Breaking Media, Politicians & Celebrities Since 1995

JUST when you thought school could not get any worse, the Mirror announces: “FREE SCHOOL MEAL FOR EVERY PUPIL.”

Says Labour MP Sharon Hodgson said: “This is just the type of big bold thinking we need to secure a fourth term. In many schools, children roam the streets at lunchtimes, which is often bad news for local residents and good news for the chippy or burger bars.”

Vote Labour and say “No” to lunchtime trade. That’s the small business vote secured.

Ms Hodgson goes on: “It’s just over a century since the School Meals Act in 1906, which aimed to ensure children were not too hungry to concentrate.”

It’s 1906 and all that. No central heating in those halcyon days of rumbaba and rickets. Turn off the generator. Make it cold and so improve the students’ powers of concentration

“We now need to ensure that not only does no child go hungry but their food is healthy. All children get a desk, pencils and pens and a teacher. They should also get lunch, it’s as fundamental as that.”

What about desks sprayed with a Vitamin Varnish, quills plucked from organic hens, pencils fashioned from carrot sticks and a teacher who brings in an apple a day for her class?

Says the Mirror: “If Gordon Brown gives his backing the free meals could be Labour’s ‘big idea’ at the election.”

What’s the big idea, Gordon? It’s good glorious food, says he. And no, you can’t eat your pudding until you’ve finished your meat. How can you eat your pudding if you don’t eat your meat.

Please, Mr Brown, do I have to have any more?

Picture: Oliver Brown 

Posted: 1st, April 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Gordon Brown, Labour Party, Politicians, Tabloids. Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0