Prince Harry Plays At Tabloid Soldiers: Matt Drudge Reads New Ideas
WE join the action in the wastes of Helmland Province, Afghanistan. The UK Media Corps is discussing the news that Prince Harry has been fighting the Taliban, something they all knew weeks ago but which was made public by New Ideas magazine in January, an Australian woman’s weekly- and claimed as a scoop in March by the self-serving Matt Drudge:
PSSST! They say Prince Harry is in Afghanistan.
MEDIA CORPS: Hurrah! Tally-ban!
Shhh!
EXPRESS (Lance Corporal): HARRY THE SECRET HERO.
STAR (Private): “WHEN HARRY MET TALI”
Shhhhh!
EXPRESS: “Harry and the Gurkas give the Taliban a pasting.”
Keep it down, lads. Mindless chatter costs lives and..
SUN (Private): “ONE OF OUR BOYS. Frontline prince kills 30 Taliban.
MIRROR (Corporal): MY WAR
It’s Operation Harry. All the lads have pulled on their regulation issue Harry Hair and to the cry “I’m Harry Windsor” attracted the Taliban from their fox holes and caves, so facilitating an easier slaughter?
SUN: WIDOW 67
Keep it down. We can’t have the enemy knowing Harry’s secret call sign…
SUN: “Wills says mum would be so proud.”
Diana was ever one for the Army. And khaki is this year’s black…
MIRROR: “MUM IS LOOKING DOWN ON ME”
Don’t be so hard on yourself, Harry
SUN: Tears on the phone to his Chelsy”
ANDY McNAB (Professional Shoadow): “I’m gutted for Prince Harry. I really feel for the fella as reports from the front line were that he’d been doing a sensational job… but the foreign press who leaked the tour of duty have now blown Harry’s chances out of the water…The leak has now thrown a potential hand-grenade into his career.”
Take cover!
MAIL (Lieutenant): “Harry puts his life on the line”
JON SNOW (Padre): “I never thought I’d find myself saying thank God for Drudge”
Because he broke the secret – the one many in the UK media already knew – that Harry was in Afghanistan? Because Jon Snow was wondering where Harry had got to? Because Jon Snow is a sanctimonies handwringer, the media’s in-house vicar?
(Jon Snow may care to know that the story was not broken by the self-serving Matt Drudge but by weekly women’s magazine New Idea)
MAIL: “Harry calls in an air strike”
4 Horseferry Road, London…
ALL: Incoming!!!!
February 29th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Excellent;
1. Fashion point It is CAMO that is this year’s black.
2. Let’s not have an adult discussion why our royal pince is playing his role in laying down Guernicas by the dozen evry day.
3. Let’s not have an adult discusion about what NATO is doing in Afghanistan, what the objectives are .
4. Let’s forget George Galloway’s perfect point on Question Time that the Media have twice this week suppressed news - Afghan hostages held for 8/9 months on a ‘D’ Notice and Harry cavorting in the sandpit. What else are they suppressing ? he sensibly asks.
5. Sky interviewed reprsentatives self congratulating themselves from the SUn and News of the World on their self - restraint. …joint decision .. no threats … but they can kep their royal correspondents intact no doubt… and maybe we may see a few more knighted Editors this year.
Glad to see you missed out mentioning that Harry is my son. His mother would have appreciated that.
February 29th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
I wonder if he had to buy his own kit or was asked to give up his body armour at any stage….? all this stuff about him just being “normal” like all the other lads is complete rubbish!!!! the fuss being made about the so-called “hero prince” is nauseating and insulting to the rest of the armed forces who REALLY don’t have a choice about whether they go or how long they stay there.
March 1st, 2008 at 8:47 am
Much entertained lying in bed listening to BBC World Service (FCO propaganda Radio) as he explained how he disliked the papparazzi …. having seen forest felled to print the extravaganza of our “normal” squaddie. Artfully contrived as per David Lean , ‘Orence of Arabia in his shades with monster phallic gun …driven noticeably by a coloured gent (equal ops sarge’)…strangely enough no lasses about in the desert … but there always are when Blair went there, Brown , etc.,
Of course mustn’t suggest our “normal” prince isn’t getting his rocks off nightly.
One wonders if , as he careered along on a rusty old dodgy old brakeless motor bike without a crash helmet someone had done an HSE risk assessment.
I suppose they have to sell their squalid war somehow.
March 1st, 2008 at 10:17 am
Cynical old me but did our government hit on the perfect solution for Prince Harry’s eagerness to be a real soldier and the various conflicts arising? Pack him off for what was only intended ever to be a short term stint. Swear our press to secrecy then arrange for a leak after a predetermined time. Nothing for it but to bring him back! Honour and image satisfied. Prince Harry back on safe turf. Brilliant. Allegedly….
March 1st, 2008 at 11:55 pm
Why did the British Govt let the media know anyway. Surely, not everything is known to the media. If so, they should know all about Diana then. Very odd indeed that as soon as a magazine reveals all, so to speak, Harry is deemed to be in danger, and indeed his fellow soldiers. Harry must feel very bad and also feel he is being controlled, by having his tour of duty cut short and home he goes. For a young man, this is not nice for him. Harry should do what he wants to do in future.
March 3rd, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Someone should call in an airstrike on Matt Drudge!
Drop some ordinance right in his fat face.
Should I ever run into him (though I admit it’s not likely) I plan to punch him right in said fat face.
It’ll be a first offence for me, probation easy!!