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IN “FURY ACROSS THE MERSEY”, the Sun leads with news that cops are to “police abusive fans at Kop derby”.

The “Kop derby” is, of course, last weekend’s match between Liverpool and their city rivals Everton.

Things were said to the players by the fans. Cruel things. Things the Sun will not lower itself to repeat.

But relief from harsh words is on the way as Prime Minister Gordon Brown “joined the debate”* about “appalling behaviour at football matches by backing The Sun’s Shut It! Campaign”.

The Sun’s front-page news is, rightly, the Sun’s campaign.

Gordon Brown who writes for the sun almost weekly, says: “We all know children imitate the behaviour they see from adults, whether it’s good or bad, and especially from their sporting heroes.”

He’s right. We’ve lost count of the number of children we see gulping for air between words, bankrolling an iffy war in Iraq and selling off the country’s gold reserves at a fraction of their worth.

Gordon goes on: “But — whether they like it or not — our footballers have a greater responsibility than anyone else because they are so idolised and respected by our young people.”

Our politicians can be money-grabbing, self-serving warmongers but our footballers should be whiter than the Pope’s tan line.

So the country’s celebrity police force is investigating.

And just as soon as they’ve found the culprit and Brown’s made the fans press their fingers to their lips, the Rozzers will investigate why Pamela Anderson sleeps on her back, why water is wet and how political party funding works…

* This is the New Labour trick. If you’re an MP and get caught out saying something you believe in but that makes other people pall, all you need do is say you were joining the debate.

Posted: 1st, April 2008 | In: Back pages, Gordon Brown, Labour Party, Politicians, Tabloids. Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0