelle’s quote, not Chanelle’s (all the same to me). I suppose I could always marry a footballer or have a secret affair with Max Clifford, I’m sure there are enough pages in Heat for both of us.
Before I’m chastised, that’s tongue-in-cheek, I know I have to mosey along to get an education, job….misgiving the dream.
October 11th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
Anyone want to see pictures of Max Clifford naked?
October 11th, 2007 at 6:56 pm
That’s not exactly what I would think would come out of an affair with him! Would anyone dare kiss’n'tell with Max Clifford (against his “wishes)? He’d just claim they ate his hamster…
October 11th, 2007 at 7:33 pm
Never mind Alan it could be worse……….
If you bought her a bottle of Chanelles perfume you’d probably be sleeping with the fishes.
October 11th, 2007 at 7:43 pm
Apparently that wasn’t the right spice to spice up your love/sex life? Better luck if Victoria ever launches her own lingerie line…lest men worldwide be scored.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:09 pm
Does her perfume really smell that bad? We have a small room, dubbed the “4 seasons” that we keep all of our holiday junk in…
I was going to suggest you use the perfume (probably thrown in your general direction) and spread it around the park bench, to keep people from stealing it (plus the odd crazy night person).
Maybe a women’s shelter would take pity on you? Maybe you could start your own little men’s group?
October 16th, 2007 at 7:12 am
October 18th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
[...] Chanelle Hayes 1: Victoria Beckham 2Anorak - She is launching her own perfume. Called Simply Chanelle, the scent features top notes of used hankie, fresh tissue and bottom notes of out-the-box PVC. I m really pleased with it, says Chanelle. I chose the name and chose loads and loads [...]
October 30th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
i think chanelle is a complete bitch i h8 her she is a fucking idiot she is so dumb, she moaned about everything as if she was sum sort of baby. she’s bluddy 19 for fuck sake omg. wen i c her i will kill her swear down dat bitch. neway how sad r u lot righting coments on dis site have you lot got nething beter to do than just loung around on your fat asses and post coments like dickheads get a fucking life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 18th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Hmm, anoosha. Did you go to school? Primary school? Because your spelling is absolutely abyssmal. Dont you see the hypocrisy in your comment? Oh, i’m sorry, your backward mind needs an explanation. Hypocrisy = Describing something you regard as “bad” and then doing that same thing yourself. Nevermind, i’m sure it’s lost on you. Lets just settle for the fact that you’re a retard. Anyway, with him rebuked, stupid doyles like Chanelle and their chav’ed up names, victims of teenage pregnancy with a warped perspective on life. I blame them for the intellectual downfall of the younger generation. I mean for fuck’s sake, I was the only person in my school to have actually read a book in my spare time. Anyway, my final comment to anoosha, enjoy your life :- In Prison/Working in a CHicken Factory or Call Centre for 40 years/On Drugs/In Rehab you cant afford/Sweepeing Streets. Am i missing anything here??
May 18th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
And dont even think about pulling me up on my ONLY typo! I type fast. Not that you know what a typo is or could spot it anyway.