David Beckham’s Hung Like a Tractor
SAYS Victoria Beckham: “I’m proud I still have a really good sex life with David. He is very much in proportion.”
In proportion to what is unspecified - his talent, his fame, his brand, his wife? Says Vicky, in the Sun: “He does have a huge one, though. He does. You can see it in the advert. It is all his.”
The advert is the one debated earlier in the week. And in truth, you cannot tell what is and is not Beckham’s; even the underpants that cover Little Becks carry the name tag “Armani”.
But this is talk of Beckham’s genitals is not all that pleasant. Many did look at the picture of Beckham in his Y-fronts and think “penis” or some word to that affect, but it is something best left alone.
Says Her Poshness, poshly: “It is like a tractor exhaust pipe!” Covered in mud and spewing out noxious substances? Who would want to get into bed with the outflow pipe from a piece of farm machinery? And since when did Her Poshenss become au fait with farms - has she been consorting with Rebecca Loos, pig tosser of repute?
Vicky continues: “I love sex. It is very important. I don’t need to take my whip home. I already have one there.”
Well, if he won’t come willingly…
December 15th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Wonder what he thinks of her Boniness?
December 15th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Has Anorak been recruited to try and increase the readership of the Sun’s showbiz news?
Sadly, it was gordon who came up - or possibly down- with the tractor exhaust pipe, and Mel B’s the one with the whip at home.
Even Anorak is unlikely to be able to persuade us all that Bizarre, with or without a new editor, is anything but long past its sell-by date…
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mods and Admin
satire, satire, satire
December 15th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
2
chenier Says:
December 15th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Has Anorak been recruited to try and increase the readership of the Sun’s showbiz news?
Sadly, it was gordon who came up - or possibly down- with the tractor exhaust pipe, and Mel B’s the one with the whip at home.
Even Anorak is unlikely to be able to persuade us all that Bizarre, with or without a new editor, is anything but long past its sell-by date…
————-
mods and Admin
satire, satire, satire
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Glad you noticed; it took me a long time to work out how to get ‘came’ into that sentence…
And I’m still sulking about the blog’s failure to mark Knut’s first birthday…
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M&A
was that the day of the big move and utter chaos?
December 15th, 2007 at 3:57 pm
Padded underwear, hung like a tractor, Knuts?
Oh, never mind…
December 15th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
mods and Admin
satire, satire, satire
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Glad you noticed; it took me a long time to work out how to get ‘came’ into that sentence…
And I’m still sulking about the blog’s failure to mark Knut’s first birthday…
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M&A
was that the day of the big move and utter chaos?
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I think it might have been, in which case I had better stop sulking.
Actually, for such a big change over there was remarkably little chaos visible from this end; a few of my posts went missing, but upon mature reflection I concluded this was accidental.
It was only when Anorak ran the story about the shark, the Dalai Lama and the surfing kangaroo that I realised that there were dastardly deeds afoot…
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M&A
But the poor kangaroo!
December 15th, 2007 at 9:43 pm
sick. someone give her a dummy please.
December 17th, 2007 at 9:56 am
How awful for Posh to talk about Becks in such a way. All eyes will be elsewhere now when he plays his game! Oh my.