Breaking Media, Politicians & Celebrities Since 1995

IN recent times, Anorak has found cause to comment on a man who had sex with a bicycle (proven) and another who attempted to romance a fence (alleged).

Having read of Toni Vernelli, sterilised at age 27 to reduce her carbon footprint, we should expect more of the same.

There is much “breathing” in the act of coitus, and it is greener to have sex with non-breathing, inanimate objects - although not rubber dolls, plastic devices or endangered species, such as polar bears.

And now we learn via the Sport’s front page of the man, a “twisted pervert”, who was caught “bonking” a BMW 328i.

Readers learn that the vehicle was “washed down” after Sandy Wong had had his way.

But perhaps not as you may suppose. Mr Wong, of Edmonton, Canada, was found sprawled over the roof, legs dangling by the driver’s side with his trousers about his ankles.

Mr Wong was, in the language of tabloid newspapers, “pleasuring himself”. He was at the region’s Home & Garden show.

In court, it is on the record that Mr Wong is aroused by the 1967 Camaro and the 1995 Chevy Bel Air. Earlier this year, Mr Wong was seen in onanistic pose atop a Mini Copper.

Mr Wong has been sentenced to 90 days in prison. He was driven off to the cells in a police van, his face contorted into what psychiatrists term a “state of euphoric bliss”…

Posted: 26th, November 2007 | In: Strange But True, Tabloids. Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0