Beware The Talking Dentist
“DENTISTS who can’t speak English ‘put patients in peril,” says the Mail.
Readers may argue that all dentists put all patients in peril, chiefly when they stick a drill in your mouth. Peril is what dentists are best at.
But not all pleased. Says Michael Summer of the Patient Association: “We receive lots of complaints about dentists whose English is extremely poor and who are difficult to understand. This can lead to errors and mistakes.”
It turns out, though, that the dentists who cannot speak England are not British born but foreigners. This is not indictment of our education system and how easy it is to becoming a dentist by learning the language of dentistry parrot fashion.
It is well known fact that dentists need only master three phrases in English:
“Going somewhere nice on holiday?”
“A6…missing”
“Rinse”
The reply is always the same: “Guggluphug.”
Next!
March 17th, 2008 at 11:50 am
‘Let go of me ************** or I’ll take the next one out without an anesthetic’ is another useful phrase for the aspiring dentist.
March 17th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
My dentist and I usually talk about motorcycles, he thinks he’s a biker.
Well actually he talks, I gurgle.
March 17th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
I remember that awful gas they used in the 50’s when taking out teeth.A mask was put over your face and quickly it knocked you out. When it was all over they slapped you in the face to bring you around again.
Very impressed with dentists here, and, so many people take care of their teeth with regular appointments.Brazilians so often have beautiful teeth.
March 17th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Was that a real narcosis or laughing gas (nitrous oxide/N2O), John Blake? I’ve heard it is still used in the US.
March 17th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Hi BabyJane,
You are probably right about it being nitrous oxide(N2O) it is however described as having a pleasant sweet odour and taste.The gas I remember wasn`t my idea of being pleasant but bloody awful….even the rubber mask they put over your face smelt of it.
What is also interesting about nitrous oxide is that it is a MAJOR green house gas and apparently,over a period of 100 years it is 310 times stronger(per unit) in the atmosphere than carbon dioxide(CO2) A laughing gas that is NO laughing matter!
Best,
JOHN
March 17th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Hi John,
No laughing matter, indeed!
By the way, reading your experience with the rubber mask narcosis I instantly had the sharp, awful smell in my nose. Almost 40 years ago - appendix. Maybe aether or chloroform?
Somebody in the surgery put the mask on my nose and the mouthpiece of a a red balloon into my mouth. Then the person said: “Blow up the ballon.” And I did, because as a small child I thought it might somehow be important for the “success” of the surgery.
But, of course, It just was a mean trick to make children inhale through the nose.
March 18th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
I’ll never forget that gas they used in the 50s. My smiling Hungarian dentist gave it to me when I was 5 or 6. He wasn’t smiling when I woke up shaking, groaning and unable to walk. An ambulance had to be called and I ended up in the hospital but luckily recovered.
Last time I had that!
March 18th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
David,
You didn’t have a sore bum did you, when you woke up, unable to walk?
March 18th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
I don’t recall the balloon trick. but I do remember the taste of a rubber grip that they had you bite on, and the smell of the mask and the sickly-sweet gas.
Suddenly novocaine injections don’t seem so bad. It’s the accompanying extractions from the wallet that give me most discomfort these days.
March 18th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Mic, you wuss … a little prick never hurt anyone.
March 18th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
My old dentist was Swedish and did not have a very good command of English. She used to delve deep with a prong onto every molar and when I yelped she would smile a beaming smile and say “Eeet hurt, ya?”
My replacement dentist would pack my cheeks so I resembled a hamster and half way through drilling would ask me if I was doing anything nice for the weekend. Strangely, he could always understand my replies of “gnungggg, gurg, gug-gug” because he was apt to reply “oh you’ll like it. I went there last month”
March 18th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
My Hungarian dentist used to say “Open vide your mouse”
I stopped going to him after the gas incident, it freaked my mother out (didn’t do a hell of a lot for me either) and my dad was all set to go down there and kick his butt. My mother talked him out of it though.
As far as I remember Mic my bum was unsullied.
My next dentist was an English sadist who did things like filling front teeth with dark silver filling. When I moved to the USA my new dentist looked around in my mouth and said, “So this is English dentistry eh? Are these guys kidding?”
I assured him they weren’t and he proceeded to fix the carnage, I actually have a passable smile now.