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“MARC Bannerman’s hooker and cocaine shame,” announces the News of the World.

It’s all to be expected. Celebrities appear on reality TV to show the world the real them. They will then enlarge upon the real them in Celebrities On Ice, Celebrity Ski School, autobiographies and supermarket openings, become the face of a charity and front an eponymous chatshow.

But they find reality occurs after the event, in tabloid headlines and pantomime costumes.

Today we get this on former EastEnders actor Marc Bannerman, as told by prostitute Shann Fallon (32C-24-35): “Marc apologised and told me he’d taken too much coke. I unzipped his trousers and massaged him but still it showed no signs of life.

“In the end we went back to just cuddling…and doing more drugs.”

As ever with cocaine sensations, the tabloid press offers condemnation and a handy How To guide. For those of you unaware how much cocaine makes up a line, the NOTW offers: “And Marc took a LOT of cocaine. He got himself quite a reputation for it and got the nickname of Double Barrel Bannerman by showing off his party trick—sniffing a whole gram in one go.

“Whereas most people would split a gram into 12 lines he’d cut it up into two big ones. Then he’d put a drinking straw up either nostril and snort both lines at the same time.”

This information is augmented by the news that Ms Fallon “demands £120 an hour”.

Graduates of stage schools should take notes…

Posted: 9th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids. Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0