Fore Play: Sex Addicts Get More Exercise Than Golfers
“SEX is the second most popular exercise in Britain – after walking,” claims the Daily Mirror.
A strange claim, not least because we didn’t realize that sex had now been re-categorized as “exercise” – presumably in a bit by the government to rid it of any unhelpful connotations of pleasure or fun.
This possibly sheds some light on a story in today’s Daily Telegraph, which says that old people have been branded “leeches” by no less a publication than The Golf Club Secretary Newsletter.
Their complaint is that old persons, who pay reduced rates, are living longer, and playing more golf (“Two or three times a week”, to be precise). This is clogging up the courses, and preventing younger members (who pay higher subscriptions) unable to play.
This situation can only get worse.
Let’s assume that, for exercise purposes, golf is counted under the rubric of “walking”. This means that when these perky pensioners aren’t leeching on the golf course, they are at it like rabbits in the bedroom. Sooner or later, something has to give, and presumably the sex will go before the golf. Whereupon we can expect to see the formerly lecherous leeches on the golf course every day.
Free Viagra for all pensioners or a thousand new golf courses by 2020?
Let’s have an electric-blanket-heated debate!
November 13th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Could do with new courses, ours gets flooded out every winter, of course this summer was an exception and it got flooded out then… the driving range is ok but the balls squdge rather than bounce. The 19th hole is in excellent order and good prices too. BUT what goes on behind the bushes is disgusting, now in my young day there were couples there canoodling, but not any more, no NO!!! some daft youngster trying to get the ball back on the fairway, and GOUGING out great holes, big enough for rabbits or pensioners…..
November 13th, 2007 at 4:01 pm
I know which I’d rather have!
November 13th, 2007 at 7:05 pm
If you need to lose weight - go for the sex - it burns up more calories - that’s assuming, of course, that one likes it a little on the frisky side…..
Otherwise, hit the 9’s.
November 13th, 2007 at 10:56 pm
Ours is an 18, and some , not necessarily the pensioners , use carts…
November 14th, 2007 at 1:34 am
[...] Fore Play: Sex Addicts Get More Exercise Than GolfersAnorak.co.uk (satire), UK - 12 hours agoFree Viagra for all pensioners or a thousand new golf courses by 2020? Let’s have an electric-blanket-heated debate! [...]
November 14th, 2007 at 3:33 am
Sex is great exercise!! I do it for 30 mins a day and look totally buff, in the buff
November 14th, 2007 at 8:20 am
June says:
“the balls squidge rather than bounce”
…oh to be young again…
November 29th, 2007 at 4:25 am
ffrr