Princess Diana’s Last Line Contest
PRINCESS Diana is wearing pearl-drop earrings on the cover of the Express. She is illustrated by the headline: “DIANA – mystery of the elegant tall man in death tunnel.”
Inside and it’s the: “Riddle of the tall and elegant man.”
Jacques Morel is addressing the inquest. Yesterday we learnt that Morel had once seen a moustachioed, burly man wearing cowboy boots. Today Morel sees a “tall, elegant man”.
Morel sees more men than Princess Diana ever did.
“The people have to know the truth,” says Morel. “The real truth. People have the right to know and the children of Princess Diana have the right to know.” All five of them. (Read about that in my new book Diana On Althorp Island.)
Morel speaks, and makes ready to write his book. And the Mail sees a Damien Dalby take the stand. He says Diana was trying to speak. “Why didn’t they ask Evans,” she mumbles.”
No, not really. Or maybe… For now, we hear that as Diana lay broken in the car she uttered: “Oh my God, oh my God.”
These are Diana’s “last words as she lay dying in wreckage of her car”.
Sober. But can it be? And will it be allowed to be? What of a better last line, such as “Am I dying or is this my birthday?”, “I am ready to die for my Lord, that in my blood the Church may obtain liberty and peace”, and “Don’t let poor Nelly starve”?
If there is to be an official last utterance, make it a memorable one, something proud and more poignant than the noise made by Rachel from Friends gasping at a stain on her pencil skirt.
Suggestions for fitting last lines, if you please…
October 26th, 2007 at 11:22 am
“Oh look! I’ve gone all squidgy”.
October 26th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
“oooooooooooooomphhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
October 26th, 2007 at 3:42 pm
“I see shops”
October 26th, 2007 at 4:32 pm
Me so horny.
October 26th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
What’s the frequency, Kenneth?
October 26th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
I’m like a candle in the wind . . . er, tunnel.
October 26th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
“Please . . . don’t . . . take . . . my picture . . . any . . . more . . . wait . . . I . . . didn’t . . . mean . . . that.”
October 26th, 2007 at 4:57 pm
“I see dead people . . . Versace! Mother Teresa! Bring me back Versace!”
October 26th, 2007 at 5:04 pm
“God save the Queen. Oh, you won’t? Well, then, never mind.”
October 26th, 2007 at 5:10 pm
“There is no god but Allah.” There, Dodi, I’ve said it. Now let me see what it is you’ve bought.”
October 26th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
“Madonna? Sorry, wrong Madonna.”
October 26th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
“I’m not dead yet. I don’t want to go into the cart.”
October 26th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
“Nice driving, Henri.”
October 26th, 2007 at 5:32 pm
“Dodi, fix your head, darling. It’s out of place.”
October 26th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
“Oh my God, oh my God. God looks like Michael Jackson.”
October 26th, 2007 at 5:48 pm
“Did we hit something?”
October 26th, 2007 at 6:06 pm
“D-d-d- . . . Dodi and the Benz.”
October 26th, 2007 at 6:20 pm
“Nice camera . . . some oxygen would be nice.”
October 26th, 2007 at 7:32 pm
Pass this on - we need a fitting epithet…
October 26th, 2007 at 7:36 pm
*snifffffffffff* (rolled up £50)
October 26th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
“Want to see my tits?”
October 27th, 2007 at 5:55 am
Oh bugger!
I’ve broken a nail
October 27th, 2007 at 7:45 am
It’s a bit crowded in here.
October 27th, 2007 at 8:19 am
‘There were four of us in this car carsh…….’
October 27th, 2007 at 10:13 am
We could also borrow from another case under investigation, nicht wahr?
“I’ve had the best day ever. Lots and lots of fun.”
October 27th, 2007 at 10:47 am
To the ambulance man:
“Don’t worry, Monsieur, I always wear my heart on my sleeve.”
October 27th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
“game over-insert coin”
October 27th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
“More champagne.”
October 27th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
“I see French people.”
October 27th, 2007 at 9:40 pm
Oh Henri, you drive me up the wall!