Spice Girl Fakes It For Ultimo Sacrifice
SPICE Girl Scary Melanie Brown has signed a £½million deal to front the next Ultimo bra campaign.
But can this be right and proper? Mel’s breasts are assisted in the fight against gravity and bagginess by tape, thread and beanbag.
Unless each Ultimo bra comes with a full set of complimentary Scarys, stitched-in for added security – “belts and braces for your chest” (note to Ultimo marketing team – call me) – the bra will not do what it says on the box.
Says an Ultimo source: “We were blown away by the great shape she is in and desperate to land her. Mel B has never been bigger.”
The Sun says Mel measures 34DD. If the team at Ultimo blow away some more, Mel might make it to 34E, 34FF or 34GG.
Keep on blowing and Mel will rise into the air, like a shaved and trussed Richard Branson in his hot air balloons…
April 8th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
“Mel B has never been bigger.”
Or more repulsive. Just not a good look.