Jacqui Smith’s Spit Of Bother, With Jade Goody

POOR Jade Goody. Had only she not performed so badly in Celebrity Big Brother she would be on hand to help Home Secretary Jacqui Smith through the perils of kebab eating and late-night street walking.

But Celebrity Kebab Shop with Jade Goody remains in the planning stages, and any intentions to have Goody installed as the Government’s Curry Sauce tzar are now deemed too racial even for new Labour.

And so it is that Jacqui Smith, our Home Secretary, is forced to take her life, and meat product sandwich, in her hands and wander into “KATIES kebabs and burgers” in Peckham, South London.

Such a happening gives Smith a useful anecdote with which to thrill the hacks and her fellow MPs. She recalls her visit to the kebab eatery but cannot recall the time. Citizen Smith claims it is “evening”. Ender Ginel, the kebab shop owner, says it was “early evening”.

The Mail siezes on this discrepancy (”Smith stumbles into kebab fiasco”). Having dealt with the differences between “casual” and “smart casual”, it now dives fearlessly into what into the murky world of reservations.

KATIES’ policy is clear: “When we have special customers in here like families we just chuck the troublemakers out,” says Mr Ginel. Adding: “Jacqui Smith didn’t have any problems in here.” At no time was she asked to leave.

Says Mr Ginel: “She just sat there and ate her kebab.”

That Smith then told the world about her adventure with meat on a stick is no matter of public record.

And we look forward to her debating the role of kebabs in the community on Question Time, alongside a contrite Ms Goody…

Some questions for Ms Smith:

Was your kebab hung for 56 days?
Is meat murder?
How do your remove curry sauce from white fabric?

On The Couch With Citizen Smith

Anorak

Posted: 21st, January 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jade Goody, Politicians, Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink